Monday, October 28, 2013

Twisted Mix-Tape Tuesday: Time for Spooky

So there you are ... so secure in your little home.  You've got your computer, your TV, your stereo, and once in a while, you even cook something decent to eat.

Sure, you've got the typical worries that most people do these days (bills, car repairs, food costs), but overall, you think life will get better if you give it time, don't you?

What if you don't have time?

Don't you know ... 
everything dies?

You're not as secure as you think you are.  Remember the late summer night when you had the windows open?  Remember lounging in your nightie as the breeze blew across the room?  Remember when you thought you smelled a man's cologne?

I had made a mistake and not showered that evening.  Remnants of the day's leftover scent of my Obsession were stronger than I thought.  I watched as you seemed to sniff the air, and then shake your head as if it wasn't there.  That could have been your worst mistake.

I've been watching your daily routine for months now.  I know what you buy at the grocery store and when you go there.  I love the black workout tights you wear three days a week to the gym.  Your boyfriend is a wimp and your little tan dog a joke.  You need a real man to make you feel like a real woman.  To use you up.  To drive you crazy with delight.  To take you without mercy!  

My wish and your nightmare, combined to satisfy my wants and needs.  
You went to the mall yesterday.  I was so close to you as you paused to window shop that I could smell your shampoo.  Herbal Essence, isn't it?  I thought you caught a glimpse of me in the window's reflections.  You turned, but I had already distanced myself from you.  Still, you knew something was amiss, didn't you?  

You kept turning your head, as if you knew someone was watching.
It won't be long before we get together.  I know how you like to take that dog out to the park every third Sunday of the month.  You usually go alone, don't you?  You usually stop off at the Quik Mart and get some munchies, and then make an afternoon of it, don't you?  Sometimes, you even sit on the river bank and gaze into the water for 30 or 40 minutes.  I wish I knew what you were thinking.  I'll bet you're just wishing someone would come and end your boring existence, aren't you?  

Remove you from this life right there at the water's edge.
I've got my plans and there's nothing you can do to stop them.  Only I control the day and the time.  You're simply a toy that I can choose to ignore, play with, or destroy.  Don't get too secure in your world of make believe.  Mine is the only reality that counts.  It may be soon, or it may stretch out and not occur until next year.  Whenever I decide is up to me.  Until then ...


Friday, October 25, 2013

TTOT: Brought to you by Windstream Internet Providers (...sometimes)

Ten Things Of Thankful Link-Up
After a week of no Internet service, thanks to the incompetence of certain employees that couldn't recognize a modem was bad even while flashing a red power light, I have returned!  

I know, you're wishing I were as incompetent as the employees, aren't you?  
(Aww, c'mon, you know you missed me!  No?  
Not just a little?)

Anyway, even though Lizzi's whip hasn't been able to find me as of late, I feel somewhat obligated to her to participate once again.  Lizzi really is an angel in disguise.  Unfortunately, the disguise is so good, all you usually see is the disguise!  

See, Lizzi, I did say something nice about you for a change.  I figure the next time that's due is in 2017, so please, put down your whip and breathe normally as holding your breath until that time could be hazardous to your health.

As I look back on the past week, I have to say that I've much to be thankful.  Can't say exactly what it is, but I'm still around to try to find something, so I guess that could count.  There are weeks where you wonder if it wouldn't be better not to be around, but, then again, if you weren't around, you wouldn't be able to wonder.  So, perhaps, wondering is a good thing!  
God, am I rambling today or am I rambling?

Anyway, let's proceed to the Ten Things Of Thankful listing for this week.  Again, I have absolutely no idea where this is going, so let's just give it a shot and see where we end up at!

Please don't look!
I Gotta Do What I Gotta Do!!!
1)  I'm thankful that I have the ability to scratch an itch (or is that itch an itch?).  No, not one particular area, but all over.  When one has an itch, there is nothing better than to be able to scratch it.  You may just need a short brushing type of scratch, or you may need a long, digging deep to the bone type of scratch.  It's just nice to be able to do it as needed.  

In fact, imagine not being able to scratch an itch.  It would have to be the worst thing to experience.  Kind of like when you're in public and one of your private parts starts itching.  You want to scratch it, but you know everyone's watching.  So, you hunt out a clothing store, embed yourself in a rack of clothes, and coyly take care of the itch.  It really feels great, doesn't it?  Just remember, you're on camera and need to leave quickly before security can be summoned!

