Friday, February 22, 2013

FTSF: Superman, Super Sperm & Advice

Faster than a
 speeding bullet,

more powerful than a locomotive,

able to reap Google views in a single post,

look, up in the blogs,
it's a word, it's insane, 


Finish The Sentence Friday!

Did you ever wonder about Superman?  

Here's a being from a different planet, that had no known fetishes (such as the anal probes of today's aliens).  He didn't drink, do drugs, smoke cigarettes, make love, or do any of the things that make humans human.  Yet, here was a person respected by all except his criminal enemies.

I'd say, "He should have been a priest", but he didn't mess around with little boys, either!

This is a man, pursued by just about every woman on the planet, yet he never messed around with one of them.  

Or, did he?

With his ability of super speed, could Superman have been the mysterious midnight marauder?  The one that caused women to wonder why they awoke in the middle of the night feeling as though the sensual dream they'd just experienced was so real?  

He had the ability to fly, so there' would be no body weight to awaken a sleeping victim.  

And, with his ability to time travel, could he have produced the concept of immaculate conception?

Perhaps, the Superman of comic fame had the last laugh on society.  Sitting high on a cloud, smoking a cigarette, and using his x-ray vision to check out the prospects of the land, he could select his next "Hello/Goodbye", one tenth of a second relationship!  

Superman, the sinister sadist supposing sinning soothed society's searing souls, 
single-handedly superimposing sexual sensations seemingly 
seamlessly and senselessly!

Perhaps, his own joke on the world was the big "S" on his chest, as he internally laughed knowing it stood for "Super Sperm!"  Little white, swimming creatures with a "S" on their chests, pounding through the barriers of a woman's natural defenses against unwanted pregnancies, with more power than a locomotive!  Able to breech all human body protections in a single stroke of their little tail!  Until the egg was reached, they'd form a giant "S" and push forward with powers not known to mortal man!  Then, when their goal was in sight, they'd lie in wait for the most fertile of monthly times before completing their purpose!

Naw, probably never happened.  

Or, did it?

Anyway, this is Finish The Sentence Friday!   

One again, dearly beloved, we have gathered to worship the ground upon which each other does trod.  We are here to finish the sentence provided by our Gods of Sentence Finishing listed with the rules  below:

This week, the task masters (or, task mistresses ... boy, does that sound wrong) have decided that This Week's Prompt will be:

”Speaking from experience, I’m going to give you a little advice on…”

(Makes you wish for a drum roll, doesn't it)

... Giving Advice!

Giving advice can be looked at as either a positive act, or a negative act.  When one gives it, they are feeling as though they are doing a very positive thing.  When one receives it, it is generally taken as a negative thing.  

Positive Outlook  (Giving):
  1. I'm only trying to help.
  2. I've been there, you haven't.  Believe me!
  3. I'm your parent.  When you have kids, then you can tell them.
  4. What's it going to take to get you to understand we love you?
  5. I don't want you to have to experience what I had to, or, I'd prefer you learn through my mistakes instead of your own.
  6. It's the best thing for you.
  7. Time is not on your side.
  8. Confucius say, ".......
  9. If we were perfect, we'd always know just what to do.

Negative Outlook  (Receiving):
  1. Mind your own business!
  2. You're always meddling in my affairs.
  3. Let me live my own life.
  4. Times have changed and you don't know how it is now.
  5. Why won't you quit badgering me?
  6. I need to make my own mistakes and live my own successes.
  7. I know what's best for me, you don't
  8. I can always try other things later if I choose.
  9. Get off my case.
  10. If you knew as much as you thought you did, why are you still so screwed up?
  11. You're not perfect, either!  Shut up!

Here's some rules I've followed in my life:
  • Kids, generally, don't need advice.  They need direction.  If they knew the right thing to do, they wouldn't need you as a parent.  Letting them "choose their own direction" is an excuse for "I'd have to take time to help them and I don't want to miss Honey Boo Boo."  They may ask you for suggestions, but, in essence, they're asking you for direction.  "What college should I attend" is not a request for advice.  They are asking you for a viable way to figure out where they should go.  Show them how to gauge the quality of education in their desired course of study, view graduation rates, consider costs, and check out Playboy's annual rankings for "Party" schools.  Again, show them the way and the advice will not be needed.  (Just remember to provide aspirins, fake I.D.'s, and bail money.)
  • Parents and In-Laws provide advice to young marrieds without consideration, treating those that receive it as still being 10 years old.  If you're asked for advice, give it as if those receiving it are your age, instead of younger.  You'll find it much more appreciated if you do.  (Remember, they're going to get your stuff when you die.  Make them want to keep it instead of planning on how to sell it on Pawn Stars!)
  • When friends ask friends for advice, they're really just asking the friend for support in what they've already decided.  Unless they're really off base, support them.  You might even give them a book on what they've chosen.  If they're really off base, show support, but bring out the negatives that may occur.  Always reinforce that you'll be there for them whatever they decide.  (Then, go home and tell your spouse how stupid your friends are over a glass of wine.)
  • Never give your employers advice.  (If they take it and it screws things up for them, you'll be looking for employment very quickly elsewhere!)
  • Before you give advice, make sure you're living it.  Don't be a hypocrite!  (We have enough elected politicians for that!)
Of course, you could write a blog about giving advice to really screw things up.  Then, everyone will think you're a self proclaimed "Know It All" that is so damn egotistical that you believe everyone else is wrong, and you're the only one that's right!  They'll then stop visiting your blogs, sharing your posts, and talk badly about you in IM's.  

