Monday, January 26, 2015

Flash Fiction Challenge: "Good To See You, My Dear"

About a week ago, I received this through Google.  It seemed to be an invite ... an invite to do something I truly enjoy ... writing a fiction story.  Here, read it for yourself:

"Your mission if you chose to accept it: Incorporate the above image into a mysterious flash fiction story of 1500 words or less. If you know of anyone who would be interested, please extend the invite to them.

You'll write your post on your blog and share it here. We'll read each others words and it'll be a lovely way to bring in the new year."

And, here's the image:


So now, I bring to you my little story.  I hope you enjoy!

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Good To See You, My Dear

You're walking faster tonight. You must be feeling the cold. Are you thinking about how warm it was earlier today when the sun was shining ever so bright?

Do you realize that when you walk you twist your right hip outwards an inch or so? It's not unattractive, so don't feel embarrassed by it. In fact, it gives your butt a little side bounce. Kind of turns me on a little. Actually, it turns me on a lot!

I first noticed it a couple of weeks ago when you walked home from the grocery store. Your arms, so full of plastic bags, made you look so helpless. I could have grabbed you then, but I didn't. I enjoy savoring the view for a while before indulging in the meal, if you know what I mean.

You live in the apartment building just across the street from me. Every night I watch you come home. You rotate out and pull both your legs out of the car at once, instead of one at a time, and stand up in one continuous motion. How you achieve that with your purse and computer case in your arms is beyond me. You're really in great shape!

I bet it's because of the exercises you go through each morning. You get out of bed, yawning and stretching as you stand in the glow of the morning sun by the side of your bed. Then, without even dressing, you start right in with the toe touches and the jumping jacks. I love the way your nightie bounces atop your boobs. It makes getting up early worth it for me.

One might say I'm obsessed with you. Well, I guess I am.

You're so naive as to how beautiful you are. I watch you changing outfits over and over in the morning, trying to find exactly the right combination before you go out. My dear, you look good in anything … or nothing.

Okay, time to stop those thoughts. I won't be able to walk if I keep that up. I think I need to start wearing boxer shorts instead of briefs. Watching you makes one realize how restrictive briefs really are.

You really must stop letting people spend time at your apartment, though. They're taking advantage of your kindness while you're gone during the day. It makes me so mad to see them hanging out with their friends, smoking dope while you're working hard to make ends meet. I'm guessing you're wondering where your friend with the short brown hair has gotten off to, aren't you? Don't worry, I saw her going into your top dresser drawer and stealing some cash from you. I made sure that won't ever happen again.

She didn't struggle that much. Almost not worth the effort.

And, that overweight woman with the dyed blonde hair that stayed with you a week or two ago is a nosy bitch. I'm guessing she's your mother, or perhaps an aunt from the way you greeted her. Dyed hair and too many wrinkles to be anything else, she was. I had to laugh at the way you seemed so happy to see her and then went into your bedroom and covered your ears with your hands as if to say, “Damn, just shut up and go back home!”

And, when you left for work she searched every drawer and closet in your apartment. Yeah, she found your pot, and even smoked a little of it, just in case you notice you're running a little short next time you light up. She also found your vibrator. But, don't worry, she didn't try it anywhere but on her right boob. She turned it on, smiled when it started and rolled it over her boob again and again. She must have giggled for five minutes before finally shutting it off. Funny, she looked like she hated to put it away. She probably bought one on the way home. Wanna bet?

And, while we're talking about people in your life, your boyfriend is a real jerk. Seriously, it seems like every time you two are talking about something and you leave the room to go to the kitchen or bathroom, he gives you a two handed bird. Yep! Both middle fingers raised in statuesque form as he mouths “Fuck You” over and over. He really does have anger issues.

You could really do so much better than him. He mistreats you all the time. And, don't tell me he doesn't. I see your face. You look like you want so much more than he can offer. He comes over, eats your food, watches your television, and then uses your body to get himself off, not caring if you reach your peak or not. You deserve so much more.

Why do you think I'm here, anyway?

It seems like I've waited so long … so long. Each day, I watch you from the darkness of my apartment. I even painted my living room black so you couldn't make me out when my lights were off. Sometimes I pull out my telescope. Other times, my binoculars give me a better view of you. But, that's only when I watch you from afar.

Am I so boring that you never see me? I'm always following you, but you never even know I'm there. At first, this made me mad. I'd ask myself, “Why don't you notice me? Am I not good enough for you?”

