Thursday, October 3, 2013

FTSF: Gnats, Love Bugs, Scanners, and My Best Friend

God, why did you create these monsters???

There's a gnat flying 
in front of my face.  

No matter what I do, the damn thing manages to avoid my swats, grabs and cigarette lighter flame.  

I seriously hate gnats!  

They serve no purpose whatsoever.  

They fly up your nose, 
sit on your food, 
and pester you to no end.

Kind of like th......

GOT HIM!!!!!!

I guess this is a lesson in persistence.  I could have given up and let the little pain in the ass get the best of me.  Instead, I persisted with my efforts.  By the most generous stroke of luck, my efforts, as clumsy as they may have been, brought forth success in my quest to be free of the frustrating pest.

He's now crushed, wiped from my palm, and lying squished atop a cigarette butt in the ashtray.  It's a trophy I will enjoy until I sadly dump it in the trash later.  No last rites.  No tears of sorrow.    

Whew!  That was almost as good as sex!

(Or, what I remember sex to be like!)

I wonder if gnats have sex?

Love Bugs ...
going at it safe from 18 wheelers!
There's a bug in the Deep South nicknamed the Love Bug that lives up to its name.  However, it's insides are so acidic, when they smash against a speeding vehicle, they must be washed off soon or they will mar the paint finish.  A couple of times a year, these suckers are all over the place and seem to thrive, as do the owners of coin operated car washes.  

I always wondered about living one's life just to make love.  

(Okay, so we were all teenagers once!  But, we did grow out of that stage.  It's called marriage!)

Envision, if you will, being one of these Love Bugs: 

  1. You're flying along, minding your own business, and from out of nowhere you spy the love of your life.  
  2. Not being hindered by any type of clothing, you immediately race towards each other, firmly grasp hold, and begin your quest for the best!  
  3. Hot, wild, passionate bug groans and grunts fill the air as your climax grows close.  
  4. Of course, you're somewhat oblivious to where your flight has taken you.  
  5. Just as you reach the peak, you look up and see an eighteen wheeler only yards away, bearing down on you at 70 mph.

(What a way to go!)

I guess going fast would be as good as any way to die.  I really have no aspirations to find out what getting smashed by an eighteen wheeler would feel like.  Of course, it might be worth it if I could go in the same manner as the Love Bug.  

(Just one more time before I die, at least!  And, "No", not with a Love Bug!  
God, to be a teenager again!)

In fact, making love used to be one of two favorite activities for me (the other being making people laugh).  Unfortunately, I usually accomplished both at the same time!

But, that's another topic for another day ... or night.

This is Finish The Sentence Friday! 

I've been somewhat absent lately because of my hectic work schedule.  In fact, some of my old readers have left me because I'm unable to spend hours going from blog to blog reading and commenting like I once was able to do.  Some have also left because of the political rants I've occasionally made.  And, since I've been doing some music posts and guest posts about music (my second love), some have decided the humor has died and slipped away.  To all of those that have left, I can only say, "That's Life ... Sometimes!!!"

I've always proclaimed that I dabble in humor, but I didn't name my blog "Rich's Comedy Blog."  That's Life ... Sometimes!!! concerns all things we endure and feel in life.  It's about feeling, loving, hating, and anything that brings about an emotion.  It may work to help you laugh, become aware, make you mad, or cause you to cry.  

Scanners just don't understand it ... because they don't read it.

So, I'll continue doing what I do for those that appreciate it here in the states, as well as overseas.  I'm surprised at the numbers it does draw, especially from other countries.  It's only one person's viewpoint, though, and should be looked at as just that.  

Anyway, let's move on to the real reason for today's posting!

Today's FTSF is once again presented by our hostesses listed with the rules in the JPEG below.
This week's prompt is:

The Hardest Choice I Ever Made Was ...

Let me begin by saying that I love animals.  In fact, I may even hold animals in a higher regard than many of the people I've met in life.  

