Monday, November 18, 2013

Twisted Mix-Tape Tuesday: Your Cheatin' Heart

who needs 'em?

Most of us do, 
I guess.

There's always good and bad in every relationship.  It's how both parties handle these factors that determines the final outcome.

Obviously, when the bad things out number the good, things generally go sour.  Factors such as incompatibility, excessive drug or alcohol usage, or even physical and/or mental abuse are usually the culprits in times like these.  

However, there are times that everything seems good, and they still go sour.  When that occurs, it's usually because of another person entering the picture.

Today's Twisted Mix-Tape Tuesday is all about that.  
Cheating Songs and such.

Having been married for 33 years, I could pretend difficulty in remembering three decades ago when all was not well in my life in the realm of relationships.  


Like things are perfect now!

But, that's something you never forget.  The act of the heart breaking stays with a person forever (especially if one had devoted themselves fully to making it work).  Sadness is too light a word to describe the devastation and total loss one experiences when it's discovered that they've been cheated on. 

Let's go back in time (Well, at least imagine you can. Geesh!)

Probably, most everyone had grade school sweethearts.  These relationships were more "Puppy Love" than anything else.  We were just finding out that the opposite sex had something of value, besides just being a target to tease.  No, we didn't really have many similar interests, but still, there was an attraction that couldn't be denied.


Later, in high school, some of us found that person we truly felt we wanted to be with the rest of our lives.  I remember mine ... let's just call her Ellen.  Shimmering dark hair of the night, lips so soft you'd swear they were comprised of cotton, a smile to set your soul on fire, and a body so warm and giving that there could never be any other.  Yes, I was in love!
Yeah, this was really me with my
high school love ... way, way back.

(And the shortest my hair would be for years!)
We dated each other exclusively for my last two years of high school, and for about seven months after that.  (I gave her the best years of my life!  lol)   Then, one evening, I felt that something was wrong.  Her kisses and hand holding didn't come as freely and her actions were somewhat mechanical in nature.  


What had I done to deserve this?  

I had been at college and she still in high school.  Yet, we still saw each other weekly.  And, we'd just become engaged two months before!  My fear of losing her was only matched by my curiosity as to what was the reason for her emotional distance.


I was beginning to freak the Hell out!!!

Of course, upon initial questioning, I received the typical response men have gotten for centuries when women don't want their deep, dark secrets to be known.  

"I don't know."

After continued questioning (no, I didn't pull out the rubber hose and spotlight), it finally hit me.  (I know, I'm dense at times, like most men.)


Could there be another?  

That was when I found out that there was!  As mentioned, she was still in high school and she stated that she didn't like walking the halls alone (how lame was that!!!), so she had found the boyfriend of another to walk with her.  I asked myself why this happened.  I knew he had a girlfriend, and my supposed true love had me.  So, they didn't need each other.


My imagination went crazy on me.  I began to envision them having evenings of hot passion together.  As much as I'd deny it, I couldn't get the pictures out of my mind.  The mental games continued and I could hear them talking about the affair to each other!


I was completely lost in a lost world of depression, anger, and emptiness.  My devotion to Ellen had been so strong.  I had completely stayed honest and true to her during what should have been a guy's "fun" years of high school.  I'd even joined her church and attended it twice a week, sitting beside her and her family.  They had trusted me with their daughter and allowed us much freedom as even they'd believed we'd be together forever.  They were as shocked as I.  Why had this guy come between us and how deep were the feelings?


For a few days we were divided.  (This was when I tried pot for the first time in my life!  Maybe I should've thanked her for that!)  Then, after walking on eggs and trying to rekindle the relationship, we tried getting back together for a week.  One might call this "Bombshell Week!"  

She admitted that she missed her friends commenting about the diamond engagement ring I'd bought her and wanted it back.  (You should have seen her face when I told her I'd returned it and got my money back!)  But, something else was amiss. (Besides me no longer having a diamond ring for her.).  In the week we'd been apart, she and I had changed. (In addition to me learning what it was like to get high!)  The solidity of the relationship foundation had crumbled.  We both knew it was over.  Still, that didn't stop the heartbreak I sustained as I realized for the first time in almost three years, I was alone.


