Friday, January 24, 2014

Ten Things Of Thankful: Purgatory, Justin Bieber and Get Over It

See All The Great Blogs In The Hop Here!!!!!

I have to be blunt.

(Like you'd expect anything 
else from me.)

I don't have any idea as to what I'm going to write about tonight.

(Like I ever do.)

But this is worse than usual.  
I think I'm brain dead. 

(I know, you're thinking, 
"What else is new?")

There are times one probably should just push the keyboard away and say, "The Hell with it!"

(This may be one of those times.)

I worked with a Methodist Pastor today.  He told me a few things about his denomination.  It started me thinking.

(OMG, that could be dangerous!)

I started coming up with all sorts of ridiculous questions and puns while dealing with him.  I wasn't being evil, but something inside of me just started up.  

I wondered:

  1. When a Pastor converts followers, is it call pastorizing?
  2. When a Methodist Pastor puts on his robe, does he still have clothes on underneath?  Or, does he just wear Jesus boxer shorts?
  3. If being a Methodist is similar to being a Catholic (except for being married), are our kids safer there than with a Priest that isn't supposed to have sex, but does?

... just to name a few.

For some reason, I also started thinking about Purgatory.  I've never really thought about it before.  I have always known that it's there for those not ready to go up, but not bad enough to go down, but I never really considered what it would be like to be in Purgatory.

Then, I remembered twenty-three hours I spent in the Atlanta airport many years ago.  I'd missed flights thanks to engine problems in Orlando, and it was the day before Christmas.  (If you've never flown in stand-by status the day before Christmas, you've never experienced life.)  

"Welcome to Purgatory International,
your home until decisions are made!
Then it hit me, Purgatory would be like that airport on that day ... only longer!  Everyone would be pissed off that they'd missed connections and couldn't go anywhere.  People would scream and shout at the mindless clerks behind the ticket counters that could only repeat, "There'll be another flight before New Years, just keep your eyes on the connecting screens."  An exhausted wannabe flyer would fall asleep next to you and droop over on your shoulder, drooling.  The plastic waiting chairs would become chairs of torture as your tail sought solace in a cushion, so rarely found.  The sandwich stands, with their green ham and cheese would overcharge you without mercy and taunt you with pictures of food that was actually edible, but not found anywhere.  And, the endless numbers of parents, walking endlessly throughout the airport, seeking enough seats for all to sit, were numb to the screams of weariness and frustration of their spouses.  

God would be up above gauging how each person reacted to each situation.  He'd be checking his list like Santa Claus, finding out who is naughty and nice, and calculating vacancies in Heaven's low rent housing district.  He would supply an open seat every once in a while for a worthy traveler to finally arrive at their sought out destination.  And, for those unworthy, constant rows of toilets missing any semblance of toilet tissue.  Oh, I might add, for those thinking themselves crafty, God was one step ahead by ensuring the airport to run out of makeshift toilet tissue in the form of napkins at the food stands hours before.

Something tells me I need to clean up my act if I don't want to spend much time there.

(Either that, or stock up on toilet paper!)

So, today we get together and spread thanks ... that we're not in Purgatory ... yet!

Ten Things of Thankful again hits the streets running.  

"See Lizzi Run!  See Lizzi Run!  
See Spot chase Lizzi!  See Spot chase Lizzi!  
See the dog catcher chase Spot!  See the dog catcher chase Spot!  
Welcome to a new form of Purgatory!"

I'm Thankful For:

"And they even got me a red
jumpsuit because they said
it was my color!"
1)  ... Justin Bieber.  I've never been a fan of Justa Beaver, but his actions this week in Florida had be roaring with laughter.  First, he gets taken for $75,000 at a strip club, and then he gets arrested for resisting arrest, speeding, and D.U.I.   He's still being sued by his California neighbor for damages ensued by an egging that took place from Beaver's estate, and his former girlfriend is now telling everyone he has a drug problem.  

