**This was actually written prior to last week's post, but not posted as I'd confused Halloween to be last week instead of this. So, overlook the "haven't posted in three weeks" bit and enjoy the rest ... I hope!"
Over the last three weeks, I've written three separate posts.
I've published none of them.
I thought they were good, but not excellent. They all made their points, but none of them would have received more than a slight belly chuckle from the reader.
That's not what I'm all about.
It is my goal
to make people laugh.
In the past weeks, I've written about gun control, cutbacks in Social Security, and other social topics. Again, all would have easily have been posted on many sites.
Just not here.
It gets discouraging at times when you want to make people laugh and nothing funny comes out. Like a writer's block, it's a comic's block. You hope that it will soon end, but like constipation, it has its own timetable to let the crap start flowing again.
So, since nothing funny wants to make itself known at this time, let me share with you a few tales of the supernatural ... paranormal if you will.
That's right ... encounters with the other side.
A story of a young fourteen-year-old lad that had been cast into a makeshift household. This included a stepmother with whom he constantly did battle as her selfishness for her two children created tension and hostility among all that resided there. That is, until one night when it all came to a head.
The battle was much more fierce than usual. Profanities were thrown out by both the teenager and the stepmother. Insults ensued and tempers flared to greater heights. As usual, the teenager was in the wrong, at least, as far as the stepmother was concerned. Finding no support in his father, who had turned up the television instead of acting as a mediator, the teenager turned and exited the back door of his home.
Immediately, the freezing night air reminded the teenager that he'd left with only a shirt on to face the elements. No matter. He had his anger to keep him warm.
He walked through the harvested corn fields and cow pastures that made up his back yard and his grandparents farm. Climbing barbed wire fences in the dark was tricky, but he only cut himself a couple of times as his anger kept him pushing forward.
Finally, he reached the woods. Dark and threatening as they were, he entered without a thought for his safety. Again, it was a challenge to see the fallen trees, briar patches, and border fences within, but that didn't stop him. Only his memories of an opening scene from "I Was A Teenage Werewolf" and the similarities in the location site filmed in the movie to his shadow filled surroundings put a slight chill up his spine.
Then, there it was. Two miles through fields and forest had brought him to the graveyard. Although not originally his destination, fate had brought him here. And, right in front of him, gravestone rising in the darkness, was the last resting place of his recently passed mother.
On his knees, he spewed out his anger and frustrations to his mom. Tales of being cast into a basement room that flooded when it rained, unfair distribution of allowance money and chore responsibilities, and the general hatred he felt to the invaders of his home filled the air. Tears flowed from his eyes and froze upon his chin before having a chance to drip away.
Finally, there was silence. He had no more to say.
He turned to see who was talking to him. Yet, in the darkness, there was no figure to be seen. He turned back to his mother's gravestone as if it would offer safety.
"Go Home. Everything will be alright."
Again, there it was. A male's voice rang in his ears. It was so close he could sense the breath upon his neck. But, when he turned, there was no one there.
"Go Home. Everything will be alright."
The voice came from all around him this time. It wasn't an inner voice speaking, but one that filled the air ... like from loudspeakers at a sporting event.
He rose, said goodbye to his mother, and walked to the highway bordering the graveyard. Within minutes, a car, driving slowly from the opposite direction, slowed and stopped. It was his father with all of his makeshift family. The teenager walked across the road, opened the front door, and got into the car. Nothing further was ever said about the incident.
Years later, after the military, the young man was no longer a teenager. As he was going to attend a local university, he found a great bargain on a house to rent. Four bedrooms upstairs, a huge kitchen, dining room, and living room downstairs, with bathrooms both above and below. He fell in love with the house.
After a short time, he noticed things would disappear from the living room. First, it might be a can of Coke or a pack of cigarettes. Then, it moved on to bags of pot or textbooks.
He could always find them upstairs on the floor in the center of one of the smaller bedrooms.
The back of the house had a small apartment segregated off. The girl that moved in there
hated the home. She always complained about the furnace going out and having to go down and light the pilot light when he was gone. He'd never had that happen.
One night, coming home from work, he pulled into the driveway to see the girl running out of the basement and throwing herself face first into the snow. When her boyfriend returned from taking her to the hospital, he stated that they hated the place and the damned furnace that kept going out and were moving out as soon as she recovered from her burns.
