Thursday, October 10, 2013

FTSF: Blog Censorship and the Good Life

I almost didn't join the hop today.

About an hour ago, I was interrupted by a Federal employee at the door.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"Yes, do you write a blog named 
"That's Life ... Sometimes???"

"Yes, I do ... or, I try.  See, I haven't technically learned how to write yet as I haven't passed any government test that states I wasn't left behind.  So, in essence, writing is only a hypothetical event in my life until such certification comes through."

He didn't see the humor.

"Sir, I am under order of the Federal Government to shut down your blog."

Damn, someone was reading this stuff!

I humbly asked, "What is the reason for this stoppage of something that doesn't really happen?"

"Well, sir, whether you know it or not, the Federal Government now has complete control over the Internet and what is posted there.  Your comments concerning the "herding of cattle" politically correct crowd have offended the herd ... er, politically correct crowd.

   In addition, your comments concerning the inefficiencies of the Federal Government have been described as somewhat terroristic in nature.  When you mention a possible revolution taking place, the White House has taken note and would like to question you as to where you derive your information.  They're asking if this information is based on revolutionary meetings, NRA publications, or if you've simply figured out how stupid they are and decided to go public with it on your own."

"So, you're telling me the cattle are upset?  Have you talked to a Federal vet about this?"
"No sir, all Federal vets are on furlough at this time."

"Okay, so, have you talked to the NSA about my supposed "terroristic" activities?"

"No sir, the NSA is operating with a minimal force at this time as most of them have also been furloughed."

"So, are you getting paid for coming to my house and hassling me?"

"Well ... you know, I'm not!"

"So, why are you doing it?"

"Damn it, I'm not doing it!  I quit!  When they start paying  me again, I'll be back!"

"Wait!  Before you leave ... got any smut on the Feds?"

I now have enough material to keep blogging for several years, or until the Federal Government and NSA starts back up!  Whatever comes first!

Okay, so I made all of that up.  Had you going though, didn't I?

This is once again Finish The Sentence Friday, and strong apologies must be made.  Out of laziness in forgetfulness, I have been posting a JPEG that omitted my sister from another mother, Kristi Campbell, from the list of Hostesses.  This really wasn't intentional.  I'm just an old procrastinator from way back.

Well, last week, Kristi and Lizzi reminded me of this omission.

My face was red.

After they got done with me, so was my tail!  (Easy with those whips, ladies!)

So, here, right below, newly produced, is the list of current hostesses and the rules of Finish the Sentence Friday!

Hope you liked it!
Now, get off my case!  (Just joking.)

Today's prompt is:
"Once, in public, I saw ..."

This is a tough one!

I live in public for the most part, as I'm dealing with the public in my job and stops.  Everywhere I go I'm dealing with the public.  So, I guess I'm supposed to go crazy and discuss all the weird things I've seen.

Instead, I'm going to spoil your fun and go this direction:

Once, in public, I saw hundreds of families laughing, crying, and enjoying the moment.

No matter where you looked, there were smiling faces enlightening the scene.  No frowns, no complaints, no one being offended ... just pure happiness being exhibited by all.  A moment of moments.  A happening of happenings.

The time was 1963.  I was nine years old.  It was August.

At the end of the kid's summer vacation time, the county fair was held.  From Monday through Saturday, 4-h'ers demonstrated their skills in raising livestock, preparing various projects, and performing community service stands for onlookers galore.  Every evening, starting at about 6 p.m., families loaded up their cars and kids and headed for an evening of clean fun, local rodeos, talent competitions, and other various events.
Photo credit: Thomas Hawk / Foter / CC BY-NC

And, then there was the Midway!  Carnival rides for all ages.  The Tilt-A-Whirl, the Scrambler, the Paratrooper, the Octopus, the Roller Coaster Roaster, and even the obligatory Ferris Wheel was there awaiting the teenagers and the adults who braved them.  The younger kids could enjoy riding various circular rides like Cars & Motorcycles, the Spinning Barrels, the Merry-Go-Round, and of course, spend all the time they wanted in the petting zoo.

The Midway also provided many ways for boyfriends to try to impress girlfriends by seeing how high they could use a mallet to ring the bell, shoot BB's at moving steel targets, throw plastic rings over the necks of glass bottles, or throw darts at balloons.  Many dollars were spent as the barkers did their jobs well.