And, that was it!  It was over and I had to survive.  For years, I dated one night stands, and even went through a couple of very deep and emotional relationships.  I was amazed at finding how many girls had wanted to date me, but had been quiet in respect for my relationship with Ellen, as well as others I met along the way.

I saw her one more time.  Before going into the military, Ellen's parents thought it a good idea for me to have a going away dinner with their family.  They seemed to really enjoy me being there again, but Ellen and I knew that would be the "last supper" for us.  After dinner, we gathered in the living room, making small talk, and Ellen fell asleep.  I thought it a good time to leave, and did so without allowing her parents to awaken her.  No need for the awkwardness of a final goodbye.  

I had found out that I was a marketable product that had a lot to offer someone, should they be looking.  Most importantly, I found that I didn't immediately need another person in my life to have a good time.  Life was what you made it.  No matter if I was on a date or solo, the fun I had depended strictly on me and my attitude, not some relationship.


Many years later, I met my future wife.  I always knew deep down that when I married, it would be for life.  Oh, there have been reasons for the marriage not to have lasted.  Those will not be discussed here.  (Yeah, gotta save some of the good stuff for another time!)  What is important is that my wife and I made it this far, through good times and bad times, and really have no reason to doubt that things will ever change. 

 Anniversary number 34 will be here in seven months, if we're both still around.  And, as much as I joke about her, I have to say that Gladys Knight and the Pips sing my words to her much better than I ever could.


Still, the act of the heart breaking is a grand part of everyone's history.  I'd love to say I got over Ellen and a few others that entered my inner fortress, but I honestly can't.  There will always be a part of my heart that holds them so near and dear to me.  Hate just isn't a part of my psyche.  But, the loves and heartbreaks I've had will always remain a vital part of my life and never die.  After all, isn't true love forever?


God, what a bunch of mushy crap!  

The bitch will be home shortly so I've got to finish this before she reads it 
and expects me to get all romantic.  

Let's see, what's on Monday Night Football?


Ciao!

*P.S.  A couple of years ago, Ellen found me on Facebook.  We communicated for a week or so.  She's been married three times since our engagement.  Hopefully, this one will work for her.  We caught up on how her family was doing and other nonessential chatter.  She, also, validated my thoughts of how deep our relationship had been, and how she'd made many mistakes.  

I never really looked at it that way.  It was simply a growing up experience.  

I wish her the best.

(And "Yes", my wife completely knows about it and the closure it brought!)

*          *           *           *          *

BTW:  Don't forget to read my music reviews and posts every Wednesday on 
RAISED ON RADIO

30 comments:

  1. I just snorted my wine.....and I am watching the Bruins while my husband watches the Pats in the other room. How's that for romance? But I am sorry your heart was broken. At least in this scenario she was the idiot and you the prince!

    Just this scenario....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kerri - So good to see you, my friend! There are many things I've snorted, but wine isn't one of them! lol You sound like my wife. (She's now in the bedroom watching the Voice.) Yeah, I wasn't always the ass I am today. It's taken many heartbreaks along the way to make me the man I currently am! :) I learned a long time ago that good guys usually finish last. Still, last isn't a bad place to be as long as you're happy with yourself. Many Thanks!

      Delete
  2. LoL! I second Kerri, I totally just guffawed at the last comment about your wife, and had to read it to my husband as we sit here amongst the mess that is our house and the kid who is trying to make lots of noise to get noticed. Real romantic!
    This post is awesome. Although we chose some of the same songs, you did this so much better than I did! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jen - My queen of the hop with the tricky publish button! :) You didn't really think I could stay serious the entire post did you? I have a reputation to maintain! Why, people might think I was an old softie if I didn't let loose with some sarcasm in every post. That's the last thing I want to happen! Glad you enjoyed the post. Great minds, you know! lol Many Thanks!

