Friday, February 19, 2016

Mountain Man Cave, the Pope, Donald Trump, Kanye & TTOT

I want to buy a mountain that has an elaborate cave system.

This isn't something that I've thought a lot about.  In fact, the idea just came to me.

Envision entering a cave in this mountain and discovering a sizable combination of underground passages that open up into chamber areas, each of which, could be used as different rooms.  Preferably, a fresh water spring would be found flowing throughout the system, taking care of life's necessities (drinking, cooking, washing, sewage, etc.) Of course, arranging these properly in the right order would be a must.  (Bathrooms would definitely be the closest to the door and the cave's drainage system!)

This could become my Fortress of Mental Solitude.  I'd spend my days reading and writing, exploring the tunnel system, and creating a map of the world inside of the mountain. (Okay, so that's just an excuse to get away from my wife every now and then!  You try staying in a cave with her 24/7 if you think it's so damn easy!)  With the underground temperature always being constant, it would be simple to create a "warm" area with a solar heating system piped in from outside.  

Heating system? 

Of course!  One would just have to be careful not to dry out the dirt holding all the stone in place.  Too dry and the whole thing could tumbling down!  (Think of what that would do to property values!)

I've lived too long with the luxuries of civilization to become some old hermit scrounging through the dirt and living like a caveman.  What better area to have a constant breeze than atop a mountain pass?  (Especially since the Senate Chamber only has stagnant hot air!) This could easily power an electricity generation windmill.  Using storage batteries and generators, standard power could be utilized to provide all the comforts found in more conventional styles of homes.  

Bring in the appliances and wide screen televisions ... satellite dishes are always available for the asking.  (The wife has to have her porn, you know!)

An area could have a pool table, video game area, and bar (just in case I ever decided to take up drinking.)  Another area could be for music enjoyment and mixing. (Imagine the acoustics!)  Still another could house a swimming pool, hot tub and fireplace.  And, if I can locate it in the right state, let's not forget about the marijuana grow room!  (The hell with drinking!  Bring on the smoke and a fifty pound bag of Oreo cookies!)

Of course, security would be a must.  Since I'd probably be too high to make valid decisions, a six inch thick steel door would allow those invited (hookers, mostly) entry while keeping those unwanted pests outside.  This could also come in very handy for eliminating frustrating conversations with salespersons, religious fanatics, and political campaigners.  Perhaps a slot for a machine gun turret would be a viable feature to assist this, especially with the politicians.

Damn, I think I just purchased the Playboy Mansion, 
complete with the grotto and Hugh Hefner!
Naw, I hear it's still haunted by the ghost of Joe DiMaggio!

Of course, affording a purchase of this nature is going to take funding.  So, I'm announcing a non profit organization entitled, "Let's Put Rich In The Ground."  Contributions can be sent to the address below.  And, if you've a solitary heart in your body, how could you refuse to put Rich in the ground?  It just seems like the Christian thing to do!  

So, while I'm awaiting your contributions to start flowing in, let's take a look at why you're really here and go to this week's edition of

This week, I'm Thankful For ...

1) ... Kanye West.  Let's see, he ranted at Saturday Night Live after his special floor couldn't be used because of lighting issues, has recently renewed his attack and made several negative and profane statements about Taylor Swift, and he's also stated that he's broke and needs to borrow a million or so dollars from Mark Zuckerberg.

You gotta give it to him, he sure knows how to prove that America's 
education system is creating the land of the dumb and the home 
of the ridiculous.  But, then again, when you have an internal need to 
prove you're as big as ass as your wife's, you live up to all expectations!

2) ... Pope Francis in announcing that using condoms is "okay" in countries where the Zika virus is spreading.  In looking at abortions as the other alternative, the Pope figured that it would be easier to pass out condoms in Catholic schools than to have the school's buses seen parked outside of abortion clinics.  

Okay, so I was born Catholic, saved by the Baptists, and fine tuned by the Pentecostal Holiness.  It meant I could go out and get totally drunk without feeling guilty about it until the next day when I could repent in a tongue that no one could understand!

Whatever happened to abstinence?  
Didn't the church once preach that? 
 Oh, that's right ... that's one of those forgotten concepts like eating 
fish on Friday, speaking only in Latin, and letting Michael Corleone
 be your sister's godfather.  
My bad!

3) ... Pope Francis calls out Donald Trump's views on immigration as not Christian!  In retaliation, Donald Trump calls the Pope's comments "disgraceful" as far as judging his faith.  In addition, Trump made comments about the Vatican falling to ISIS and then the pope would wish he'd have seen things differently.

Damn, I don't know much about the fighters here, but I do know that 
the pope has a great corner and cut man.  Donald, pretend you're
 not Kanye and shut up and go sit in a corner!

