Monday, September 23, 2013

Twisted Mix Tape #26: Slow Jams & Afternoon Wine

Wow!  When I first read what the topic (or "theme" if you will) was going to be for this week, I felt as thought I had to participate, again.  My problem was going to be finding the music on Youtube that I knew could best suit this.  

No, I don't think 
I'm something special ...
just damn eclectic!

There's just so much great music out there hiding in the wings that has never touched Youtube.  I'm not talking the typical Pop crap that fills the airwaves of today.  (If you have no mind and are 13 years old, then you're excused for liking it.)  This music is programmed by producers, tone corrected by machines, and put out to the cattle fed masses that don't feel the need to expose themselves to some real class acts.

No, I'm talking about some of the tunes you normally won't hear.  Tunes that you search for, and once you find and fall in love with them, you never want to be without a copy in your collection ... or maybe, two, just in case something happens to the first!

Like you don't have kids, pets, or friends that could care less about your collection.  "No, Dude, you can't borrow that ... let me make you a copy!"

For fear of not being able to find some of the above types, I'm going to stick with some of the more popular of the past.  These may bring back memories, and then again, may be new experiences for you.  There is no chronological order here, nor specific time period. 

 So, let's grab a glass of wine and jump about as two lovers would 
on a first date.  It's time to experience ear bliss.  

About a decade or so ago, I was turned on to a beautiful blond with a voice so sultry it could curl the beard of a billy goat.  Then I found out she was married and it broke my heart.  Especially, when I found out her husband was Elvis Costello!

Diana Krall makes my insides mushy and my libido stand tall.  She has the ability to take a song that's been done before, and make it sound as though you've never heard it.  Such is the case with my first example of a great slow jam ... "S'Wonderful!"
Okay, back in the late 70's, there was a band that knew how to play music.  I will admit, I wasn't a fan of disco at the time.  In fact, I worked at a radio station where we would break disco singles in half on the air!  So, to me, this was a dance, or disco band that I had no desire to explore further.  Little did I know that they really could play some great jazz and put together one hell of a slow jam.

Earth, Wind & Fire hit the charts with all types of music.  I finally gave in and saw them in concert.  (Talk about a show filled with pure energy from start to finish.)  Out of that entire evening, one particular song stuck with me, and still does to this day.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did then, and still do today.  Here's "Reasons!"
Staying with the R&B vein for a moment, there was once a bass player with a 60's band that finally said, "Where'd the band go?"  Sly & the Family Stone was one of the biggest groups to break the color barrier and be played on all types of radio stations.  A funky sound, controversial lyrics, and a beat that would drive an overweight, grocery store, flip-flop shuffler to mach 3 speed!  A major part of the beat was, of course, created by the original bass player I began to talk about at the beginning of this paragraph.

(Yes, I do ramble at times!  Hang in there, the music will be worth it.)

Larry Graham formed his own band when the Family Stone divorced itself from the music industry.  He called it, "Graham Central Station."  Perhaps, even though it hit the pop charts of the early 80's, this song can be considered one of their best, as well as one of the all time best slow jams ever recorded.  Yep, here's "One In A Million You."
Ever wonder how many babies were conceived to that one?

