Thursday, November 28, 2013

Twas the Night of the Zombie Thanksgiving Turkey Clones!!!

Revenge Will Be Sweet!!!!!
Twas the night before Thanksgiving

And all through the house,

The cats were being assholes

as they toyed with a mouse.

The snores from my wife's bedroom

rattled the neighbor's windows next door,

Which disturbed her nice income

Rhythm breaking the old whore.

And me in my sweat suit, 

iced Diet Coke in hand,

had just settled down 

to the Homemade Jazz Band.

Suddenly, from the kitchen, there arose such a clatter,

My cats said, "Get your ass up and see what's the matter!"

Grabbing my .9 mm, I entered and hit the light,

I nearly crapped my pants as I saw the strange sight!

How do you kill a dancing, killer
Zombie Turkey???
The thawed out turkey had thrown open the fridge's heavy door,

and was slipping and sliding on the cheaply tiled floor.

"Could I have a Zombie Turkey" thought entered my mind,

as I stood there standing shocked at what I did find.

Could the turkeys of the country have risen up from the grave,

and be planning sweet revenge in making us their mind slave?

Was this happening the world over, 

in everyone's kitchen this night?

And, if so, what could we do,

against them how would we fight?

The cats transformed into Zombie Turkey
Killer Cats!!!!!
No head to shoot off, no heart to shoot out,

just tender meat and hollow bones,

Already dead, we'd been promised,

no killer zombie turkey clones.

Faletame and Gabriela, 

high arching their spines,

ears constantly flinching 

at the turkey's mournful whines.

"Go F-Man, no hesitation,

attack it you see,

Do it G-Girl, slice it to pieces,

Before it kills you and me!

Take Off My Feathers, Freeze Me,
Thaw Me In The Fridge, and then
Bake Me!!!   You'd be pissed, too!!!

Now, it's over, the cats are happy

cleaning whiskers and mouth,

turkey's nothing but bones and gristle

scattered through this kitchen in the South.

What a year, this has been, 

in this country in which we live.

Obamacare, gun control, 

more taxes we must give.

Now, zombie turkeys on Thanksgiving,

Aw, the hell with this ....

Where's my medical marijuana?

Hope you enjoyed, this little tale

of Thanksgiving eve night,

Happy Thanksgiving to all,

And to all a "Good Night!"

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!


  1. That poem is hilarious! Zombie turkey? Now here's what I want to know: if your turkey REALLY fell out of the refrigerator as the inspiration for this post. LOL.
    Happy Zombie...I mean Turkey Day. :)

    1. Cyndi - Happy Thanksgiving! Glad you enjoyed this little tidbit. Actually, I fell asleep at the computer last night, and when I awoke, decided to do a little something different than just "hop" posts. This was a quick and easy way to achieve that. Hope you have a great day! Many Thanks!

  2. Clearly, you're a man of many talents, Rich. Enjoy your Thanksgiving.

    1. Bryan - Thanks for visiting! As I thought, this would not be the day to acquire many views. Still, it was fun just coming up with something different. Many Thanks!

  3. Ha! Did you check to see if one of the cats was INSIDE the turkey, plotting the whole evil thing? It would not surprise me at all.
    Happy Thanksgiving!

    1. Joy - So, my link worked and I got another view in this lonely post! lol Thank you! No, the cats were both by my side! I think my wife had tried to find one on sale and thought she'd located a real bargain. Sometimes, it's just worth spending another dollar or two to keep zombies out of the house! Many Thanks!

  4. Yup. This confirms it. You are, indeed, the master of hilarity. The master.

    1. Sis! You are getting around! :) Just a little something I did to get the blog hop bug out of my system. Needed something completely different. Never was one to ride in the groove for too long. Gets boring. Glad you enjoyed!