Tuesday, November 22, 2016

The Battle With The Adult Protection Service Is Over, But Another Battle Is Sadly Lost

I'm Free!!!  The APS Case Is Closed!!!
Like a couple of posts ago, this will be out of the norm of this blog.  The sarcasm will be mostly absent, the humor will be minimal at best, and the topic is one that can actually have a bearing on your life one day.  

This is about a victory my father and I had over the Indiana Adult Protection Service!

My last posting about the APS drew quite a few views.  One might even say that I cast aside my sarcastic trademark and provided a human interest story.

Okay, so I won't make it a habit.

Still, I have to boast a little.  Regardless of the efforts made to incarcerate (a more fitting word than the phrase "confine to a nursing home") my father, as they did my stepmother, they have now closed the case!

In addition, the sister of my stepmother is now attempting to regain guardianship of her and move her out of the nursing home.

We can only hope it's not too late.

But, let's first look at my father's case.

Attempts were made, first by the nursing home, to generate a feeling of dementia around his actions of the time.  They took a statement made by a man that had been awakened in the middle of the night and twisted it to look as though he didn't know where he was at.  They then took his action in walking five miles to be with his wife (when his vehicle was damaged in an accident in which was another person's fault) as the act of a person without their right senses.  And, finally, they looked at him not bringing lunch with him as an act of a man that couldn't remember things, when in essence, he didn't want the food to spoil in the heat and had already eaten a healthy breakfast.

In the meantime, he continued to change her bed at the nursing home, feed her when staff failed to do so, take her to the bathroom when staff wasn't available, and calm her down by talking to her, rather than using the drugs the nursing home fed her constantly.

Now, you know why her sister is attempting to get guardianship.  It's only my guess, and
I Sometimes Look At My Wife And
Wonder, "What Would I Do If I Were
In My Father's Shoes?"
only a layman's assumption, that knowing all that my father was doing, the nursing home looked upon him as a threat.  What better witness against them than a man performing the tasks they were paid to complete?  And, wouldn't it be to their benefit to discredit the witness in advance rather than attempt to do it after he had testified against them?

Legal services for my father were retained immediately this time.  I wasn't playing around in hopes that they'd see for themselves that he was very competent.  He had tried that with his wife and the results weren't as he'd expected.  I knew better than to let the state office have their way early.

I scheduled appointments with the Veteran's Administration for mental and physical competency tests, the Department of Motor Vehicles for a driving test, and contacted the APS so they'd understand that proceeding ahead of those appointments might result in a legal suit against them.  As expected, they intelligently backed off.

Well, the physical examination showed that my 83-year-old father is in better shape than I am!  That was no surprise as his blood pressure was 105 over 54, his heart rate was a little less than 70 bpm, and he is on no medication for any ailment at this time.  He is constantly working in the yard in all types of weather, chops wood daily for the Winter and his Mother Earth News style home furnace, and eats no fast food whatsoever!

Then, the mental examination was given.  He got every question right but the date, and was only off by one day.  Hell, I've often miscalculated the date, thinking it was the 3rd and it was the 4th, etc.  

The doctor, after bragging about his state of physical and mental health, told me to cancel the driving test as he had given her no reason to proceed.  She smiled, told him not to forget to set an appointment for his check-up in six months, and bid him a cheery good-bye.

Still, even with that news, I knew that we needed to be careful.  So, I continued limiting his time at the nursing home to two hours a day.  Although he's greeted with smiling faces there by the staff, I'm not forgetting how they attempted to have him confined.  He's still a danger to them, and even more so now that he's been through all the examinations proving his competency.

Oh, there have been instances I look at him and think to myself, "He's not going to be in great health forever.  I need to keep a close eye on him."  

I think, throughout all the trauma this last year has brought us, and considering that he is suffering from being alone for the most part, my father and I have finally grown close.  At age 83, he respects me and my opinions now, something he never really demonstrated before.  It's as though we've changed roles, with me becoming the adult telling him how to stay safe and of what to beware.  The child has become the parent.

Although a man that cannot live without his independence, he calls me now when he needs help.  He's not above admitting that society has greatly changed since "his day" and it's not easy to keep up with.  Computers, electronic drafts, dealing with official agencies and legal representation may not be his cup of tea, but he knows I have no trouble with any of it.  So, he now looks at me as being there to take care of him when he needs it.  

You might say it's the first time since my days as a late 60's freak 
that he's shown me respect.

And, it's only taken me over 40 years to earn it.

Love ya, dad!

Just do as I say!

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     

***I was debating on when to publish the above.  I wrote it before the national election, but with all the hatred and spite in the air, I just couldn't publish it then.  I had thought during the Ten Things Of Thankful blog hop, or perhaps some other time.  

However, to every victory a small amount of tragedy occurs.  

Less than two hours ago I received word that my stepmother was being given a maximum of two days to live.  She is unresponsive, unable to swallow, and has had a Catholic priest by her side for quite some time.  The end is near.

I lost my real mother when I was thirteen.  For the last thirty-six years, this woman has been my mother and the wife of my father.  I know it will be a great loss for me when she passes, but his loss will be even greater.