Then, I decided to use it to my advantage. Like, following you around in the grocery store. God, I love rolling my cart past you and smelling of the scent of your perfume. And once, you even turned away from the meat counter and bumped into me. I gave you a quick “Excuse me” and you gave me a head nod without even a smile or a single word. It hurt me that you didn't feel I was worth saying anything to, but I got over it. All, it took, was seeing you bend over the side of your grocery cart at the checkout and I nearly climaxed.

Struggling, as you do, to get those tight jeans on, is really worth the look they give your ass.

Too bad your boyfriend doesn't appreciate what you have to offer. Yeah, I saw the fight you two had earlier tonight. He hit you a couple of times, didn't he? Then he left you on the floor, crying and in pain.

I took care of the bastard for you. He went out into the alley to smoke as he has before. Of course, that's when he gets on the phone and calls someone that always makes him smile and grab his junk. I'm guessing it's another woman.

So, I simply walked up behind him and stabbed him in the back.  The knife barely scraped bone.  It was perfect!  

You should have seen the look in his eyes as he turned around, dropped the phone, fell to his knees, and tried to reach the knife with his hands. He couldn't do it, though. I'd made sure to stick it right in the middle so that he couldn't. Then, when he finally stopped thrashing around, I moved him off to the side, behind the garbage bin. He won't be noticed until the city picks up the trash.

I was going back to my apartment when I saw you. I'm guessing you just needed a walk … time to think a little. Maybe I do too. Maybe I just wanted to watch you twist your hips. Maybe I decided it's time for me to stop being invisible.

So, I followed you.

You really seem wrapped up in your thoughts. So much so that you don't even hear me coming up behind you. The closer I get I can hear you mumbling about how much you hate him. You seem angrier than I've ever seen you before. You deserve peace. You deserve to know what it feels like to have someone love you so much they'd do anything to stop your suffering. One that cherished you so much they'd even go the entire distance to send you into the afterlife, where the warmth of the sun doesn't seem like just a memory.

And then, I'll move on and find another.

Good, we're now on the bridge. A few more steps and we'll be directly in the center of the river.

Feel like a final swim?



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Please leave comments and let me know what you think!

Ciao!

Friday, January 23, 2015

TTOT ... Are You Being Watched ... legally ...also, ISIS, Kentucky Bonnie And Clyde, and Doomsday Clock! Smile!

Visit All TTOT Posts HERE!!!!
In 1949, George Orwell had the vision to see the future.  

It was not an optimistic vision.

In his novel, "1984", he forecast a day when the government would be able to control mankind through a network of inspection points, video monitoring, and other means.  

Could this be happening now?

You laugh ... or chuckle and shake your head "no" at that.  But, do you really believe that it's not occurring?

What do you say, "Let's get paranoid!"


It is speculated that the future will depend on a new technology.  This isn't a technology of voluntary efforts, but rather one that tracks everything you do in life.  A technology that will collect information about you in all facets of your life.  

There will be NO SECRETS!   Nor, will there be any privacy (as if you have any now if you're married).

If you go to a porn site on the web, this will be collected into your personal history.  If you talk badly about the government, this too will be entered.  If you use your credit card to purchase feminine hygiene products, you'll find this also in your collected history. 

Okay, guys, that makes you wonder about picking up those "special" items for your wife at the department store, doesn't it?


The information collected will be used to build a new "status" for eachindividual.  This status will be called, "Collected Reputation."  


Now, guess what it will be used for?

Employers will use this information for the purpose of deciding to hire you or not.  Talk badly about big business and you might find yourself in the unemployment line for a long time.  Speak harshly about the government and the NSA may be knocking on your door.  Use profanity on Facebook and the masses of the religious may swarm to your door to show you the way to repentance.  

And, that's just the beginning.

Personal privacy will become nonexistent.  The chips in your arms, the cards in your wallet, the phone in your pocket, and the travels on the Internet will all become public information.  "Will all become" ... excuse me, "ARE" public information.


Now, aren't you sorry you went to that porn site last night?


Already, tracking cookies are following you.  Have you noticed how the advertising you see on Facebook generally comes from places you've visited on the web?  Yep, they know you've been there and want you to come back.  So, while you were there, a tracking cookie was attached to you.  Now, it can follow you, see where else you go, count the number of times you return to its location, and present more of its products to you in the side advertising bars of various websites like Amazon.com.

Technology ... Big Brother Is Watching ... and "Where You Lead I Will Follow!"  Just another way to control the populace and take away man's rights to privacy.  Remember, cattle have no secrets on the way to the slaughterhouse!