      Delete
  3. Bill Withers, Billy Paul, Gladys Knight and Luther. Fantastic music for an awesome post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dream - My sickie comrade on medication! Damn, it's hitting us both early this year, isn't it? I didn't realize I'd gone so much R&B until you listed them out. They just seemed to fit the tale I told so well. Pleased that you liked this one. Many Thanks!

      Delete
  4. I loved this post! You tell the story wonderfully - though I'm sorry you had your heart broken. And the musical selections were great with how you linked them in with the narrative (love the Righteous Brothers and Idol!). I have to say though - I think I probably could have done without your last one too :) I'm trying to be a football fan. But it's a work in progress.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Louise - Always good to have you visiting! Glad you enjoyed the post. We've all had our hearts broken. This week's theme just gave me a chance to tell my story. What!!! You didn't like the Monday Night Football video??? OMG!!!! lol It's impossible for me to be straight during a post, regardless of how serious it may be. Just a part of me I've found necessary over the years. :) Good luck on becoming a fan! Many Thanks!

      Delete
    2. I agree with Louise-I love the way you use the songs in a narrative.

      Delete
    3. Cynk - Glad you enjoyed this one. I liked your selections, too, but must be completely blind as I cannot find your comment section. Would love to share the love as you have. Many Thanks!

      Delete
  5. Amazing story-telling; I am glad that it had a happy ending after all with you meeting your wife. As far as Ellen's excuse (really?? not wanting to walk the halls alone??)... I only wish life were that simple now. Thanks for the read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephanie - Really good to see you here! Believe me, I'm glad it had a happy ending, too! lol She's not perfect, but I'm not either, so it keeps things interesting. Her excuse hit me like a rock at the time, seriously. Thinking about it now, it simply demonstrated immaturity ... which, considering our ages at the time, should have been expected. Appreciate the comments! Many Thanks!

      Delete
  6. WOW, what an amazing story. That sucks that Ellen was such a shallow bitch in highschool and wanted somebody to walk her to class after you'd made such an effort in going to church with her family and all! Although maybe we should thank her for the pot.
    Happy almost 34th anniversary. Isn't it amazing how much the past loves shape us and then we move on? How it's supposed to be, really...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, Sis! Something you didn't know about me, huh? lol Yeah, I'd totally committed my self to her. I guess, since my mother had died when I was 13, I was kind of looking for a woman in my life. She was definitely a hot lady, but of course, I was super popular in high school and worth hanging around for the benefits it wrought. lol Still, it was obviously much deeper with me than her. The pot ... well, I think that was probably just a matter of time anyway. As she didn't want to know about me going out and protesting the war and for civil rights, she wouldn't have wanted to know about that either. The anniversary is still a long way off. I just thank each day I wake up and take life as it comes. There's a level of comfort in getting older. Not that many people you feel you have to impress. We are all just a subtotal of our complete life. It just gets closer to the total as we get older. Many Thanks!

      Delete
  7. Wow, 33 years. It's not easy! Awesome music, Richard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michelle - Good of you to stop in! No, it hasn't been easy, but then again, nothing worth having is ever easy. Glad you enjoyed the songs! They seemed to go well with the theme. Many Thanks!

      Delete
  8. dude! nice work.

    (metaphorically speaking: 'he shoots…he scores!') lol

    Seriously, nice story telling. This week's theme will be interesting, this is my 'first stop' in making the rounds. I know Billy Paul will be a presence in many Post, but I struggled with the best way to describe his song in contrast to say, the Allman Brothers. You were there in the 70's there is a distinct over-air-conditioned, too dark for the daytime vibe to his song, and much of the rhythm and blues of that ear.
    The music of adultery! So rich (sorry, man) and varied!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clark - Thanks for stopping in, sir! It was an easy story to remember. Hit me pretty hard back then, for sure. R&B of that era and later seemed to demand candlelight and wine ... or pot and diet coke for some. lol There was a sensuality about it that didn't demand explicit lyrics, only words to form mind images of one's own choosing. I miss that sound greatly. Glad you enjoyed! Many Thanks!

