Thursday, October 10, 2013

I'm A Twitter Dummy ... So Tweet That!!!

I'm a Twitter dummy.

I just read Julie DeNean's article about Twitter  ... and I'm still somewhat lost.  That's bad, because this article was written with the slow witted person in mind.  

Yeah, she had me in mind, 
I'm sure!

Julie DeNean professionally produced it knowing that there were some people that simply didn't get it.  So, she kindly provided a step by step process, complete definitions, beautiful directions, and even pictures.

I still don't get it.

Then again, I've never been one to follow trends.

To me, Twittering is something that a bird does.  

I'm obviously not a bird.  Birds don't smoke.

Howie Mandel constantly tweets on America's Got Talent.  I'm happy for him.  One day, he'll get a real life.  Then again, Howie Mandel is a multi-millionaire.  

Maybe he's onto something.

I joined Twitter over a year ago as a means to promote my blog.  Instead, I get notifications every time someone else promotes my blog.  I really should Tweet to thank them for doing so, but I don't know how.  So, I sit here, looking at all the promoting going on, and feel somewhat helpless as others do my work for me.

At least I'm not a complete 
self promoting ass!

I receive Tweets from others as well.  Tom Crean, the coach of Indiana University's basketball team is on my Twitter list to follow.  He seems like a nice guy.  

I wonder if Tweeting people makes you a nice person? 
Nawwwwww, just coaching the right team does! 

A while back, several people I know held a Twitter party.  Afterwards, a couple of them that hosted it got banned from Twitter for a while.  I guess Twitter doesn't want people communicating party information, only Tweeting nonsensical codes.

Twitter sounds like a group of politicians with everyone trying to say something at once, according to the latest trend, but no one really understands what's being said.  No wonder the rest of the world looks at our government and shakes it head in disbelief.

By the way, I wonder how 
John McCain's 
video poker game is going?

I wonder if twerking can be done on Twitter?  Miley Cyrus is supposedly Tweeting on Twitter about her Twerking all the time. 

 Whatever happened to the dance called the Twist?  If someone Tweeted on Twitter about Twisting, and someone else Tweeted on Twitter about Twerking, would it be called a Twisting Twerking day on Twitter trend, or a Twerking Twisted trend on Twitter? 

Would it really matter?

I guess the politicians would care.  According to them, they care about everything.  Or, so they Tweet.  But, I bet it's really their aides that are doing the Tweeting.  

(My apologies, I gave the politicians too much credit for Twitter knowledge.  
Please excuse me, I've been sick the last few days.)

So, for now, I must make efforts to tweak my twerking, twisted Twitter skills.  Then, one day, I'll understand Twitter.  Of course, by that time, everyone will be doing something else.  

That's okay.  That will provide a topic for another blog.  

Of course, by then 
I might be twitching.

Would that be a twitching Tweet about twisted twerking tweak, then, or a tweak about a twerking twisted Tweet about twitching?  Or, is that what happens when one Tweets while driving?

One might say this whole thing resembles a pile of twisted El Toro defecation.

It might be fun to see that Tweeted.  

Just be sure to wash your hands 
if you receive it!


  1. I sort of "understand" how twitter works now, the problem is I can't keep up. If I get up for a couple of minutes to get my coffee, there will be like 500 new tweets when I get back. I just give up sometimes. I'm a tweet and run kind of tweep. :)

    1. Jhanis - Really appreciate you stopping in! I'm not one to sit and stare at my phone all day. Just too much to do. That may be one reason I'm somewhat negligent in attempting to perfect my knowledge. And, I know what you mean about all the tweets. I do exactly as you do (and I love your expression) tweet and run! There are times I wish I could respond to those that push my stuff there, though. I'm going to have to get serious about it ... or at least ... more serious about learning it in the future. Many Thanks!

  2. I'm a Twit and you're a Twit, so let's be Twits together - we can Tweet all kinds of junk 'bout Twerks and Twerps and (wha)Twever...

    1. Lizzi - Thanks for tweeting by! I wish I could tweet all sorts of stuff, as I almost feel left out at times. Actually, there's some guilt also as I see MJM and others tweeting about all of us, and I really don't know how to Twitter back. So, I look like I'm ignoring it and being a rude ass, I guess. Oh well, at least now people know why. Many Thanks!

    2. Just jump in with both feet at the deep end. You'd soon surface. 140 chars, whatever you want. Hashtags for irony or emphasis, @ to include someone you know.