Dontchajesluvit!


Oh, and be careful going to porn sites!

Anyway, it's time to be thankful, tens times over and ten times under!  There are so many items to discuss this week.  Let's see what we can come up with!


THIS WEEK I'M THANKFUL FOR:

1)  ISIS Video Productions.  Could ISIS be getting into faking video productions?  Experts are looking into the fact that the recent video taken of two Japanese prisoners seems to have been faked!

Although stated that the video has been taken in the same surroundings as the previous ones, experts are looking at this and finding that there is light coming from two sources.  Now, unless the Earth has changed solar systems and we are now receiving light sources from two suns, this video was obviously made indoors with a backdrop of the desert.


"It's my guess that the security agencies are spending most of their time investigating the "change of the solar system" idea, 
rather than the other.  
Perhaps George Lucas should be consulted.  
If he's not available, there's always Jar Jar Binks!"

2)  Northeastern Snowstorm.  A snowstorm is forecast for this weekend to hit the Northeastern United States.  Some say that as much as eight inches of snow may fall.  The storm system was created because it is Winter and things like this happen during this season!  Duhhhh!!!!


"Anyone here wanna shoot an ISIS production video?"

3)  McDonald's To Eliminate Menu Items?   Allover the nation, McDonalds stores are screaming for corporate headquarters to eliminate two major areas of the menu.  


"Get rid of the Cafe" and 
get rid of the Happy Meals!

Parents and kids are screaming all over the world, "Don't get rid of my Happy Meal!"           

It seems that neither product seems to be a major area of concern to the company who feels best looking at a plate full of profits, instead of a plate or cup full of product.

So, have we seen the last of the Happy Meal?   

Remember, this is the meal that hooks many of our children on McDonald's in the first place.  Hooks them into the world of fast food munchies and obesity.   The meal that gives a token toy for inhaling the food that is bad for children and adults to consume.


I think I'm going to go purchase a Happy Meal right now, 
and be prepared if they do cut these food items.  
Let's see, I wonder if a Happy Meal will have 
enough preservatives to store it until 2034?  

4)  Clinton Film Stalled.  A documentary film by Martin Scorsese about President Bill Clinton's time in office has bee shelved.  One would assume it's because of artistic differences, and the fact that Scorsese wanted to present things truthfully, to which no politician would agree.  

It's my guess that Hilary put an end to the filming.  It might not set too well to have old memories of infidelity and blue dresses brought up during her run for the presidency.  

Anyone need some mouthwash?

5)  Carl Jr's Superbowl Ad.  Once again, Carl Jr's will be doing it for the men at the Superbowl!  Yep, there's a regional commercial for the Western Untited States that shows an attractive young lady eating a hamburger.  Problem for some is that the hamburger is dressed up more than the lady!

I'm not sure what the hamburger name is, how much it costs, 
or if it's even available in this area.  It's not my business to 
tell Carl Jr's how to make their hamburgers,
 but, like most male members of society,
 I can't argue with the way they make their commercials.

Anyone for a hamburger?

6)  Bill Belichick.  The head football coach of the New EnglandPatriots seems to be getting lessons on how to avoid controversy from politicians.  Amid the questioning on why 12 of 14 footballs were found to have two pounds less air in them than allowed by the NFL (making them softer to catch and such), good ol' Bill side stepped and basically said, "You'll have to ask my quarterback, Tom Brady about that."

It seems as though even NFL coaches are not immune to society's curse of "Blame Shifting" these days.  Although, let's remember that Belichick has only been in the NFL for forty years, so there's probably a lot he doesn't know.  (cough, cough)

Just think, Bill, it's only two years until the next elections take place.  
That's plenty of time for you to tune up your game and run for political office.  You should do just fine!

7)  Doomsday Clock.   Due to global warming, the threat of nuclear war, and man's insistence to ignore all warnings, the Doomsday Clock is now set at three minutes to midnight.  Never has it been this close to forcasting total destruction of the human race.

The Doomsday Clock is operated by a group of Atomic Scientists who measure facets of society, the environment, and natural history.  It is their position to try to keep the world from avoiding catastrophic disaster.  Could it be that their funding was cut back that has brought forth this fury and wrath?  Or, could it be a real warning of things to come?

Hell, forget about paying bills and just party!  
It's all almost over!


