Friday, January 3, 2014

Ten Things Of Thankful: Holidays Are Over!

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The holidays are over 
for another year!  

Hip, Hip, Hooray!

(Now, Wal-Mart shoppers will have to wait another eleven and a half months to rip each others heads off in fits of shopping passion.  One would think we'd have come up with a better form of population control by now, wouldn't one?)

Our excuses to pig out on sweets and fatty foods have worn thin, unlike the waist size increase we exhibit.  Old acquaintances are not forgotten, but only lie in wait to attack us by surprise in the New Year.  And, possibly the most fearful of all, Lizzi and all the other hosts expect us to continue this Ten Things Of Thankful post as if new and wonderful items have appeared under the tree to keep us from looking like the stuttering fools many of us are.

(N-n-n-no pr-problem, Lizzi!  
Virginia got Santa to leave a bunch of new thoughts and delicacies to post ... NOT!)

So, as I end my vacation hiatus and return to the rank and file, let us begin the listing of this week's


"I'm thankful for ...."

1)  ... the ending of the holiday season, also known as the worst time of the year to be a diabetic.  The endless offerings of fudge, candy, and pastries provide sadists the opportunity to see you squirm with each denial of their so called holiday spirit provisions.  I only gave in one time to a solitary piece of peanut butter fudge, and must admit, didn't find it as tasty as I was promised.  Perhaps my taste buds are simply getting old and finding it harder to enjoy the finer things in life.  (Or, perhaps the maker of the fudge didn't really know what she was doing and sucked at making fudge!)

"Where's My Ear & Nose?!?!?!?"
2)  ... cheaply made cat toys.  Faletame and Gabriela had a complete ball ripping apart the Chinese offerings of fluffy stuffed animals and weird, geometric shaped catnip toys.  It took them all of twenty minutes to waste the ten dollars I spent on providing them with items to claw and shred besides the back of a one year old love seat they've favored as of late.

3)  ... $19 a month.  Recently, I've learned that if I send $19 a month to the ASPCA or to the Wounded Warrior Program, I can either save the life of a pet or help the life of a vet.  I'm still trying to figure out where this money actually goes to, and why both groups came up with the same monetary amount.  Either it doesn't take as much to help vets as our government would want us to believe, or someone feels as though an animal deserves the same treatment as a handicapped hero.  Then, there's always a third option that it's the same group collecting the donations and laughing all the way to the bank as they bilk the public of cash.  (Bernie Madoff is still in jail isn't he?)

4)  ... the right to bear arms.  Okay, I know it’s controversial, but have someone try to kick in your home’s back door and see if you don’t feel a little better knowing you have something with which to defend yourself .  Since our attempted break-in, neither my wife nor I feel completely secure in the house.  There are crazy people in this world who don’t give a damn about people doing their best to earn a living the honest way.  With home invasions on the rise, older folks need some way to even up the odds.  They’re to be used only as a last resort, but better to be around to endure the consequences than to become a cold case statistic.

5)  ... long underwear bottoms.  If it weren’t for them, what else would my wife come up with to buy me for Christmas?  Skittles?

6)  ... Carrie Underwood.  Her performance (though not terrible) in the television version of “The Sound Of Music” reminded me how wonderful Julie Andrews was in the lead role.  Stick to Country Music, Carrie!  (At least they didn’t cast Miley Cyrus in the role.  I just can‘t visualize a foam fingered, twerking nun rollicking with giant Teddy Bears!)

7)  ... television screen weather notifications.  Decades ago, one looked out of the window to see what the weather was doing.  Today, local weather forecasters are so full of themselves that they not only interrupt programming with useless bulletins, they take up the bottom quarter of the screen filled with a rolling warning of what counties will be affected.  Folks, snow is snow.  It’s not the end of the world.  Besides, most all of us have weather alerts programmed into our cell phones, so cease the ridiculous crap!  (Oh, and some of us still look out the window!)

8)  ... Office Depot.  Okay, I know this is the second time I’ve bragged about them, but they deserve it.  Saturday evening, I entered their store to find them out of the 100 pks of CD-R’s they’d advertised at a reduced price.  They ordered them in and delivered them to my house by Tuesday.  If our government was only as efficient as Office Depot, we’d be having our income tax refunds sent back to us by overnight mail!  (Hahahahahahahahaha .... like that would ever happen!) 

9)  ... President Obama.  No, I’m not changing my views about politicians (better known as liars, cheats & thieves).  Seems some 1000+ people voted in a Gallup Poll and are proclaiming Obama to be the Most Admired Man in the World.  Obama came out with 16% of the vote, putting him atop the list.  Of course, that meant that 84% of the people voted for someone else, and he wins by default!  

In my humble opinion, no politician should be the most admired man in the world.  That’s like saying it’s okay to lie, steal and cheat the voters while you cater to the whims of the corporations that contributed to your campaign!  I’d like to know where the Gallup Poll was taken and what were the positions of those voting. 

Another scary thing was that George W. Bush came in second.  Are we really that sad a society that we look to scam artists and system abusers to admire?  (On the other hand, A&E reports great ratings on its two night/ two part broadcast of “Bonnie & Clyde!”)

(Okay, before I get to Number 10, let me fill you in on something.  Today, at work, I miraculously won a 60" Samsung LED Smart Television valued at $1799.  And I never win anything!!!!

Until today, I've been fairly down and out for luck at work the last two months.  So much so, Thursday night, when I wrote most of this, my next entry was Number 4 on the list.  However, after today's changing of luck, and, in finding out that I actually did make enough at work last month to pay my bills, I'm wondering how prevalent it really is.  Whether you believe or not, one thing's for sure, the strangest things happen at the strangest times.)

10)  ... my religious upbringing.  Having participated in Catholic, Baptist, Presbyterian, and Pentecostal Holiness churches when I was young, I have to say environmental conditioning has formed a belief in God within my psyche.  Still, as there is no sanity in the trials and tribulations that I and many I know have been dealt over the last few years (decades), I have to either consider God to be on an extended vacation, or just sitting on the golden throne watching Duck Dynasty with a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door.

After today's change of luck, I may have to retract Number 10!

And that’s it!  Another episode of Ten Things Of Thankful complete!  

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Until next time,