If You'll Open Just A Little
Wider, You Might Get A
Surprise That Will Light You
Up Like A Firecracker!
2)  I'm thankful that I still have firecrackers left from the 4th of July so that I can shut up the neighbor's barking dog at night.  My neighbors that live behind us have a little rat dog that barks every time they let it outside at night.  I don't think the little sucker ever uses the bathroom as it just yaps and yaps and yaps.  Maybe it's telling the other dogs about the size of it's defecation.  I'm sure the German Shepherd down the street could care less and put it to shame by barking about his size in comparison, but the German Shepherd seems to be satisfied just knowing he's the true winner.  It's kind of like driving a Porsche five mph below the speed limit.  You know you can beat most of the cars passing you, but can be satisfied without having to prove it.  

Anyway, I've continued my efforts to curb this barking by lighting a couple of firecrackers and tossing them in the back of my yard every time the little suckers starts it's off key serenade.  It's amazing how well they work!

3)  I'm thankful that vampires can't fly at 75 mph.  Driving home from visiting my father in Indiana for his 80th birthday, I opened up the moonroof in my Ridgeline and turned on the heater full blast.  I got the fresh air while keeping warm, and was able to enjoy the moon and stars above.  All the way home, I wondered if vampires could fly at 75 mph and sneak in the moonroof opening.  If so, I'd have been in trouble.  Obviously, since I made it home safely, they cannot.  I'm very thankful for that as I've seen enough of Kristen Stewart to last me a lifetime!

This Is Where The Turn Signal Is Located!
Now That You Know, Please Use It!!!
4)  I'm thankful that Mazda, and other automobile manufacturers, have provided their owners with a 3 flash turn signal.  This has a benefit of allowing the driver to hit the turn signal once, causing the turn light to flash three times while changing lanes on the interstates.  I, also, think it extremely thoughtful of them to provide this feature that will be ignored by 90% of the public that doesn't know what the hell a turn signal is to begin with!

5)   I'm thankful for $2000 cars with $10,000 stereo systems.  Car thieves love to find these rust buckets sitting on the side of the road broken down.  Within a short time, thousands of dollars of stereo equipment can be taken and later sold for profit.  This not only helps the economy, as no $10,000 stereo owner can do without their bass banging for long and have to replace it, but takes up the time of the car thieves, making less time available for them to find and steal my car.  (See!  You didn't think they had any benefit, did you?)

6)  I'm thankful for Spider Solitaire.  This is a game that is on most computers.  I became addicted to it many years ago, and wish I could count the number of times I've indulged in it.  Generally, my attentions are diverted to the medium level (so I can win every two or three games out of four), but I do venture into the the realm of the most difficult level when I'm depressed and want to feel sorry for myself.  Losing twenty games in a row helps me cope with this depression, as I suddenly realize that there's a way to succeed, and I go back down to the medium level again.  (Okay, Okay!  I know ... get a life Rich ... get a life!)

It's Gonna Take One Hell Of A Sprinkler System
To Get It Watered Properly!
7)  I'm thankful that it has now been discovered that the Amazon Jungle is drying out!  Since this area of the Earth has provided much of the oxygen needed to support life, its drying out will probably have a major effect on the hot air the politicians spout daily.  Without their ability to talk so freely, perhaps they'll actually stop talking and find ways to accomplish something!  (What a change that would be!)

8)  I'm thankful for the excuses that "mind doctors" have provided the public for years.  For every incident, these masters of the unknown spout their excuses for violent and excessive behavior, eliminating the personal accountability factor.  Why worry about doing something wrong if you can find a viable excuse that will keep you out of prison?  These constant validations allow those considering an act of such to find an excuse to continue through, instead of acknowledging their personal accountability of knowing the difference between right and wrong.  As long as we allow excuses to validate, these acts will continue to be the norm, instead of the exception.  (Makes life exciting, doesn't it?)

What do you mean you're not home?
Do we have to go to the playground to get candy?
9)  I'm thankful that the malls will be open on the night Trick or Treaters go out collecting candy.  Now, I'll have someplace to go instead of hiding in a dark house and acting like I'm not home.  It's not that I don't like Trick or Treaters.  It's simply the fact that as my wife is scheduled to work, I think it somewhat weird for a grown man to be giving young kids candy!  That's the stuff of which playground nightmares are made!  ("Hey kiddies, want some candy? Muhahahaha!")