8)  Abortion Bill Takes Funds.    It's called the "No Taxpayor Funding For Abortion Act" bill.  On the anniversary of "Roe vs. Wade", Republicans in the House Of Representatives passed a bill to cut any public funding for abortions.  

It should have been named the "You Play, You Pay" Bill!

No, I'm not a Republican.  Nor am I a Democrat.  I'm an American that is fed up paying for kids having kids and ignoring the fact that we all have a certain amount of personal accountability for us to be responsible.  

Still, let's remember that most of the kids being born these days are in homes where common sense doesn't exist.  Single parent households where the parent is still in junior high school for the most part.  Do we want to keep these folks from having a possible abortion and saving the world from having more and more stupid people?

I guess the government thinks so.  Just goes to show they really do want the masses to be more stupid.  Without active thinkers, it's so much easier to get over on the public!  Thus, forget any chance of the bill not passing in the Senate!

So, take the dip and breed another welfare slip!
You gotta love our country, don't you?

9)  Bill Cosby.  Damn it, did you or didn't you?  There is a few getting ready to take you to court.  Let's just put it all out on the table and be straight!  You're not a politician so that should be simple.  Sit down and have a cup Jello with me and we'll talk about this.  What? The Jello tastes a little funny?  And, you're getting sleepy?  Just out of curiosity, Bill, do you wear boxers or briefs?  

10)  NO, we're not Bonnie and Clyde.   This last week, a couple of teenagers from Kentucky (must have been inbreds) decided they were in love and wanted to get away.  So, they stole a truck, then another, and then another, went to a Walmart in Georgia and cashed a bad check, and were finally picked up in Florida sleeping in one of the stolen trucks.  Now, they're back in Kentucky getting charged for their crimes.  Trouble is, the girl lied to the guy time and time again, and told him she was of age.  Well, she was ... of age thirteen!  So, now the teenage boy has a rape charge against him, too!


Too bad she wasn't his sister!  They'd have gotten away with it then!


Okay, that's it for another week of being thankful.  Sorry this one may seem a little rushed (it was) but I completely ran out of time this week.  Give me another chance next week and I promise I'll eather do better or nothing at all!  


Ciao!


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Friday, January 16, 2015

Achy Breaky Hand, The Return of The Fruitcake, Marlboro Man Gone and Presidential Oops! It's Ten Things Of Thankful!

Visit All TTOT Posts HERE!!!!

Did you ever unknowingly injure your hand?

My left hand, more specifically the small and ring fingers and the muscles in the palm underneath, have ached and ached for days.  


And, for the perverted minded,
I'm right handed 

This makes typing difficult.  Not only is there pain to deal with (okay, okay, nothing like giving birth, I'm sure, but still it aches with any movement) but the fingers already mentioned (if you were reading instead of skimming you'd know the two I'm talking about) are extremely stiff.  

And, for the perverted minded, 
the fingers are all that's stiff.

I'm lucky that only my hand hurts.  I could be a politician and have to worry about my nose growing every time I opened my mouth.  What do you think the odds are that most of them have a nose job done fairly regularly because of that.  I'm guessing that's why none attended the anti terrorist peace rally in Paris last weekend.  They couldn't fit in the seating area of the plane without sticking their noses in the aisle and goosing the flight attendant every time he walked by.


And, for the perverted minded,
 I don't goosestep like the German Army.

I've heard of people making wild and passionate love for hours and hours.  (Actually, I used to hear them do that when I stayed in hotels fairly often.  Strange but True!)  The moans and the groans were not moans and groans of pain, but instead, moans and groans of knowing their spouses were somewhere else and they could enjoy sex without having to get up and take out the garbage afterwards.    



And, for the perverted minded, 
I haven't moaned or groaned in years. 


 (Damn it!!)

My grandmother used to tell me that she was always faithful to my grandfather until he died, and then she slept with two men every night, Art H. Ritus  and Ben Gay.  (I found out later that she was lying to me as that was a joke she'd stolen from a Reader's Digest Condensed Book of old.  I think it was the same one that asked, "How do you catch a unique bird?" Ans:  "U nique up on it!" )  


However, my grandmother used to moan and groan every time she either sat, or got up from her special rocking chair.  I think it was because she'd sit in the chair for hours rocking, remembering the days when her and my grandfather used to moan and groan in hotel rooms.  Over the years, the memories had turned to hemorrhoids and became a real pain in the ass.  As my grandmother was not a small woman, neither was the size of her ass, or her hemorrhoids (I can only imagine), and neither was the pain they provided.  I know my grandmother was never a flight attendant, but I'm not sure about her ass's relationship with politicians and their magical growing noses.    



