Tuesday, March 19, 2013

It's Tuesday, So It Must Be Rambling Time!

Over the last three days, I've written four blogs ... and published none of them.


Because I'm getting long winded in my old age.  (Okay, so you already knew that.  Sometimes, the writer is the last to know.)

I usually write my blogs in Microsoft Word and then copy and paste them, adding the pictures afterwards.  However, when I find myself at four pages, and not yet halfway done, I have to ask myself, "Will this hold an Internet audience?"

Inevitably, I have to say, "No, it won't."

So, I have two options.  Either publish it knowing that I'm not going to be read, or not publish it and have the blog go unnoticed.  

Just what every writer wants!  That's like being a baker and people not eating your cake.  Or, being a home builder and seeing the homes stay empty.  Or, being a porno actor and not ... well, use your imagination.

So, instead of keeping the blog bare (okay, stop thinking about the porno's now), I've decided to ramble.  I've yet to decide about what to ramble.  That's the nice thing about rambling ... you don't have to plan in advance ... you just ramble.

Nat King Cole had a big hit in the early 60's called "Ramblin' Rose" that everybody loved.  I never could figure it out.  Was a rose actually rambling?  And, if so, what would a rose ramble about?
"Hey, let's talk awhile about thorns.  I love my thorns.  In fact, I love my thorns so much that I try to make them bigger and bigger.  They keep dumbasses from picking me, smelling me, and tossing me away!  Of course, there's always the dummy in love that doesn't see that I have thorns.  I laugh my petals off when the prick sticks his fingers with my thorny stickers.  So, I guess you could say my thorny stickers stick the horny pickers!"  
I really don't think Nat King Cole was thinking about that when he sang the song.

Could it be that Rose is a female that constantly prattles?  
"My husband ... oh, my husband ... he's such a hard working schmuck!  He works hard at not working!  I say, "Leonard, just go to work and get the job done.  We need the money!"  And he looks at me and says, "Rose, I'm not feeling well today.  I think I'm going to stay home."  I say, "HOME!  HOME!  I don't want cha at home.  I want cha at work!  I want to stay home and don't want cha around.  You think I want cha to give whatever you've got to me?!?!  You gotta be kidding!  Go to work and give it to that schmuck of a boss you've got!  The one that won't give you a raise!  Make him sick!"
No, I don't think Nat had that in mind either.  Perhaps I should go back and listen to the song again ... one day ... and spend more time trying to figure it out.   Nawwwwww!

Anyway, I was sitting here thinking about all that's gone on in the last week and questioning some of the latest news items.

  1. If the Pope is a direct representative to God, why are men choosing him?  Shouldn't God send a sign or something?  I'd be looking for the guy walking around with the flashing cloud following him, wouldn't you?  And, now the new pope is Pope Francis.  The last Francis I remember was 'Francis the Talking Mule" from movie fame in the 50's.   
  2. If two high school kids rape an underage teenage girl that's so drunk she can't remember what happened, where were the parents?  "Sure, my dear, I understand that you're underage.  But, as a parent, I hope you get totally wasted and enjoy all the delinquencies life offers!  Just don't throw up on the carpet when you get home."
  3. If the government finances are so bad that the White House has to stop the public tours, why is John Kerry allotting Egypt over 200 million dollars in aid?  I guess the pyramids will still be able to keep their tour guides with that cash!
  4. If North Korea poses such a nuclear threat to us, why don't we volunteer to send more overpaid NBA basketball players there to negotiate?  Dennis Rodman obviously did such a good job, just imagine what a few more of these under educated, overpaid millionaires could do.  Before you would know it, the North Korean leaders would be so busy fighting in the stands, they wouldn't have time to escalate war possibilities.
  5. Who really cares if Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest broke up?  She used him to get ahead, and he used her to get a head.  That's what they do in Hollywood, isn't it?
So much for the news.  It's really just as ridiculous as always.  Common sense takes a back seat and loses its virginity, just like at the drive-in movies in the 60's.  (No wonder Elvis flicks were so popular then ... no one watched them but the drive-ins were filled with young girls fantasies and young boys efforts to complete them.)

One of my blogs that remains unpublished was about the differences in life from decade to decade over the last 50 years.  I started it in the 60's, as I was only 6 years old when the 50's ended.  I concluded that my first six years really didn't make me an expert on that decade, unless it was filled with measles, pets, using an outhouse, and having an operation.  Of course, I remember TV shows like "The Texas Rangers", "Rin Tin Tin", "Zorro" and "Hopalong Cassidy", but no one else does.  No need to talk about them then.  I'm thinking about making it a weekly series, even knowing that many weren't around until many decades later.  Let me know what you think about it in the comments.

Another is a strange topic that I'm working on making shorter and more humorous.  I'm almost afraid to publish another cerebral piece after just having done the "Secrets" one last week, so it may be a week or two in coming.  

Nothing like getting commercials about coming attractions, is there?

Well, that's it for this Rambling Tuesday feature.  I could ramble on and on, but one must know where the Internet limits are.  I will do my best to participate in FTSF this week.  Last week, I was just too wiped out to even try.  Work is a killer of creativity at times, and 11 hour days don't help.  

Again, my apologies to all of you that follow my writings, but seldom see me at yours.  I do my best, but have recently found myself sleeping in the recliner immediately after eating my evening meal around nine p.m.   I'll try to do better.

Keep smiling and writing!  The two go well together.  So do we.  

See you next time!