Ten Things Of Thankful: Merry Christmas on November 1st?

Ten Things Of Thankful Blog Hop

I heard my first Christmas tune on the radio Friday morning.

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" was being sung as the dark clouds of a major rainstorm hovered overhead.  Funny, I didn't see the relevance.  

What is even stranger is that the city postponed the kids going out and Trick or Treating on Halloween.  Instead, they are having all the kids go out on Friday evening to collect their goodies.

So, we can postpone Halloween a day and advertise Christmas a month and a half early.  At the same time, retailers are able to say, "Happy Halloween", but they're not allowed to say, "Merry Christmas" for fear of offending someone.

I may be dense, but I'm still having a hard time understanding that.

First off, I'm not offended by the various religious holidays.  If I walk into a store, and someone proclaims, "Happy Hanukkah", I simply will reply, "Happy Hanukkah" back in good will and respect.  

If groundhogs are the item of worship, I would simply say, "Happy Groundhogs Day" instead.

No, I don't celebrate Hanukkah or Groundhogs day.  But, I'm not offended by them.  Everyone has their right to celebrate and believe as they wish.  

So, why is Christmas under attack all of the time?  And, if a person doesn't believe in Christmas, why do they celebrate it by buying gifts, taking the day off, or, if they work that day, demand double time for the hours they put in?

Why is it okay to have Christmas carols playing a month and a half early, advertise Christmas layaway policies, and proclaim gigantic Christmas savings, but not allow your staff to say, "Merry Christmas?"  Has society grown so self centered and stupid that it doesn't realize that this holiday is based on a Christian belief?  

Have retailers forgotten that the majority of their fourth quarter earnings are based upon how many dollars are extracted from the wallets of those that celebrate the holiday?  Of course not!  But, they seem to be in fear of mentioning the reason why those dollars come their way.  Does not the "Spirit of Giving" come from the belief that the three wise men brought gifts to the Christ child in honor of his birth?  Why then, is it so wrong to mention his celebrated birthday's name?

I really don't care if you are a Christian or not.  Sorry, I'm not a religious fanatic that demands everyone believe the same way.  It's a person's individual right to believe as they wish, and pay the consequences for those beliefs, if there are any forthcoming in the afterlife, if even that exists.

No, I don't care.  But, don't be a damn hypocrite and celebrate a holiday you don't believe in!  Don't give or accept any gifts, do work that day for normal pay, and do go about your business as a tolerant adult should, instead of being a complete hypocritical ass that wants to enjoy the benefits of the holiday while bitching about its name.  And, if you're a business owner that doesn't allow your employees to wish people good tidings in the name of the holiday, then for the sake of your own hypocrisy, don't play Christmas music, advertise Christmas savings, or act like you believe in the Spirit of Giving.  

Happy Holidays?  

Sorry, I don't buy gifts for others to celebrate New Years Day.  

So, now that I've offended you with this rant, let's get on to what the purpose of this post is about.

It’s time for “Ten Things of Thankful” once again!

All of our wonderful hostesses have once again asked us to cast aside our normal philosophies of negative thought and remember those important things that are so commonly either ignored or simply taken for granted.  

So, without further ranting, rambling, or ado, let us begin this uncommon occurrence in our lives and start to become thankful!

1)  I’m thankful for shoes.  My wife is from Alabama and doesn’t really believe in them much.  I guess that’s why the bottoms of her feet resemble what most fire walkers would cherish having (and probably the same color).  Growing up in the country, I found that shoes were most beneficial.  Not only did they make walking much more comfortable, but briars, snakes, and the old style of beer can tabs couldn’t penetrate them as they could the bare bottoms of one’s feet.  Plus, without shoes, imagine how cold walking around in the Winter months would be?  Shower shoes don’t really count as shoes.  Once, as a child, I stepped on a board while wearing flip-flops, and found that a rusty nail easily penetrated them.  Also, I remember once running out in the snow to the mailbox in them and freezing.  Immediately, a lesson was learned.

2)  I’m thankful for gift cards.  I’ve warned most not to ever try to purchase me a gift for Christmas.  Simply make a quick trip to Best Buy, purchase me a gift card, and be done with my shopping.  Don’t buy me another polo shirt that will spend its life hanging lonely in the closet, a tie that will end up at a Goodwill center, or a cd that I already have.  And no, don’t give me a restaurant gift card.  Since most now have no smoking policies, I have a no visiting policy.  Even my wife still has a $10 gift card to Panara Bread Company that she received close to a year ago.  Best Buy only please!  (See, isn’t that simple!)