And, for the perverted minded, 
how dare you envision my grandmother's ass!  

Man, would you believe my left hand still hurts?


I might have injured it while attempting to pick up a box that had been delivered by a UPS driver today.  His note said:  



"We have weight restrictions.  The next time you decide to 
have Stonehenge moved from England to Kentucky, hire FedEx."

I rediscovered the pain in my hand trying to pick up the box.  After enlisting my neighbor's construction crane, we managed to lift the box upon a four wheeled cart, roll it into my kitchen, spend three hours cutting through the twenty-five rolls of tape it was wrapped in, and finally was able to see what was inside.

I'm on my way to a Kentucky Stonehenge!!!!!

***HOMEMADE FRUITCAKE!!!!***

I couldn't believe it!  After talking about how much I loved fruitcake in last week's post, one of my most faithful readers, Zoe, took the time and went to the expense not only to make it for me, but to also send it to me.  Damn, postage alone had to be over $100 just because of how heavy it is!  And, good ... oh my god, it is fantastic!  Thank you so much, Zoe!  My taste buds thank you, I thank you, and my diabetes ... well, two out of three isn't bad, is it?  

Okay, so besides my achy hand and Zoe's phenomenal treat, 
this week I'm thankful for:

1)  Presidential Oops!   As I wrote about earlier this week (in a post that almost no one saw) the United States was negligent in sending any leader to the Paris March against terrorism.  It wasn't that the President or Vice President were busy.  In fact, their agendas were empty for the weekend.  No, they just blew it!  Or, perhaps, they just blew it off!

Over forty leaders from world countries participated in an effort to show
Only 50 cents for Freedom Fries!
They're for people who can't spell
"F-R-E-N-C-H"
unity against the destruction and lack of human compassion terrorism displays.  In the wake of the Paris terrorist actions of last week, it would have shown great class to have been a part of the scene.  However, in constantly lacking any type of class, our government leaders decided to sit at home, rest their asses in easy chairs, and watch football playoffs.

To make matters worse, no apology has been, or will be issued.  In fact, John Kerry is now heading to Paris to give them what he thinks they really need, "a big hug."  

(I think I'd tell him what he could do with that big hug if I were a leader of France.  I also believe that I'd invite him to a state dinner, put a plate of French Fries down in front of him, and ask him how the damn "Freedom Fries" were tasting.  Then, as a climax, take him a covered dish, remove the lid, and display a cooked crow, just in case he was ready to eat some.  Dumb Ass Politicians!)

85 Years Old Sounds Pretty
Damn Good To Me!
2)  Darrell Hugh Winfield Dies at age 85.   Darrell Hugh Winfield, better known as "The Marlboro Man" died this week at the ripe old age of 85.  Darrell was the face of Marlboro cigarettes from the late 60's to the late 80's, making the smoking of filtered cigarettes acceptable to men.

As I sit here, smoking my Marlboro Special Blend Light 100, I can only remember my aunt and uncle, both of which died after giving up cigarettes.  I don't know if active smoking keeps the body producing cancer fighting corpuscles or not, but after seeing those relatives suffer, I'm willing to give it a try and continue to smoke.  Besides, as long as you're coughing, you're alive!

3)  Young Doctors.  I don't know if anyone else has had their long time doctor retire on them or not, but it's not a happy occasion.  A doctor knows you personally, works with you hand in hand to ensure you get better, and provides some small talk to make the experience somewhat more pleasurable.

Take two bottles of formula
and call me in the morning!
I went to my new "young" doctor this week.  Damn, what a wake up call!

First, I go to female doctors.  No, it's not because I'm trying to sway them with my untouchable intelligence or James Bond good looks.  In fact, if that was what I had to depend on I'd be in trouble.  No, I go to female doctors to keep their fingers out of my butt!

I don't know what it is about male doctors, but every time I visited one, they wanted to give me a prostate exam.  I even went to a specialist two weeks after having a prostate exam for a completely unrelated matter, and he damn near forced me into allowing him rear access.  Either I've got and exceptionally cute butt to male doctors, or they're all in cahoots to cash in big by charging the insurance companies for something that should be kept to prison systems and San Francisco residents!

