Friday, November 14, 2014

Cat O' Nine Tails, Wendy's Chili and Pink Floyd ... The Dark Side Of The Mind

Today is the day I'm supposed to post my Ten Things Of Thankful for the week.

I haven't written a thing.

Some wonder if I ever do.

To those people I say, "Do you?"

This has been an extremely slow news week, as far as stupid people are concerned.  Oh, Putin's putting on a show by bringing his battleships to an international World Summit conference in Australia, but that's a minor thing for him.  Almost not worth mentioning.  

The U.S. Congress is experiencing growing pains after the past elections.  They've even had to call in a professional to measure all new members for their white hats and black hats that they'll be switching out from time to time as society's Hunger Games continue in the country's diminishing middle class households.  "Yee-Haw!!!"

And a Winter snowstorm has already hit the Central United States.  It was going to happen sooner or later, so big deal.  Just something else for the press to sensationalize about.

So, the question is, "What the Hell do I write about today???"

Damned if I know!

So, let's just ramble and see if something happens to take place.  If it does, fantastic.  If it doesn't, well, I can always just not join in this week.  But, then I would have to face the fury and wrath of Lizzi and her band of murdering page riders, and I might never see the light of day again.

Of course, I could leap away from them to another page.  "Ha!"  
Lizzi's Cat O' Nine Tails

But, being as tenacious as Lizzi is, I'm sure she'd find me, flay me with her cat 'o nine tails, soak my wounds in the saltiest brine she could locate, and tie me in the hot desert sun to be munched on by vultures seeking sustenance.  I'd watch them pluck away at my flesh until one would happen to discover the wondrous taste of my eyeballs.  And, with those being gone, I could no longer watch the feast, nor see Lizzi laughing with eternal delight in the background, wine glass in hand, and feet being massaged by all of her tribe, one at a time ... of course.

After all of that, she'd recall my spirit and with a binding spell, paste me to a keyboard with instructions to "... come up with something worth reading."

"Worth reading?" I'd reply. "Since when did I ever write something worth reading?"

Lizzi would then realize the truth of the words spoken, slowly turn around to her tribe and with her shoulders hung in defeat, take herself and all her followers to another page to destroy someone else in a similar non creative state.  I'd be left, pasted to a keyboard, alone in the vast emptiness of my page, wondering if I should start typing, or simply allow myself to pass on, becoming just another page that needed updating without anyone ever hitting the Enter button.

So, anyway, let's see if I can find anything worth being thankful for this week.

1)  Sports on TV.  Yes, I'm indeed thankful for sports on TV.  Now, I'm not a great sports fan that can recite stats and talk about all the different team players of the decades.  But, years ago I found that if I wanted to be left alone for the evening, all I'd have to do would be to turn on a college basketball or football game, and my wife would go into another room to watch her shows.  Having been an only child for the first 13 years of my life, this time alone meant the world to me.  

However, over the years, her interests have grown and now she'll sit right there and watch the games with me ... much to my dismay.  However, there are benefits to her being in the same room, especially when she gets up to get something to drink. Often, I con her into getting me something while she's up by saying something loving like, "Hey, bitch, while you're up bring me a Diet Coke."  It's amazing what a person will do simply to keep from arguing when the score is close and time short in the game!

2)   Nestle's Hot Cocoa Mix.  If you have any age on you, I'm sure you remember, 

Nestles makes the very best.  

This sugar free concoction is one of the few benefits that my workplace has to offer.  Savory sweet with 0 Calories from fat make this delicious powder from the envelope something to yearn for when over brewed coffee is the norm.  I often wish I could find a way to keep all of the powder mixed in the hot water, but alas, some of it finds its way to the bottom of the cup and creates a bog of muck so thick that the Hulk would get mired down if he attempted to trod through it.  I have to admit, the muck is good for catching pesky flies, though.

3)  Liberals.  Oh, those liberals.  I'm offended, we're offended, everyone is offended, don't say this, don't say that, politicians can be our saviors, we know what's right for your state, you have no idea what's right for our state, People are good, guns and cigarettes are bad.  Minority rules, says the Constitution, as we've never lived in a democracy ... only a republic, change the name of the Washington Redskins, Obama is God, lawyers are always right, God Bless Our America!   (You gotta love 'em!)

