Saturday, August 22, 2015

Ten Things Of Thankful and "Cecil ... Bang, Bang, The Dentist Doesn't Use Novacaine!"


A lion is dead.

Cecil is no more.

People are generally afraid of lions as they will attack and eat humans, as well as other animals if the opportunity arises and they're hungry.  You know, top of the food chain stuff!

That's why they have 
the title 
However, our society has now made a martyr of this animal and presented him as if he had been a loving and common housecat.  I'm sure some would even have purchased him a toy mouse if they could've.

We are all crazy as hell these days!

Cecil became accustomed to human beings gawking and taking pictures of him. (He probably didn't like it much, but put up with it to maintain his celebrity status.)  Also, he knew he could easily take one down in a second if they'd have ventured too close.  His fear of man had vanished.

It was his downfall.

The King of the Beasts died over the course of two long and torturous days before being skinned and beheaded at the hands of a bow and arrow /rifle illegally hunting dentist with an obsession to destroy more than the plaque on huge incisors.  
Great White
Root Canal Hunter

Now you know why I've never trusted dentists.

I was always told that people became dentists because they didn't have the intelligence to become true medical doctors.  The idea of a person that can't pass medical school putting their hands in my mouth is not an appealing thought.

Another guy I know that couldn't pass a medical exam works for a company that sets up and takes down portable potties.

I don't want his hands in my mouth either.

Perhaps an older and wiser Cecil would have been familiar with the "Great White Hunter" phrase that filled the world of adventure and hunting television shows in the 1950's and '60's.  We were shown expedition after expedition traveling to Africa in hopes of killing the "wild and dangerous beasts" that resided there.  

But, Cecil was no cowardly lion.

When I was a youngster, I conquered the world of crows with my Daisy BB Gun by shooting down as many as I could.  I never liked crows so I had no regrets.  

Who could like a bird that would caw instead of tweet, and would crap on you any chance they got?  They're like the noisy, diarrhea dropping cockroaches of the sky.

One day, I took on bigger game.  Like Elmer Fudd, I shot a rabbit.

I Finally Find Out What Happened
To My Brother!  You Bastard!
Having been shot with a BB gun by my more than adventurous, and slightly sadistic neighbor's kid, I didn't think that the BB would pierce the skin of the rabbit.  It might leave a welt, but that would be the maximum injury incurred.  

My BB hit the rabbit right behind the ear and entered the skull.  He awkwardly fell to his side and started kicking his rear legs in hopes of escaping his fate.  Sad thing was all his feet found beneath them was air.

Feeling immediate regret for my act, I tried to figure out what I could do to save the rabbit's life.  So, in the thought/ logic pattern of the child I was, I ran to the house, grabbed a huge cardboard box, put the rabbit inside of it, and hurried to the garden to get some lettuce for it to eat. 

Unfortunately, I returned to find the rabbit had hemorrhaged and was dead.

Believe it or not I sat there with tears in my eyes.

It was the last animal I ever shot.

Later in life, when I hunted for venomous snakes, I did so with a grab stick and a snake hook.  I brought them back alive to the venom lab so they could be used to supply venom for scientific research in the stoppage of Alzheimer's disease and skin cancer. 

I wonder how many that protested the killing of Cecil would tell me that they'd
 kill a venomous snake in an instant if they found one in their back yard?  
I guess they can only love something warm and fuzzy. 
(Perhaps it's time they examine their love of animals?)

No, I no longer use a gun to hunt.

Yet, I admit I am a hypocrite as I eat meat and let others do the killing for me.  I will continue to do so because I enjoy the taste and believe it nutritious for my body. I, like most, don't often think about how the animals are terminated or forced to live.  It's not because I don't care.  It is because the "super" livestock houses ran the small farmer out of business and they're all we have left.  If one wishes to continue to eat meat, one has little choice as to how it lives or where it comes from these days.

I won't condone or condemn hunting.  I see the need of hunting for population control at times, otherwise nature would end up in more of a quandary than we've already made it. Also, some places in the world do still hunt to provide food for the table.  

But, for those that would love to contribute thousands of dollars for the thrill of the danger in the hunt, let them do so on an equal level with the beasts they hunt.  In other words, go after them without any weapons.  Put down your damn sniper's rifle and prove how really brave you are!