Anyway, my new doctor is a young female ... I think.  Actually, she's more like a damn robot.  Question ... answer ... question ... answer ... no small talk, no bedside manner, no nothing!  She either thinks she's a god of some type being a doctor, or she hates men!  Either way, she won't be getting any more of my business.  If you're going to collect big bucks from me, you'd at least better communicate in a friendly manner and keep your steel bedpan personality to yourself!  Bitch!

If you think our Pizza is loaded,
wait until you check out
our employees pistols!
4)  Papa John's To Stand By Employee.  In a rare move, Papa John's is showing that it is a company with the balls to stand up to all the cry babies and keep an employee employed.

A delivery driver, who was being robbed at gunpoint, pulled out a pistol and shot one of her robbers in the face.  He was later found and arrested.  The other robber stole her car while this was taking place.

Even though she was breaking the rules of the company by carrying a firearm, Papa John's management says they are not going to fire her as the safety of their employees comes first.  In fact, they're going to re-assign her to a position inside their store, instead of doing deliveries.  In addition, they're going to get her counseling to help her deal with the event.

It's nice to see a company stand tall against crooked lawyers and thieves and look at their employees as valuable assets for a change!

In a related story, another Papa John's driver was held up 
this week in St. Louis.  The robber made off in a white truck.  Anyone seeing a person in a white truck resembling 
Al Sharpton is advised to call the authorities.

5)  Pope Francis Says There Are Limits.  Freedom of speech has been the question after the attack at the French magazine offices last week.  Can you make fun of the God of others and not expect them to be upset?
Listen to me, I make sense!

"There are limits" says the Pope.  


To make a long story short, if you disrespect someone or something, expect those that worship it to be upset.  Now, common sense should tell you that it is never right to kill in the name of religion.  Still, use that common sense to show a little respect.



(Damn, here is a Pope, a man of God, telling people to use a little common sense.  I think he and God need to get a little more into this discussion.  In fact, I'd love to be there when God tells the Pope that in today's world, there is little to no common sense in society's actions.  Actually, a display of common sense happens about as often as someone wins the Powerball Lottery and keeps their job.  Hey, God, gotta second?")


6)  RadioShack or just Shack?   RadioShack, once an electronics giant, is getting ready to file for bankruptcy.  Competition from online marketers and major electronics warehouses has proven to be just too much for the struggling retailer.  



When we're gone, who will you have
to joke about, besides politicians,
Miley Cyrus' boobs, and
Justa Beaver?
I worked at a RadioShack for over a year while in college.  You didn't make much money there as it was more geared for managers to survive.  Still, you got to work with the latest electronics, act like a stereo expert when parents and the elderly came in to purchase an all in one unit, and you had a future in being able to get the flashing "12" off of any digital screen without sweating.  

No, I wasn't the one in the short sleeve shirt with plastic pocket protector and tie.  I wore my torn jeans, blue jean vest, and modestly decorated shirt most of the time.  My hair was on my shoulders, my mustache and goatee were showing hope of someday reaching puberty, and I was voted the one most likely to be able to find some pot for after work parties.  Life was grand.



I hate to see RadioShack go.  It holds a lot of foggy memories for me.  Still, without it, how would I have ever developed my philosophy that pot will get you through times of no money better than money would get you through times of no pot?

7)  Keith Richards Unimpressed With Justa Beaver (Oops, Justin Bieber).  71 year old Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones saw Justin Bieber during an island vacation recently.  After a few quips with each other, Justin went over to Keith and tried to communicate.  Richards looked at Beaver (Oops, Bieber) and said, "Let's get one thing straight. You're just a wannabe."



(My respect for Keith Richards has just grown tremendously.
  Obviously, all the drug usage over the years hasn't had nearly 
the affect on his brain cells as previously thought!)

8)  Cardale Jones To Return To School.  Unlike so many dumb kids these days, Cardale Jones will be returning to Ohio State next year.  Cardale, Quarterback of the National Champion Ohio State Buckeyes, won the Big Ten Title, a NCAA Playoff Game against highly ranked Alabama, and finally, won the National Championship against Oregon in his only three starts of the season.



"Finally, a kid with some common sense! How rare is that?"

Too many athletes are going to college for one year and then turning to the professional ranks these days.  Too many coaches are using ballplayers to advance their own careers, and not looking at the maturity level of the kids they promise parents they'll keep their best interests in mind.  The kids end up not being ready for the professional ranks, failing to make squads, and being cast aside like a used and dirty napkin.


Many claim the "one and done" is now a way of life.  One major university I've very familiar with has practiced this for years in their basketball program.  The coach states, "I make millionaires."  Truth is, he's a millionaire and many of the kids he's coached are now out of the pros and having to figure out how to survive.