It was the first night that the young man heard the baby chuckle.
After the couple had moved, the baby could be heard at night when the evening's lights were turned off. At times, it would be crying. However, it didn't take the young man long to realize that if he talked to it that he could stop the crying and get a baby chuckle out of it.
It worked wonderfully in getting girls to leave after sex instead of having to go through awkward morning after conversations.
The years flew by and the young man had aged, gotten married, and had a family of his own. He'd had a few experiences out of the normal realm take place over the years, several almost dangerous in nature, but he thought he was over them.
His being promoted to Sales Manager required him to move to the middle of a country. It was a small town and rentals weren't easy to come by. One of his employees knew of a house that had just come open. A quick visit with the landlord, a transfer of funds, and a handshake were all that were needed to seal the deal.
Not wanting to move his family there until the school year would be over in a couple of months, the gentleman moved in by himself. He knew that with it being an older home that it wouldn't be as bright as some of the newer ones. He just didn't know the darkness that the home really held within.
His first night there was one filled with fear. He entered the bedroom to be met with ice cold temperatures. His breath could easily be seen in the air in front of him, which was extremely rare in the Alabama late spring with only a window unit air conditioner in the room. In addition, no matter which way he turned he felt as though there was someone there, watching his every move. He closed the door to the room and wedged a two by four between the dresser and the chest on either side of the door frame. He didn't sleep well for several days.
However, once he brought his family down that weekend, things seemed to ease up. The laughter of his two girls and wife filled the home and seemed to meet the approval of whatever had been disapproving of his homesteading until then. Never again did the home seem to want them gone.
Years later, after moving away and then coming back for a visit with in-laws the next year, they drove by the house. In one year, the house had aged thirty. The roof sagged between the support beams and the entire house exuded a look of having the life drained out of it. It was sad to see it in such a condition.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I'll never know exactly where the voice in the graveyard came from. It was too late and too cold for someone to physically be there. Some say it was a voice from above and others say it was a voice of the dead. Either way, I know it was truly there.
The house I'd rented while in college had a history that I didn't know about until after having moved in. Neighbors later told me a man had gone off the deep end (several years before) and shot his entire family there. The neighbors heard the yelling, the shots, and the baby crying endlessly as windows were open during the Fall in which it had occurred. Finally, one more shot and the crying stopped. One final shot and silence prevailed until the sirens arrived. I might add, I lived in that house alone for almost another year after the couple moved out and the furnace never once went out. I never had a girl make it through staying an entire night there either!
The home for my family turned out to have had the landlord's wife die with cancer within it. I understand she'd suffered there for months before finally passing on. Although I never saw anything or anyone there, my youngest daughter swears to this day that she saw an older woman in the house many times when she was there alone.
So, in closing this part of the post today, I can only say one thing .....
Now, it's time for
Ten Things Of Thankful!
|SEE ALL TTOT POSTS HERE!!!!|
This Week I'm Thankful For ...
1) ... Earthquake in Afghanistan and Pakistan kills over 260 ... and the United States press did its best to minimize this disaster. For a week, we heard about Hurricane Patricia and how devastating it was going to be. Then, when it hit, news suddenly disappeared. Now, an earthquake killing hundreds of people has occurred, and the headlines are once again about the future presidential race.
I guess big business isn't making any money in the hurricane and earthquake hit areas, so why bother reporting on it. Or, could it be that there were no police abusing their authority and the news agencies couldn't manufacture sensationalism, as they're so good at?
Funny how they can make such a big deal over one student disobeying a teacher and a police officer (excuse me, one innocent, young, pristine example of fine upbringing), but they have no interest in hundreds getting killed elsewhere. Don't all lives matter? Gives them a chance to show their true color, doesn't it?
$$$$$$ GREEN $$$$$$
2) ... Khloe Kardashian cut her long locks.
Anything talking about the Kardashian's
is a complete
... oops, horror story.
is a complete
... oops, horror story.
3) ... Seven-Year-Old chokes on school lunch and no one helps her. Noelia Echavarria's family feels as though she may have choked on a sandwich trying to eat it too fast as school employees had hurried her before. The young lady is now brain dead as she turned blue before paramedics could arrive. No one attempted to assist her in any way prior to their arrival.
I'm just wondering how many of them had their phones out filming
the incident to see if they could get a "views" record on YouTube later.
Sad thing is that's probably TRUE!