      Delete
  9. Oh, I like Who Is He and What Is He To You? That's to the point, right? Ack! This made me think that I forgot to include CeeLo's F&*@# You! That one's hilarious. Loved this list and your new blog look is straight up trippin' excellent!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda - Thanks so much for stopping in today! Bill Withers has always been a fav artist of mine. His songs hit deep, whether they be kind or harsh, he doesn't hold back. Recently saw a documentary about him. Was kinda sad while still being interesting. Ceelo's clean version "Forget you" was the only one my wife knew. When I played the other for her, she freaked! lol Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the compliments! Many Thanks!

      Delete
  10. Your post and the story that goes with it, mid-way through, made me think of this song by Beverly Craven ...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqqYje3A8c0

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheri - Good to see you here! And "Thank You" for turning me on to Beverley Craven. After hearing that song, I went to Amazon.com and downloaded "The Very Best Of Beverley Craven" for $9.99. lol I can see where you'd find the comparison. Many Thanks!

      Delete
  11. I love the way you put this together. I'm sorry you got cheated on, but you gave us an incredible variety of music on this mixtape because of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sam - Thanks so much for your kind words. The music just seemed to come to me as the story was told. I think we've all experienced heartbreak. It's just a matter of continuing to find happiness if you don't at first succeed. Glad you liked the tunes! Many Thanks!

      Delete
  12. Cool storytelling and very creative post. (Love Bill Withers!) It’s so romantic too. Well, except for the part toward the ending, that is. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marcy - Thanks so much for visiting again! I'm happy you enjoyed this one. Yeah, you ought to know by now I can't leave well enough alone. lol I guess I have to live by the old comedy standard, "Always leave them laughing." Can't disappoint the reader now, can I? :) Many Thanks!

      Delete
  13. Oh man! I commented just a minute ago and it disappeared. Grrr.
    Okay...trying again.
    Is this a good time to tell you that I'm 34? Haha. You got married when avocado green and harvest gold were still in style. ;)
    Husby and I are coming up on 12 years in January, though. I've "friended" some exes on FB and it's interesting to see what's become of people over that time, lol.
    Good choices in the music selection. Every time I see "you've lost that lovin feelin" I think of how when I was in 5th grade and someone gave me some "oldies but goodies" tapes (yes, tapes, haha). I ended up loving every song on those and they gave me an appreciation for songs made before my time. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cyndi - My special lady of versatility! Really good to see you here! Don't have any idea why your comment disappeared. Perhaps Blogger doesn't allow sexual comments and profanity? lol Okay, so, are you trying to blame something on me here? I swear, I was no where near the Carolinas 34 years ago! I promise you that! (Shhh, you're gonna make my wife start wondering!) I have nothing against my ex of this story. We were young and life had so much more to offer. If I'd have gotten married, I would have missed out on so many of the adventures and experiences I've had. God, life could have been so boring. Glad you enjoyed the tunes. The Righteous Brothers were so powerful at times. Some of the older tunes have great depth and meaning. I guess that's why people still cover them in this day and age. We always have to listen and read current and past offerings. How else can we be so well rounded? Many Thanks!

      Delete
  14. Wow, 34 years?! That's... well, it's WOW! The only exes I had were relationships that lasted for all of 2 months or less, so I guess that doesn't really count. They didn't end well and I have absolutely no desire to find out how they are. Funny enough, a few months before Geoff and I got married he sent me contact details of this "amazing" photographer he wanted us to use. Guess who it was? The AH who'd treated me like a piece of rubbish and then dumped me just before Valentine's day. LOL! God has a funny sense of humour sometimes, I swear. Aaah Luther Vandross... can't go wrong with his songs :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melanie - Love to see your smiling face here! 34 years... yeah, that's a hell of a long time, isn't it? lol One of my relationships was kind of like a donut ... on a year ... off two years ... on a year .... oops, all gone! :) Of course, the second time around she was married, but that's another story for a future post. lol Love the AH story! Many Thanks!

      Delete