Survive?  After a huge signing bonus?  Give an 18 or 19 year old kid a huge amount of money and watch them squander it away.  Gold chains, big cars, homes they can't afford to pay for, and partying will make a rich man poor before you know it.  And that's just what's happening to the kids.  


In fact, out of all the players this coach has sent to the pros, only six are still actively playing today.  But, the coach still has his multi million dollar contract, multi million dollar house, and multi million dollar bank account.



How many millionaires, coach?  

At least this one had more sense than the ones you've recruited.

9)  Less Tax Audits Forecast.  With Obamacare questions mounting up for taxpayers, the I.R.S. will have 1,800 less representatives available to answer questions.  Congressional budget cuts made having representatives available for answering questions a thing of the pass, as it is also forecast that less that 50% of those that call will ever reach a human being.


However, this also means there will be fewer people audited in the upcoming year.  It is estimated that less than 1% of the public will go through audits.


"Having an audit is like going to a proctologist.  The more they find the deeper they search and the more it hurts!" 
(That's my line, copyrighted, just in case you want to steal it.)


So, this year, act like the leaders of this great nation.  Lie like hell on your tax returns, plead ignorance and budget cuts created any confusion, and go buy yourself a new home!


10)  40 Year Secret.  In the back of a Los Angeles residence, a 40 year secret came to an end.  An eight foot alligator was found living there.  Unfortunately, in the box with the alligator, were the remains of two dead cats.  Investigators are asking members of the neighborhood that have lost pets over the past 40 years to step forward.


Seriously, is this really national news?  Exotics are kept in various places throughout the United States.  Keepers recognize what they have, and either keep it safe and secure, or end up as its meal.  It's really quite that simple.


I kept venomous reptiles for many years.  I bought professional cages, had procedures typed out in case I was bitten and couldn't speak, and kept them under lock and key.  When the state made it illegal to keep them (due to their own liability concerns) several things occurred.


1)  People that had them didn't always get rid of them.  Many had grown to love their pets, much as a dog or cat lover would.  This made a person that had a pet and cared for that animal responsibly a criminal.  There are far worse criminal to pursue than an animal lover.


2)  Anyone that did experience an escape would no longer notify the community for fear of imprisonment.  Previously, one would notify all to make sure safety came first.  After the law went into affect, no one would be notified, and the community (the state had stated they were protecting) became less protected than ever before.


3)  Big business won ... again!  Many of the individuals keeping these animals had facilities that were more secure than various zoological societies require.  Yet, the societies looked at them as competition.  Why would anyone pay to see animals at a big zoo where they can be mistreated behind closed gates, when they could see animals that were loved as a small zoo?  Even small zoos that had just become approved by these societies said, "Hell, even though that's how I got my start, let's keep others from being able to do the same!"  Big business again rules and the little guy loses.


4)  Horror stories hit the air.  Animal Planet and other stations started carrying shows that were produced by these societies like Fatal Attraction.  These shows were to only display the negatives of animal keeping, tainting the air for the survival of smaller facilities.  And, like the web, everything you see on television is always true.


(In a world that preaches personal freedoms, more and more restrictions are being imposed everyday by our governments.  Unless we stop this soon, you'll be told what to say, when to say it, and how to live your life by these rules.  I'll be dead by then, but many will not.  I hope you love the world society is now creating.  Remember, one day, it will be too late to learn from your mistakes.  That is, unless you're dead like I'll be, and then, it really doesn't matter much!)


*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

So, another week of thankful has bit the dust.

Two things, remember, our book will soon be coming out,
so save your pennies.

Another is there will be a thousand cries of compassion in 
late February.  This could be a good thing, and even though 
I'm far from what one might consider compassionate, I'm 
going to participate.  I know Lizzi has all the details, so 
get with her and visit the Facebook page to learn all about it!

Till next week,

Ciao!



Monday, January 12, 2015

Paris Rally Against Terrorism ... Oh Where Oh Where Has Our Leadership Hid ....

Where's the United States At?
Aren't they the supposed leader
against world terrorism?
This last Saturday, more than a million people, including 40 world leaders, rallied in Paris, France and marched in a show of unity against world terrorism.  It was a moment for the world to stand up and tell terrorists that they will no longer be tolerated, and that their type of anti social behavior is unacceptable.

