Tuesday, July 16, 2013

My Take On Rare Vintage Photos

Survivors from the Titanic being taken aboard the Carpathia
after the fatal sinking.  Cries were heard of,
"God, not another ship!
Where's the damn Boeing 747 when you need it?"
It is often said, 

"Those who fail
 to remember the past 
are doomed to
repeat it!"

In other words,

"Man is so stupid he will do dumb stuff over 
and over,
given the chance!"

We continually prove it! 

It's almost like all of mankind is smoking pot and is having a hard time with short term memory.  

"Wow, man!  Did I eat that whole 50 lb. bag of Oreos?"

I recently received an email that contained a batch of supposed rare vintage photos.  They didn't have any tag lines, nor copyrights included.  So, somebody either found that they were declared as "Creative Commons" due to their age and needed no author/copyright lines, or they simply stole them.

I feel it is my duty to exhibit these photos so the owners can make claim.  I, out of the goodness of my heart, will then add the proper attribution and post it so they may get their just rewards.

And, "NO", Bubba, you've only been around for a few years, so don't say you were there taking these photos with your new digital camera.  

In addition, I'm going to provide my take on the historic photo and the story surrounding it.  
I have gone into absolutely no research in doing so.  This will soon be evident.

If not, please let me introduce you to a great investment counselor, Bernie Madoff!

The famous Anastasia sharing a smoke with her father
Tsar Nicholas II two years before their assassination in 1916.
The above photo is evidence that the Russian Cancer Society was almost as vicious as our American Cancer Society.  After this photo was released to the press in 1916, the RCS decided that it was promotional material for tobacco manufacturers, and not fit to be seen.  So, instead of being assholes and raising a big stink over it, they took their time concocting a plan to get back at the Tsar.  So comes the saying,
"Smoking can be hazardous to your health!"
Amelia Earhart gets her last haircut in 1937.
Amelia wanted to look really good for all the photo sessions that preceded her attempt to fly around the world.  When the results were in, Amelia was heartbroken.  So much so, that when the opportunity presented itself, Amelia crashed her plane and waited upon a South Sea island for her hair to grow out.  Unfortunately, she was found prematurely by a hysterically laughing Japanese Army, and died of embarrassment.  
Children for sale in Chicago in 1948 as poverty stricken families
would rather sell their kids than see them starve.
In 1948, World War II had ended and so had many of the wartime jobs.  Without work, children born during the war (when the fathers were off fighting, hmmmm) found themselves being sold.  Kids had to eat, and parents quickly found out that the expression, "They'll eat you out of house and home" held true.  Parents, instead of seeing their kids starve, sold their kids to the highest bidder.  Hollywood quickly came to the rescue by creating jobs for all the kids in the short features, better known as "The Little Rascals."  This also worked well for want-a-be parents who couldn't stand the thought of changing dirty diapers filled with Gerber Strained Spinach sh*t!
Soldiers comfort each other in the 1950's during the Korean War.
After this photo hit the news stands, it was quickly banned.  Homosexual activity was a no-no during the 1950's, and the U.S. Army was embarrassed beyond belief.  Whenever generals were questioned about it, they'd respond, "Don't ask us and we won't tell you!"  This was picked up by future administrations and shortened to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" philosophy.
Ham the chimp returns from a 16 minute space flight in 1961.
Promised to him as a "brilliant" career move, Ham the chimp volunteered to be the first monkey to travel into space.  Although a dangerous venture, Ham envisioned years of fortune and fame to follow upon his return to Earth.  When his sixteen minute flight ended, Ham found that attention quickly turned to human astronauts, and his efforts were forgotten.  Thusly, the phrase, "15 minutes of fame" was born after some idiot rounded his time to the nearest five minute mark.
The Golden Gate Bridge around 1935
In 1935, marijuana usage ran rampant in the United States.  Although many considered it odd (since Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin wouldn't become popular until the late 1960's) the U.S. Army once again found itself in the middle of controversy.  In charge of building the Golden Gate Bridge, Army Engineers, under the influence of the terrible drug, forgot to build the roadway on which traffic could travel.  When the bridge, promoted as a real treat to those living on the other side of the bay, opened, 752 cars and trucks drove into San Francisco Bay.  Desperate to make San Francisco known for something besides this debacle, Rice-A-Roni was quickly marketed as the new 
"San Francisco Treat!"
Governor George Wallace hosts future presidents George Bush and Bill Clinton
at a barbeque in 1983.
Last, but not least, George Wallace hosted future presidents at a good old Southern Barbeque in 1983, in which variations of Columbian Gold, Panama Red, and Mexican Ragweed marijuana was the prime attraction.  In this photo, Republican George Bush is congratulating Democrat Gov. Wallace on the quality of smoke he presented, while Democrat Bill Clinton, sporting and open mouth and sh*t eating grin, could do nothing more than stare in amazement at the size of Barbara Bush's boobs.  
(Notice Bill has a Diet Pepsi in his hand, obviously empty as the can is partially crushed.  Bush also has a Mountain Dew placed in front of him.  Not quite hidden is the cup of beer, fresh from the tap, that had been pushed away in order to take an alcohol free picture.  Still it made the photograph.  It's my guess the photographer had been sampling the available weed, too!!)