Sorry, no mercy for the Beaver!  Here's a kid that was lucky enough to get discovered, but has decided to make his own path by hanging out with rappers with criminal records.  What's the old expression?  Oh yeah, "You can tell a lot about a person by who they hang out with."  His "crowd" is obviously milking the Beav for as much cash as they can (since most of them are fairly unknown) and he's letting them do it!  "Sorry, Beav, it's time to grow up, find some new friends, and get yourself straight.  Otherwise, we'll see your picture soon on the Grammy's as an artist "no longer with us."   By the way, the Cleavers disowned you!

"See, even as a President's wife, I'm
much funnier than you ever were!"
2)  ... Jay Leno.  For years, I watched Johnny Carson religiously.  Night after night I laughed and cried with the man.  Then, Jay Leno took over the Tonight Show.  

For twenty years, I've avoided the Tonight Show.  Yes, I tried watching the man who couldn't tell a joke right a few times, but my patience grew weary very quickly.  Movies, sporting events, and recently, all 43 episodes of the Walking Dead have sufficed to sate my night time viewing needs.  Now, I understand Jay is leaving.  

"Jay, you've given so much to the Tonight Show.  Kind of like an epidemic of bad jokes, unconcerned conversations, and painful hugs to members of rock groups you couldn't stand to listen to.  Jay, please, don't let the door hit you on the way out!  It's the only thing you haven't ruined during your stay there!"  (Yeah, my heart is breaking, can't you tell?)

"Eenie, Meanie, Minie, Moe .... "
3)  ... Pain pills!  There are many types to choose from, but unlike a Colorado pot customer, I let my doctor do the choosing for me.  If something is not strong enough, I ask her for something that will really knock me on my butt.  Best of all, they're legal!!!  Combine them with a muscle relaxer or two and you've got yourself an evening of pure, mellow enjoyment.  Of course, I really do have pains to deal with in my neck and shoulder area, but I will admit to taking them once or twice because they really do make you feel so much better.  Of course, if you have some in the house you must be sure to keep them away from the kids.  (Let them get a pain and get their own!  There's only so much sacrificing a parent can do!)

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to a
concoction that has all the abilities of a
modern laxative without having to be
purchased in a pharmacy!"
4)  ... Chili!  Is there anything any better than a hot, steaming bowl of chili on a cold Winter's day?  Absolutely not!   Hamburger, beans, elbow macaroni, onions, peppers, corn (Southwestern style), combined with all the right spices and a roll of Ritz Crackers, and you've got a meal fit for a King!  Cut up some Jalapeno peppers and hot onions, mix them together with a hair of water, and let them set in the fridge for two or three hours, and you’ve got the perfect mixture to add to the chili to get it to the temperature your stomach can handle without making you pay the next day!  (If you do overdo it, just make sure you’re not in Purgatory and have plenty of toilet tissue on hand!)

5)  ... Shoes.   It’s the ice and snow of Winter that really makes a person love shoes.  No, I’m not talking the “I’m gonna collect all the new styles” type of love, but simply the “Damn I’m glad I don’t have to go barefoot in that crap” type!

I know there are people who swear that they can walk on fire without hurting their feet.  “More power to them!”  My feet don’t like sand that's been sitting in the burning sun for hours, nor snow and ice, that’s sitting there just daring you to jump in barefoot!  Have you ever heard of someone sitting on the snow running their toes through it to cool them off?  HELL NO, YOU HAVEN’T!!!!  Even my wife, whose soles resemble Fred Flintstones’, wears something on her hooves feet in the Winter.  Sometimes, my feet get so cold I wish I had two pairs of shoes on!  That’s usually when I lay next to my wife and slowly put them on her backside.   (Gotta give it to her, even at her age, she’s still got some speed!)