3)  I’m thankful for wheels.  Damn, where would we be without wheels?  I’d probably be at home, as I’m not one to go out and harness up the old horse and carriage.  Never did it and don’t want to start.  And, if cars didn’t have wheels, what would they have ... Lincoln Logs?  That would make getting about like Fred Flintstone’s car.  “Yabba Dabba Do!”  And, if that was the case, can you imagine braking the car the way they used to ... with their feet?!?!?   I’d have to take my wife with me wherever I’d go so her bare feet bottoms could stop the car!   That's it!  My wife has Fred Flinstone feet bottoms!  "WIIILLLLLMMMMAAAA!!!!"

4)  I’m thankful that college basketball season is starting.  Not only do I completely become immersed in the battles fought, it gives me a viable reason to have my wife watch and record “Dancing with the Stars”, “The Voice”, “Grey’s Anatomy”, “Duck Dynasty”, and other excuses for television viewing in her bedroom.  It’s the one time of the year I can sit back in complete peace and quiet and get wrapped up in television, even though I have deciphered that the NCAA Tourney, that will fill the screens next March, is actually decided in advance by the television programmers as to who will bring them the greatest viewing audience.

5)  I’m thankful that most individuals that vote also smoke marijuana.  That is the only reason that could exist for the short term memory loss problems they have in recalling the stupidity of current politicians and re-elect them to continual terms in office.  Perhaps, the governing body has finally determined that their future positions depend on the continuance of the voters smoking, and are coming around in changing the laws to make this a legal activity.

6)  I’m thankful that Kentucky still allows licenses to carry concealed weapons.  Although it is true that rednecks will always kill rednecks, it doesn’t seem to be in the masses that occur in other states that have much more strict gun control laws.  Perhaps there is acknowledgement among criminals that they really don’t know if their targets will be packing a pistol that keeps some of these crimes from occurring.  Still, one can be assured, if there’s ever an individual that believes he can make a name for himself by shooting innocent people in a public place, it probably won’t be a law officer that takes him down quickly.  It is a shame that society requires this action, but at least Kentucky recognizes that it is necessary.

7)  I’m thankful for Chinese food.  In a day when most lunches consist of fast food filled with additives and preservatives, Chinese restaurants can still provide you with a meal of fresh vegetables and brown rice for a minimal fee.  I’ve started visiting one three or four times a week, shifting between Mongolian Mix and Beef Broccoli for the most part.  For a heaping helping of the main course over rice and an egg roll, I pay $4.46.  I’ve also found that they will substitute chicken for beef in the Beef Broccoli, which takes some of the mystery out of the “is it really beef” question.  “Woof, Woof!”

8)  I’m thankful for a comfortable recliner.  I’m finding that I actually sleep better in my recliner than I do in bed.  (I just spent six hours in it dead to the world.)  I have no idea why, but if I go to bed, I’ll lie there for hours thinking about what I either could be doing, or need to be doing.  If I sit down in my recliner, I’m asleep in a minute or two.  My wife hates it, so I try to do it as often as possible.  After all, she can’t say I’m never around if I’m right there!  Right?  (She has, upon occasion, been known to bump against my feet or turn up the television volume to astronomical levels at times.  But then again, she’s never denied her “bitch” qualities!)

9)  I’m thankful for decent management at Office Depot.  Having sustained a somewhat rude experience last Saturday night at one of their locations, I arrived home and wrote their corporate office.  I remembered to keep attitude and emotions out of it, and only stated the facts and what I expected in return.  Within 24 hours, I received notification that store management had been contacted, and that I would be contacted by them within 48 hours.  Five hours later, I received a very professional and apologetic email from the store manager who stated he had discussed the matter with his staff, and for me to deal either with him or a member of his management team when I returned to have my request granted.  I arrived at the store, and when I stated my situation to a manager there, was surprised to find the incident had indeed been discussed.  I was immediately taken care of, apologies given, and left pleasantly surprised.  So much so, I immediately went to their corporate website and wrote another letter stating the high level of service received.  I’m still in a state of shock as this very seldom happens in this day and age.