Now I'm pumped!  I just looked on Youtube for a very special video an found it!  There was a very exceptional CD that came out years ago that branched the roots of country and soul into a tree of blossoming tunes just waiting for exhibition.  What!?!?!?  Country and Soul ... TOGETHER???  You're going to be amazed at how wonderful this combination worked out if you'll only give this song a chance.  It features two superstars: Conway Twitty and Sam Cooke! I know, the idea is mind blowing.  Still, the combination of the two on this classic song works so well, you wonder why more albums of this nature never hit the stands.  Sit back and enjoy this great song "Rainy Night In Georgia!"
Love ... the essence of a true slow jam ... and what better song to describe this essence than the one you're about to listen to ... hopefully.  Yes, it hit the pop charts, and the R&B charts, and just about every chart that it could possibly fit ... and even some that it didn't.  As the world fell in love to Celine Dion's hit from "Titanic" (which we won't include or even name here ... "You're welcome!"), it was nothing like the number of lovers singing passionately to each other in shopping malls, along boardwalks, and, of course, in the front (and back) seats of cars as it played endlessly on the radio.
Here's Diana Ross and Lionel Richie with "Endless Love."
One of the greatest love songs of all times, and also one hell of a slow jam, came out during my senior high school year in the early 70's.  Roberta Flack was a young singer that was compared to the softness and grace of Diana Ross, but with the overall power of Aretha Franklin.  The difference was that Roberta Flack made you feel the song in your soul.  It wasn't just a tune and words, it was an experience that you never wanted to end.  Here's the best of Roberta in a song written in 1957 by Ewan McCall, but never heard this way until she did it in 1972, "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face."
Okay, I have to do it.  I've tried to restrain myself, but I've got to include a jazz tune here.  And, to make matters worse, this is off an album that was only released a couple of weeks ago.  The album's name is "The Chill Lounge", and was performed by Paul Hardcastle.  Now, Paul made his jump to fame back in the early 90's with the pop song "Nineteen", which concerned itself with the average age of a soldier in Vietnam, versus those of other wars.  It was a catchy tune, and I figured him to be a one hit wonder, or at best, a member of the techno dance crowd.  Okay, I'll admit it, I was far from right.  Paul has become one hell of a jazz musician.  Take a listen to this tune, "Moments In Time" and relax ... or, as Paul would tell you, 
"Chill a Little!"
So, our time together has ended.  The wine bottle is empty, the music has stopped, and the afternoon is fading into evening shadows.  Our spouses will be home soon.  Time to clean up the remaining cheese ball and cracker crumbs and prepare for an evening of reality television.

Or, will you share these tunes 
(and the rest of the cheese and crackers) 
with your spouse?

Promises to be a good evening, doesn't it?

Friday, September 13, 2013

FTSF: B.F.D. and Teenagers In Summer

It's been a busy week! 

Like that's 
something new.

Actually, I've been busy in the blogging world this week.  This will make the third blog in four days.  For me, that's a record.

Sure, and next I'm going to swim from Cuba to the U.S.
 at Mach 6 speed.

In addition, I've worked 50 hours in four days at my day job (a must since this doesn't pay worth a crap since I'm against advertising my blog to death).  In other words, "I'm quickly trying to burn myself out even faster this time!"

As if there was a mind to burn out!

Have you ever wondered about the phrase, "Burn Out?"  If something "burns out" doesn't it mean that it's done burning?  And, if it is done burning, wouldn't it be ash?  And, if it's ash, there would be no way to get it burning again, would there?  So, given that thought pattern, if a person went through "Burn Out" once, and their brain turned to ash, how could they ever start thinking again?  Of course ... they couldn't!  So, isn't "Burn Out" a little too extreme to describe a weariness of the basic thought system?  Perhaps, instead of "Burn Out", we could call it "Brain Function Disease", or B.F.D.   So, in reality, it's really no B.F.D. to have B.F.D. because sooner or later, we'll all go through it and be cured!  See, it's really not a B.F.D. after all!

So, now you know all about Brain Function Disease!


What is a B.F.D. is that it is once again FTSF!  Yep, Finish The Sentence Friday comes around every Friday thanks to our kind hostesses listed below with the rules of the FTSF.
And, this really is a B.F.D!

This week, the prompt we are to follow, or finish if you will, is:

"My best summertime memory this year was ..."

So, here we go once again!

My best summertime memory this year was remembering summers of my youth.  

What?  Are you crazy, Rich?  What about this year?

Dogs and Boys ... the only
difference is what they
grow up to hump!
Actually, this year has been a nightmare.  Days off are things of the past and 11-12 hour days have replaced time off.  Can't complain about the money as the bills are being paid and my cd collection continues to grow.  Still, there just hasn't been any free time to do any of the normal things one would consider doing during summer.

So, I reminisce.  