10)  I'm thankful for all the great readers that left comments the last time I wrote for TToT!  Seriously, everyone that commented actually caught my "Thoughtful" comment about reading instead of skimming.  Great comments were made by just about everyone.  It really makes it much easier to answer these comments when something has been written that makes sense.  I appreciate that tremendously, as any writer does!  To you, I can only say, "Thank You" from the bottom of my heart.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

So that's it!  Another week of TToT all done.  Please visit the other writers in this hop and give them as much attention as you have mine.  We all need your loving!  (After 33 years of marriage, it's about all the loving I get!)  


Thursday, October 24, 2013

FTSF: Gabriela, The Demon Cat, Returns With A Halloween Story!

Hello Darlings!  I'm Back!!!
I was sitting here trying to come up with a special memory as to today's theme for FTSF.  Oh, I could remember the time that I went out corning cars, but I think I've told that story before.  (If not, ask me about it and I'll try to post it before Halloween.)  

I really didn't do a whole lot of Trick or Treating when I was a kid.  For one thing, I lived in the farmland of Indiana, so houses weren't right next door to each other.  My Halloween Party usually consisted of a 30 minute classroom party at school right before having to get on the bus to ride home.  Of course, this meant wearing whatever costume you'd chosen for that year on the bus, which immediately targeted you for the bullies in the back of the bus.  Since that was the only time I'd be in the costume, it really wasn't a big deal if it got torn or soiled while fighting some of the thugs.  Besides, they were much cheaper back then, anyway.

"BORING!  Why don't you let me tell a story about one of my Halloweens?"

"Gabriela, you've already told me about your past lives in the "Demon Cat" series that I've made a part of this blog on the tabs above.  What more could you tell me?"

"You just might be surprised!  Before getting fat here, because you feed me too much ... and, "No", I'm not complaining, I used to be a sexy mama.  
I always had a date on Halloween!"

"What did you go dressed as ... a black cat?"

"Oh, aren't you the smart ass!  Keep it up and my claws might accidentally find your groin one night when you're sleeping in that damn computer chair!"

"Okay, Okay ... I'll ease up.  So, are you going to tell me a story or not?"

"Why don't you do your standard posting of the FTSF hosts and rules 
and then we can talk?"

So, here we go!  I guess I'm going to have a guest poster today for Finish The Sentence Friday ... my female feline of the furry faction of ferocious facetiousness, Gabriela.  As she requested, let me first post the rules and the listing of the gracious hostesses with the mostesses:

In case you're just stopping in, today's theme is:   "One Halloween, I ... "

And, if you skimmed the first part of this in order to write a quick comment and didn't catch the conversation that took place, Gabriela is returning to the writing world with one of her stories.  So, I'm stepping away and giving the keyboard up to her.  (I know it's dangerous, but what the hell ... it's her reputation, not mine!)

So, I now give you Gabriela!

My Favorite!!
I Love This Stuff!
"Hi y'all!  I'm back.  Geesh, I never thought I'd get a chance to talk to y'all again.  Between Rich being selfish with the computer, his Internet provider being totally incompetent, and my past posts running off some of his conservative readers, he's been going through it!  Sometimes, I even wonder if he still loves me as Faletame seems to get most of his attention!  He does feed me well, though.  A lot better than his wife, Millie.  He always buys Little Friskies for me, which is definitely my favorite.  Millie bought some crap last week that ... well, let me just say I've tasted better kitty litter while cleaning myself!"

"Anyway, it's Halloween story time again.  This is going to be a short one since I don't have much space left.  So, here we go!"

"One of my previous lives owners had this boyfriend that I just couldn't stand.  You know the type, ladies, a real ass!  I swear, he
Don't They Make These
For Cats???
'd bring other girls into the apartment while my owner was away, for one.  And, other times, he'd go to the window and watch the teenage neighbor girl sunbathe in her little bikini. And, you wouldn't believe what he'd do while watching her!  Well, I'm too much of a lady to say, but you know!

He would even smoke that green stuff in those plastic baggies, and upon occasion, would hold me, blow smoke in my face, and laugh when I stumbled off!  Oh, I'd try to pull away, but he'd hold on tight.  What's a girl to do?  I had to breathe!  