10)  I’m thankful that I’ve finally reached the tenth item to be thankful for.  Would you believe this one actually took an hour and a half to write tonight?  Normally, I’m done with these in less than 30-40 minutes.  I’m guessing that I’ve been somewhat distracted by the television.  “Locked Up Abroad” was on for a noise factor, but it drew my attention several times as it first showed a couple of South Africans that had been held hostage by Freedom Fighters in Eastern Asia, and then two ditsy girls that had been caught smuggling cocaine from Peru.  I normally ignore shows like this, but for some reason, it caught my attention.  (God, Is my wife’s television habits rubbing off on me!)

And that’s it!  I’m finally done!  Over!  Complete!  

Man, I’m thankful I got through this one!

However, if you’re a glutton for punishment and want to see how others have struggled to put down their lists, you can see the complete listing of them here!

C'mon, you know you want to see more!

Oh, by the way, if you do celebrate New Year's Day 

by giving gifts, 

I'll take a Best Buy Gift Card!

Till next week, 

Ciao!

WARNING! DON'T BE A SHOPPING SUCKER!

1/2 off!   Save like never before!   

Take  50% off our already low prices!    

No one beats our prices!

Sound familiar?

Every store in the mall is vying for your dollars!  "We want, We want, We want your money!"

Okay, this time of year many of you are willing to part with it.  You're out there shopping like crazy!  

"Buy this, buy that, don't worry, someone will like it"

I can almost hear the bells chiming along:

"Spend Christmastime, merrily spend, 
                  buy everything, credit cards bend!"

But ... THERE IS EVIL PRESENT!!!!

Lurking on your receipts, you will find the nemesis of fair play.  It is there in plain sight, but most do not even think of looking for it.  Who would ever fool around during the most joyous season of the year?  No, not your friendly retail store that has all the sales going on ... they wouldn't dare!   

Or, would they?

Most states have laws on the books that make it illegal for a store to charge more for an item than it is priced on the shelf.  However, who will know if this act has taken place if they don't check their receipts?

Look at it this way.  You're at the mall.  You've spent hours shopping.  You're checking out at the register, but instead of watching or adding up the prices in your head, you're thinking about:

Why should I pay attention to what's on the receipt?
I've got so much to do!  It's only money!!!

1. How the hell you're going to get your car out of the cluster ____ of a parking lot outside
2. Who you still have to buy a pair of socks or some jockey underwear for as a gift  (*see Julie for suggestions)
3. What still needs to be wrapped at home before that joyous morning
4. The ass behind you with the crying kids that still want the package of Honey Boo Boo hair ribbons the mother has put back on the shelf three times
5. What your spouse is going to say when you tell them how much you've over spent on gifts
6. Or, quite possibly, what's taking the damn cashier so long because you've had to take a leak for the last 30 minutes and your bladder is about to explode!

The cashier tells you the amount due, you swipe your debit or credit card, get your receipt and grab your bags, and rush to escape the madness, or make it to the bathroom before you leave wet tracks on the floor.  (Fairly obvious when there's no rain or snow on the ground outside.)

Stores love these sort of emotional purchases and buying stress.  Why?  Because you don't check how much you were charged and find all the mistakes that just happened to be in the profit pocket of the retailer!

How dare you suggest we intentionally
mess with the prices around
Christmas Time!  That's only to pay
for the Christmas party we have.
We mess with it all year 'round!!

Now, many of you realize I embellish upon occasion, or use even nasty sarcasm to make a story funny.  It's what I do.  (If you enjoy it ... Great!  If you don't ... Sorry 'bout that!)  It's what I normally do.  

However, the following is an actual event and conversation that took place Tuesday.

I needed one item, some recordable DVD's.  (Yes, I still record DVD's of movies and documentaries on the non-commercial pay channels like HBO, MAX, STZ, SHO, TMC, etc.)   I drove to Big Lots, store #05125.  (I list the store # because I've already written to their home office about the incident.)  

Anyway, I walked to the DVD's, found a package of 50 with a shelf tagged price of $13.00, and took them to the register.  Like most stores, one register was open for over ten customers waiting.  Finally, another register opened as four more joined the line.  After a couple of checkouts, it was my turn.  Completing the ringing up of my item, the cashier saw the twenty in my hand (yes, I still use cash) and said, "Do you want me to take this out of the twenty?"