I think about the summers of my youth.  The friends that played baseball and football and basketball from morning to evening darkness without somehow suffering from heat exhaustion.  Sitting with my dog discussing all the secrets of the universe as his fleas found new feasting ground on my legs.  Going to the lake every Sunday and returning home sunburned and blistered as I never tanned as most, confirming my beliefs that I was from a different planet whose sole purpose was to figure out what in the hell an anal probe was, and luckily, never finding out!  

As I grew into my teenage years, the yearnings of female flesh entered the picture.  What better way to view the ever changing bodies of my female classmates than looking down upon them from a lifeguard stand at a pool?  Forever the cry, "Bikini's Forever" will be close to my hard heart!  And, when finally given consent to proceed to the ultimate goal, how quickly the teenage memories flash by.  (Funny, I seem to remember my partner saying the same thing!)

Summertime was a time to ignore haircuts, letting the locks grow well beyond the coach's restrictions.  To feel the wind blowing through them was a sign that freedom was mine.  That is, as least until football season practices began.  Driving around town in my own car listening to the sounds of Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Jefferson Airplane, James Taylor, Carole King drew stares and frowns from my elders at stop lights, especially when they heard Frank Zappa talking about the "Steamy hot succulent drippy runny gooey ever widening type of a hole that gets off being ..." well, anyway, Zappa wasn't for everyone!

We did it then, why aren't they
doing it now?
After high school, the demonstrations for equal rights and peace started taking up my days.  It seemed that we were always marching against something that was so wrong, yet, so right in the eyes of adults.  We weren't afraid of speaking out loud for what we felt was right in our hearts, but were afraid of jail and would run like cheetahs when the pigs cops arrived to break it up.  By the way, jumping out of a first floor building window on campus that's being stormed by the authorities is a lot higher jump than you'd imagine, especially when wearing sandals!

And, who could ever forget the summer nights at the drive in theater with the one you were ready to spend your whole life with.  We became experts at getting off bra's without removing tops so that access would be much easier as the evening progressed.  Still, we were human and did get tired.  Have you ever had to explain to a girlfriend's parents how you fell asleep during The Ten Commandments and didn't get her home until two in the morning?  

This year's summer event?  I guess you might say going up to Indiana and trying to make a day of laughter for my Stepmother that won't be around much longer.  She doesn't smile much anymore as her memories are leaving her one by one.  She may have already forgotten my visit, but at least I know she enjoyed the day while I was there.  Bringing a smile is the best feeling one can have.  

I hope you found one creeping out while you read this, too!

Now, want to know how to do the bra trick?

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Days of Whine and Posers ... Today's Life with Government in the United States!

Today, I find I must speak out.  
The Old Grand Flag,
She Ain't What She Used To Be.

No, I'm not a God or anything, just one that observes what others choose to ignore.

And, "Yes", I know I'm known for humor and sarcasm in this blog.  Still, if you'll bear with me, you'll find there might be a little something to get you thinking.

I know, there's one or two saying, "What?  Think?  Why, if I wanted to think, I'd watch Jeopardy!"

Anyway, I recently viewed a video of President Obama being ignored by politicians in Russia.  Each time the President offered his hand for a handshake, the politicians looked another direction and completely ignored him.  (Some say one video disputes this, but it cuts off way before the snubs began.  It is being pushed by the Democratic Party and Obama supporters.  The second video clearly shows the snubs and cannot be debated.)
No, this wasn't a call for the NAACP to get involved, so keep Jesse Jackson 
and Al Sharpton quiet for a change.

Instead, this was a signal of two things: 1) Obama's attempts to validate a Syrian bombing policy wasn't a popular idea the world over, and 2) respect for the President of the United States, and the country he represents, has finally hit an all-time low the world over.
And you thought you were the only one that felt things 
were on the downward trend in the states!