Problem was, he'd never get me any food when the munchies set in!  Oh, he'd grab a bag of Ruffles or Fritos for himself, but never got me a thing!  What a selfish bastard!  A girl needs to eat, too!  And, please don't tell me he was helping me to keep my gorgeous figure.  I had my own ways of working it off, especially after I had my tubes tied!"

"Well, this kept up for months.  Drove me crazy, it did.  I just couldn't understand why my owner kept him around.  In fact, the only way I kept my sanity was knowing that I'd get back at him one day in my own special way.  Halloween provided just that opportunity!"

Okay, Okay, so maybe this stuff
wasn't that bad ... but I gotta eat, too!
"My owner was at work, as usual, and he was at home, as usual.  After smoking a couple of those funny smelling cigarettes, he actually stood up and went into the kitchen.  I was surprised, not only that he was standing up instead of lying back in his chair as was his standard habit, but that he didn't immediately come back out of there with a bag of munchies of some sort.  So, I strolled in there to see what he was up to."

Adding my own ingredients
always makes my treats
very special, indeed!

"Would you believe he had this big bag of green stuff, a box of brownie mix, some walnuts, a stick of butter, and an egg out on the counter?  Damn, that was more work than I'd ever seen him do!  Then he picked up the brownie mix, read the back of the box, opened it up, and poured it into a bowl.  Well, the urge to relieve himself must have hit as he stopped  and quickly went to his own kitty litter room.  As I heard the groaning start, a thought suddenly hit me.  Now, it was my chance to get even!"

"You may not like this, but remember, I've always had a little demon in me.  I jumped up on the counter, pawed the brownie mix to one side of the bowl, turned and squated, and let loose with a monster clunker of my own Little Friskies making! When done, I carefully covered up my treat with the brownie mix.  I jumped back down, ran to the living room, took my regular place on the top of the couch, and tried to look normal. (as if I could ever look normal being the gorgeous creature I am!)"

If You Dig Real Deep, You Just Might Find
My Magic Little Friskies Treasure!
"A couple of seconds later, here he stumbles to the kitchen.  He picks up the box and reads it again. (You know, short term memory problems!) Well, he finally sets it down, cracks open the egg and adds the bag of green stuff, the walnuts,  water, and butter.  Then, after smoking another one of those special cigarettes, he mixed up everything while he watched the neighbor girl and friends chat."

"I guess everything mixed up perfectly as he didn't notice anything special while pouring the mixture in the pan.  Into the oven it went.  After about twenty minutes, he took it out, let it cool a few minutes, cut it up into squares, and dug in!"  
Hmmm ... what do you mean they
seem to have a different taste this time?

"I think he first noticed a different taste, but was so stoned he ignored it and grabbed a second one ... and a third ... and kept going until he'd eaten over half of them.  I had to hide my face in my paws to keep him from seeing me laugh!"

"About that time, my owner got home.  Well, Mr. I'm-So-Wonderful-I-Amaze-Myself told her to grab one.  Now, I loved my owner and didn't want her to eat my crap, so I rushed to her and jumped in her lap as she picked one up.  She held it as she pet me, giving it's residual smell a chance to enter her nostrils.  I must say, my owner smiled at me, then looked over at her boyfriend, then looked back at me and smiled again, and set the brownie back on the plate.  And "Yes", by the end of the night, her boyfriend had eaten them all by himself!"

"So, one Halloween, I tricked my owner's boyfriend, and treated my owner to sharing a major laugh with me!  It didn't get much better than that!  Well, except to see him leave for good later in the evening.  Yep, the neighbor girl's mom had been watching as he'd been doing his thing while watching her daughter.  She'd come over, confronted him, and threatened to call the police on him!  My owner had told him to get out, and he left mad, especially when my owner wouldn't kiss him one last time!   I think she said something about how funny his burps were smelling, or something like that!"

"After that, my owner had one of her friends move in to help with the rent, but that's another story.  You might just find it in my "Demon Cat" pages in the title bar if you're interested.  Just remember, I haven't always been as lovable as I am now!"

"I hope that was gentle enough for you.  I really don't want to run off any more of Rich's readers.  Lord knows, he's lost enough on his own.  If you come back, or even just comment today, maybe he'll let me come back and guest post again!  Till then, keep smiling ... and remember, never leave unmixed brownies in the bowl when you go to the bathroom!  Now, what did I do with Faletame?"
Get Me Outta This Litter Box!!!!

