Monday, July 8, 2013

The Annual Running Of The Bulls ... And Bullsh***ers!!!

Pamplona, Spain 
is enjoying the 
"Running of the Bulls" 
once again!

There's a fool born 
every minute!

Let's examine this logically!

Hmmm, man has two legs 
and bulls have four.  

So, the odds are doubled in favor of the bulls.

Man has no horns 
and bulls have huge ones.  

Again, double the odds.

Many of the individuals running have been celebrating with alcoholic beverages
destroying their common sense and weakening their stamina.

Hey boys and girls, 
look at the bulls grinning from cheek to cheek!!


I'd like to see an annual running of the 
"Bulls and Bullsh***ers 
held in Washington, D.C. every July 4th!
(Talk about a REAL Independence Day!)

Think about it ... all politicians, lobbyists, and Chiefs of Staff, nervously trying to warm up, dressed in Red, White & Blue starter wear (and headbands) and old Converse All-Stars.

Behind them ... 2,000 Texas Longhorn and Brahma bulls, and 500 Mexican fighting bulls (representing the new minority) ... being ceaselessly tapped  with cattle prods, rising from underground hydraulic units, and sending electrical charges to their most tender, private parts (ouch!) just to get their mood right.

You Want My Dad!!! He's The Politician!!!

The run would cover the one mile distance between the Washington Monument and the steps of the Capitol.  Those contestants that survived and reached the steps could keep their office or government jobs one more year, or until the end of their term in office arrived, whichever came first.

Kind of gives the phrase, “Running for office” 
a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?

It’s my guess that after a year or two, we’d begin to see a whole new group of people becoming politicians.  No longer would the 30 year politician be around to gouge the voters (hopefully because of the lower posterior gouges they'd get from the bulls), as age and odds would no longer be in their favor.  Maybe the horn up the tail experience would even influence the Silver Spooned elitists to stay away, ensuring they'd still be around to enjoy their wealth.

Working class people would soon be shoo-in's for political offices.  

                                Run, Forrest, Run!!!

Huge monetary penalties could be imposed for 1) banning union participation, 2) outrageous CEO salaries, and 3) moving companies to China and Mexico.  In addition, the outspoken Huffpost Comment Front, supported by lawyers, television star ego seeking "brain doctors",  and uneducated Internet fools with false bravado's, would be banned from ever commenting, or even being seen in a public forum again!  (OMG, the cruelty of the world at its worst!!) In fact, it would be mandated they experience the next major hurricane (in person), by being set adrift on a small, rubber ducky pool raft five miles from the shoreline.   

Mercy, Please!!!  I'm Only A Secretary!!!!!
**Perhaps, the common sense masses would do away with the “No Child Gets Ahead” Federal Testing Standards so that our children could once again become educated. (What a concept!)  

**Perhaps, motherhood, prior to high school graduation, would no longer be financially supported by the government, but left to the personal accountability of the families (of both parties) that failed in their duties to properly instill morals and discipline in their children.  
(What a radical idea!)  

**And, what if, perhaps, responsibility and work ethic once again became society's expectations, instead of rarities?  (Okay, have I gone too far yet?)

Perhaps, that’s what Spain had in mind years ago 
when they started this annual event.

Perhaps, it’s just what we need to clean up the mess 
our society suffers from in the States.

Perhaps, it’s time the bullsh***ers in D.C. experience 
a little bullsh*t for themselves!!

Steak, anyone?
No Chik-Fil-A jokes, please!