Saturday, February 14, 2015

Hot Dog Lengths, Charles Manson, and Jeb Bush's Boo Boo ... It's Ten Things Of Thankful!!!

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To all of you that read last week's post, I salute you.

To all of you that read part of last week's post I understand.

To all of you that looked at the length of last week's post and said, "I'll be damned if I read all of this", I apologize.

Once again I exceeded the common sense length for a blog.  It is a chronic problem for me, and will probably always be.  

Nothing like being optimistic, is there?

So, I guess that's the short and long of it!

Of course, I've always heard, "It's not how long it is....", which I know is somewhat of a lie told to make the male gender less intimidated.  Most agree that foot long chili dogs with cheese, onions, and mustard are better than their 6 inch counterparts.  That is, if you eat hot dogs.

Sonic Drive-In's are now advertising a smaller type of hot dog called "Little Doggies".  They are supposed to start at $1.29, where their regular hot dogs are priced $1.99 and up.   If these are better hot dogs than the regular ones, and size doesn't matter, then why are the pups less expensive?

And, if size doesn't matter, why is Fifty Shades of Grey more inviting to some than Twenty Shades of Grey?

See, size does matter!

With that philosophy in mind, wouldn't a longer post be better than a shorter post?

A funny thing happens when we're on the web.  We expect everything to be short.  News reports and videos are cut down into one or two minute segments, articles are supposed to be short and concise, and thinking is reduced to short bits and pieces.

It's like in depth thinking resides only in books and college classes filled with memories of boring lectures.  Our concentration flies out the window unless we can complete the task within a ten minute period.

Kind of puts a time limit on eating a hot dog, doesn't it?

Of course, if your menu at home only has a little doggie, it probably doesn't matter.  However, if you're lucky enough to have a foot long on the menu, shouldn't you take the time to enjoy it?  Or, after ten minutes, do you simply stop eating and say, "Damn, that's all for now.  Maybe I'll finish it later."

Poor hot dogs ... being ignored never brings smiles to faces.  

So, wouldn't taking a little more time to relish the task in hand bring about a greater level of satisfaction to all involved?

Then again, it's all about the size of the hot dogs 

... and satisfied smiles.

That being said, 
"Let's see what this week brings in   
Ten Things Of Thankful!!!!"
(If that's not too long for you.)

1)  Charles Manson Stays Single!    

"When she said she wanted my body, hell,
I thought she wanted to have sex!"
Charles Manson is no longer getting married.  Seems that love wasn't the reason (as I posted months ago).  No, in a stranger than fiction ending, it seems as though his bride to be wanted his body to put on display and rake in the cash after he died.

Supposedly, Ms. Elizabeth Burton (romantically known as "Star") previously visited Manson with a request for his body's ownership after he passed.  After he refused, she quickly decided that if she was his wife, the law would grant her ownership.  Thus, the charade was on!

Looks like things have ended badly for her.  The marriage certificate has passed its cut off date so it doesn't look like the wedding is forthcoming.  At 80 years of age, Charles Manson looks to live out the rest of his life a single man.  That is, unless someone else enters the picture!

(So, if you're interested, Charles Manson is back in the marriage marketplace for the right person.  Send all inquiries to :
Charles Manson
I'm In Hell State Prison
Burning Side, State of Confusion   66666)

2)  Kanye West's Grammy's Debacle.  

Available at award shows everywhere!
Kanye West is continuing his never ending journey to prove to everyone that he's an asshole.  What else is new?  

When Beck's album won Album of the Year at this year's Grammy Awards, Beck, obviously surprised, walked to the stage.  Upon arriving at the microphone, Kanye started to join him there.  For a moment, it looked as though we were going to have a repeat of the time Kanye took the mic away from Taylor Swift and degraded her winning as he praised Beyonce's.  Luckily, Kanye stopped and turned around, which made the audience believe he was only joking.  

He wasn't.

After the awards, Kanye's mouth couldn't stop talking about how Beyonce's album was the obvious winner and how terrible it was that her album didn't win.  In doing so, he was also downgrading the quality of Beck's album.  

Beck, on the other hand, praised Kanye for his musical releases over the years.  We're still not sure if this was due to the fact that Beck is a gentleman, or just under the effects of a very good prescription drug.  