Monday, October 14, 2013

Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday: Not My Regular Listening Material

Join the hop at
I must remember that this is Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday in this post.


Because, today, I dealt with an idiot to the greatest degree!

I won't turn this into a political posting.  Still, to listen to a loud mouthed, ignorant ass make numerous false accusations to many people, basically because of their race, was an unbelievable experience.  

This person, obviously one who feels yelling is the only way to get his point across, and that interrupting and insulting others is proving his intelligence, is a sad example of the way America has become.  

I won't bore you with the details, but let me just say his last comment, "I'm not stupid, I can read", was met with my reply, "You might want to start doing that then."  

I walked away to more ignorant insults from one who really doesn't have a clue about human communication, debate, or interaction.  Possibly, turning my back was an ultimate insult to him.  If so, I achieved what I intended.  If not, I kept from kicking his ass and losing my job.

Sometimes I hate my logic!

Perhaps dealing with intelligent people (for the most part) in the blogging world has made me somewhat blind to those that exist in a world of ignorance.  I deal with people every day in my position.  Still, this person was one character that rarely professionals rarely come into contact.  
He is a solid argument for eliminating all abortion laws.

Now, that being out of my system, and this being a music blog, we are supposed to bring about five songs outside of our normal listening genre that we love.  

This is a really tough one for me, as I'm all over the board with my listening habits!  It's like asking an M&M addict to pick out five M&M's that he loves, but doesn't eat often!  

Does that make sense?

Anyway, what I'm going to do is to list some songs that I love, but don't really want to listen the rest of the album.  Not necessarily "One Hit Wonders", but songs that stood out so much from the rest that after hearing them, there's no reason to listen to the others.

Does that make sense?

Okay, here's a song that I love, but I must say, I wasn't a fan of the rest of the album.  It came from a long running Broadway show that drew audiences in the millions. (All who will probably hate me for not loving the rest of the album.)  The song, "Memory" from the show CATS done so perfectly by Elaine Paige.
Who dares not to love that song?

Another song that I loved (at the time) but really had no desire to listen to the rest of the album came from some lovable creations of Jim Henson.  In the early 80's, I was a radio DJ, and sometimes would turn the mic on and horribly sing the last few lines of this song over the air.  (Screeching was more like it.)  Why?  I was a "wild and crazy guy", or DJ as some would acknowledge.  Plus, it kept the audience awake and wondering what in the Hell I'd do next!  From Jim Henson's muppets, it's "The Rainbow Connection."
Did you hear me?  Yep, I just can't resist still letting loose during the last few lines!  
(Consider yourself lucky I'm not still on the air!)

Let's take a trip into the land of Frank Sinatra for a second.  No, you won't hear me listening to Old Blue Eyes as I drive down the road.  In fact, I don't even want to imagine the stares and looks I'd get at stoplights by those with $2000 cars and $10,000 stereo boombox cars!  Still, Frank had some great songs, you must agree.  One that came out when I was young, and has now come to bring about new meaning as I grow old, er ... older, is this one.  It's the Mafia hitman's favorite, "It Was A Very Good Year."
How that song brings back memories of an ancient world and the journey to today.

Another one of the songs in this topic group today, one that I really do melt every time I hear it, was by an Australian beauty.  I'll never admit to listening to her, as will no man, but the way she melted us with her words and breathless voice has no comparison.  She's a remarkable woman, as you'll understand as soon as I say her name, having gone through several of the most ego challenging operations a woman can endure.  No doubt you know who it is by now.  Olivia Newton John and "I Honestly Love You."
 Please, give me a moment to compose myself and reform the ooze 
I melted into during that song.

Okay, I think I'm better now, although a great part of me is wanting to go back and listen to that one again and again.  See, there was this girl back then that .... naw, you don't want to hear about that.  Let's move on!