It has been said that a picture speaks a thousand words.  These pictures have spoken to me.  I, in turn, have spoken to you.  I'm not saying my descriptions were accurate, but that is what they said to me.  

You don't think they were pulling my leg, do you?


  1. Rich, it's so good to see you blogging again....I missed you! Enjoyed the post and the pics - interesting to see old photos like that! Have a fab day. :)

    1. Melanie - It's good to see you again! Today has been a very light day in the view area. People are either ticked off about my Serious Sunday post, or they've failed to get the jokes in the picture descriptions. (Where's Woody Allen when you need him?) Scribbles and Smiles is no more, I see. I've got to get the address to your new blogs. Miss hearing about y'all. Really good to see you smiling! Keep the energy flowing! Many Thanks!

  2. OMG once again, I find myself having to scroll back up and down because I'm worried I will forget something I wanted to say in your lovely rambling road. Plus, yeah. The earlier pot. And it still affects my food decisions, years later. What's up with that? A munchie flashback? Worse?? Ugh.
    Crap. I've obviously either forgotten my history or was just dumb for the long haul because I don't know who Anastasia is. You rock for sharing these photos, though. Ok back to top.
    HAHAHA to the reason Amelia crashed (and seriously these are cool pics).
    OMG to the gay reference. You are so wise and sometimes I think we share a brain.
    I laughed so loud I think I burst a blood vessel in my eye about the SF bridge.

    And no. They weren't pulling your leg at all. In fact, you just rewrote history for me. For the better.

    1. Kristi - Really good of you to stop in tonight! You can see it's been a busy one! lol I think most saw the photos and said, "Gee, I wish Rich would go back to jokes!" lol Glad you're not in that category! I once had the munchies so bad I ate the equivalent of a Big Mac, a Tenderloin sandwich, a roast beef sandwich, two orders of fries, an order of onion rings, a large coke, and a large chocolate shake in one sitting. And, that's when I was running 5 miles twice a day and in shape. I hurt so bad my head was pounding. So, I had to partake of nature's natural remedy once again! lol Now, I'm not sure about sharing a brain, but that might be because this is your week to have it. Maybe I'll be able to figure it out next week when it's my turn again! Many Thanks!

  3. yeah, but who's the dude in the background making some serious time with Eunice Shriver?

    excellent insight and captions (Amelia: "no, I meant around the globe.")

    good stuff... Rich

    1. Clark - Good to see you, my friend! Your guess is as good as mine ... and probably better in this case. He looks like an out of shape Secret Service man telling her he'd had a crush on her for years. Yep, he'd been smoking, too! lol Thought I'd give this a try ... obviously it didn't work out. Oh well, live and learn. :) Many Thanks!

  4. You took those pictures, didn' you, Rich? ;D

    1. Terrye - Ah, my dear friend, I have to say that some of these even precede my time. Unless, of course you wish to go back to my previous life as a mob gun runner who drank a Coke, threw a bottle away in a corner of a basement, only to have Geraldo Rivera dedicate a full television broadcast to it years later. lol Thanks for stopping in!

  5. Hey Rich, i'm enjoying your take on things as usual. Miss seeing you at the pet store. Hope you can stop by for a visit soon. I've been reading your blogs since Trayvon now, and have to say I'd vote for you in any office you'd want to occupy. Take care, and keep up the good work. Call Kevin and me so we can have a working phone number for you.

    1. Chris - Really is good to see you here! I've been so busy as of late, but alas, excuses can always be made. You and Kevin are too good of friends to not stop by. Hopefully, I can stop in one night next week and catch up on times when snakes were my room mates and times were much simpler. (Damn, was that ever the case??? lol) See you all very soon!

  6. Well played, Mr Rumple. This caused me to LQTM quite a bit... Thank you so much for sharing your post with the Humor Me Blog Hop! Please come back next week, ya hear?

    1. Sarah - Good to have you drop by. This was more of a rewriting of history lesson, meant to do exactly as you experienced. After some of my recent posts, I decided to calm it down a little for a while (it lasted exactly one post before I was at it again, lol) Glad you enjoyed it! Many Thanks!