Politician's, the world over, are weasels, scam artists, users, abusers, and criminals.  They legalize what will profit them and over tax things that the common man (or woman) needs or uses on a constant basis.  As there is no honor among thieves, there is no honor among the backstabbing that politicians habitually exhibit.  In fact, at least the thieves are honest enough to admit they are thieves, while the politicians try to represent themselves as caring, loving, honest representatives of the common person, all the time only representing the interests of big business. Yet, even knowing this, the general populace allows these self-serving criminals to call themselves "Our Leaders."

Doesn't speak much for our intelligence or self respect, does it?
May 4th, 1970, Four Dead At Kent State
University protesting the war and
government actions.  This was one of
the big events that changed many
attitudes towards the leaders and
government of the day.

In the 60's, young Americans stood tall against the political machine of the day.  They called out their actions aimed at profiting big business from the Vietnam acts of aggression in which thousands of our brave friends fought and died for concepts and ideals that the politicians only used to get rich from.  Where is the youth of today when the need is just as great?

That's right, they're more concerned about video games, internet social networks, and gossip about MTV performances and such.    
Glad they have their priorities right!

They, and most others, have taken for granted that there is no battle to be fought.  Of course, laws that now prohibit protesting within miles of conventions, meetings, and certain government and corporate addresses now make things a little more difficult.  This is only one of the ways the government has decided that they can ignore the people by not seeing the people.

Funny how they can ignore them for three years, and then expect all of them to come out to vote and see them campaign during the fourth, isn't it?

Politicians have legalized graft by now calling it "special interest contributions." 
(We could call it bribery, but then we'd be guilty of slandering a public official.)   

They are in the process of eliminating labor unions by making them illegal state by state. 
(Big business loves this so they can continue to screw over the common man without any retaliation whatsoever!)   

They're taking away the right to protest by limiting where protests can be held and if a permit will be issued. 
(The KGB did this in the old USSR and American politicians screamed against communistic practices.  So, now it's okay?)  

Privacy has been breached by the NSA in so many ways they can't be counted. 
(Okay, so do we need another KGB example?)  

Even the right to a speedy trial has been forfeited in the name of "terrorism." 
(World War II prisoners were imprisoned for up to four years and we thought it an atrocity.  Guantanamo Bay, Cuba prison facilities have been in existence since 2002.  Will they forever be imprisoned?  There comes a time to realize there's ten times that many free that hate America even more because of our treatment to their countrymen.  Are we breeding future terrorists by our actions?") 

What excuses will they use next to take away more of your rights?

In answering that question, let's remember some of the individual rights and items that have been under attack by politicians in the last decade:
  1. Smoking
  2. Gun Ownership
  3. 20 oz. and greater soft drinks
  4. Right to protest
  5. Right of individual privacy
  6. Labor Unions
  7. Exotic Pet ownership
  8. Pit Bull ownership
  9. Internet downloading
            ... and many others

Notice how all of these items listed will protect either 
big business or the government?  

Eliminate the smoking and insurance companies benefit from high premiums and less payouts.  Eliminate the guns and the government has no fear to create a military state. Eliminate the large sized soft drinks and, again, health insurance companies prosper, as well as the government from the additional sales tax collected on multiple smaller sizes. Eliminate the right to protest and accept it ... or else.  Eliminate the privacy and the NSA can go crazy with witch hunts.  Eliminate the labor unions and big business can keep wages low without fear.  Eliminate the Exotic Pets and eliminate the chance of governments being sued for liabilities in accidents.  Same with Pit Bulls.  Eliminate the Internet downloading and let big business reap the profits in a pay per view world.

Where does the little guy fit in?  Where is the little guy represented?  

It's time to stand up to government.  

Can you imagine an election where no one votes?  Oh, there would be some loyalists that would make money off of the candidates and would vote, but what if there was a 98% drop in the overall voting count.  Would that send a message to the government that things were being seen, not ignored?
Maybe it's time for the eagle to crap
on the heads of the  self-serving politicians that
have forgotten what they were
elected to do!

What if we stopped buying products that weren't absolutely essential?  
Wouldn't that send a message to them and big business?

