Saturday, August 30, 2014

Ten Things of Thankful ... The PG Edition (Okay, So I Gotta Do It Every Now And Then Before I Lose Those That Don't Like R Rated Material. Get Over It!)

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Funny how things always seem to go in cycles.

No, I'm not talking about the monthly curse that women have suffered since the beginning of time.  (Although I remember several times during my youth that I was exceptionally happy to hear that my girlfriend's had started.)

I'm talking about society for the most part.  

OMG, he's going to start another rant!

No, not this time.  I've let my viewpoints speak out many times.  I know that people don't like being called stupid (even though many are).  I'm also aware that people don't always like to look at the negatives that surround them everyday (even though they, too, love to bitch about them).  So, for now, I'm going to leave those topics alone and try to find humor in the world in which we reside (like we really have many other options to choose from).

I read this week that Global Warming was making a comeback tour. Global warming was a big thing for several years.  Then, after everyone blasted Al Gore's preachings, it seemed to leave us for a while. Then, some claimed it was all a hoax and a plan to get over on the public. But, now it's making a tremendous comeback!  

You never doubted it, did you?

It does seem true that there are an abundance of earthquakes these days. In addition, more and more serious storms, tornadoes and hurricanes, these days, and more temperature extremes seem to be a common news thread.  Just look at what the West Coast recently experienced!!!
There are even those that are predicting the end of days (I was always confused ... does the day end at 12:01 a.m., or does it have to be daylight before morning actually takes place?)  We all expect the giant pimple of lava underneath Yellowstone National Park to pop at any time, giving new purpose to Old Faithful as a new way to cook bear.  
So, what we were told existed, and then told never existed, is existing once more.  I figure this will last until at least the next elections.  Then, the incoming politicians can deny it happening ... again ... so we can get back to ignoring it while playing the role of plausible deniability.  

Of course, by then, we'll have the Giant Easter Bunny to deal with!!!!!

But, of course, the cycles continue!

Just like the Friday cycle of Ten Things of Thankful.  Lovely Lizzi and her tribe of thankful followers present this week's version right here _____.

Or, I should say here since you're already here and not there, until after you leave here, of course .. that is if you decide to go there, or not!  And, a horse is a horse, of course, or course ..

"Nuff said!"  Without further ado, let us venture into the deep dark recesses of my mind and get started with this week's offerings!

This week I'm thankful for:

1)  Tony Soprano.  Seven years after the final show, people are still debating what happened to the lead character after the screen left family sitting in the restaurant.  Did the stranger coming out of the bathroom kill all of them?  Did the family finish their meal and continue life in the same fashion they'd done for years?  Did a spaceship come out of the heavens, beam them up, and created a society based on "Family" concepts?   WHO CARES???

Folks, it's a television show.  It had enjoyed great ratings for many years, but they'd slumped due to a lousy dream sequence while Tony was recovering from a bullet wound.  So, decisions were made to end it.  It's time to get a life and move on to the next program.  There's hundred to choose from ... don't be picky!  By the way ... the actor who played Tony is dead ... dead!!!   For God's sake, let it end!  There won't be a follow up movie or a revival of cast members.  Eat your canola and shut up!

2)  True Blood finalie.  OMG!!!!!  Whatever are we going to do???  True Blood just showed its final episode this last Sunday night.  Talk about the suspense ... the irony ... the depression!!!  How will we be able to survive now that this stalwart of HBO programming will be no more??  And, how will we ever find out who Sookie married?  And, will her baby have fairy powers, too, or simply be a fairy?  

Hey ... Yeah, You ... Get A Life!

3)  Robin Williams.  How can I joke about the world's favorite funny man?  I want to, but nothing seems to come to mind.  Nor can I say anything that hasn't already been said, whether it was someone else or me.  I understand why he ended his life the way he did, I'm just extremely sorry he did it.  C'est le Vie, my friend!  You may be gone, but you'll never be forgotten.