Now, people that know me understand that I'm a child of Rock 'n' Roll.  BeBop music was a little before my time.  However, I still remember watching many of the older movies on a Black & White TV on rainy Saturday afternoons.  It was during one of those that I discovered this gentleman.  I was amazed.  His energy was astounding!  Plus, he really looked like he was having a great time performing the song!  And, it was a whole movie about him!  The name of the movie, who knows!  I was a young kid and my memory doesn't go back to details like that.  I do remember watching him and Keely Smith do this song, though, and will never forget the way it made me feel.  It proved to me then that music was a factor in life that no one could live without.  Here's Louis Prima and Keely Smith doing "That Old Black Magic!"
Now, wasn't that a lot of fun?  
C'mon, you know you enjoyed it, even if it wasn't guitars and drums!

I guess along this vein of music is one artist that I truly was affected by.  Why?  Well, I'm Italian and so was he!  Besides that, he always ended up with the beautiful women, could sing better than most of his crooner friends, and got away with a sense of humor that others couldn't pull off.  He acted drunk 90% of the time on his television show, even though it was mostly an act. (Hey, if it works, go for it!)  Later, when he became the notorious spy, Matt Helm, he provided a comical look upon the spy movie genre that others had made so serious.  Here's Dean Martin with his signature song.
Wouldn't it be nice if everybody loved everybody all the time?

(Okay, my wife just gave me a dirty look after that comment. "What, honey? You want to see my phone call history?  You're just joking, right?  Please say you're just joking!")

Okay, you know I can't stop at five.  I've saved the best for last, at least in my mind it is. 

 (Damn, I wished I'd have planned this post better.  
Then I'd know what I was going to come up with next!)

I first heard this song when I was in grade school.  We used to sing it in chorus (before the days when music class was deemed unnecessary to the growth of youth by those without brains) and then would sing it with Janie during the Popeye Cartoon Show after school.  I know, it's kind of silly when you think of it, but are we really thinking of it when we sing it?  I mean, even though the political system and the caste system (oops, that slipped) in the United States is totally screwed up, and we have many ignorant asses (like the one I first described above) we can still travel around this country of ours (when the parks are open) and see wondrous beauty of Nature's efforts.  

I've lived in Europe and marveled to the beauty of the Emerald Isle, the Bavarian Woods, the flower fields of the Netherlands, and the magnificent Alps.  The poppy fields in Turkey are something to see, as are the wonders of South Africa, and everything in between.  Yet, in the United States, we have mountains, deserts, long rolling plains, and canyons beyond belief.  If man would only stop messing up what Nature has provided us, before it's too late, perhaps our great grandchildren will have an opportunity to enjoy this beauty as we have done.  Here's a Woody Guthrie song done by the original, "This Land Is Your Land."
Let us stop dreaming and start living the dream.  Isn't it time?

Does that make sense?


Friday, October 11, 2013

TTOT: I Thought We Won The War?

Lizzi has been with me this week.

Well, not in a physical sense, but in a omnipotent sort of way.

When I awake in the morning, I hear, 


When I'm at work,


Before I fall asleep at the keyboard each evening, 


Even when I'm cutting my toenails, 


So, here I am ... I've worked five thirteen hour days this week, written five blog posts, and am completely exhausted.  However, my back is sliced to pieces by the whip that cracks against it from across the big pond.  

I thought the United States 
won that damn war!

Coming up with Ten Things of Thankful may be more that I can muster this week.

 GET TO IT!!!"

She's such a ... well, wonderful lady (with a damn whip!).

So, here we go, Ten Things Of Thankful is underway!

I'm Thankful For:

1)  Ignorance without guilt.  The United States Government is still shut down, displaying the fact that none of them truly have no idea what the hell they're doing.  Both sides need to sit in a corner wearing a Dunce Hat, after writing 100 times on the chalkboard, "I'm stupid and I know it, I'm ridiculous and I show it, so, you'll think the next time you vote for me, won't you?"

2)  Pandora Radio.  Finally, a radio network made for my taste in music.  Stick in an artist's name and out comes songs that make me listen to the radio for a change.  Damn!  I wonder if Pandora Congress is on the horizon?

3)  Faletame and Gabriela, my two cats.  Every morning they meet me at my bedroom door wanting to give me love (although lately they've been run off by some booming English voice screaming about writing).  I used to look at it as they just wanted me to pet them.  Then, like a lightening flash, it hit me!  Why, they're coming to me to give me their loving!  They must really care about me to arise up from their slumber and have only me on their minds first thing in the morning!  Of course, after feeding them, they're back to sleep, but it's a nice thought anyway!