Why?  Well, when was the last time that an animal lied, cheated, or stole from you?  How many people have you given kindness and love to in your life, only to find yourself being made a fool of in the end?  And, how many people that you've trusted have returned that favor by stabbing you in the back?

This Pygmy Rattlesnake was never
really a cuddly pet.
Now, let's look at animals.  In my life, I've had all types of pets.  Dogs, cats, snakes, lizards, horses, and even a hamster or two, not to mention working with all types of reptiles, big cats, and many others.  Yet, in every instance, I knew what the animal was going to do.  

And this one was just damn crazy!
No hugging or holding, please!
Oh, you have to be wary of those instincts of reptiles that will get you bitten.  The same with big cats.  (I've had bites from both!)  Even horses will sometimes expand their girth when you're saddling them so that the cinch doesn't tighten properly and will allow the saddle to slip later.  For sure, these are animals that you usually don't cuddle.

But dogs and cats ... well, you give them love and they'll usually return the favor tenfold.  Give them proper care, food and shelter, and you've got a friend for the rest of your life.  A friend that will be there when you need something to get you out of the dumps and not ask for anything special in return.  

When I was young, I always had dogs.  I've written about them before on  Many of them held deep meaning in my heart.  However, as I acquired a family and moved from rental home to rental home, cats seemed to be the best option.

Gabriela and Faletame
during a housecleaning session!
Faletame still thinks he's only
this big at times!
Over the years, there's been many.  Of course, my present two, Faletame and Gabriela, are my new favorites.  They're both so unique in that they love to fetch (throw a toy mouse and they'll go after it and bring it to you to do again), both meet me in the bathroom in the mornings when I awaken to give me some morning loving (OMG, get your head out of the gutter), and will answer me whenever I ask them a question (no, not in English, fool, but in vocal tone and body language).  To this day, Faletame still pictures himself a tiny kitten and believes that he can nestle on my chest with his head under my chin and one leg and paw around my neck, as a small child might be seen doing.  Most of the time, I let him get away with thinking that way and appreciate his attention.

However, I once had a pure white cat by the name of Antonius.  This friend was my shadow.  Wherever you found me, you found Antonius.  When I worked in Baton Rouge, and only came home on weekends, my wife would tell me that she always knew when I was on my way because one hour before I got there, regardless of the time of day, he would go to the sliding glass door and wait on me to drive up.  

After many years, Antonius started having problems.  His hind legs stopped working.  I knew he was in pain as I would reach for him and he would give me a little snarl.  Still, he would never bite as I would gently put him on a pillow on my lap and hold him close.  I took him to the vet quickly, and found out he had a spinal problem.  The vet then offered to send him to Auburn University for testing.  

No matter how I tried to validate the act, I just couldn't see my best friend being poked and prodded by people he didn't know.  There was no way that I could bear to see him suffer, but I just couldn't send him off like that.

So, the hardest decision I ever made was to have him put to sleep.

It may sound stupid, but I asked the vet for a few minutes alone with him.  I stroked his ears and neck the way he loved me to.  For minutes I reminisced about our first meeting, some of the times and fun we'd had together, and how much I loved him.  And no, this tough old guy couldn't control the tears that flowed during those five minutes.

I finally called the vet back in and watched him give my best friend the fatal shot.  Immediately, Antonius dropped off to sleep, never to awaken.

Taking him home, I buried him in the back yard.  At the head of his grave, I used a soldering iron to burn the following into a piece of wood for his grave marker:

My best friend ever

I'll never forget him.  And, yes, it was the toughest decision I ever made.  

I've lost a couple of cats since then.  We sit together during their last days, as much as possible, experiencing the heartbreak and love.  It's never easy to lose a pet. And, it's never easy to lose a friend.  What makes it tough is when you lose both.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think Faletame and Gabriela need a little attention.

"Damn it, where's that toy mouse!"