    3. You make it seem so easy. I'll give it a shot!

  3. This is awesome, Rich. I don't even have a Twitter account, so your confusion is my confusion.

    1. Chistine - Really good of you to visit! I'm really lost when it comes to all the hashtags and stuff. I need to take more time as I've been told Twitter is where you really get a lot of readers, but damn, I just don't have the time to study and feel comfortable doing it. Maybe, one day, they'll come out with a "Twitter for Dummies" publication, and I'll get it then. Happy you liked this! Many Thanks!

    2. Christine's a troglodyte though. You're tech.


      I've still not figured out how to get any site traffic from twitter. I use it to connect with friends, hold conversations about going to the stars on Orca, the space whale, to encourage my friends in squats challenges, to send small notes of loveliness and just cement connections.

      I'll include you in a few - just respond, and you'll get the hang of it!

    3. Lizzi - Easy now, Christine's a Hoosier! We're a tight bunch! lol Thanks for including me. Keep in mind my schedule at work doesn't allow much time for other things though. Many Thanks!

    4. Ack. Whatever ;)

      The beauty of Twitter is that it's QUICK! It's 'filler'. It's 'in-between-the-other-stuff'.

    5. Don't listen to her, Rich. She's been on my case for a loooong time about getting on Twitter. I've resisted. She'll even call you big words you have to look up, in an effort to shame you into joining in.
      Who needs more readers, anyway? :)

  4. When I first joined Twitter, I found it overwhelming. And then I tried to join a Twitter party a few months later. Holy hell, that was insane! There were so many conversations going on at once, I just about lost my mind. After that, regular one-sided tweets seemed pretty tame.

    My golden rule for Twitter: focus your attention on a small group of tweeters you'd like to connect with, and retweet or reply to them. Although the "tweet and run" approach works too.

    1. Suzanne - I appreciate you stopping by today! Yes, overwhelming might be an understatement here. I thought it was just tidbits of info, instead of a continual conversation, as I've recently learned. Those are some good recommendations. I will take them to heart and give them a shot. Many Thanks!

  5. Don't feel bad, I'm a Twittard too.

    I use it like crazy, but I still don't know it well enough to explain to it anyone else, every time I sign in I'm learning something new about it.

    Unfortunately for us writers, it's a necessary evil.

    1. MJM - Hello, my friend! Good to see you back! You're one of the best at Twittering. In fact, you are one of the primary reasons I started investigating it further. All the tweets you make that include me ... well, I feel guilty not responding as I see all you do for me and others. Believe me, I'm not ignoring them, just kind of lost on the procedure which follows. Allow me to publicly thank you for all you do! Seriously, many thanks!

  6. i prefer FB over twitter. it all seems about the same to me.

    but, i do love hashtags. do you think they have replaced "air quotes"?

    and, i believe you meant to type Kentucky not Indiana ;-} are you an announcer of anything i might be familiar? i finally checked the map and see that you are in the heart of the great big blue nation.

    1. Misty - Facebook and I can get along. Oh, I don't know all the little emocans (or, whatever the heck they are called), but I can navigate it with no problem. Twitter has me lost, seriously. I'm almost as lost as the "Kentucky/Indiana" statement. lol No, I went to college at Indiana University and am a Cream & Crimson Hoosier living in an dangerous place. :) My wife is also from out of state and supports Alabama. Guess you might say we're transplants. Nothing you'd be familiar with anymore ... that's all in my past. Many Thanks!

  7. Oh Rich! I know, I'm a week behind reading this, and this is why I usually don't comment. By the time I've gotten my email under control enough to read my favorite bloggers, I'm reading a post from a week ago. However, this really struck a chord, and I appreciated your amusing, alluring alliteration regarding twiching/tweaking/twerking twittering.

    I don't really get Twitter either, I occasionally Tweet, to myself and it's like a tree falling in a forest with no one around to hear it. I am even worse at figuring out Google+, but it's all on my "To DO...Eventually" list, and like you, I hope soon it will be something else so I can just skip these entirely. We can pretty much forget Instagram, which I'm told was pictures and videos, but since you can put those on Facebook, I'll just stick to that. And my good old Blogger dashboard!

    1. Joy - It doesn't matter how long it takes you to show up, you're always welcome! :) I tend to only tweet when I'm posting something. Joining in conversations, even with the help MJM and Lizzi have provided me in the last week, seems to be far beyond my full understanding. Maybe it will click someday. I doubt it, but maybe. I think I'm still in the "Candy-Gram" stage from the 70's right now. lol Good to see there's someone like me in this area. Many Thanks!