4)  My wife's retail schedule.  I love my wife, but I love her working a couple of hours later than me even more.  It gives me a little bit of "me" time.  A time to relax.  A time to get the work out of my mind.  A time to write!  A time to go to porn educational sites and learn new positions mind expansion subjects.

5)  Dancing With The Stars.  Thank goodness for this television program.  I can't stand it, but my wife loves it.  So, I now have her DVR'ing it in her bedroom.  That gives me another couple of hours a week of "me" time while she leaves me alone and goes to watch it there!  (Now if I can just get her to record, "Gray's Anatomy" in there ...)

6)  Music Downloading.  Yikes, you mean in the last month I've purchased 34 albums from!?!?  Holy Toledo!  Oh well, I am officially a music reviewer now, so maybe I can claim them as a business expense on my taxes.  Wait a minute, if the Federal Government is shut down, why am I still paying taxes?!?!?   Who's getting my money if most everyone is furloughed?  I'll be damned, the senators and representatives are still getting paid!  Those bastards!!!!  

7)  Real Readers.  No, not those that simply scan a blog, but those that actually read the blog.  They're the ones that recognize the underlying themes and jokes that are thrown in time to time.  They get to see the wonder of not only what I attempt to write, but what others struggle to perfect.  They are the few, the proud, the intelligent, that are more concerned about content than making a comment that makes no sense whatsoever.  They are treasured to anyone that pounds the keyboard seeking to please others.  (Let's see how many caught this one by the comments they leave, lol.)

8)  The planet Earth.  It's a beautiful place if you only take the time to view it.  From a single droplet of morning dew to the magnificence of the French Alps to the irony of Ayers Rock to the humor of a Colorado Medicinal Marijuana Clinic, the planet is filled with surprises, natural wonders, and life giving properties.  And, just think, if it wasn't here, we'd all be floating around wildly in space!

9)  Payday miniatures.  You know, Payday candy bars in bite size.  Nuts upon nuts upon a creamy caramel inside.  Cause, sometimes you feel like a nut, and that's when Payday pays off!  It's a diabetic's nightmare food and so freaking fantastic!  Plus, the nuts and caramel stay in your teeth for hours so you can enjoy them all evening long!  I imagine, if you didn't brush your teeth, you could probably even enjoy them at breakfast with your pancakes!  Yum Yum!

10)  Friends.  Yeah, friends like Lizzi and Kristi and Terrye and Kerri and Michael and so many of you that I could get a name book and copy it from A to Z.  Friends that give advice, take time to help you learn, come to your rescue when you're down and no one is commenting on your current posting.  Friends that will send you every dollar in their bank account just because they like you.  Well, a guy can dream, can't he?

* * * * * * * *
And that, my pennyless friends, is my posting for Ten Things of Thankful.  Don't blame me if you didn't like it.  I was forced into it by ... well, you know who.  If you really hated it, contact me and I'll give you her physical address.  Just remember, you've got a long way to row!
Okay, Lizzi, just joking!


Thursday, October 10, 2013

FTSF: Blog Censorship and the Good Life

I almost didn't join the hop today.

About an hour ago, I was interrupted by a Federal employee at the door.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"Yes, do you write a blog named 
"That's Life ... Sometimes???"

"Yes, I do ... or, I try.  See, I haven't technically learned how to write yet as I haven't passed any government test that states I wasn't left behind.  So, in essence, writing is only a hypothetical event in my life until such certification comes through."

He didn't see the humor.

"Sir, I am under order of the Federal Government to shut down your blog."

Damn, someone was reading this stuff!

I humbly asked, "What is the reason for this stoppage of something that doesn't really happen?"

"Well, sir, whether you know it or not, the Federal Government now has complete control over the Internet and what is posted there.  Your comments concerning the "herding of cattle" politically correct crowd have offended the herd ... er, politically correct crowd.

   In addition, your comments concerning the inefficiencies of the Federal Government have been described as somewhat terroristic in nature.  When you mention a possible revolution taking place, the White House has taken note and would like to question you as to where you derive your information.  They're asking if this information is based on revolutionary meetings, NRA publications, or if you've simply figured out how stupid they are and decided to go public with it on your own."

"So, you're telling me the cattle are upset?  Have you talked to a Federal vet about this?"
"No sir, all Federal vets are on furlough at this time."

"Okay, so, have you talked to the NSA about my supposed "terroristic" activities?"