4)  Conservatives.  Oh, those conservatives.  I'm offended, we're offended, everyone is offended, don't say this, don't say that, politicians can be our saviors, we know what's right for our state, you have no idea what's right for your state, People are bad, guns and cigarettes are good.  Majority rules says the Constitution as we've never lived in a Communistic state but a democracy, never change the name of the Washington Redskins, all Republicans are God, lawyers are always wrong unless they're Republican lawyers, and God Bless Our America!   
(You gotta love 'em!)

5)  Common Sense.  Look at all the selfish liberal and conservative dumb asses fighting over crap that doesn't matter.  If everyone would mind their own business and learn how to tolerate others, we might just find a way to get along.  Compromise is the key as no one deserves to have anything their way and their way only.  We live in a country that provides more freedom than any other, but won't stay that way for long if we continue the course we're on.  The more that is restricted will soon restrict freedom from standing.

Big government is only there because we allow it, not because it's needed.  See through the smokescreens they lay and observe what is really going on in Washington, D.C. between the special interest groups filling the pockets of politicians, and the $10,000 a plate dinners.  Oh, the games the politicians play!  

If we started accepting personal accountability for the actions of ourselves and those in our care, we might just find that kids can't be raised by television and video games.  They need instruction, guidance, and quality time to properly mature.  We'd understand that only God is God and no one else comes close, if you believe in God in the first place.  And, "No", lawyers can't destroy religion.  They can only do their best to hide it when no one stands up and provides resistance.  

Get rid of the "I" in your life and start recognizing the power of the "We".  Otherwise, "I" will soon be no more when the governments and big business start herding us as cattle.  Remember, the goal is to first divide and then conquer.  Labeling yourself a liberal or conservative is only the first stage of your demise and their strength.  

But, of course, you'd have to have common sense to understand these thoughts.  

Wouldn't that be nice?
Like, you couldn't guess this was a
long sleeve t-shirt, could you?

6)  Long Sleeve T-Shirts.  A fantastic invention that should be a staple in every person's wardrobe.  Nothing like an extra layer of clothing to hold in the body heat when you're sitting in a cold middle class living room, eating your cold can of Pork & Beans, because mandated medical insurance rates and shrinking middle class wages cause you to be unable to pay your electric bill.  They'll also become standard apparel when your area becomes one of many District 13's, so named after the chapter of bankruptcy you're forced to file.  (Nothing like optimism for the weekend, is there?)
And, in case you couldn't
figure it out, this is a picture
of Wendy's chili!  

7)  Wendy's Chili.  I know that it's made out of greasy leftover hamburgers from the day before, and that it's added to existing chili all day instead of being made fresh.  Still, buck for buck, a small Wendy's Chili for $1.79 is one hell of a bargain in today's world, especially if you've got an allergy to white enriched flour. Devour two of these and you can enjoy that much desired evening alone later as no one will be able to stay in the same room with you without a clothespin on their nose!  Plus, if you wait a few hours, you can recognize another benefit it provides as you'll be saving big money on laxatives!  They should call it the 

"Wendy's Three In One Chili ... 
For the Menage a Trois In You!"

8)   Pink Floyd's "The Endless River".  For months I've awaited this CD.  It was stated that it was simply done from reworking outtakes from a previous CD, and adding vocals to only two of the 18 songs.  Still, my addiction to Pink Floyd and the acid strewn memories of things that happened in my life in the late 60's and early 70's while their "Dark Side Of The Moon" album was playing told me that excitement would be worthy of such a masterpiece. 

 "Ehhhh, it's okay."  Nice instrumentals, but overall, not something I'd get myself all hot and bothered about.  Seems like Pink Floyd is like all the other artists that have been around too long in that they've all been around too long.  Think I'll go and listen to "Dark Side Of The Moon" again.  

Anyone got an extra hit of acid?

9)  Gotham.  In case you haven't seen it, Gotham is a television show on Fox that precedes Batman's days as Batman in Gotham City.  No, Penguin isn't Danny DeVito in a fat man body suit, but rather a slender young man with aspirations of becoming the crime overlord.  Will Smith's wife has the same idea, while a young Inspector Gordan still believes that right is right and wrong is wrong, naive to say the least.  It definitely takes strong liberties with the Batman legend, but it's better than watching Dancing With The Stars week after week.  Besides, Barbara Gordan is HOT!!!

10.  The End.  Finally, I'm thankful that this post is coming to an end!  Damn, this one was a struggle without the week in news helping me out.  Hopefully, zombies will take over Philly, vampires will invade Baton Rouge, and common sense will overcome the vacancy of the minds in Washington, D.C., giving me a much easier post to write next week.  

So, until then,