Wednesday, January 8, 2014


With the demand for reality television programming greater than ever before, producers are constantly on the look out for ideas that will pull in audiences.  Since many have proven that the more stupid the show the more of an audience share it will pull in, here are some ideas for future evenings of non-thinking idiocy.

1)  Shoplifting for Dollars     
This show will give America's greatest shoplifters an opportunity to show their talents by dropping them off at an unknown department store and giving them twenty minutes to see what they can come out with.  Points will be given for size of items, value of items, and number of items.  Show will run season after season, giving men, women, children, and the elderly opportunities to participate.  Season champions will be allowed to keep all merchandise stolen, while all others will automatically be guest contestants on our next show.

2)  Police Department Tales From The Booking Desk     
This promises to be filled with violence, comedy and touching stories from those who don't believe the belong in jail.  See fights break out when drunks and meth users refuse to have fingers inked and pictures taken.  Hear celebrities bitch and moan about their celebrity immunity as their body cavities are searched by Bubba's with very thick and calloused fingers.  And, sit back and laugh as mugger after mugger pleads their innocence to public defenders who could care less about them.  From shoplifters to murderers, Police Department Tales From The Booking Desk promises to supply you with a thrill a minute, or at least one per episode.

3)  Wise Cracks / Butt Cracks      
"Big crack, Big crack, who has the biggest butt crack???"  Follow our butt crack expert, Harry Cheaks, as he surprises plumbers, cable installers, and Mexican roofers around the country to find out who has the biggest butt crack.  Entrants will be judged on size of crack, grossness of crack, and if any portion of the crack is covered by underwear or not.  An extra 50 points will be given if any of those selected are caught by the hidden camera scratching their ass while eating lunch or picking their noses.  

4)  Stalker Stalker, Where's The Stalker?    
Feel like you're being watched.  Well, you just might be!  Funny thing is it's not just one person doing the watching, but millions of viewers watching intensely.  The tension builds as we follow a stalker around the back of your house and film what really goes on inside of your bedroom.  Pull out the vibrators and put in new batteries as we guarantee we'll be right alongside your favorite stalker as they watch you pleasure yourself.  And, be careful what you're reading as you sit on the stool as we observe your habits from the bathroom window.  Whether it be "50 Shades of Gray" or "How to Increase Self Pleasure", be with us as we visit you in Sunday School and announce our findings in front of the entire congregation!  Could it be you this week?  Or, you?  Or, you?   Only your stalker knows for sure!

and last but not least ...

5)  Gyno Wino     
This promises a half hour of solid laughter as women go in for their gyno examinations and find a drunken doctor waiting.  Will they proceed or will they run?  Will they enjoy the hand that shakes incessantly, or will the feet leave the stirrups when wine douches are mentioned?  Sit down the kids and invite the neighbors to this weekly laugh fest.  But be careful.  You never know what doctor we'll be visiting next!  Shave, wax or go natural, just remember your neighbors will see you in a different light from this day forward!  

There are, of course, many other possibilities, but those may be posted in the future.  

Just remember, 

"Cameras are Everywhere!"