Saturday, November 17, 2012

I Wonder ...

I know I should be blogging more often.

I know that I'm on my last pack of cigarettes, by daughter's family is visiting tomorrow to celebrate Thanksgiving early since my wife has to work at the pharmacy that day, and that my college football team is currently getting beaten by Penn State.

Besides that, I just wonder.

I wonder how the Internal Revenue Service has 650 tax returns filed on dead people by one person, and gives out $19 million dollars in refunds to the same address without noticing?  Perhaps, if he would have only submitted 649, he could have gone unnoticed.

I wonder why it is important that a person (who hasn't had a hit record in 40 years) has it reported that she's dropping weight?  Huffpost finds it necessary to keep us updated on Marie Osmond, long after anyone really cares about Marie Osmond.  Obviously, someone there really likes the song "Paper Roses."   

I wonder why Coral Gardens, Florida has repealed a 50 year law stating that you couldn't park your pick-up truck in your driveway?  Actually, I wonder more about why that law ever was on the books?  I guess someone liked to look at pick-ups and couldn't see them as well in driveways as they could next to the curb.

I wonder why Baby Boomers tend to zero in on health problems at ages 50 and 65?  What's wrong with 49?  I've always been a fan of 90, but don't have much faith that I'll ever see it.  If I zero in on a problem now, I might miss being able to enjoy it later in life.  My wife's been a problem for years, but I've never zeroed in on her.  Well, maybe when we first got married.  Perhaps, I should start aiming again.  Damn, now I sound like a dirty old man.  Forget that thought.  I have.

I wonder how I missed that it was Target Practice Week for locomotive engineers.  After the one hit the Veterans float this week, one in Egypt just hit a school bus and forty-nine were killed.  Remind me to stay away from train tracks until the holiday ends.

I wonder why people are worried about the million dollar homes in New Jersey that are still in the dark?  If a person can afford a million dollar home, don't you think they could afford a generator or two?  I wonder more about those that can't afford a generator?  Are they all taken care of yet, or are all the power crews looking for the best deal on generators for the cheapskates in the million dollar homes?

I wonder how a Toronto Blue Jays baseball player can secure a $16 million dollar deal with the team and he has yet to return from a drug suspension?  For 1/16th of that, I'd be the team uniform washer, and they wouldn't even have to wait on me to be free of drugs.  I just have to remember, "Whites with whites and wash all colored clothes in cold water."  For a million bucks, I could learn that by heart!

I wonder how Congress can be wondering why there are fewer veterans serving in Congress than since before World War II?  It's easy!  One, more and more soldiers are dead before they become veterans! And two, how do you run a campaign on an enlisted man's paycheck?  These politicians really do live in a world of their own!

I wonder how Hostess went bankrupt?  Twinkies have been around for decades.  Now, they're no longer a part of Americana.  I went out at 3 a.m. this morning to see if I could find any.  Had to settle on Hostess Zingers and Cupcakes.  Not the same, but plan on giving them for Christmas gifts this year.  I know people will be disappointed they won't be getting their annual box of Twinkies from me, but it's the blame of the folks from Hostess, not me.

I wonder about scientists that study the brains of rappers and say they find a "relaxed executive" function there?  I've often wondered what made scientists think they'd find anything in the brains of rappers, or if they even had any to begin with?

And, I wonder if the world really is going to end before Christmas gets here?  I wonder if those, not lucky enough to get Hostess Zingers, will be upset if I tell them, "I didn't buy Christmas because the world was ending and I wanted to party before it did?"   

And, lastly, I wonder why I wonder?  

I guess that's what happens when you've nothing to write!

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