And, what if we stayed at home and used, say, one less tank of gas per week, each?  Take the population of the U.S., multiply it by 10 (for ten gallons), and watch the oil companies go, "What the hell?  We gotta get our 33 million dollar a quarter profit margin or we're all gonna lose our jobs!"

What if we all wore T-Shirts, applied bumper or window stickers, and put a flag outside of our home that read, 
"As a citizen, I PROTEST!"  

Think a message might get through?

What if we all said, "The Hell With Being Politically Correct?"  Control of the populace is gained by making them ignorant of the ability to think individually, providing them with a unified thought pattern (brainwashing), and negatively propagandizing any one or thing that doesn't believe the same as what is put out to be "proper thinking."  Our society of today is vast proof that this is now being utilized, as individual thought is chastised by the masses time and time again.

The individual thinker is what moves mountains, while the masses are herded to the meadows below to fatten up and then be slaughtered.  We must fight this concept of Political Correctness at every turn.  Otherwise, we might as well just fatten up.

I'm 59 years old, and nearing the lower gully on the other side of Life's Mountain.  I served my country in the military, and have watched it become less and less of what it was meant to be.  Still, I care about the country in which I reside and the people ... all people ... that have to struggle to make ends meet here.  I'm tired of the deception and betrayal of government as it has continuously grown larger and less amiable to the wants, needs and desires of the common man it fails so miserably to represent.  

Yes, it's time for a change.  But change will only take place if everyone will participate.  It can start with one voice being echoed by two, and then four, and then eight and so on and so on.
Are you ready to start the echo?

Or would you rather just sit back and ignore it until it too late?

Monday, September 9, 2013

Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday ... Beautiful Songs (You May Have Never Heard)

For months, I've been tempted to participate in Jen's Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday.  (Lord knows Jen and others have been on my case about doing it!)  However, I haven't done it because I'm known more for sarcastic comedy than my "musical" side.

However, for those of you that know me, you're aware I have quite a background in the music industry, of sorts, having played in a short lived band in the early 70's (we once opened for REO Speedwagon), as well as having spent many years as a radio disc jockey ... back when you had to pick your own music, create your own show, and develop a character that would draw all the "heads" and serious music lovers to your show.  

Besides all of that, age hasn't decreased my spirit to own every piece of music I can.  My cd collection has passed the 7,000 mark, I still have over 2,000 vinyl albums, and my digital collection is amassed at over 127,000 songs.   One might say I'm a music hoarder of sorts.  But, as I've validated to my wife for years, "Would you rather have me spend my money on music, or drink it away on a six pack a night?"  She agrees, music is a much better choice.

When I saw Jen's post for "Beautiful Music" this week, I knew I had to finally participate.  Why?  Because I think I finally have something to offer those that really like music.  I've selected five of my all time favorites, plus, just for giggles, I've added number six.  These are songs that you may never have heard, but are each haunting and beautiful either in the music they provide or the stories they tell.  I'll try to add some humor along the way, but I really want you to just listen to the songs and their stories if you will.  I don't think you'll be disappointed.

#6  -  "Diamond Mine"  (Blue Rodeo)

If you ever smoked dope, this was the song you wanted to be high to.  If you never smoked dope, you'd still enjoy it if you had the patience to listen.  It starts slow, builds steadily, rocks like a mother in the middle, and brings you back down to catch your breath in the end.  I guess you might call it the perfect masturbation song!

So, get out your ointment, and rub slowly.  Build yourself up as you intensify the speed and concentration.  Let the waves pulsate as you reach the peak, and then, have a cigarette on me!

#5  -  "Why'd You Lie"  (Colin James)

As "Diamond Mine" was released in 1989, so was "Why'd You Lie."  It's a story of someone not being very faithful in a relationship, lying about it, and then trying to explain when caught.  It wasn't based on the Richard Nixon presidency, no matter how similar the story may be.

This song verges on Blues/Rock, while telling you a tale that will curl your hair, even if you've recently waxed.  The guitar licks will drive you insane if you let them, so I have to provide a warning, "This song may drive you crazy if you concentrate solely on the guitar licks."  Okay, you've been warned.  Go sue someone else!