Even the sideshows were there to bring about a sense of excitement and adventure.  Anacondas were on display as giant man-eating snakes.  Make-up reigned supreme for the bearded lady and other supposed freaks on display.  And, for adults (mostly men), there was always the ladies in skimpy outfits doing exotic dances.  

It was a good week for all attending.

However, the Saturday afternoon event was the highlight of the week.  This was the day of the county parade!
Photo credit: j3net / Foter / CC BY-NC

Organizations wanting recognition or saying, "Thank You" to their customers and friends had prepared colorful floats and threw out candies and beads.  Marching bands from the region came to show their talent and were dressed to the tee in their uniforms.  Antique cars and buggies were driven by, again, tossing out treats for the kids.  And, finally, the horses with their riders, all dressed up in their sparkle saddles and rhinestone outfits, ended the event. (Usually depositing horse defecation behind them on the street, making everyone laugh out loud at the natural occurrence.)

There were no people bitching at each other, no cell phones going off and no rude conversations being overheard, no hip hop music coming from cars in the area, and no gangs causing trouble.  It was a time when being armed meant your mom had a Kleenex, band aid, and needle and thread in her purse in case you had an accident.  It was a week of beauty.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could bring it back, if only for a week, so all of today's kids and families could experience the bliss it brought?

Okay, how about if it were for only a day?  

You could handle it for a day, couldn't you?

Couldn't you?

I'm A Twitter Dummy ... So Tweet That!!!

I'm a Twitter dummy.

I just read Julie DeNean's article about Twitter  ... and I'm still somewhat lost.  That's bad, because this article was written with the slow witted person in mind.  

Yeah, she had me in mind, 
I'm sure!

Julie DeNean professionally produced it knowing that there were some people that simply didn't get it.  So, she kindly provided a step by step process, complete definitions, beautiful directions, and even pictures.

I still don't get it.

Then again, I've never been one to follow trends.

To me, Twittering is something that a bird does.  

I'm obviously not a bird.  Birds don't smoke.

Howie Mandel constantly tweets on America's Got Talent.  I'm happy for him.  One day, he'll get a real life.  Then again, Howie Mandel is a multi-millionaire.  

Maybe he's onto something.

I joined Twitter over a year ago as a means to promote my blog.  Instead, I get notifications every time someone else promotes my blog.  I really should Tweet to thank them for doing so, but I don't know how.  So, I sit here, looking at all the promoting going on, and feel somewhat helpless as others do my work for me.

At least I'm not a complete 
self promoting ass!

I receive Tweets from others as well.  Tom Crean, the coach of Indiana University's basketball team is on my Twitter list to follow.  He seems like a nice guy.  

I wonder if Tweeting people makes you a nice person? 
Nawwwwww, just coaching the right team does! 

A while back, several people I know held a Twitter party.  Afterwards, a couple of them that hosted it got banned from Twitter for a while.  I guess Twitter doesn't want people communicating party information, only Tweeting nonsensical codes.

Twitter sounds like a group of politicians with everyone trying to say something at once, according to the latest trend, but no one really understands what's being said.  No wonder the rest of the world looks at our government and shakes it head in disbelief.

By the way, I wonder how 
John McCain's 
video poker game is going?

I wonder if twerking can be done on Twitter?  Miley Cyrus is supposedly Tweeting on Twitter about her Twerking all the time. 

 Whatever happened to the dance called the Twist?  If someone Tweeted on Twitter about Twisting, and someone else Tweeted on Twitter about Twerking, would it be called a Twisting Twerking day on Twitter trend, or a Twerking Twisted trend on Twitter? 

Would it really matter?

I guess the politicians would care.  According to them, they care about everything.  Or, so they Tweet.  But, I bet it's really their aides that are doing the Tweeting.  

(My apologies, I gave the politicians too much credit for Twitter knowledge.  
Please excuse me, I've been sick the last few days.)

So, for now, I must make efforts to tweak my twerking, twisted Twitter skills.  Then, one day, I'll understand Twitter.  Of course, by that time, everyone will be doing something else.  

That's okay.  That will provide a topic for another blog.  

Of course, by then 
I might be twitching.

Would that be a twitching Tweet about twisted twerking tweak, then, or a tweak about a twerking twisted Tweet about twitching?  Or, is that what happens when one Tweets while driving?

One might say this whole thing resembles a pile of twisted El Toro defecation.

It might be fun to see that Tweeted.  

Just be sure to wash your hands 
if you receive it!