Before you do, 

let me give you some good advice .....


  1. ...all I needed, was to read your tags!! to wit: Advice, Sperm, Superman

    I give up... lol
    I like to think that I am challenging myself by participating in these blog hops, but serially! With material like this..aiiyee*

    Anyway, it's only 3:12 am. Plenty of time to get something together, before the real world wakes up.
    Thanks for the inspiration, Rich, thanks *a lot*

    *yeah, I know it's not competitive... tell that to anyone with a Y Chromosome see how well they will cover the

    1. Clark - My early morning friend (or, late night as I've yet to slumber), so good of you to stop in. To me, it really isn't a competition. I just let the juices go and where they end up is where they end up. I seriously never plan on what I'm going to write ... it just happens. I sit down, work on how to start it out, and just let the rambling take place. To plan pieces, such as the one above, would drive a sane person mad. lol Glad you enjoyed it! Many thanks!

  2. You actually gave great advice! I love the "direction" part. You are wise, Grasshopper. As for Superman, wasn't there that scene in Superman IV with Lois and the Niagara Falls...Clark Kent was with her, but she knew he was Superman? Maybe I made that up. I just remember a steamy scene in there somewhere. HAHAHA. And those sensual dreams? So THAT explains it. HAHAHAHA. You're hilarious.

    1. Cyndi - You almost sound surprised about the advice I gave! lol As far as Superman and Lois was concerned, that was Hollywood. We all know that a gratuitous T&A or sexual reference has to take place in the movies. lol In the comics (the real basis for Superman)Superman was still trying to figure out how to get out of that damn leotard suit he wore! :) OMG! He got you, too!!!! I knew I was on to something with this one! lol Glad you enjoyed! Many thanks!

  3. You know Richard, I think you just gave the best advice so far and seriously Superman part had me cracking up. And now it all makes sense, lol!! Thanks seriously for thinking up with us as always :)

    1. Janine - Really good to see you today! Giving advice is always dangerous, as it can come back to bite you if it doesn't work. (I've learned that many times over the years. Now, I try to keep my mouth shut most of the time, lol) Oh no! Not you too! Superman's been a very busy fellow ... obviously! So much for it all being simply a hypothesis! Glad you enjoyed this piece! Many Thanks!

  4. Hi Rich, you did it again! Had me riveted to the page! You sir, are a great creative writer, and also a great "just plain" writer! You always make me ask myself how I can improve my standards, and whether I will ever make it to that level. Which is good, because when working alone we tend to get complacent about it all. So thanks for the laughs, the smiles, and the models, and I also like the advice (I'm a good judge for that, been teaching for over 50 years!) So have a good weekend and I hope to see you soon! (should say read you!)

    1. Joan - Really good of you to stop back by! You had me scared with the "...did it again" statement. Sounded like my wife talking to me! lol Your words are only too kind. I really don't consider myself a good writer. I'me much to learn and feel like I'm still deep in the shadows. I just let my fingers do whatever my mind comes up with at the time. lol You, on the other hand, being able to write in both Spanish and English, are a dream come true. I'm amazed by this ability and stand back in awe. Am happy you liked this! Many Thanks!

  5. Wait! What about Lois?!

    I LOVE your advice about kids needing "direction" it is so true! We don't need to shove stuff down their throats...we just need funnels! Lol.

    Great post!

    1. Kelly - Always glad when you stop in! Lois was indeed a frustrated woman. Always wanting and never receiving. The Daily Planet had rules concerning the joint activities of employees, and Clark Kent knew he couldn't get a better paying job elsewhere. So, Lois and the Energizer Bunny grew very, very close in her fantasy indulgences. lol I always tried to instill a pattern of thought in my girls. Answers are easy, but getting to them is the problem. Showing them the steps so that they could figure things out on their own was a benefit to them not only in their youth, but now in adulthood. At least that's what they tell me. lol Glad you enjoyed this! Many Thanks!

  6. Ha! this was great. I love advice when I ask for it, I HATE it when I don't. But I guess that's the way of things isn't it.

    1. Julie - Great to see you here! I thought Super Sperm would work well with this crowd. lol Sometimes, I scare myself with this stuff. :) People always love to say, "I'm open for criticism", but when it comes their way, most of the time it's tough getting over the emotions it brings. Advice always means that we're not as perfect as we'd like to think we are, or that someone else considers themselves to be superior in a way. It's human nature to question that. Glad this tickled you! Many Thanks!

  7. haha...never thought of Superman as a Super Sperm...Richard, you have contaminated my

    Now, whenever my kid wants to act like him...I have to force myself to think straight. Loved the various advises you have given up there...You have said it all. Dunno what I will write for the FTSF now...wah!!