#4  -  "What Am I Living For"  (Mark - Almond)

No, this isn't The Allman Brothers Band as so many have mistakenly thought in the past.  Instead, it's two talented songwriters that knew how to draw people into a tale of misery and woe by providing beautiful melodies and thought provoking lyrics.  Kind of like Frank Zappa in drag!

As we've all questioned ourselves at times, this song brings the full brunt of the seriousness of life, and the ironies of effort.  You cannot but love this song if you're a human being at all.  See, now, if you don't like it, I've got you!  (Don't you hate it when someone does that?)

#3  -  "White Bird"  (It's A Beautiful Day)

Bill Graham owned and operated two of the most well known rock clubs in the late 60's.  These were named the Fillmore East and the Fillmore West.  Rock acts of the "Psychedelic Era" performed almost nightly at these clubs, fine tuning their talents for the full scale concert halls that followed.  These clubs were also small enough to give them a "hometown" feeling of comfort for the artists as well as giving them some "homegrown" feelings before and after playing!  (Damn, watch the seeds, man, they're popping all over the place!)

It's A Beautiful Day was a band fronted by David LaFlame that graced the Fillmores on both coasts.  His female vocalist accompaniment rotated between his wife, girlfriends, ex-wife, girlfriends ... well, you get the picture.  "White Bird" was the group's biggest hit, and still remains a favorite Classic Rock Radio tune of today.  Listen, leave your golden cage, fly away, and if you don't return, remember the good times we almost had!

#2  -  "Moriah"  (Spooky Tooth)

In 1973, Orlando, Florida held a concert at an outdoor baseball park.  On the agenda was an opening group called White Witch (known for their song, "Let's Go Get Stoned"), the headliner was the J. Geils Band (who had just hit the airwaves with their big single, "Give It To Me"), and some unknown group in the middle called Spooky Tooth (which usually occurred when you'd smoked too much, got a bad case of the munchies, and gobbled down popcorn before it had cooked thoroughly).  

Spooky Tooth included an organ/vocalist by the name of Gary Wright.  Yep, Mr. Dreamweaver man himself!  However, don't believe that Gary never knew how to rock and roll.  Spooky Tooth was a kick ass rock band that carried the evening.  "Cotton Growing Man" was a favorite song of mine for decades, but this song, "Moriah" was haunting to no end.  One might even call it somewhat mystical in nature.  Give it a shot and you'll see what I mean!

#1  -  "Pretty Princess"  (Loggins & Messina)

Loggins & Messina was one of the few groups I would still pay big money to see today if they were to get back together.  No, Kenny Loggins wasn't always a pop icon shouting the theme from Caddyshack, "I'm Alright."  In fact, some of the best music you'll ever hear came from him and Jimmy Messina (who in no way resembles a groundhog).  

You want some real music?  Listen to the extended versions of "Vahevala", "Angry Eyes", and this one here, "Pretty Princess."  You're going to hear a blend of so many instruments and vocal harmonies, you'll wonder if they didn't overdub it 500 times.  I guarantee it, they sounded this good in concert, if not better.  

This song is about an afternoon affair that a wife has as her husband is away.  Again, slow to start, fast in the middle to a fever level, and then time to catch your breath at the end.  Fingers tired, yet?

So, that's my little contribution to this Mix Tape Tuesday.  Hope you enjoyed it.  Of course, if you didn't scan and really listened to the music, you enjoyed it much better.  

Never thought you'd start smoking again, did you?

Friday, September 6, 2013

Boom! Boom!

Syria ... as it stands now ... before bombing
takes place ... if it does happen!
Boom!  Boom!

The bombs are to be dropped 
in Syria.
(That should frustrate all Syrians hunting for treasure with metal detectors!)

Boom!  Boom!

Once again, the politicians are playing their games!
(Especially Senator John McCain, who loves his I-Phone Poker!)

Boom!  Boom!