6)  ... Basketball.  I know, you’re tired of hearing about how I love college basketball.  I’m afraid I have something to admit, it’s starting to get boring.  The kids are growing so big anymore that they fill up the court and don’t leave any room for maneuvering the ball.  So, to make the game more interesting, I recommend making the basketball twelve sided instead of round!  Think of how much fun dribbling would be.  One bounce and it’s a guessing game which direction it’s going!  They’d have to pass it so much more just to get it down the court to score, jump on it to stop it from going off in weird directions, and start wearing a little more padding to keep from getting all battered and bruised when they dived for it.  Wait a minute ... sounds kind of like football, doesn’t it?  Oh well, scratch number 6.

7)  ... Football.  (In particular, the Superbowl!)  So much hype over games that usually don’t live up to the praise and advertising they get.  It’s an excuse to get together with friends and enjoy a full day of hearing the same things said over and over, until the game starts and you get to see the same thing over and over.  Yeah, I’ll probably watch it just like you will.  If I didn’t, how else could I talk the next day about all the weird commercials that air?  (I’m wondering who what Go Daddy’s gonna show naked advertise this year?)

"I hate the way your perfume smells, too!
I just don't make you go outside
because I'm an adult and can adjust!"
8)  ... Outside Smoking Areas.  I’d like to personally thank all the politicians and bosses in the world that have decided smoker’s have to be put in the windiest and wettest places on Earth to smoke a cigarette.  OMG, to be seen smoking a cigarette would put such a stigma on an industry that they’d never recover!

Look, I understand that non smokers don’t want to smell our smoke.  So, here’s an option, I don’t blow my smoke in your face and you don’t blow your B.S. in mine!  Believe it or not, you’re not a superior creature because you don’t smoke, nor am I because I do.  Just remember, we’re all people in this world and you can’t be the only ones to have your way over and over again.  And, come up to me and tell me how dangerous smoking is to one’s health, and I’m likely to show you how dangerous degrading a smoker can be to yours!  

I don’t drink, but I don’t come up to you and tell you how bad your vomit smells when you do!  Nor do I complain about you always coming to work with a hangover.  Nor do I care about you wasting money drinking something you’re only going to throw up later!  In other words, “Get over it and shut the hell up!”  I promise, if you do that, I won’t flip a hot ash on the back of your sweater when you walk by!  

"Get Over It and Get A Life!!!"
9)  ... Offending People.  If I offended you in number 8, good.  What?  Yep, it’s good for you!  People are so uptight about being offended these days they’re pinching their ass cheeks so tight they’re gonna explode if they eat any chili!  Damn, people, it’s good to be offended!  It shows you have some personal feelings that don’t equal those of others.  It shows you still have some semblance of individual thought.  It shows you still have the guts to stand up for what you believe in even though everyone else may be against you!  It shows you’re not a damn cow that likes being herded like the rest of the politically correct crowd!

If we let the politically correct society rule us, we’ll all have scripts that have been okayed by the masses that we can speak to each other, and only the scripts.  We’ll all be wearing the same uniforms and walk or march in unison with each other so being out of step doesn’t offend anyone.  We’ll only have one television channel to view as we can only think one way and react only as society approves.

It’s time to stand up and quit being worried about being offended and toughen up your skin a little.  Grow some balls and remember you are important, too!  Don’t follow the herd. Think for yourself!

And, let’s get me a smoking area someplace where the chill factor isn’t 20 degrees below zero!

10)  ... Long Underwear.    Hey, you put me where it’s 20 below and what do you expect?  Sure, I look like I gained 15 lbs.  But, come outside and stand for ten minutes with me one day and we’ll see who’s the smart one!   Besides, it keeps one’s socks up amazingly well!

And, that’s it.  I had no idea where this was going an hour ago when I started it, and really don't see where it went once I did.  But, I have participated once again.  Lizzi is so happy.  She’s smiling!  Look, she’s coming to hug me for being a part of this once again!

See Lizzi Run!  See Lizzi Run!

Damn, I am in Purgatory!



  1. number nine is my fav...but there were soooooo many to choose from... you do good when you think you shouldn't write! ... Back to number 9...Thicker skin would change the world... damn Im so with you there I cant even comment past that other than to say I loved your list and the intro was just as good!