Beck also wrote and produced every note of his album in his home studio.  It's what is called "Original Material."  Beyonce used common Pop Music beats that are more than familiar, had most songs written by other artists, and only performed the vocals.

Who would you say deserved to win?  

Kanye has been called an asshole, a disrespectful piece of El Toro defecation, and an unwanted attendee at any future awards event.  I agree with all of the above.  Personally, I'd like to see a star jam a mic stand up his butt sideways, attach a live electrical cord, and watch him fry while Jackie DeShannon's, "What The World Needs Now Is Love" plays in the background. 

Luckily, my wife and I had DVR'd the Grammy Awards, so we were able to fast forward through his two performances there.  They were the only performances we skipped during the entire show.

I believe we're better people for it.

And Kanye West is still an egotistical asshole.  

Of course, you already knew that, didn't you? 

3)  AirAsia Plane Crashes.

None this week!

Aren't they lucky?

More people took my advice last week as elephant ride rentals are reported up 200%!

Of course, extremist animal rights activists will soon be getting ready to fly to Asia to protest the elephants usage.  AirAsia will offer them discounts if they all catch the same flight.

We may have just solved 
TWO problems.

4)  Same Sex Marriage Licenses Denied.

Only twenty-three of Alabama's 67 counties are issuing marriage licenses for same sex couples despite the ruling and orders of a U.S. District Court Judge.  Eighteen counties are ignoring the judge's ruling entirely, and in direct response, twenty-six counties have stopped issuing marriage licenses to anyone!

Said one Alabamian, "This is our state and we'll do things the way we want here.  The Feds and the liberals might not believe in God or God's word, but we do."

In the 1960's, similar stances were taken against integration of schools by the state's then Governor George Wallace.  Federal insistence took many years to bring about complete change.  Several vow this might take even longer as many religious leaders in the state are standing firmly against it.

From a religious and regional viewpoint, I understand their stand.  From a human rights viewpoint, I understand the other side of the table.

I'm against Federal intervention most of the time.  I feel as though if we lived in a democracy, the people of the community have a right to decide what's right and wrong for them, not people hundreds or thousands of miles away.  Yet, we don't live in a democracy (as I've been reminded many times).  We live in a republic that only uses the idea of democracy as a guideline.  

The laws of freedom apply to all, regardless where they live.  Again, tolerance must be recognized.  I know that concept is rare in this day and age, but it still is important.  If a parent can't explain intelligently to their children about their exposure to life situations, then they are a failure as a parent.  They shouldn't depend on the government to do their job for them.  

Regional attitudes that state, "If they don't like it let them move to where they're with those of their own kind" are against the basics of the Constitution.  It's like in my state, where even attitudes towards driving ("This is my lane.  I pay taxes to be here so don't try to move in it or I'll ram your butt.") bring about a selfish context.  It is wrong, but the people in many of the areas truly believe they're right in thinking this way.

So, what will happen next?  Sooner or later, money from the Feds will be threatened to be cut off and the ACLU will threaten big money lawsuits.   Money talks!  At that point, all the refusals will end and everyone will be allowed to marry the partner they want.  Community desires will be cast aside for the cold hard cash the politicians want.  The majority will find themselves shaking their heads in disbelief, and the minority will be laughing at them for fighting what was bound to happen.

But, as most will find, old feelings will be hard to forget and life will not be a "happily ever after" ending.  There will be conflicts on an individual note, preachers will have topics for Sunday sermons, and new debates will arise when adoption rights are discussed.

And, the politicians will get more money 
as every conflict comes to an end.

Don't you love the American way of life?

5)  LAPD Screws Up Big Time.

Police arrived on the scene to find a young man holding what they thought was a gun. 

 Ordering him to put it down, they opened fire when he refused.  Their bullets hit a young man standing next to him in the back.  The weapon turned out to be a replica weapon, not a real gun.

Before the rioting starts on this one, let's ask some questions:
  1. After all the press concerning police shootings this last year, why wouldn't you put down the gun when ordered to?
  2. If the weapon wasn't being pointed at the police or another person, why did they open fire?
  3. How much target practice does the LAPD require of its officers to have them miss the target and hit a bystander in the back?
Perhaps the LAPD might need to stop worrying about the 
appearance of their officers and start concerning itself 
with their abilities to judge and shoot.  For some reason,
 this seems like it came out of an old
 "Police Academy" movie.  

