Monday, July 8, 2013

The Annual Running Of The Bulls ... And Bullsh***ers!!!

Pamplona, Spain 
is enjoying the 
"Running of the Bulls" 
once again!

There's a fool born 
every minute!

Let's examine this logically!

Hmmm, man has two legs 
and bulls have four.  

So, the odds are doubled in favor of the bulls.

Man has no horns 
and bulls have huge ones.  

Again, double the odds.

Many of the individuals running have been celebrating with alcoholic beverages
destroying their common sense and weakening their stamina.

Hey boys and girls, 
look at the bulls grinning from cheek to cheek!!


I'd like to see an annual running of the 
"Bulls and Bullsh***ers 
held in Washington, D.C. every July 4th!
(Talk about a REAL Independence Day!)

Think about it ... all politicians, lobbyists, and Chiefs of Staff, nervously trying to warm up, dressed in Red, White & Blue starter wear (and headbands) and old Converse All-Stars.

Behind them ... 2,000 Texas Longhorn and Brahma bulls, and 500 Mexican fighting bulls (representing the new minority) ... being ceaselessly tapped  with cattle prods, rising from underground hydraulic units, and sending electrical charges to their most tender, private parts (ouch!) just to get their mood right.

You Want My Dad!!! He's The Politician!!!

The run would cover the one mile distance between the Washington Monument and the steps of the Capitol.  Those contestants that survived and reached the steps could keep their office or government jobs one more year, or until the end of their term in office arrived, whichever came first.

Kind of gives the phrase, “Running for office” 
a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?

It’s my guess that after a year or two, we’d begin to see a whole new group of people becoming politicians.  No longer would the 30 year politician be around to gouge the voters (hopefully because of the lower posterior gouges they'd get from the bulls), as age and odds would no longer be in their favor.  Maybe the horn up the tail experience would even influence the Silver Spooned elitists to stay away, ensuring they'd still be around to enjoy their wealth.

Working class people would soon be shoo-in's for political offices.  

                                Run, Forrest, Run!!!

Huge monetary penalties could be imposed for 1) banning union participation, 2) outrageous CEO salaries, and 3) moving companies to China and Mexico.  In addition, the outspoken Huffpost Comment Front, supported by lawyers, television star ego seeking "brain doctors",  and uneducated Internet fools with false bravado's, would be banned from ever commenting, or even being seen in a public forum again!  (OMG, the cruelty of the world at its worst!!) In fact, it would be mandated they experience the next major hurricane (in person), by being set adrift on a small, rubber ducky pool raft five miles from the shoreline.   

Mercy, Please!!!  I'm Only A Secretary!!!!!
**Perhaps, the common sense masses would do away with the “No Child Gets Ahead” Federal Testing Standards so that our children could once again become educated. (What a concept!)  

**Perhaps, motherhood, prior to high school graduation, would no longer be financially supported by the government, but left to the personal accountability of the families (of both parties) that failed in their duties to properly instill morals and discipline in their children.  
(What a radical idea!)  

**And, what if, perhaps, responsibility and work ethic once again became society's expectations, instead of rarities?  (Okay, have I gone too far yet?)

Perhaps, that’s what Spain had in mind years ago 
when they started this annual event.

Perhaps, it’s just what we need to clean up the mess 
our society suffers from in the States.

Perhaps, it’s time the bullsh***ers in D.C. experience 
a little bullsh*t for themselves!!

Steak, anyone?
No Chik-Fil-A jokes, please!


  1. HAH! That would be awesome. They could do that here in the UK too and we'd all be grateful.

    1. Lizzi - My gosh, you're fast! I think you have another great threat that's being misused right now. Instead of using the Tower of London to display the Crown Jewels, use it as a place to remove the Family Jewels of all politicians that don't do as the people need. lol Not really a spectator sport, but extremely effective, I'm sure! :) Many Thanks!

  2. I live just outside DC. I'd DEFINITELY go watch all that Bull instead of the usual bull. :)

    1. Momopolize - Really good to have you visiting! Just think, they could charge a minor $5 admission and pay back the National Debt in only a few years! lol Plus, there's nothing like good ol' family fun on the 4th! Glad you stopped by. Many Thanks!

  3. This was beyond great. I think you just revamped the whole voting process. And it makes so much more sense your way.

    1. Kerri - Thanks for stopping in! Just another strange concept I thought of the other night. It would be one way to clear out Congress of those that abuse the powers of their office, which means most of them! lol Glad you enjoyed! Many Thanks!

  4. Where's the petition?! I'd sign it in a heartbeat! :D

    1. Terrye - Good of you to visit! (Not a lot of that going on today, lol) Wish I had one. Sadly, I don't think it would ever pass through Congress. Those folks have a way of self preserving their sanctimonious lifestyle. Many Thanks!

  5. Rich,
    You are awesome. Hilarious AND brilliant - a lovely combination. While I will not tell a Chick-fil-A joke, this did remind me of a joke. Here goes:
    A guy is visiting Spain and has entered a restaurant. He doesn't know what to order so is looking around at the other patrons' plates. Just then, a waiter delivers a delicious-looking platter to the table across the way. Huge steaming meatballs prepared in an amazing-looking (and smelling) tomato-based sauce. When the waiter asks the guy what he would like to order, he points to the meatball dish and says "that!"

    The waiter explains that the special dish must be ordered 24-hours in advance as it's a plate that results from the daily bull fight. The guy says "great! I'll be here tomorrow and would like that, please!"

    The next day he eagerly goes into the restaurant and is salivating over his anticipated meal. When the waiter delivers his plate, he looks down to see a tiny set of meatballs, that look nowhere near as scrumptious and large as the dish he had seen the day before.

    When the waiter comes back to check on him, the guy says "there's a problem - this isn't what I ordered! I wanted the extra-large meatballs that I saw yesterday - the result from the bullfight!"

    The waiter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry, sir. But sometimes, the bull wins."

    Have a great day!

    1. Kristi - Glad to see you finally made it home!!! lol Again, your words are only too kind. After answering your last comment on the previous blog post the other night, I flipped over to he news and there was the Bulls Running story. How could I resist? lol Like always, I just took it and ran with it. Could've been a little more humorous, but I wanted you to get the major laugh with your joke above! :) Many Thanks!

  6. Absolutely Brilliant! This should be a prerequisite for Inauguration as well, instead of the ride down Pennsylvania Ave.

    1. Cheryl - So good to see you again! Can't you see some of the previous elected running their butts down the avenue in front of the bulls?!?!? It would be like an episode of Betty White's reality show, only with more laughs! Great idea! I'm afraid the ASPCA would step in as any gouge would present a deep brown staining of the horns for the life of the bull! Many Thanks!