    1. Zoe - Thank you for coming by again! So, you're saying that I need to think I shouldn't write more often? lol Number 9 does get my crawl at times. Everyone is so offended over everything these days. Breaks my heart. They need to understand that the world doesn't change for them, but that they have to accept they won't always get their way. I swear, the world is filled with spoiled children anymore. It's getting more than ridiculous! Glad you enjoyed! Many Thanks!

    2. I did kinda say that didn't I? HA! Just keep writing Rich... You are always fun to read!

  2. It would terribly hard to pick a favorite from this more I could have hoped for list, Rich! I can't stand Justin Bieber. He's annoyed me from the minute he opened his mouth and flipped his hair. Here's hoping (in vain, I'm sure) he gets more than a slap on the wrist. He's a dumbass.
    I don't believe enough good things can be said about chili. I love the stuff and make a huge pot of it this week! I have to keep it tame for the kiddos but spice mine up just right! Love, love, love chili!
    As for offending people, I try. Sometimes I succeed. It's truly unfortunate we are no longer allowed to say what's on our mind without some person or organization getting their panties in a wad.
    All good points on a great list....looks like you had plenty to say!

    1. Sandy - So good to see you again! I've never been a Justa Beaver fan. Always thought he was over rated and completely spoiled. Now, he's proving it time and time again. Couldn't agree with your assessment more! Yes, I'm a real chili fan. My mom always put elbow macaroni in it, so I've forced my wife to do the same. She's gotten to the point she loves it that way. Offending people ... Lord knows I try! lol I usually use manners, instead of political correctness, in deciding what to say to people. I'm one of the lucky ones whose parents taught them to me, unlike many of those running their mouths today. In the 60's, it was our wish for everyone to just get along. It didn't mean we all had to be the same (as seems to be the norm today), but that we could accept each other for what we were and overcome the differences each presented. Of course, parents stopped teaching that over the years, and instead, pushed the mind doctors philosophies of self importance and power. Politicians recognized that if all were the same, they would be easier to herd and keep in line, instead of a bunch of individual thinkers that might just recognize what they were trying to get by with. Even teachers had to follow teaching guidelines set down by the government so that no child would get ahead. We live in a scary place. Reminds me of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 at times. If you haven't read it, it's a story about the future where Firemen actually set fires, instead of putting them out. And, books are what they set fire to so that they can control the general thought patterns of the populace. In a weird way, I see the similarities taking place more and more daily. Anyway, glad you liked this! Many Thanks!

  3. Oh, how do I love thee? I can't even count the ways. I love a person who writes priest jokes. My father had the hardest time with the concept of "limbo" a term they don't use any more.
    You can smoke in my....garage with us anytime. Well, we have in-home daycare and it pays for the groceries. My garage smells like an ashtray, but I can't in good conscience ask my husband and my older son (at times myself) to stay OUTSIDE in the -20 degree Chicago bitter wind.
    Not a Leno fan, I wish Joan Rivers would have gotten that job. I would have actually WATCHED it. She's hilarious.
    I'm making up a batch of chili right now, speaking of the various stinky stinks of Comfytown. I like your suggestions, I may just add that to this batch. I tend to make it different ways so we don't get sick of it. We have PLENTY of TP.
    It's amazing to me the people that will defend the Beav' for his increasingly disturbing (yet barely on the cusp of true rock n' roll rebellion) yet everyone was quick to bash a pro football player, just for saying he was the best in his business. Yes, there was more to it than that, but in an adrenal-driven game, was there REALLY more to it? I think not. Either way, the reactions of people are very interesting!
    Great post. As always.

    1. Joy - Hello, my friend! Yeah, I go overboard at times. lol Still, one has to just let it roll and forget about boundaries when making observations. I'm guessing the in-home daycare is not in the garage. :) I have, and always will, smoke in my house when at home. My wife doesn't care for it, but I tell her she married me with me doing it that way, and she's stuck. I know it's selfish, but I let her get away with plenty of other things to make it up. Workplaces are the things that get to me. They complain about cigarette butts on the ground after they've taken away all the ashtrays and customers have no place to dispose of the butts! Complete insanity! Justa Beaver ... well, as I said, "No Mercy!" He's a kid from the suburbs that wants to act like he came from the ghetto, so he buys his friends. Stupid kid needs to get what he deserves, for sure! Many Thanks!