    TGIF :)

    1. Ruchira - Really good to see you! Stick around me long enough and you'll find it's one of my good traits ... wait until you see my bad! lol Let's just hope you don't tell your son about this and he goes out experimenting! :) As far as what to write about, do as I do. Simply sit down, think of something weird to start with, and let your fingers do the rest. Too much planning spoils the brew. Just wing it! Sometimes it works, and sometimes ... well, sometimes I should have planned. lol Good to see you smiling! Many Thanks!

    2. I followed your advise, Rich. And I am glad the blog came out delish :)

      Have a good weekend!

    3. Ruchira - You need to do it that way more often. It really displayed your fabulous personality! Great job!

  8. Hey, I didn't ask for your advice!! Mind your own business!!! Here, I clicked on this link thinking I'd find out about Superman's sperm. It was merely a bait and switch!...Seriously, I think your advice about direction instead of advice is great. And, no, we are not perfect, just because we wear the parent hat!

    1. Rachel - So good to see you here again this week! Too many times, getting advice seems like you're not fit to exist. That's when the person giving advice is doing it wrong. They sometimes forget that you can't give advice unless you're respected by the receiver. Respect has to be earned daily, as it's not something one gains simply because of a title. It also provides a desire to learn and listen within the receiver, instead of words simply being jammed down their throat. We teach our young to think independently, but then we treat them as if they didn't know anything. That type of action only destroys what we aim for. Raising a child is like a funnel. It's wide where the basics are, but through our constant direction, narrows as it's fine tuned along the way. The patterns of that direction are what is formed as the final result. You can see the results of those that just "tell" in the youth of today. Many never had the benefit of properly being directed, as entertainment and lack of quality time have prevailed. We get what we've created. Some don't like that thought because it puts the blame back on personal accountability, and they just don't measure up. So, they blame shift and create the concept of Political Correctness to compensate for their failures. It's a concept that never would have been needed if they'd simply done their job right to begin with. Thanks so much for visiting! Greatly appreciated!

  9. You know what? That was actually pretty wise. Not bad advice at all! Nice job. I admit, I did not see your sage observations about advice-giving coming after the little Supersperm... HA!

    1. Stephanie - Really nice of you to stop in! Yes, I realize most consider me a weird old guy (lol), but I usually try to get some sort of message out in what I write. Sometimes, I just hide it a little too deeply! lol A person commenting once told me, "You're like the extreme version of Paul Harvey's "The rest of the story". "You pull us in with sarcasm and comedy, but there's always something we can take away." I can't envision Paul Harvey ever discussing Super Sperm, but who knows? lol Happy you liked this piece! Many Thanks!

  10. You gave direction and guffaws in one fell swoop. Well played. :)

    1. - I think I'm going to start calling you Cas (C____AS______.___) so I don't feel as though I'm talking to a website! lol Really good to see you again! It's the old marketing tactic. Bring them in with humor to get them to buy your product! lol Actually, I never plan these things. I just sit down and start typing. Whatever happens is whatever happens. It's good when it works out. Believe me, there's been plenty of times that it hasn't! :) Good to see you, again! Thanks greatly for stopping by and commenting!

  11. The Superman (super sperm) section had me laughing out loud. And I love your advice, especially about not giving it to employers. I'm always shocked when people think these large corporations want to hear that they need better coffee to keep people happy or something.
    You're awesome! :)
    And you are so right. Our kids need direction. Not advice they'll never listen to anyway.

    1. Kristi - Really glad you were able to drop by. I was actually just figuring out how to start this thing and the opening lines led to the rest of it. I swear I don't know how I got there, but it seems to have worked a little. lol In the advice section, I couldn't agree with you more. People think they have a much larger voice than they really do. That's part of the ego filled, political correct society we live in. Everyone is an expert. If you don't believe it, just as them and they'll happily tell you. :) I think the biggest point I wanted to make with the kids is that they're so much more important than anything else. We have to give them quality time to help them understand the paths that are necessary in the decision making process. Just to advise them takes little time and only sates our own egos. Helping them understand so they can learn to do it in the future takes time, but has much better results. At least then, when they proclaim, "I know it all", they can say it with a little more understanding of what it means! lol Thanks so much for stopping in and commenting! Greatly appreciated!

  12. Yes! You couldn't have said it better. That's all I want sometimes when I talk to friends. I don't want actual advice, I just want a listening ear. I never thought about it that way - that we'd already made a decision, but we do. We just want some extra reinforcement. Great list, and agree with your last one as well. Live it, then give the advice. Great job!

    1. Melanie - Really glad to see you here! Isn't it amazing how we tend to shy away from those that can't keep out of our lives, but yet, feel closer to those that don't tell us how to live them? A friend is there to support you, no matter what you do. That's what makes them a true friend. If you wanted to be criticized, you could ask your parents for advice! I agree, there's nothing worse than a hypocrite. Their words just tend to make you yawn and beg for the God of silence to be present. Really appreciate you stopping by! Many Thanks!