Friday, August 2, 2013

FTSF: Growing Up and Bucket List

Fridays have always been a special day in my life.  

Pre-school memories of going down to the corner to catch a station wagon style bus that would take us to the "big" city of Bloomington, Indiana.  (Well, it was bigger than the town of 4,000 rednecks that I grew up near.) 

 We'd eat a lunch at a dime store counter (usually a nutritious hamburger and fries), check out what the store offered in the Toy Section  (and cry and scream until I got something), and then head to one of three theaters that the big city had to offer (so my mom could meet her boyfriend).  After that, we'd walk seven or eight blocks to the Loudon's Grocery Store, do our shopping (while I stayed in the magazine section and sneaked looks at Playboy Magazines), and wait on my father to come pick us up when he got off of work (so we could listen to him bitch about how much money my mother had spent there).

My high school years brought Friday basketball games into the picture.  They were the highlight of the weekend and usually drew crowds of 2-3,000 people.  (Imagine 3,000 screaming subhumans in a saliva frothing frenzy!)  If you've ever seen the movie Hoosiers, you understand the fever of the crowds and the excitement of the events.  Later, when my school finally decided to bring in football, that filled the early Fall Friday evenings (with pain, I might add).

During my days as an on air broadcaster, Fridays always brought us to a different location as we did remote broadcasts, giving us a chance to meet our fans. (Rock music radio fans have always been a strange bunch, especially those in love with DJ's.)  As a district manager, Fridays meant I could leave Baton Rouge and head back to Alabama to spend the weekend with my family. (Let's drive 3 hours home to get nagged!)  And, in Stand-Up Comedy, Fridays always meant the largest and loudest audiences looking for a good laugh.  (And to get drunk, try to drive home, and get their licenses suspended.)


Now, we have FTSF!!!  
(Aren't you glad the travelogue from my past is finally over!)


Finish The Sentence Friday is when our gracious hostesses 
(listed below with the rules) 
give us a sentence to finish and expect us to do our best to keep the audience interested.  This week's sentence prompt is:


My Bucket List Includes ...

So, without further ado, here's what my bucket list includes:


1)  Beach Buckets!   What afternoon at the beach would be complete without a beach bucket or two?  Whether you're thinking of burying yourself or loved one in the sand, simply building a sand castle, or even covering up that nice, hot, steamy pile of crap your dog just let loose, your efforts will be much easier with a beach bucket and shovel.

  "Remember, instead of sand in hand, cover the poo with sand from a bucket, instead of just saying, "F**k it""



2)  Stack-O-Buckets!  Who knows what chores you'll need a bucket for around the house.  There's dogs to dunk and kids to clean up after.  Husbands may need one for washing the car or truck.  Why, on an exceptional day after having been nagged for weeks, they may even need one to clean up the garage floor.  (Don' bet on that one!)  Inside the house, there's the tile to clean, kitty litter to change, and diaper leakage to get out of those deep pile carpets.  Bucket, Bucket, whose got the bucket?  Why, you do, and plenty of them!





3)  Wooden Buckets!  These work great when carrying in walnuts, peaches, apples, or even hickory nuts from those outside trees that make mowing the lawn a nightmare.  This wooden bucket is lightweight and easy to swing back and forth to bring about bruises to young children looking to go to child services and make proclamation of parental abuse.  




4)  Steel Buckets!  Every basement needs a steel bucket.  Unless you have a coal furnace (which means you need to upgrade to either gas or electricity soon, fool) there are very few uses for a steel bucket.  Generally, these will be used as temporary ashtrays, waste baskets, or urinals when the women of the house are living in all the available bathrooms for three hours a day.  Still, when that prize gerbil dies, these make great holding cells until the Winter ground thaws!





5)  Commercial Floor Mopping Buckets!  If you want to make your neighbors think that you're working your butt off trying to keep the house clean, you definitely need one of these.  Wait until the majority of your neighbors are within view, fill the bucket up with water, and take it out the door and dump it where all can see you!  Your standing in the community as a hard working homemaker will rise immediately!

So, now you know what my bucket list contains.  I really don't understand why anyone would be interested in this, but I must comply with the wishes of the hostesses.  I do have to question some of their prompts at times, though!


Oh, a Bucket List means a list of things you want to do before you die?  

Really?  You're joshing me!  

No?  

Oh, well, I'm already done.  

Hell, I'll have to talk about that some other time.  

Meanwhile, won't you grab a bucket and join me?


