Saturday, November 30, 2013

Ten Things Of Thankful: The Black Friday Edition

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I've been trying to validate the name to the shopping day after Thanksgiving called 
"Black Friday."

No, I'm not going to research it on Wikipedia.

I would tend to believe that it's because of the horrible way many act this day.  Fights, rudeness, and general disregard for one's fellow man tends to make this a "Black" day for mankind each year.

So, the day after we supposedly celebrate a day of thanks, we toss that aside to act like uneducated, wild people in the name of greed ... or, getting what we don't need regardless of the consequences.

Yeah, that makes sense! 

Of course, in reality, what else to we expect to take place?  It's like an annual human shark feeding frenzy that the retailers instigate each year.  "Chomp, Chomp ... bite on this low priced TV!  Chomp, Chomp ... bite on this low priced tablet!  Chomp, Chomp ... bite your neighbor!  It's all in fun!  Right?"

No, I'm not blaming the retailers.  Many of them have already done their best to ruin the concept of family by opening on Thanksgiving.  No longer do families relax and enjoy a complete day of getting together, eating, laughing, and sharing tales of family history.  Now, we simply toss down the food and get out the sale flyers to map out shopping strategies.  "Bye, Bye family ... time to go stand in line with the rest of the herd so we can rush the doors and act like we have no common sense when the retailers doors open!"

If that's not bad enough, the corporate heads are sitting at home with their families while the workers aren't allowed to be with theirs.  "Let the slaves deal with the maddening masses while we sit high in our boxes and let the lions feed on them!"

Isn't it nice that society has advanced so far from the days of the Roman coliseum slaves and gladiators?

I’m sure the crowds Thursday night and Friday didn’t disappoint the observers.  Isn’t it nice to know you satisfied your non-paying audience?  

So, in essence, you really aren’t getting low prices.  You’re simply being paid to perform!  You are the entertainers that put on a show of what greed does to those weak enough to fall prey to it.  You’re being laughed at and rated for your performance as the corporate audience chuckles all the way to the bank.  You are the fools that give them satisfaction.

But, I do hope you got what you wanted.  They did!

Which brings us to this week‘s edition of  

“Ten Things Of Thankful!”

Yeah, I know, what a way to segue into it!

Our wonderful hosts of this event would take a page and a half to list as they have grown in numbers over and over again.  Still, they are worth remembering, so you can find a complete listing of these gracious individuals, as well as more of these “posts of thankfulness” here:     Here ... It's Here!!!! Push the link to get there!!!

Don’t tell me you don’t have time to visit them.  You waited in line how long Friday?

So, let us begin our quest for “Thankfulness.”

This week, I’m thankful for:

No More Whips!
Just Pressure By Compliments!
Meet Madam Lizzi!
1)  Lizzi, better known as “Considerer”, who complimented me in a post this week by stating that I “might be the Big Daddy of blogging.”  I actually had to sit back and contemplate this statement for a few minutes after reading it.  All I’ve ever attempted in my blogs is to observe the idiocy of mankind and provide a somewhat humorous look at what is so readily available to be seen once you step back and actually look at the happenings in front of you.  It is an effort to take the truth, lay it out as it occurs, and let your mind do the thinking.  We do much too little of that these days.  Thought has almost taken a back seat to reacting.  Black Friday is a prime example of this.

If my observations and possible scenarios laced with some semblance of humor bring about a “Big Daddy” status, then I’m exceptionally honored that one so well versed as Lizzi would provide me with such a title.  Perhaps my efforts are not in vain, but instead, a catalyst for thought to begin and grow.  Perhaps the seeds I plant may cause a person to stop, look at what is happening around them, and create an alternate path for them to travel.  If that is the case, I’ve achieved all I ever started out to accomplish.  “Thank you, Lizzi!  It means more than you imagine.  It also puts forth more pressure than ever to perform to meet your standards!  God love you!”