Or, would you simply prefer doing root canals?

That's what I thought you'd say.

Don't forget to floss!

Ten Things Of Thankful!!!

Yes, I have been absent from posting for quite some time.  Along with some family dramas, I grew tired of each week's post sounding like the prior weeks again and again.  Thus, I took a break from writing for a couple of months.

I've changed my "thankfuls" to being much shorter and to the point.  Humor through sarcasm takes time to develop.  But, since most readers only scan, they miss many of the jokes and points made anyway.

So, here is my newly revamped format for 

Ten Things of Thankful!

This week, I'm thankful for...

1)  ...the #AllLivesMatter movement showing their true colors.  An unarmed, nineteen-year-old white male, Zachary Hammond, was shot and killed by a police officer in South Carolina while he was attempting to purchase a small bag of marijuana from an undercover officer.  Conflicting reports and no coroner's statement, similar in situation to others killed that brought national attention.

So, where are the protesters, the looting and the rioting?  Giving credit where credit is due, #BlackLivesMatter has acknowledged the incident, but no protests were rendered and the crowd inciting press has been noticeably absent.  Why?

Sometimes, no action speaks louder than words.  
Hypocritically sad, isn't it?

Guess #AllLivesMatter should change their name to 

2)  ...Eli Goodrich demonstrating that ultimately it is the man that kills, not the weapon.  Eli got into an argument with his father, grabbed a sword, and fatally stabbed him to death.  As this occurred in Philadelphia, I'm sure guns would have been easy to procure, which would have continued being a newsworthy spur to continue the gun control movement. 

I'm still awaiting opponents to organize legislation to mandate sword laws,
 but so far none have come forward.

I understand the Sword Swallowing Lobby is as big as the NRA!

This news was quickly cast aside as it didn't create the 
big bang of gun related crimes.

3)  ...Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 now is known to have crashed.  For months, it was unknown what happened to this flight as it seemed to have simply vanished.  Now, a wing section has been found and identified.  No longer to we have to wonder if the 239 passengers and crew were captured by aliens or are caught in the Twilight Zone.  

Now, about that creature they'd seen tearing up the plane's wing....
(You gotta be older to understand that one!)

4)  ...Donald Trump emerging as the Republican frontrunner in the race for the presidency, and only trails Hillary Clinton by six points in the latest poll.  This is proof just how fed up the American public has become with all the politicians in Washington, D.C.  

If big business is going to buy and use all the politicians to make huge profits, 
let's just put a snotnosed businessman in office and stop all the charades.

6)  ...Subway's ex-spokesperson, Jared Fogle, has cut a plea deal and admitted that he paid others to solicit minors to have sexual relations with him.  His plea deal included paying $1.4 million and registering as a sex offender.  In addition, his wife has now filed for divorce. 

Guess we've seen the last of the 
$5 footlong and Jared unless they feature him on a
future episode of "Scared Straight."

"Five ... Five ... Five ... Five to Ten ... with good behavior..."

7)  ...hackers of the Ashley Madison website (whose purpose is to set up extra marital affairs) found that the area of the country with the highest amount of usage was the District of Columbia!  Over 15,000 email addresses came from government .gov and .mil servers.

So, the next time you're threatened by an employee of the IRS, just say,
"How would your spouse react if I told her about you and Ashley Madison?"
"It's refund time!!!!!"

8)  ...after twenty seasons as a judge on "Dancing With The Stars", Len Goodman will not be returning to the show.  

After twenty seasons of ignoring this show while my wife watched it,
I really don't give a damn.

9)  ...officials investigating Hillary Clinton's emails through her personal account have found sixty emails containing classified information and flagged over 350 more.  

Good thing she was only Secretary of State
and nothing of any importance was sent.

I'm sure half the emails concern the Scotchgarding of blue dresses.

And this is the leading Democratic Presidential Candidate?
Maybe we can talk Len Goodman into running!

10)  ...the National Safety Council's new report that shows an increase of 15% in the deaths of pedestrians over the last five years.

And, if my truck holds up to the impacts,
 it won't be long before people wise up 
and start jogging and walking on the sidewalks 
instead of in the middle of the damn streets!
Stupid Dumbasses!

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That's going to do it for this week's posting of TTOT.  
If you enjoyed, or if you didn't, leave a comment 
and let me know about it.