4) ... Mike Tyson endorses Donald Trump for President. Mike feels as though America needs a business minded individual to run it. So, he's endorsing Donald Trump.
Let's see, Mike's been hit in the head many, many times in the boxing ring in the past? He's also attempting to become a celebrity again with his Adult Swim show. Just goes to prove, "Any publicity is good publicity!"
(And then we all woke up out of our nightmare,
felt to see that we still had both of our ears,
and went back to sleep.)
Now you know why I smoke Pall Mall 100 Lights.
Screw those exploding suckers!
6) ... Top Five Halloween Candies. According to a Yahoo survey, the number 5 favorite Halloween candy are Kit Kats, followed by other chocolate bars, M&M's, and Snickers at number two, just behind Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Oh, those are the favorites to be received by Trick or Treater's.
My favorites are generic Sweet Tarts, generic Twizzlers, and
anything else I can find at the Dollar Store that's cheap and will
keep the little bastards from toilet papering the trees
in my front yard!
7) ... Patriotic Shirt banned by California School. The Yuba Gardens Intermediate School sent an honor student home the other day for wearing a Kohl's T-Shirt bearing the California State Emblem. Their excuse: Because it had a red star in the upper corner it was gang related material.
I guess they're right on this one. It was a gang of white settlers
that decided to go into the turf of the noble Native Americans,
steal their land, profit from their natural resources, and
breed a society that couldn't figure out when
a t-shirt is gang related or not.
God, what a serious bunch of stupid assholes!
I'm guessing they'll ban the California State Flag next!!!
8) ... Texting Drivers caught by Homeless Man Police Officer. Okay, so you're driving along, come to an intersection, and decide to check your texts. Why? To keep from looking at the homeless guy with his cardboard sign that you know is probably pulling the scam on you. Why? Because many of them are doing just that.
So, you pull away, drive 100 yards, and are pulled over and given a citation for Distracted Driving! Later, you find out that the homeless man's sign read, "I'm not homeless. I'm a police officer looking for distracted drivers texting or using cell phones."
Mad? Damn right!
That's exactly what happened in Baltimore, Md. Over 56 drivers were given citations. Guess the city needed some extra cash and the Annual Policeman's Ball will now be funded.
I've nothing about police pulling over folks for texting while driving. You gotta do something to stop these idiots. However, when one has to look at every supposedly homeless person at every corner and read their signs to find out if they're a police officer or not, there's something wrong.
Of course, at the price of tickets these days, give me one and I'll be homeless.
I think I'll put on my sign,
"For $5, find out the location of the Homeless Man Police Officer Today!"
Sounds like a bargain to me!
9) ... WHO says you have Herpes ... they really do! The World Health Organization says that two thirds of the world's population has oral herpes. You know, cold sores, fever blisters ... stuff like that. That's like 3.7 billion people! Scientists are desperately attempting to discover a cure, but to this point, everything they've come up with won't validate the price the drug companies want you to pay. (Wait a minute, retract that last sentence.)
So, the next time you get the tingling and the lip starts to swell, don't feel sad.
Feel like you're part of the group and wear your blister proudly!
After all, most everyone else will too!
10) ... Halloween is a racist holiday!
I was on Facebook the other day and saw a post stating that Halloween is a racist holiday. I didn't want to read the post and didn't.
Because I'm fed up. I'm fed up because everyone can find something wrong with everything these days and do their best to ruin the fun for the majority.
Taking the costumed young ones out to gather candy, telling ghost stories, watching horror movies ... these are all things that I can't associate to racism. They are things you do once a year to take the normal, boring life we live to a new level of excitement.
It's bad enough the world seems to be taking Christ out of Christmas, trying to find fault in Thanksgiving, and getting the ASPCA involved with Groundhog's Day and Easter. If you don't have enough racism in your life already, how about saving it for another time and let people enjoy this satanic, evil and bloody holiday in their own way.
Life is going to be pretty damn boring when you eliminate all holidays. Of course, the herd you'll be a part of then will be non-thinking, much like many of those complaining today. I'll be dead by then, thank goodness, and won't have to see the crappy place you've created in which to reside.
But, maybe, just maybe, I'll come back as a poltergeist and scare
the hell out of you for your lack of reason, fun, and tolerance.
Hell ... I will come back. That's a promise!
So, change your ways ... or else!