This last Friday, President Obama was in Tennessee.  According to his public schedule  (Schedule of the President), he was due to arrive at the South Lawn of the White House at 5:45 p.m.  There was no public schedule on his agenda for Saturday or Sunday.

My guess is that he was in front of his television watching the NFL Playoffs, munching on a hamburger and "Freedom" fries, and ignoring Michelle's showing off of her new French designer gown she'd purchased for the next big event at the White House.

"Yeah, I'd love to be there, but I've got
$50 bucks bet on today's game and
$50 on tomorrow's.  Damn straight
I'm gonna be watching!"
This would usually fall to the Vice President if the President was unable to make it.  However, there is no word on where the Vice President was during the weekend, either.  It seems as though the United States just doesn't care about an international show of unity against terrorism and its principles.

Now, here's a thought for you.  One that may not be popular, but one that when thought about could be justified and unfortunately correct.


Could it be because as long as terrorism exists, the United States government can get away with doing just about anything?

If you've been around long enough to remember the days of the U.S.S.R., you'll remember that the United States couldn't get away with a lot of the crap they pull today.  Why?  Because the U.S.S.R. was one foe that could stand up to them and say, "What the hell do you think you're trying to pull?  Get your ass back home unless you want nuked!"

Nowadays, there's no one big enough to say that.  So, like a big bully, the United States, under the guise of being a foe to terrorism, does exactly what it wants, whenever it wants, without anyone being able to stop them.


In essence, the United States government needs terrorism. 

As horrible as it sounds, terrorism gives our government power.  Can you imagine how much power it would never gained without the fear of terrorism ruling the American public?  Plus, without America shivering in fear of terrorism, who would have ever accepted the invasion into personal privacy rights the Patriot Act imposed upon?  And, what other country can get away with ignoring the laws, borders and procedures of a foreign country to take out a terrorist, regardless of that country's wishes?


Doesn't say much for integrity and diplomacy, does it?

Our government still uses this fear to do what they want today!  How else could it validate the billions of dollars used to develop and expand the almighty and secret NSA, the pain in the ass TSA, and every other agency that makes up the secret police state we now reside within?


Dollars suddenly become available when fear is present!

Some of these were tricks that the old U.S.S.R. might try to pull, and the U.S. would say, "Now you know better than that.  We've got nukes, too.  Don't push us to push the button!"


Now, displaying the latest in
Washington, D.C. fashion wear,
it's the new White Hat Series for
the politicians who don't give a damn!
Notice how each held each other in check.  Now, there's only one truly big kid on the block, and he can pretty much do as he wants.

So, is the United States accepting the role of the "bad guy" here?  Of course not!  Being a country of lawyers (mostly crooked ones employed by the government in one form or another), we will always find a legal loophole to get what we want, and still make it appear as though we're wearing the "white hats" of sorts.  Even when Americans are killed via acts of terrorism, they are simply discarded as "casualties in the war", form letters sent out by the White House, and the game continues.

Of course, there are those in the world not afraid of the United States and the legal impotence it presents.  These countries show little respect to our government and have no regard to the color of the hats they show.  One of these countries was a primary part of our old Cold War foe, now simply just known as Russia!

The U.S. doesn't like the current Russian leadership.  There's no secret about that.  Not only does our politicians and news agencies insult and minimize Russia's President's Vladimir Putin's importance, he is made to look like a complete ass for standing up for his country and it's belief structure.  Granted, some of the things he comes up with don't need a whole lot of help to demonstrate he is somewhat of an ass (such as Russia's recent homophobic driver's licensing laws), but all in all, the man is proud of his country and wants to see it regain the world status it once had.  For that, you've got to be impressed.


"Germany ... here,  Pakistan ... here ...
United States ... United States ...
Okay, where's the leaders from the U.S.?
By the way, Russia sent their Foreign Minister to the rally.  Israel and Great Britain sent their Prime Ministers.  In fact, most countries sent either their top people or extremely highly ranked leaders there.

The United States let their "live in" Ambassador to France, Jane Hartley, represent our country.  She's not a football fan.

Sorry, Planet Earth, no one in Washington of any importance could get the White House to spring for a plane ticket.  Besides, there are other NFL fans besides the President in Washington, and a weekend is a weekend!

Perhaps, if France would have decided to present the rally on a weekday, attendance from the United States may have been better.  Besides the football playoffs having been played, what politician wouldn't love to have a good excuse to keep from doing any work?


Oh, that's right, this Congress doesn't need an excuse!  


(*I wonder if who won the $50?)