Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Wait Is Over!


My gosh, has two weeks passed since I last wrote a blog?

(Well, Rich, if you'd look at the date, you'd see how long it’s been, you dummy!)

So, today's question is ... "Does getting older automatically mean you start talking to yourself, and even answering at times?"

No, that's not today's question.  It's just a way to keep from talking about all the medical problems that have hopefully been taken care of.  Hubpages.com has the medical stuff, so if you're interested (see link below), that's the place to visit after you read what is going to be discussed here ... whatever that may be.
One of the greatest inventions ever developed by the Sadists Of America Club Is The Hospital Gown!  
It has provided doctors and nurses laughs for decades!





















* I do want to thank all of you for being patient and understanding why I haven’t been visiting a lot of blogs as of late.  When dealing with double and triple vision, reading is close to impossible.  Even now, I have to take it easy for a while.  I overdid it the other day and started getting blurry eyed again.  Give me time and I’ll be back to making my stupid comments again!

Since this isn't a "Mommy" blog, I have to come up with something that will keep everyone interested.   Please, don't take me wrong!  There is nothing wrong with "Mommy" blogs!  In fact, I get a kick out of them.  It's sometimes extremely funny to see others struggling through some of the things they did to their parents years ago.  


These are my oldest daughter's angels (lol).  I have a
feeling the young man may make his grandfather
proud and be a pain in the neck to his teachers
just like his grandfather was!
The truth is that I am of the wrong gender to write a "Mommy" hub.  I guess I could write a "Grandfather" blog, but that almost sounds like something advertised on a porn site (or so I’ve been told).  Besides, Grandfathers are only known for farting, complaining, and falling asleep after eating.  Writing anything else would seem like only embellishments.  (Excuse me, I forgot belching, "Errrrrrp.")

My oldest daughter should probably start writing a "Mommy" hub.  She constantly moans and groans about the various things the kids are doing, and has started filling in as a substitute teacher in the elementary school grades.  So far, she's discussed three of them getting sick and visually reviewing their cafeteria offerings during the afternoon session, one that didn't want to raise her hand in time to make it to the bathroom for normal bowel movement, and one that brought his father's pocket knife to class.  (I guess he wanted to clear the way to the bathroom if he needed to get there quickly.)


Gabriela has just settled down for a long winter's nap,
or at least one until breakfast is served.  
Another topic I could talk about would be my cats.  Gabriela (better known as the “Demon Cat”) has made a 180 degree turnaround.  No longer is she a vicious creature of Satan. She's become a feline garbage disposal.  Gabriela’s getting fatter by the day, as she’ll eat her bowl full of food, and then squeeze Faletame away from his bowl and finish what he's not yet eaten! 

And, she’s requiring more and more love and attention.  She’s recently discovered she can jump to the top of my computer chair and lie against the back of my neck.  It does provide a nice, soft head rest for me, and it’s fairly comfortable.  

Like most men, Faletame (Fa-let-a-me) has changed somewhat since a woman came into his life.  He is still a growler when strangers approach the house, but he's not quite so brave when dealing with his mate.  Actually, he's puzzled how Gabriela has sharper claws and teeth than he, and even though he won't say it, I suspect a little jealous!
Foul Mouthed Faletame is a little upset
over being woke up for a photo session,
but he never will shy from the camera.
Still, I'm sure he'll be vocal about the
interruption when I get done publishing.

Oh, he’ll chase her until she turns, faces him, and hisses!  It's then when he goes into his Woody Allen routine.  “I don’t understand why you’re upset.  My mother used to get upset like that and my father would question her about it.  Never did any good though.  He'd say, "That’s what happens when you’re Jewish and you marry outside the church!"  He always told me never to marry in an alley!  Oh, there's plenty of room for your friends and you don't have to worry about cleaning up the mess, but there's a lot of garbage that comes with it!  There's enough garbage in a marriage that you don't need to bring more into it!“

In addition, Faletame feels somewhat slighted by all of the attention Gabriela demands, and is constantly searching for ways to receive more of it for himself.  His latest trick is to climb up on the table, put his front paws on the chair closest the counter, and reach out to paw you in the back as you’re trying to prepare a meal.  If you don’t turn and give him a pet or two immediately, he starts screaming some of the phrases he’s learned from my wife.  (Modesty forbids repeating them here, but if you've ever heard Al Pacino in the movie Scarface ... )

Anyway, that’s enough for now.  Much more, and you’ll never come back again for fear of being bored to death.  I’ll be back to normal soon (if there is such a thing for me), and exciting topics like German Chocolate cake and earthquakes will make their return.  


Or, maybe I’ll go back and have another operation so I can qualify to write a “Mommy” blog!


“What’s that, Faletame?  You’ve been there and don’t recommend it!  Nuff said!”


PS:  Here's the link to the Hubpages.com article discussed above
http://rcrumple.hubpages.com/hub/Hospital-Treatment-or-Torture



©Copyright RCRUMPLE2012. All Rights Reserved

20 comments:

  1. Glad the terrorists decided they couldn't get the top secret information out of you (how to make a german chocolate cake) and let you go. Welcome back to the insanity. :)

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  2. Terrye - Really good to see you. It's been a trip, but the eyes are better on a limited basis. Another couple of weeks and they should be back. The insanity hasn't changed, for sure, but it's good to be back at it, even if it is something as basic as this post. Thanks for the smile this morning. It feels good to be able to see it! : )

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  3. You know how happy I am to have you back here with us. Richard, you truly, are a wonderful guy and totally enjoy reading your writing. By the way, your grandkids are beautiful!! All-in-all, I would love to see you write a mommy blog, because you would probably put all of us mom's to shame, lol!!