"No sir, the NSA is operating with a minimal force at this time as most of them have also been furloughed."

"So, are you getting paid for coming to my house and hassling me?"

"Well ... you know, I'm not!"

"So, why are you doing it?"

"Damn it, I'm not doing it!  I quit!  When they start paying  me again, I'll be back!"

"Wait!  Before you leave ... got any smut on the Feds?"

I now have enough material to keep blogging for several years, or until the Federal Government and NSA starts back up!  Whatever comes first!

Okay, so I made all of that up.  Had you going though, didn't I?

This is once again Finish The Sentence Friday, and strong apologies must be made.  Out of laziness in forgetfulness, I have been posting a JPEG that omitted my sister from another mother, Kristi Campbell, from the list of Hostesses.  This really wasn't intentional.  I'm just an old procrastinator from way back.

Well, last week, Kristi and Lizzi reminded me of this omission.

My face was red.

After they got done with me, so was my tail!  (Easy with those whips, ladies!)

So, here, right below, newly produced, is the list of current hostesses and the rules of Finish the Sentence Friday!

Hope you liked it!
Now, get off my case!  (Just joking.)

Today's prompt is:
"Once, in public, I saw ..."

This is a tough one!

I live in public for the most part, as I'm dealing with the public in my job and stops.  Everywhere I go I'm dealing with the public.  So, I guess I'm supposed to go crazy and discuss all the weird things I've seen.

Instead, I'm going to spoil your fun and go this direction:

Once, in public, I saw hundreds of families laughing, crying, and enjoying the moment.

No matter where you looked, there were smiling faces enlightening the scene.  No frowns, no complaints, no one being offended ... just pure happiness being exhibited by all.  A moment of moments.  A happening of happenings.

The time was 1963.  I was nine years old.  It was August.

At the end of the kid's summer vacation time, the county fair was held.  From Monday through Saturday, 4-h'ers demonstrated their skills in raising livestock, preparing various projects, and performing community service stands for onlookers galore.  Every evening, starting at about 6 p.m., families loaded up their cars and kids and headed for an evening of clean fun, local rodeos, talent competitions, and other various events.
Photo credit: Thomas Hawk / Foter / CC BY-NC

And, then there was the Midway!  Carnival rides for all ages.  The Tilt-A-Whirl, the Scrambler, the Paratrooper, the Octopus, the Roller Coaster Roaster, and even the obligatory Ferris Wheel was there awaiting the teenagers and the adults who braved them.  The younger kids could enjoy riding various circular rides like Cars & Motorcycles, the Spinning Barrels, the Merry-Go-Round, and of course, spend all the time they wanted in the petting zoo.

The Midway also provided many ways for boyfriends to try to impress girlfriends by seeing how high they could use a mallet to ring the bell, shoot BB's at moving steel targets, throw plastic rings over the necks of glass bottles, or throw darts at balloons.  Many dollars were spent as the barkers did their jobs well.

Even the sideshows were there to bring about a sense of excitement and adventure.  Anacondas were on display as giant man-eating snakes.  Make-up reigned supreme for the bearded lady and other supposed freaks on display.  And, for adults (mostly men), there was always the ladies in skimpy outfits doing exotic dances.  

It was a good week for all attending.

However, the Saturday afternoon event was the highlight of the week.  This was the day of the county parade!
Photo credit: j3net / Foter / CC BY-NC

Organizations wanting recognition or saying, "Thank You" to their customers and friends had prepared colorful floats and threw out candies and beads.  Marching bands from the region came to show their talent and were dressed to the tee in their uniforms.  Antique cars and buggies were driven by, again, tossing out treats for the kids.  And, finally, the horses with their riders, all dressed up in their sparkle saddles and rhinestone outfits, ended the event. (Usually depositing horse defecation behind them on the street, making everyone laugh out loud at the natural occurrence.)

There were no people bitching at each other, no cell phones going off and no rude conversations being overheard, no hip hop music coming from cars in the area, and no gangs causing trouble.  It was a time when being armed meant your mom had a Kleenex, band aid, and needle and thread in her purse in case you had an accident.  It was a week of beauty.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could bring it back, if only for a week, so all of today's kids and families could experience the bliss it brought?

Okay, how about if it were for only a day?  

You could handle it for a day, couldn't you?

Couldn't you?