We all get old.  It's a natural occurrence.  Acceptance of growing old finally sets in when common sense overcomes ego.  Acceptance of death arrives at about the same time.

The same compassion that allows us to love forces our hearts to ache when we lose a loved one.  I have told many to stop thinking of themselves and rejoice in the departed's release from misery.  Instead of thinking about how much we'll miss them, think about how they are now free and in a much better place.

It is time for me to practice what I preach.  It won't be easy, but one must do what one must do.  Otherwise, self-pity and grief overcome our sense of logic and create a deeper hole for us to climb out of when the sun rises and the clouds clear.

I worry about my father and how he'll take this.  Will he lose his sense of purpose?  Will he lose his desire to live on and continue to enjoy the ...

... Sorry, I just answered the phone.  The 48 hours just shrunk to less than two. 

My stepmother has passed.

Her suffering is over.

May God Bless You, Shirley.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Woe Is Me, The Sky Is Falling, The Sky Is Falling

Initially, I wanted to laugh.  Then, I decided that crying might be a better option.  Then, the tears turned to feelings of empathy.  Finally, I just sat back, let out some gas, and shook my head.

Facebook and other social media was filled with so many prophets of doom that one would swear Nostradamus had been running sexually rampant amidst the masses within recent years.

Trump had become "President Elect Trump" in the wee hours of the morning.  Clinton had conceded and the title was now Trump's.  He had given an acceptance speech, but as of six hours later, she had not given her concession speech.

Guess those items taken from the White House when the Clintons left years ago will remain missing.

Probably just as well.  Trump will probably redecorate anyway.  I understand there's quite a bit of shiny brass and multiple velvet curtains left over from the last casino he shut down.

I'm awaiting the news media to present cartoons of Trump's family marching the goose step behind him as they walk up the podium to be sworn in this coming January.  They've done a great job of underestimating and poking fun at him to this point, so I imagine they'll continue.

It brings in ratings and sells newspapers ... to those that can't afford cable.

Female Clinton supporters now fear for their lives.  Trump ... the male, chauvinistic pig of today, will bring forth a multitude of changes ... including allowing today's male to carry a club and "conk" the female of his choice and drag her back to his cave to have babies and clean the dirt from the rock furniture.  

Many of my minority friends, as if labeling was necessary, feel the fear in the air.  Visions of stormtroopers, smashing down doors in the middle of the night, collecting them and herding them like the Nazi's did the Jews during the years preceding WWII fill their heads.  Sounds of gunshots fill the air and lead finds its mark in the bodies of the innocent members of their family and community members.  The nightmare is to become a reality is to become a nightmare.

The airwaves of the Northeast and West Coast are filled with the sounds of R.E.M. ....
"Oh, woe is me, ain't this fun, 
 Trump is King, we all are done!!!!

Get out the BBQ grills ... our goose is cooked.

Or, is it?

First off, I didn't vote for either Trump or Clinton.  I couldn't validate voting for the lesser of two evils, so I didn't vote for either evil.  I, instead, chose to cast my vote for Gary Johnson.  

Now, Clinton's supporters are saying that a vote for Johnson was a vote for Trump.  Not so.  I wasn't going to vote for her anyway, just as I wasn't going to vote for Trump.  I had to cast my ballot for the only one I trusted ... and neither of the major candidates fit that requirement.  

Of course, Trump supporters are saying that I took the easy road and almost put Clinton in office by not voting for Trump.  Amazing how small minds all think the same, isn't it?

Folks, the world is not going to end.  It didn't end when O-Bam-Bama took office, and it's not going to end when the flaring Trump-ette takes the oath.  You forget, he's only the president ... not God (as some of O-Bam-Bama's supporters would like you to think).

Members of the male gender are not grabbing clubs and changing their ways just because
of the election results.  If they're asses to you, it's because they've always been asses.  

In fact, they are just as shallow as the women that voted for Clinton only because they were the same gender as her (yes, there were many).   I think these two gender groups kind of balanced out the negatives of each other's votes.  You know, "stupid is as stupid does."

Oh, come on, please don't sit there and tell me that being a member of the female or male gender makes you an automatic vote getter for the office of P.U.S.A.   I would hope you researched the candidates more than that prior to casting your ballot.

We have four years in front of us to judge what influence Trump can impose upon Congress.  Hopefully, he will make some changes.  There are necessary reforms that must be installed to social programs to eliminate freeloaders and those that haven't earned the right to participate.  There are corporations that need to be challenged about moving jobs and factories overseas and spitting on America's workforce, all the while expecting these same people to purchase the product they produce.  The forecasted rate hikes for Obamacare are astronomical and changes must occur or fines will be imposed those who can't afford the premiums.  And, racial tensions must be addressed in all areas.

Then again, he's only the president.  Congress is where most of these changes must occur.  Getting big business out of the pockets of these representatives and turning them around to really concern themselves with the needs of those they represent is an almost impossible challenge to take on.  

Regardless of who won the election, we were going to have to wait to see how they did. 

 That takes four years to take place.
Let's hold off forecasting doom and gloom until it's over.


C'mon ... say "Okay!"