The Russians and the rest of the world believe we're crazy to bomb a formal government (even if it doesn't live up to our standards of hiding its atrocities to its occupants) and back one made up of terrorists and extremists!
(Let's see, we've fought a war against extremists for 12 years ... 
so, have we now decided "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?"

Boom!  Boom!

As campaign contribution obligations are met, big business is saying, 
"Pick me, Pick me!  Haliburton Corporation got all the money last time!  It's my turn!"
(Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money and mo' Money!)

"Something must happen to
boost my popularity polls!
Michelle's trying to get booked
on Oprah again, but they've
said they'd rather have
this old lady swimmer!"
Boom!  Boom!

We're going to drop bombs that will kill innocent people in retaliation for chemical weapons being used that killed innocent people.
(But if we aim real good, we might not kill that many at all!  In fact, the few that get killed will only be classified as the 
"unfortunate casualties that wars bring!")

Boom!  Boom!

Obama's popularity polls have been dropping as of recent.  Perhaps he believes a war is what he needs to bring them back up again!
(Hey, Look me over, I'm your kind of guy!  
Let's get into another war 
and drop bombs from the sky!)

Boom!  Boom!

The world's self designated police officer (the United States) is going to force itself into the spotlight once again and try to control its own population growth by sending more and more Americans off to war to be killed.
(One Congress Twelve, One Congress Twelve, people being killed in another country.  Time to forget about our own again and spread the disease of greed and political correctness throughout the world, whether they want it or not!)

Confucius say, "Rock & Roll
and the music industry has
always been about sex, drugs &
extremes.  If you're surprised,
about Miley's actions, you've
been a dumb ass too long!"
Boom!  Boom!

In the United States, there are more important newsworthy items to take up our time.  We're concerned about Miley Cyrus dancing.  

Mothers, who've allowed television, movie and music artists to set the role models their kids follow, instead of properly helping their children grow by providing proper role model guidelines and instructions themselves, complain and bitch about Miley.  Yet, hasn't rock and roll always been comprised of sex, drugs, and extremes?  Now, they're upset because it lives up to its reputation!  

Can you say, "Are you really that damn stupid that you expected the Video Music Awards to be a G Rated program?"
(Let's see, there's been profanity, Howard Stern's bare butt, Britney Spears and Madonna kissing, and many other instances of adult behavior and entertainment on past shows.  What did you expect, a bunch of kittens chasing a ball of string?  By the way, there's a little button on your remote that allows you to change the channel.  If you'd use it, you wouldn't have to bitch about what your children were watching!  Or, weren't you paying attention (like always) and only learned about her dancing exhibition the next day at work?)

Boom!  Boom!

A Cleveland, Ohio kidnapper that held three girls captive for 13 years hangs himself in a jail cell to escape life imprisonment.  The news media wonders how it happened.  Those with common sense are simply happy it did and that they won't have to pay for the decades of incarceration he would have cost the taxpayers.
(Ding Dong, the asshole's dead, hung himself is what they said, 
Ding Dong, the damn asshole is dead!)

Boom!  Boom!

"I love sleeping with my
new shotgun.  It's so much
warmer than my wife was!"
Dennis Rodman goes to North Korea for the second time as an unofficial ambassador of the United States.  Does anyone really care why?
(He either wants to coach the Korean National Basketball Team in the next Olympics, become the team hairstylist, or get a job designing the next generation of rhinestone uniforms!)

Boom!  Boom!

George Zimmerman went shopping for a shotgun.  Wanted something that he could hold on to for self protection.  George Zimmerman's wife has filed for divorce.  Obviously, she felt neglected as her role was replaced by shotgun.
(Guess George wanted something he could cock, shoot more than once, and would remain long and true to what it aimed at.  It has been hinted his wife has insinuated he was unable to perform in that manner and that she was tired having to purchase batteries all the time!)

Boom!  Boom!

When will the bombs fall?  

When will the politically correct realize most could care less what the hell they think? 

When will the sanity return?  

Has common sense left the building never to return?

Or, could we say, it's just on vacation for a few generations?

Boom!  Boom!