  4. OMG....sooooo funny!!! It just kept getting better and better. :D

    1. Diane - So good of you to drop by. How's Riley doing of late? I'm going to have to stop by real soon and catch up. Just so little time, these days. Really glad you liked this! Just my take on things ... kind of. lol Many Thanks!

  5. It does seem that as a society we have lost our ability to disagree without taking offense, which is really too bad.

    1. Kristi - Thanks so much for stopping in! It is too bad. I couldn't agree more. We have to all recognize that different is better, instead of make it the way I want it. All of the great inventions and societies have been formed by individual thinkers. Slave societies are those in which no choice exists. The individual is so important and differences are what make us individuals. People need to wise up. Many Thanks!

  6. It was much more entertaining watching Brittany Spears and Lindsey Lohan self-destruct than the Biebs. He's not doing it right.
    Chili = good
    I have been wearing long underwear all week. Mine are an unbulky kind (Cuddle Duds, if you care to know) and have a very smooth surface. That means my jeans fall down and my long handles stay up, which is more attractive than you'll ever know.

    1. Dyanne - Good to see you this week! I think Miley could give the Beaver some lessons, too! Although, I wonder if Robin Thicke would let him Twerk against his leg at an awards show! lol I'm not going to talk about your long underwear, although I have the same problem with pants staying up while wearing mine. "Long Handles" is a term I'm not familiar with, but the imagination is going crazy right now! lol My wife seconds your thoughts about "never knowing." :) Many Thanks!

    2. "Long handles" is an old hillbilly term for long underwear, usually meaning those one-piece red ones with a drop seat, sometimes called a union suit.

      Heard today that The Biebs didn't know what prescription meds he had been taking when he was arrested, because his mommy doled them out to him and he hadn't seen the bottle. True story.

    3. Gotcha! My mind was going overtime thinking about something the human body offered that could be grabbed! lol Nothing like a real man to blame his mother for his situation, is there? lol God, what a duffas! Many Thanks!

  7. *smiling huge* You done well, bro!

    And I LOVE that you set out to offend and then to instruct us on not taking offense. Very sneaky.

    The pain meds sound good, but the reason for them doesn't.

    And the thing with cold feet - I DO THAT TO HUSBY! Because the man is HOT. I don't even know how he does it. Perhaps growing up in rural Ireland with no central heating has boosted his heat-making abilities into overdrive, but the man is a furnace. And I am perpetually cold. Right now, indoors, under a blanket and several layers, I cannot feel my legs from the knees down. *sigh*

    Your chili recipe sounds good. When are you having us all over for dinner?

    1. SIS!!!!! - Good to see you again! How's life in the land of those who talk with accents??? :) You caught me, didn't you? Yeah, I'm kind of sneaky at times. Some catch on, others don't. You're one that I can't get by, for sure! lol No, you don't do that to your hubby, do you? How cruel!!! I knew you were my sister!!! lol You can stop by whenever you'd like. Gabriela and Faletame would love to meet you! They keep saying, "Hey, if she's family, we'll accept her ... even if she talks with an accent!" Glad you liked this one. Many Thanks!

    2. I'll book y'all into my tour. And stock up on antihistamines first - as with Ruby, I'm GREAT with cats...from a distance. Up close I tend to swell up and go itchyrunnysneezy and it's quite unpleasant.

      And yeah - Iseeya bo!

  8. I'm not thankful for Justin Beiber. That mug shot makes me want to smack the smile off his face. I just can't be thankful for people who inspire me to violence.

    1. Cyn - Your timing is impeccable! I was just getting around to answering all the comments here. As you can tell, I'm not a Justa Beaver fan, either. I'm hoping the courts actually do something to him this time ... like take away his green card, so that he moves back to Canada and his old friends can knock some sense into him. I appreciate you stopping by! Many Thanks!