Now, normally, the price is given.  This time, it wasn't.  Automatically, I handed her the twenty.  She returned my change, a five and sixteen cents without counting, and said, "Merry Christmas!"  

I looked at the change and said, "How much did you charge me for these?"
Cashier:  "$14.00 plus tax is what they came up at."
Me:  "They're only $13.00 on the shelf."
Cashier:  "So."
Me:  "So, it's illegal to charge more for an item than what it's marked at on the shelf!"
Cashier:  "Don't worry about it.  It's only a dollar."
Me:  "That's right, it is ... MY dollar, not the store's."
Cashier:  "It's Christmas.  It's no big deal."
Me:  "I'm sure your corporate headquarters doesn't advertise to bring people in and then plan to steal from them.  I need to see a manager if you're not going to do what's right."
Cashier:  "Step over there and I'll get you one."

What does it take to stop the insanity of this cashier?
It's not that it's only a dollar, it's the principle of a store
stealing without any form of guilt involved!

So, I stepped to the area at the end of the register.  Immediately, the cashier took the next customer, and the next, and the next.  Finally, she turned around, saw me still there, turned back around shaking her head, and took the next customer.  

Ten minutes passed and she had not made the first move to get a manager.  Perhaps, she envisioned I would grow tired of the game and walk away.  I guess she's never dealt with one that has much more experience in life being an ass than she has!  (Not literally, of course, she had me beat there.  I don't think her tail had ever seen the light of day until she got the job she seemed to be totally enjoying!  Not trying to be crude, but she not only beeped when backing up, floodlights came on and a radar tower started turning!)

However, shall we say, "I'm beginning to get pissed!"  

When she finished with the customer, I stepped up to the counter and issued a strong, "Whoa!"

I continued, "You've ignored me for over ten minutes.  Now, you either get a damn manager up here, or I'm calling the police department and pressing charges against you for theft!  The gambit you've played is disgraceful and completely unacceptable to anyone with a hint of principle.  If you cherish your position, you'll listen to a person that is a District Manager for a national retail corporation and get your tail in gear ... now!"

I bought all this stuff and never once checked a
receipt.  I trust cashiers as they never make mistakes.
And, you know computers don't either!

Now, I'm no longer a DM, but she didn't know that.  Besides, it sounded like an intelligent statement to me!

She got on the phone, called to the back, and five minutes later a manager showed up.  Completely ignoring my presence, punched her code in the register, turned and walked away without a word.  No apology, no explanation, no nothing!  The cashier gave me my dollar and tax, and said, "I hope you're happy."

Needless to say, I returned the kindness of the store manager and cashier with an email to their corporate headquarters immediately.  Since I have yet to have a response received from them, all I can do is to envision the cashier getting an award for her tenacity to help out the company's profit margin.  ("And here's to the young lady that helped us to afford this year's Christmas and 4th of July get togethers!  Yay!!!!)

How dare you mess with my lunch
at Arbys!!!  Why, if I didn't give you
what you asked for, you'd keep the
stuff I wanted.  Why should I pay you
more than the marked price?

But, that's not all.

Wednesday, I went to Office Depot for some cd cases, as I'm making my son-in-law some mix cd's of some classic rock artists.  I went to the shelf, saw the price tag of $7.49, grabbed a package, and took them to the counter.  

Guess how much they stated I owed them?    
No, not $7.49 plus tax.  

$11.77!!!!   

This time, the cashier followed me to the rack, saw the tag and recognized that there was no way the cases should be priced that high, and corrected the pricing at the register.  This was done in less than two minutes.  However, if I had been thinking of something else, I would have given the store an extra couple of dollars.

Am I a cheapskate?  Damn straight!  Profit margins are already in the marked prices.  Anything over that is just additional money out of our pockets!  A dollar here, two dollars there, another one down the way, and you've given away lunch at Arbys!   (And the Lord knows I love my Bacon, Turkey, Ranch sandwiches from Arbys!)

Retailers, adding dollars to price lists in their computer
systems?  Why, they wouldn't do that ... would they?