20 comments:

  1. You forgot the *gag at the obvious pun* bucket...

    LOVE it.

    (Srsly? Indiana? That must be the world capital of cool people!)

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    1. Lizzi - Ah, but the obvious must not be present. It keeps the expectations high and the suspense even at a greater altitude! lol There are a lot of cool people from Indiana. Can't name any, but there are! :) When I went to Indiana University, it was Playboy Magazine's number one party school in the U.S. Oh, and they held classes, too! Many Thanks!

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  2. OMG...way too funny. Love to read how Fridays changed for you, lol

    http://dinoheromommy.com/

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    1. Karen - Glad you enjoyed this little trip through memory lane and the hardware aisle! It's what takes place when it's one o'clock in the morning and all you can think to write about is the Cleveland Kidnapper. So, instead, you start rambling and this is what transpires. The brain is a terrible thing to waste, but I do my best! lol Many Thanks!

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  3. HA you never cease to amaze or humor me :)

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    1. Kerri - So good to see you here again! Sometimes, I amaze myself, too. lol This is another instance of waiting too long to write something good, so you just let it go and see what happens. :) Glad you liked it! Many Thanks!

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  4. Rich, only you and seriously I can't say enough that you really do leave me in stitches with your humor. Thanks for that on this quiet Friday morning!! :)

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    1. Janine - Thank God there's only one of me, right? lol Good to see you back here. Oh, btw, my I-Phone can't comment on your blog for some reason. I've tried several times and it will show it there, but when I submit, it mysteriously vanishes. I think I'm hexed! :) Glad you enjoyed this! Many Thanks!

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  5. Thank you for the Friday Funnies Richard.

    Sending you a bucket full of good wishes.

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    1. Susan - My goodness you are only too polite! It's almost like dealing with my wife when she wants something! lol Seriously, I am very happy you enjoyed this little faire. Your bucket did arrive, btw. I'm going to hold on to the wishes until I play Powerball tomorrow night! Many Thanks!

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  6. Lol...Your sense of humor always surprises me. I am still taking on how to take up this FTSF sentence of the day, which I definitely wanted to attack it the humor way...you did it magnificently!

    Have a wonderful weekend, Rich

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    1. Ruchira, my friend, I love surprising you ..... BOO! Gotcha! Seriously, your words are so very kind. I don't deserve them, but will happily take them and run! lol I can't wait to get off of work so I can read how yours came out. Many Thanks!

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    1. Tracy - Really good to have you visit here! I actually had a couple of other buckets to add, but it was late and I felt ice buckets had already been the subject matter of too many intelligent late night conversations. :) Feel free to come back any time! Many Thanks!

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  8. First of all, I actually enjoyed the travelogue immensely. I want more posts like that please! You've managed to recreate the atmosphere so well and I love hearing about childhood experiences so different from my own!

    As for the bucket list, it rocks! And those are some very elegant beach buckets, I must add. None of mine of my children's had ever looked that good. I have to see it again, I LOVE how your mind works. I would never come up with THAT bucket list.

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    1. Katia - You are very kind. I tend to stay away from the travelogues as much as possible to avoid being confused with an old fart that can only talk about the past. lol But, when my creativity fails me, there's always that to rely on for sure. The beach buckets are fairly inexpensive, from my understanding. Still, living hundreds of miles away from a real beach tends to take the immediacy of need out of purchasing them. :) Actually, my mind was half asleep when I wrote this one. If it had been working, it would have been much much better! Many Thanks!

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  9. Hey stop typing about screaming until you get something because I think you just reminded my son what a marshmallow I am (and the word marshmallow is so dumb. why isn't it marshmello?) who always buys him something. My hubs came from redneck stock too. Maybe why I like you so much. Hey did your mom really have a boyfriend? Mine did.
    (end travelogue part)

    Dude. Best, funniest bucket list ever. Ever. Nailed it!

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    1. Kristi - Good to see you! Screaming? Me? Only years ago as I and other kids since learned that parents would rather buy than listen! lol Yes, there were rednecks in the town I grew up in, but I went the other direction. I think I was the first real hippie our town had. Even the district court judge had a vendetta out for me, but never was able to catch me. :) And the bucket list ... well, it is a bucket list ... right? Just taking things literally! lol Thanks, Kristi, glad you enjoyed it!

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  10. Stand-up, huh? I get it. Maybe, it's this fabulous bucket list that did it. I have a beef with the name Bucket List. Shouldn't it either be a bucket OR a list?

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