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    1. Janine - Really good to see you! I still have to watch my time online and keep it very short. I really overdid it the other day and paid for it. But it really is good to be back! The grandkids are full of spice and vinegar, but it's good to see the family tree proceeding as it should. lol No, I'm leaving the "Mommy" blogs to the experts, and I'll continue to look for the ridiculous in life. Tis my fate, I'm afraid. : ) Many Thanks!

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  4. good to hear that you are free (comparatively speaking) from the medical machine... there can be little worse than being 'a patient'.
    In my thankfully few experiences being incarcerated in a hospital, I came to think that, the minute they take your pants and your wallet out of the room ('for safe keeping') , you become a 'patient unit' (visual: Patrick McGoohan standing in front of Number 2 in gown open to the back, 'I am not a number!!! I am a free man!).

    In any event, sounds like your timeline is getting back more to where it should be.

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    1. Clark - Good morning, sir! My wife is good at keeping my wallet safe, thank goodness, as the hospital is definitely not the place to keep it. The giant "Prisoner" bubbles could have taken me at anytime, as my eyes were covered with bandages for what seemed to be decades. (I didn't think anyone remembered Patrick's second big series in the U.S., lol) I wish blindness on no one, and have gained the greatest admiration for those who must deal with it daily. Thanks for stopping in!

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  5. I have never had a good hosipital experience... truth is... they scare the living daylights out of me! Glad to see you back in action... even if you need to take it slow. You have been missed!

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    1. Stacy - Really good to see you again! I've never been a fan of hospitals either. They hold some really bad memories for me as my mother was a constant visitor of them when I was young. Still, I couldn't get the doctor to operate at my house, so I didn't have much choice in the matter. lol I appreciate the kind words. Many thanks!

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  6. So glad to see you're back in action Rich...and boy, you have a knack for writing about those cats...I'm thinking cat humor book??

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    1. Emily - It's good to be back! I'd thought about doing a kid's book on that entitled, "The Pretty Kitty." Then, I heard on the CBS news the other day there's an oriental waxing salon called the same thing. Blew my idea right out of the water! : ) Perhaps, one more along the lines of "Ted" would be better. Many Thanks!

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  7. Good to see your blog, Richard.

    Wishing you the best for your next operation and speedy recovery. Yes, your daughter should write a mommy's blog...the more the merrier :)

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    1. Ruchira - It's good to see you again, too! Hopefully, the operations are over. It's just a matter of really limiting my computer time right now and letting them rest as much as possible. It's strange to hear my wife telling me to get some rest, instead of "get your tail up and get busy!" lol I'm trying to get her to write one "Hillbilly" style. She's living in an out of the way area, somewhat, and should be able to relate easily. I think it'd be a blast. Many Thanks!

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  8. Glad you're back! And I love your kitty stories :)

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    1. Julie - It's really good to be back, at least in part right now. I've really got to limit my time in front of the computer screen as it doesn't take much to wear out my eyes right now. Yet, they're getting better day by day. It's really funny how people do like the stories I write about the cats. They both consider themselves stars. In fact, Gabriela is still trying to get her stomach as big as her head. I think she's succeeding. Many Thanks!

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  9. Rich it's so good to have you back! :) Love reading about your two little monster/angels...so cute! Thank goodness our cats don't do that when we're cooking. Stealing chairs when there aren't bums occupying them - yes. Meowing at 4.30am in the morning for attention - yes. But never that, lol. They are precious though. Can't wait to read more posts!

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    1. Melanie - I'm glad to be back, believe me! I missed all of you guys. My wife came home the other night and Gabriela was in her seat. My wife goes, "Are you going to move?" Gabriela looked up and said, "I was waiting on you to so I didn't have to share the couch with you anymore! Need some help packing?" Thank goodness my wife knew she was joking and laughed about it. Of course, later Gabriela came over and asked, "Do we really need her?" You just never know. lol Many thanks!

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  10. Welcome back! I am impressed by your dedication!

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    1. Stephanie - Dedication or stupidity (as my wife says)? lol Every time I get on the computer she gets on me about it, reminding me (see, I didn't say nagging) about what the doctor said about computer screens and such. I just tell her I'd rather do what I loved doing than to sit and allow negativity to set in. I just have to watch the time I spend online and take it in short spurts instead of marathon stretches. : ) Many Thanks!

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  11. Your cat is TOOO CUTE! No problem for the photo shoot! I had to come over esp. after you said that animal shoots are hard...ya know, I agree! And I also agree that some cats (I have one) LOVES to pose...he's always "posing" which is why I have so many pictures of him, lolol. SO GLAD you are feeling better, too!

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    1. Cydni - Thank You! His eyes were still three quarters shut as I had just awakened him from a deep sleep. Yet, he still sat right up in his photo pose. I've put other shots of him in some of my hubs and he's always the same. He'd be perfect for the side of some throne ... hmmm, I wonder what my wife's been teaching him? Many thanks!

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