Are retailers purposely marking items up in the computer?  Good question!  I have no proof, so to say so would be slander.  But, just think about this.  They know you're in a rush and not thinking about prices like you normally would as you're caught up in the season.  What better time for corporate to tell the price programmers for the registers to jack up the prices a dollar or two and certain items?  If they get caught, they'll simply say, "Oops" and change them back.  If they don't, it's profit!

So, beware of price changes that shouldn't change.  Look at your receipts, and give them hell when they try to say, "It's Christmas, don't worry about it!"

Or, if you wear your "Shopping Sucker" tag with pride, simply send all your extra, frivolous cash my direction and I'll say, "Thank You!"  

I'll even smile when I say it!  And, if you're not offended, I'll add, 

Merry Christmas!!

©Copyright RCRUMPLE2012. All Rights Reserved

I Wonder ...

I know I should be blogging more often.

I know that I'm on my last pack of cigarettes, by daughter's family is visiting tomorrow to celebrate Thanksgiving early since my wife has to work at the pharmacy that day, and that my college football team is currently getting beaten by Penn State.

Besides that, I just wonder.

I wonder how the Internal Revenue Service has 650 tax returns filed on dead people by one person, and gives out $19 million dollars in refunds to the same address without noticing?  Perhaps, if he would have only submitted 649, he could have gone unnoticed.

I wonder why it is important that a person (who hasn't had a hit record in 40 years) has it reported that she's dropping weight?  Huffpost finds it necessary to keep us updated on Marie Osmond, long after anyone really cares about Marie Osmond.  Obviously, someone there really likes the song "Paper Roses."   

I wonder why Coral Gardens, Florida has repealed a 50 year law stating that you couldn't park your pick-up truck in your driveway?  Actually, I wonder more about why that law ever was on the books?  I guess someone liked to look at pick-ups and couldn't see them as well in driveways as they could next to the curb.

I wonder why Baby Boomers tend to zero in on health problems at ages 50 and 65?  What's wrong with 49?  I've always been a fan of 90, but don't have much faith that I'll ever see it.  If I zero in on a problem now, I might miss being able to enjoy it later in life.  My wife's been a problem for years, but I've never zeroed in on her.  Well, maybe when we first got married.  Perhaps, I should start aiming again.  Damn, now I sound like a dirty old man.  Forget that thought.  I have.

I wonder how I missed that it was Target Practice Week for locomotive engineers.  After the one hit the Veterans float this week, one in Egypt just hit a school bus and forty-nine were killed.  Remind me to stay away from train tracks until the holiday ends.

I wonder why people are worried about the million dollar homes in New Jersey that are still in the dark?  If a person can afford a million dollar home, don't you think they could afford a generator or two?  I wonder more about those that can't afford a generator?  Are they all taken care of yet, or are all the power crews looking for the best deal on generators for the cheapskates in the million dollar homes?

I wonder how a Toronto Blue Jays baseball player can secure a $16 million dollar deal with the team and he has yet to return from a drug suspension?  For 1/16th of that, I'd be the team uniform washer, and they wouldn't even have to wait on me to be free of drugs.  I just have to remember, "Whites with whites and wash all colored clothes in cold water."  For a million bucks, I could learn that by heart!

I wonder how Congress can be wondering why there are fewer veterans serving in Congress than since before World War II?  It's easy!  One, more and more soldiers are dead before they become veterans! And two, how do you run a campaign on an enlisted man's paycheck?  These politicians really do live in a world of their own!

I wonder how Hostess went bankrupt?  Twinkies have been around for decades.  Now, they're no longer a part of Americana.  I went out at 3 a.m. this morning to see if I could find any.  Had to settle on Hostess Zingers and Cupcakes.  Not the same, but plan on giving them for Christmas gifts this year.  I know people will be disappointed they won't be getting their annual box of Twinkies from me, but it's the blame of the folks from Hostess, not me.

I wonder about scientists that study the brains of rappers and say they find a "relaxed executive" function there?  I've often wondered what made scientists think they'd find anything in the brains of rappers, or if they even had any to begin with?

And, I wonder if the world really is going to end before Christmas gets here?  I wonder if those, not lucky enough to get Hostess Zingers, will be upset if I tell them, "I didn't buy Christmas because the world was ending and I wanted to party before it did?"   

And, lastly, I wonder why I wonder?  

I guess that's what happens when you've nothing to write!

©Copyright RCRUMPLE2012. All Rights Reserved