  9. You would probably hate my chili, as I don't put much spice in it. I'm a big wimp when it comes to spicy food.
    I agree that people get offended way too easily. People also are way too quick to make assumptions and opinions before they even take the time to think about what they've seen or heard. And with technology being a quick and easy way for people to put these opinions out there...we have a serious problem on our hands.
    Shoes! I can't believe our thankful lists have something in common! I actually was specific to a certain pair of boots, but I can't imagine anyone would have predicted our brains would have been going in the same direction. I might be a little disconcerted by that. ;)
    While I really feel sorry for the people who smoke and have to stand outside in all weather to do it, I am grateful for it, as it is a wonderful deterrent for my kids. We walk by them and I can say, "Look kids! This is the life of a smoker. You do not want to be a smoker."

    1. Christine - Love seeing your smile again! I'll eat all types of chili. In college, I made my first batch ever. Unfortunately, I didn't know you had to cook the elbow macaroni separate first. Talk about pastie taste! Bad thing was, I was low on money and couldn't go buy anything else. So, for a week, I had a bowl of starchy chili every night. (Who says I haven't suffered in my life? lol) I'd like to see a national campaign with billboards all over the place simply saying "Get Over It!" If I were to ever win a lotto, I think I'd do that, just for the hell of it. Shoes ... yep, all great minds think alike. Scares you ... doesn't it? lol Careful, my line of thought may be contagious with continued viewing! :) As far as smoking, well, when I grew up, your father gave you your first cigarette as a sign of becoming a man. How times have changed! Many Thanks!

  10. It's the middle of summer here, but omg I'm sure I could chow down on that bowl of chili.... mmmmm! Looks so good. Definitely going to make batches of that stuff in the slow cooker come wintertime. Aaaah, Justin Bieber. Who is now "retiring." Seems the kid is hooked on attention. Such a shame. At least Miley doesn't go around egging houses or peeing in public places and video taping it. :P Hope your weekend is going good :)

    1. Melanie - So good to see you here today! I'm not a summertime chili fan, unless it's on top of a hot dog. (And that's only about a once a summer occurrence.) But. in the Winter, OMG, who can live without it?!? Justa Beaver needs to retire ... into oblivion. He needs to take what money he has left, move back to Canada, and find a reclusive mountain cabin to spend the rest of his days in. Maybe he'd even find a mountain goat to share the cold nights with. lol Not a fan at all, but I know you'd never have guessed that. lol Many Thanks!

  11. hey Rich

    I for one, am grateful for you outside smoking area smokers! I used to smoke and I still love the smell, even the second hand smoke. I will cross the street if it lets me work through a crowd of outdoor smokers.

    (you know me well enough to know that I am serious)
    Hey Readers! I am not being sarcastic! I quit because an event occurred that caused me to quit without the slightest hangover, remorse or cravings ..just stopped. Didn't set out to quit. didn't want to but I did. But I did not stop smoking as many did, with a fear and loathing of the practice. But given how difficult it is to quit for most people (and the current cost of the practice) I am so not going to start again. Unless (or when I am on my death bed) then! if you are among my guests…bring a pack of Benson & Hedges…if they still make them or Camels if they don't.

    1. Clark - Good to see you, old friend! The primary factor in quitting is if you want to or not. I, personally, do not want to stop. I enjoy it, believe it or not, and will probably do it until I die again (for the third time). My father stopped thirty years ago, and still craves one to this day, so I understand your statement well. I have nothing against anyone that has stopped (as long as they don't preach to me about it), and wish them all the success in maintaining their stoppage. I've actually had relatives that were fine until they stopped. Within a couple of years, both had developed cancer and died within another year. It was almost as if smoking acted as a deterrent to the cancer coming on. Who knows? Stranger things have happened! And, if I'm still around, I'll seek out B&H's, and know where I can find Camels! :) Many Thanks!

