Monday, February 4, 2013

Gabriela's "Mommy Blog Monday"

Hi y'all!   It's me again!

Hello! Hello!

The girl of girls, 

the furry fan 
 of fabulous friends,

the magical mommy 
of mommies,

the demonic cat 
of Kentucky Flatt,

yes, ladies,

I have returned!!!

Gabriela's In The House!!!
(Boom Shaka Laka,  Boom Shaka Laka!)

I knew I'd get my way and get my own day to blog if I created a big enough fit over it!  Rich has agreed to let me have my day!  

Of course, I had to threaten him a little.  

We argued about it some, but he finally saw my side of the story when I asked him (while I was sharpening my claws) if he'd like to wake up one morning with the same abilities to please a woman that Faletame has!   

I said, 

"Richiepoo, I ain't no vet, 
but I can say I surely bet, 
my claws can make a difference, in the way you set ... down!"   

Girls, he quickly saw it my way!  lol  Just remember, to properly inspire, you gotta show some fire!

So, now I got my day to blog.  I just gotta figure out something to talk about!  Like that's ever been a problem for me.

Being a mommy, I guess I can talk about mommies.  I can hear y'all's knees knockin' now!  

"Oh, Gabriela ... be gentle!  You know we love our kids and husband with all our lives!  We'd do anything to make them happy!  We always try to show love and affection!"

Who do you think y'all are talkin' to, girls?  Y'all just like me ... as long as you're in control, you're the baddest bitch on the block!  Then, when something goes too far, you just say, "What have I got myself into", start blamin' someone else, say the hell with the diet, eat a half gallon of Cookies 'N Cream ice cream, and then call your cryin' buddy and let out all your guilty feelin's about how you should be appreciated more!

Ladies, that's what we do!  Be loud and be proud!

I remember my six kids!  In fact, I think of them all the time ... and am happy to have them out of my life!  Oh chill now, I'm just jokin'!  I loved them, for about five minutes after they was born.  Then, girls, they started feedin' on me.  

OH....MY....GOD...!!!!      The little suckers had teeth!!!

Y'all's kids don't get teeth till they're done feedin' on you.  Mine were born with them!  Big long fangs that would dig way down to your back bone and scrap the fleas off the vertebrae!  

You know how it feels when your boyfriend,  oops, hubby are in that sexy lovin' mood and he starts goin' a little crazy on you and bites down when he shouldn't???  (Yeah, we know where to get them back for that ... don't we girls?)

But, imagine, six of those darling dears bitin' you at once!    I swear, I just about decided immediately that all of them were gonna go on a starvation diet right out of the pod!  

But, it's all about a mother's love.  I laid there, day after day, as my six little, lovin' babies sucked in their breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Six furry frocks of feedin' frenzy ... just going to town on all I had to offer.

I'd always heard that a mother's love was unconditional.  If I'd have known about the bitin' condition, I might have thought twice about gettin' conditionally pregnant!  

However, as a lovin' mother, I had just one thought, 

"When the hell y'all gonna start eatin' solid food?"

Well, they got older real fast.  And before you know it, they're gone!  I really miss them sometimes.  They don't even write!  It's kind of like, "Gee Mom, thanks for the food.  Gotta go!  Maybe see you around!"

Ain't that the fate we have, ladies?  We're used by men, used by kids, and then expected to be the lovin', sweet, devoted creatures we portray ourselves to be.  

Gets cha all mushy inside.  Kind of makes you want to start drinkin'... again!   Least, that's my excuse!  lol

Anyway, I guess the moral of this blog is, 

"Love and enjoy y'all's kids and husband as long as they're around.  
Almost nothin' lasts forever, and along with the good, comes some pain!  
Plus, there's always wine for the whine!  
So, open that sucker up!"

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***If  y'all want, I'll be back next Monday.  I'm thinkin' about talkin' about the subject "Men-O-Pause!"  Remember, Rich will only let me come back if you comment favorably!  Let him know what you think below!


Now, if you don't mind, I've gotta get my beauty sleep!
Writing a blog is a lot of work!