Btw, what's Bobcat Goldthwait doing these days, anyway?

6)   Heath Insurance Deadline.

February 15th is the deadline for having some sort of health insurance for every person in the United States.  There are still many who have yet to sign up that will be facing a penalty of a minimum of $325 per person.  
"Didn't pay for Health Insurance?
We're coming to get you!"

Let's be real.  What this really does is to make sure the insurance companies make one hell of a profit.  It's just another favor being done for big business.

You think I'm crazy?  Look at it this way.  Insurance companies are now receiving money from thousands that did not have insurance.  Rates are high and benefits low for the most part, so the profits will be very substantial.  Thus, the companies will prosper, and the little man will struggle to pay for what he never could afford, but now faces government penalties for not doing so.

I'm well aware of the ideas that have been tossed out by the government to entice people to buy into this.  Still, there are some families that simply can't afford it.  Yes, there are supposedly places that will assist income deficient households.  Yet, still there are those that simply don't have the money.  

So, now we'll impose fines on those too poor to pay for insurance.  Sounds like forced servitude to me.  Why not just call it a tax on the poor and leave it at that?  Or, is this actually a form of slavery as freedom of choice is no longer allowed?

Damn, why didn't I become a doctor?  
To have my income guaranteed by threat of penalty 
or possible imprisonment to others must really 
be a warm feeling of job and income security!   
Country club, anyone?

7)  Illegal Immigrants To Receive Tax Breaks

With Obama's new executive actions, illegal immigrants may be able to collect earned income savings and refunds ... without ever having paid the first tax.  

This can actually be very confusing, so let me say it this way ....
Jose crosses the border one night, finds a place to stay, illegally gets hold of a Social Security number, files a false statement of income and dependents, and receives earned income credits towards taxation and reaps huge refund check for up to three years prior EIC's.

I'm going to move to Mexico, give up my U.S. citizenship, 
come across the border one night, 
and follow in Jose's footsteps.  

Sure beats working and paying taxes the legal way!

8)  Jeb Bush Does A Big Boo Boo.

I really didn't mean to
do it.  But, I know a man 

that's very happy I did!
Where you at, Jose?
Jeb Bush is not a child of the electronic age.  He tries, but like his brother, is more apt to screw up than succeed.

So, what did he do?  He released emails that he received during his tour as Florida's governor.  What did they include?  It's estimated that a certain PowerPoint slide contained over 13,000 names, birthdays, addresses, and Social Security numbers of Floridians.

Hey, Jose!  
Need a social security number ... cheap?   

And the Bush family traditions
continue ... as always.

9)   Boko Haram Attacks Chad.
This way, men!  No, this way!  No, this way!
Damn masks ... who forgot to
cut out the eye holes?

The Nigerian militant group known as Boko Haram has attacked a city in Chad.  Many innocent residents were massacred during this attack.  This is the same group that kidnapped 300 females several months ago and sold most into sexual servitude, as the rumor goes.

The United States is not attacking Boko Haram.  Why?  Because there's no profit in it!  Nigeria has nothing of great value that the United States government wants, so they're kind of sweeping them under the carpet.  Now, Chad ... has nothing either.  So, the U.S. is still ignoring the atrocities of the militants.

So, the next time the politicians tell you we'll take the battle against violence and injustice to the ends of the Earth, ask them which end Chad and Nigeria are on.  I'll bet the topic changes immediately!

10)  Cinderella's Waist ... Has Shrunk!

I was ready and waiting ...
and YOU NEVER called!
Disney Studios are being accused of using CGI to shrink the waist of Cinderella in the soon to be released film.  No one will admit to the deed, but an in-house artist was the first one to call them out on it.

Plump people are complaining continuously about this move.  Perhaps, Disney's choice of Lily James of Cinderella was indeed a wrong move.  I understand Melissa McCarthy was available for the role, but was never called even after losing a tremendous amount of weight.

Sometimes you just can't please people no matter what you do!

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And that's it for another TTOT!  
See you next week!