  12. So, the chili gave everyone the runs and as they stand in the purgatory line to relieve ourselves, you throw in #9. Perfect finish!! Somehow we non-smokers and smokers need to figure out how to get along and stop the blame game.

    I might need to make chili for dinner tonight. Thanks for writing when you didn't feel like it.

    1. Rebecca - Thanks so much for stopping in! You know, it's weird but I never really know where these are going until they're completed. It's kind of like a puzzle in a box ... you know all the pieces are there without even having seen them, and may not be quite in the mood to put it together, but once you start, it fits together without thinking about it. I really have nothing against non smokers. I have feelings against those that consider themselves better than others because they may not accept what the others do. These are the ones that try to "hide" the embarrassment of having smoking employees, and forget that they happen to also be human beings. I agree, it would be so wonderful if all could get along. Good luck with the chili! Don't forget the onions and peppers! :) Many Thanks!

  13. Ah my fabulous brother from another mother - LOVE this. I think my favorite is the Justin Bieber photo caption - he really looks like crap in the red! HAHAH. What a moron. MMM chili. Now I wish I had some now. Just realized I never ate breakfast today.
    The caption under the smoker photo was awesome too - some people are stupid when it comes to applying perfume thinking more is better and it's NOT. Ick. I don't watch The Tonight Show. The cable shows (Orange is the New Black is my new favorite) are enough for me. Bye-bye, Jay! Looks like Rich won't be missing your chin!

    PS - Hey did you ask the Pastor guy about whether he wears clothes or just Jesus boxers under his robes? Because now I'm totally dying to know.

    1. Hey Sis! Thanks for coming by! Beaver is a jerk. That's really all there is to it. A very spoiled jerk. My wife made some chili Sunday night using chicken instead of hamburger. Please don't do that to your family. Chili must have BEEF!!!!! I had a lady tell me I smelled like smoke one day and I replied, "It's better than smelling like I spilled half a bottle of perfume on myself." (She still isn't talking to me, lol.) No, haven't asked the Pastor the questions. I figure we'll need something to talk about while awaiting the flight out of Purgatory one day! :) Many Thanks!

  14. I really didn't know it was possible to laugh from word one to word a million. But you my friend crack me up! As far as offending people I was at a fundraiser the other evening and the comedian made an ADD joke (about himself). He then followed up and saying that at a previous show someone came up to him and complained that if there was a person in the audience that had ADD they would have been offended. He replied, dude if they had ADD they weren't paying attention.

    I do have to say when you are in purgatory it will be the perfect time for you to education the Beaver....okay that just sounds wrong.

    1. Kerri - Really is good to see you coming around again! I try to make a smile occur every once in a while. It's nice to know I succeed a little. Oh, speaking of ADD jokes, did you hear the joke about the writer with ADD? I'd prefer not to see the Beav in Purgatory. He'd probably start to sing and I'd have to smack him and that would be the straw that broke the camel's back and sent me to Hell. Now, if I could sit with him at an airport while alive ... hmmmmm .... I may have to work on that. Oh, the joke? What joke? Many Thanks!

  15. I can remember when Leno took over, so I feel kinda old that I'm witnessing the next changing of the Tonight Show guard. I've avoided it too - like the fecking plague and I cannot tell you how glad I am that Fallon is taking over. Finally! Someone with talent. Fallon rocks. It's gonna be great.

    1. Linda - Good to see you, my friend! I remember holding back the tears as the Divine Miss M sang "One more for the road" to Johnny as his last guest. God, how utterly fitting and amazing the moment was. Now, the only song I can think of for Jay would be Ray Charles returning from the dead singing, "Hit the road, Jay, and dontcha come back no more, no more, no more, no more. Hit the road, Jay, and never come back no more!" lol I like Fallon, but I'd really like to see him do more solid interviews instead of using all the gimmicks to draw viewers. He could mature well. We'll just have to see. Oh, liked your review of the Grammys. I thought the sound mixing was atrocious, but liked the variety as you pointed out. Many Thanks!