2)  My zombie turkey eating cats.  They saved the day this year!  If you have no idea as to what I’m talking about don’t feel bad.  I’ve learned that the night before Thanksgiving is not the time to publish a post.  If you want to find out more, I’m shamelessly providing a link for you to exactly that!   Zombie Turkey Eating Cats ... Yeah, you missed it!!!!

3)  My wife that forgets Thanksgiving Day leftovers and provides a dish of grocery store frozen food department pasta the day after.  Having had one meal on Thanksgiving, and nothing all day Friday, I was looking forward to eating a plate of leftovers upon my arrival home from work Friday night.  Instead, I find a half filled plate of this inedible dish of rubberized morsels and tasteless sauce awaiting.  Oh well, that’s what Dollar Store peanuts are for, I guess!

4) for reminding me once again that I must wait until this week next year to download current albums.  Ones that I’ve already downloaded for $6.99 - $9.99 are now on sale for $1.99 - $5.99.  Of course, there are a few artists who consider their music so valuable that they need not participate in these customer friendly savings.  They will continue to find that their music remains on my “not necessary to own” list to this day.  Btw, Jay-Z, I heard your last one sucked anyway!

Load Limit 250 pounds!!!!!
5)  Fat Floaters.  This is what I call the mechanized shopping carts that carry folks too fat to walk around WalMart and other retailers so that their shopping is easier.  Meant to be strictly for handicapped individuals, these are used more and more by those too obese to put one foot in front of the other and get some much needed exercise.  I imagine many were used the last couple of days as battering rams, running over the heels of the innocent few that no longer need to waddle through the aisles.  If a weight limit restriction was posted before the usage of these vehicles, I’m sure many would find themselves losing calories.

6)  Idiotic Traffic Engineers.  These folks have delayed the time it takes to get through intersections in my fair city by separating the turn lane signals.  Instead of operating at the same time, they are now delayed.  In other words, first, one direction has the turn lane, then traffic goes straight, then, the other direction has the turn section.  This not only doubles the turn lane available time, but also doubles the amount of time one has to wait on lights to change for their direction.  I think these individuals are somewhat sadistic in nature, but not intelligent enough to understand that they also fall victim on their route home.  Can we say, “Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, children?”

7)  Turkey Roasts.  As in McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets, I tend to wonder what part of the turkey the roast comes from.  I have cut up many a turkey in my day, and have yet to find this oval ball of meat on any of them.  Could this actually be “processed” meat?  No, they wouldn’t do that to a turkey, would they?  Would they really grind up a turkey, add preservatives and chemical shapers, cover it with a plastic covering and net to hold it together until it’s frozen, and then sell it as a roast?  That wouldn’t happen in America, would it?  (I think I see an audience being laughed at again!)

8)  Family Values.  Hahahahahahahahaha!  You knew I was joking here, didn’t you?  I know, those became extinct a long time ago!  Got you laughing, though, didn’t I?

9)  Dollar Store shoe inserts.  Instead of spending $15 on shoe inserts that make my feet cramp up constantly, I’ve found that the Dollar Store inserts keep the cold floors at work from transferring their temperature to the bottoms of my feet much better, and without the cramping.  If you’ve never felt the stabbing nails enter the top of the middle of your foot as it begins to cramp up, you’re one of the lucky ones.  Be patient, I’m told that it comes with age.  Yeah, if you’re lucky, one day you’ll get old, too!

10)  You, the reader, for having patience with me getting around to read your hop posts.  I attempted to at least get around to all that commented on mine last week, even though it was a few days after the hop.  Working seven days a week (minus Thanksgiving Day, of which I basically tried to catch up on sleeping while my wife worked) does not leave much time for anything else.  I will finally have a day off this coming Thursday from my normal employment.  It will be much welcomed, but unfortunately, there are several things that I have to get done as they have been put off for quite some time.  Still, your understanding and continued reading and commenting are greatly appreciated.

And, that is it!  So, if you survived shopping on Black Friday, and still have some small semblance of humanity left within, I hope I didn’t offend you too much.  Hell, you put on a great show for all those watching!  

Betcha can’t wait for next year, can you?