Besides, Donald, if past popes had pushed condom usage decades ago, 
you might not be around!  Hell, neither would Kanye!  

I'm beginning to like this guy!

4) ... The Grammy Awards were held this week.  Mostly, they were ignored by those that still held onto a thread of intelligence.  However, Natalie Cole's family were shocked and are making a public complaint over the fact that Natalie didn't have the tribute given her career that other "passed away" artists did.  

Natalie, being dead, couldn't be reached for comment.

Maybe they should contact Pope Francis to see if she's sent them a message.

5) ... French could become the most commonly spoken language in the world by 2050.  Right now, this is the order of most spoken languages:

  1. Arabic
  2. Hindu
  3. Spanish
  4. English
  5. Mandarin Chinese
  6. French
However, due to a boom in African nations speaking French, it may only be a matter of thirty years or so before it becomes the most common language in the world.

Tell me that's not going to piss off Donald Trump!
By the way, Kanye, can you rap in French?

I think I see the pope laughing right about now.

6) ... film showing Presidential 
hopeful, Senator Bernie Sanders, being arrested.  You can always depend on film makers to help out when it's needed.  Fifty-three years ago, Bernie was arrested protesting for civil rights.  A film of this arrest is making its way around the Internet in hopes of destroying his chances for the campaigned position.

Now, if you're an adult, I'd like to ask you one question.

"Did you ever see something so wrong that
 you'd put yourself in a position of being 
arrested to attempt to change it?"

There were many of us that protested and marched in hopes of righting the wrong of civil rights.  We put ourselves on the front lines to bring about an awareness that things needed to change.  Being arrested was not the worst thing that could happen.  Being murdered by those that opposed civil rights was much worse.

I'm not a "Bernie" fan, nor do I support any politician in office today.  Our system doesn't allow for the "best" to reach public office, only those who find, or are born with silver spoons.  Where it's common knowledge that our last President was somewhat "wild" during his youth, I don't see any disgrace in the "arrest" film of Bernie.  In fact, I think more of the man than I did before knowing that before he was a part of the American political machine, there might actually been a shred of common decency in the man.

And that, for any politician, is one hell of a rare thing!

7) ... Texas approves concealed carry laws for public college campuses.  As of August 1, 2016, anyone enrolled in a public university that is over 21 years of age and has passed all qualifications for a concealed carry permit will be allowed to carry weapons anywhere on campus.  This act is in hopes of stopping acts of violence by providing a known barrier of resistance to anyone considering a heinous act.  

Since parents have constantly failed in their responsibilities to teach, 
or allow their children to be taught right from wrong, we are now reaching the crossroads where laws like this one are beginning to sound like good ideas.  

The premise that criminals always seek the easy target takes public 
universities out of the sights of those wanting to maximize their killing 
efforts and minimize their chances of being blown away by gun toting 
students.  Of course, as colleges lead the way, it won't be long before 
grade schools follow their lead.  And, let us not forget those in 
pre-school institutions.  Why, even day care centers will have 
three-year-olds armed before you know it!

We live in a violent society.  We've made our bed with parental 
permissiveness, political nurturing of pre-teen childbirth, and a removal 
of any type of spiritual guidance or rules to follow.  We have youths 
attacking a military vet at McDonald's this week in the name of 
"Black Lives Matter", ISIS feeding as much propaganda to our 
youth as our government does, and leaders of the land ignore 
the violence and bark like dogs on television.

Perhaps, this is the answer.  Just remind me to stay away from any 
college frat keg parties from now on in the state of Texas.  

It will be a shame when "Remember the Alamo" becomes "Remember Tom, 
or Judy, or Shemika, or ...", or any other college kid that is killed 
by bullets that never should have been fired.

Society needs to seriously take a strong look in the mirror.

8) ... Hollywood Presbyterian Medical Center computers taken over by hackers!  No fear, the hospital paid a $17,000 ransom and all was fine.

Let's see, you hack into a hospital computer system, encrypt all records, 
and only ask for $17,000 ransom to make things right again.  Sounds like 
a teenager who needs a car for college to me!

9)  ... Len Goodman will be returning as a judge to Dancing With The Stars.  That means Julianne Hough hits the road and says "Bye-Bye" to her position there.

Sorry, but all I can say is, 



"I wonder how the Pope feels about this?"

10) ... 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time.  The Rolling Stone magazine has put out their latest listing of great guitarists.  Many will debate it, I'm sure, but the top three are as good a picks as any.

#3 - Jimmy Page 
#2 - Eric Clapton 
#1 - Jimi Hendrix

So, until next week, 

Keep On Rocking!!!!!