4)  Syria.  Here's a country that supplied most of the 9/11 hijackers and has been a constant source of refuge for terrorists.  Now, terrorists are taking it over and doing to the populace what they've done all over the world for years!  Seems almost justified, doesn't it?

I hope that Isis and all other terror groups find a home there.  Gather them all together, send in the booze, get them drunk, and then blow the hell out of them with a deluge of well placed bombs.  And, please, don't tell me to forgive them for what they do.  Lining up unarmed individuals and shooting them from behind is a coward's act if I ever saw one.  It's kind of like those folks that like to talk big on the web, but when you confront them in real life, they back down so quick you can hardly see the blur.  Cowards!

Tell you what, Isis terrorists.  I know several folks here in Kentucky that would love to give you a fair and fighting chance.  Send us your top three leaders, arm them with a single pistol each, and meet these guys in the forests of Eastern Kentucky.  They'll be armed the same way.  After 48 hours, let's see who's still making moonshine and visiting real life virgins (Even if they are family members!).  

5)  Ice Bucket Challenge Participants.  I wish this craze would catch on with today's youth.  From the snipets I've witnessed so far, most of them don't remember to hold on to the bucket and drop it on the head of an unsuspecting youngster.  If this keeps up, some parent will be offended when their child sustains a neck injury, file legal suit against this practice, and make this completely illegal.  When this happens, the pages of Facebook and such will once again fill up with half clothed women and scare pranks, instead of the same old thing over and over again.  Btw, has anyone ever heard of donating via the United Way?
6)  Ever order multiple items on separate orders, pay for various shipping rates, and watch everything be packaged up and sent together?  Try it sometime.  When your "Two Day Shipping" doesn't arrive in two days because there's also the free shipping item contained in the shipment, call Amazon and bitch like crazy!  If you're a good enough actor, you might just find your next couple of shipments come to you much faster as you're credited with free, but 1 or 2 day, delivery!

7)  Wing Zone.  If this fast food delivery hasn't hit your area yet, you don't know what you're missing!  They have one of the best salads under the sun, as well as decent wings.  I always get the chicken tender salad with Thai Chicken hot sauce and add Blue Cheese dressing to it.  The Blue Cheese cools the heat, but it is simply smoldering under the creamy white topping.  For $7.29, you won't find a better salad.  Be careful, though.  I recently found myself shelling out $52 for my wife and I one night.  We had leftovers, but really, use restraint.  (But don't forget the damn salad!!!!!!!!)

8)  Tom Petty, Dave Mason, Jim Messina, and other music artists of decades ago.  Yep, these guys are still producing albums.  Some are decent and some are ... well, let's just say voices generally sound better earlier in life.  Be wary, you can find yourself getting hung up on downloading these artists, and going back and downloading their older albums that you never purchased with they were originally released.  Then, try explaining the $387 charges on your credit card to your spouse one evening.  "But honey, they were on sale.  Just look at all the money I saved!"   (Yeah, ladies, tell me you've never used that one before!)

9)  The Emmy Awards.  Gave me a reason to shut off regular TV and finally watch the Blu-Ray of "The Amazing Spiderman 2" while eating Wing Zone food.  If my wife had been out visiting my daughter, it would have been the perfect evening!

10)  Back To School Season.
"Yea, Yea, the kids are gone, 
the streets are clear the lines aren't long,  
Yea, Yea the bratty kids are gone." 
(Sung to "Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead")

I love kids, especially when I can't see them.  Behind locked doors of the schools is the best place for them.  They can finally absorb the low quality education that our government has decided they learn to ensure no child gets ahead.  Now, adults can go to Best Buy and look at the newest video games without being under the scrutiny of these underage seekers of superiority looking for easy prey to defeat online.  "Back, Back to your studies and sexting scandals.  Leave us adults alone!!!!"

That's going to do it for this week's Ten Things Of Thankful.  I did my best to stay away from politics and the world at war, only slipping up once or twice.  (Damn, I'm glad that's over!)  Check out my next posting (Who the hell knows when that will be.), and be sure to visit all the rest of the Ten Things Of Thankful posts for some real thankfulness.