2012 ... Bah, Humbug!

2012 is over!   

Thank God!

What a bummer year!

I really hate to say that because I've met so many good people this year as I've started writing, first on Hubpages.com and then in my own blog.  I'm not even going to try to mention all of them, for the list is way too vast (much more so than my memory).   Just let me say that all have grown to mean a lot to me.

So, besides that, is there a high spot to the year?  I doubt it, but I'll let you decide.  Here we go with my recollections of the year 2012!

January
I've been operating a full speed in a District Manager job that normally burns out people in six months, and I'm in month eleven.  I'm getting up at six a.m., writing all my managers positive motivation emails and combining daily reports, and getting to their store locations by ten a.m., after leaving the hotels that have become my home over a three state area.  I get to see my wife late Saturday night, Sunday (if she's not working), and Sunday night.  Monday, it's back on the road.

But the money is great!  I've bought so much stuff that I've not had a chance to open that it will be Christmas for months (if I ever get a chance to be at home).

However, I'm feeling lousy.  I'm experiencing blurred vision, lack of energy, and spaciness at times.  I've gone to the doctor and she wants to send me to five different specialists to find out what's up.

My regional director is the definition of a narcissistic asshole.  He doesn't try to instruct, only hound and use intimidation.  I don't think he even knows what to do.  We had a record sales year in the district I created, yet, he picks at everything.  When I told him I was undergoing medical treatment, he appears on January 31st with a separation agreement.  

Tired of his constant "holier than thou" attitude, I took it, and the money it offered.  

Now I can enjoy all the stuff I've bought!!!

February
What a month!  Specialist after specialist, and no results.  Even had a doctor give me a sales pitch for a "sleep" machine before diagnosing me!  What a sham!  Finally determined my weight gain from eating out in hotels and such had created a Diabetes Type 2 condition.  

Good things did happen this month!  I got to share my college history with my wife by getting tickets to two Indiana University basketball games!  It was over a three hour drive to get to each game, but was worth it!  Now, she's a true Indiana fan, too!  (So much so that she spent $300 in the fan store on team t-shirts, hoodies, and coffee cups!   Should have left her at home!)

Also, started having someone hit our front door every morning about 3 a.m.   Just a quick "bang" and they were gone.  Home invasions going up in the area.  So, I bought a pistol.  By the end of the month, had another and an assault rifle.  Target practicing at least three times a week.  

After the bang one night, I ran outside with my assault rifle and searched around the house.  Didn't find anyone as they must have been hiding around my neighbors home.  Funny, after that, no more bangs at the front door.  (It must have been my serious look on my face that scared them.)

March
Probably should be looking for a job, but I have never had a chance to watch the entire March Madness Basketball Tournament, and I'm a basketball junkie.  Still have plenty of money in the bank for several more months, so, what the hell, let's take off the month, work to get myself healthy, and enjoy the games!   (Well, it made sense to me!)

April
Time to get busy and find a job!  Had an interview with an Operations Director for a slot right under them as the Assistant Director.  Money seems good, as does her response to the interview.  Simply have to have patience as she works to get appointment approved with her home office.  (It's so damn boring not working that I paint the kitchen!  Found out quickly that paint balloons thrown at walls don't spread the paint as evenly as the wife wants!)

May
Still waiting on job to come through.  Director says things are slow in processing and not to get discouraged. Even if they don't approve it for some reason, she has a Sales Manager slot that she will hire me for, at about the same money.  (I almost feel guilty watching my neighbor mow my lawn ... almost.  Damn, I really am getting lazy!)

June
Operations Director has quit the company.  Turns out, company is being purchased and is hiring no one.  So, time to start sending out resumes.  Have never had trouble being hired before with my accomplishments, so not real worried about it.  Still have plenty of funds in the bank, but decided I might as well supplement them with unemployment benefits.  I'd never needed it before, but why not take it if it's available?  Doesn't everyone?

To make matters worse, I turned 58 years old!  Hell, I thought I'd die by the time I was 40 with my adrenaline rush habits.  (What am I still doing around?)

Found an ad concerning making money by writing!  Wow, am I excited!  Haven't written in many years, but had no problem when I did it in the past.  Even had an article published in a Science Fiction magazine in the late 70's.  So, it's time to make some money!   Signed up for Hubpages.com and wrote my first article on if a person really knew what they were getting into when they decided to keep a snake as a pet.  (Yeah, I know ... lame, lame, lame!)

July

Still sending out applications and resumes.  What the hell?  Do these people not recognize quality when they see it?   (That was before I recognized today's recruiters rely on computers to choose the resumes they peruse.  Gives them time to watch HBOGo on their I-Phones!)

Writing is going well.  Meeting more people and getting plenty of views.  Found that creative writing was my true niche, as if I ever doubted it.  I just can't be one of these people to take an encyclopedia and write an article on it, like they'd come up with the topic first!  That was what we did in college, years ago!  (Where's the money Hubpages promised?  They wouldn't fabricate, would they?   Not Hubpages!)

August
More and more views coming in on Hubpages.  Community is accepting me more and more as I'm starting to get noticed.  Joined Hub Hoppers on Facebook and views soared!

Dealt with a recruiter at ADT.  He never called when he said he was going to, and then sent me an email stating that if he couldn't make contact with me, he'd have to withdraw my application.  I sent him a steaming email concerning his ability to perform his job duties ... with examples.  Received an email from him apologizing, and setting up a new time that he would call.  He never did.  (Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!  And this guy's got a job!  Corporations really are stupid at times!)  

September
Okay, this is really getting ridiculous.  I know it's illegal to ask age on applications, but these people are getting around it by requiring "Year Graduated" from high school, college, etc.!   It's the same damn thing!!!   (I wonder how much money I could make in a lawsuit against about 15 of these companies practicing this?   Maybe I could watch the next March Madness without worry again next year!)

October
Write, write, write ... that and reading hubs and answering comments seems to be all that's happening!  Still, no cash from Hubpages!   (No Virginia, Santa Claus isn't spelled Hubpages.com!)

Seems like insurance companies are the only ones interested in all of my sales and management talents.  All of them are now charging over $600 to get state licensed.  So, I pay them $600 to go to work for them, and work on a commission only contract.  (Let's see, no, I wasn't born yesterday.)

My wife (in one of her happier moments)
with two of five walls of cd's in my
tiny collection.

To make matters worse, one of my external hard drives has crashed, taking with it over 50,000 songs of my collection.  I still have Cd's to reload, but need a new hard drive and the cash just isn't there.  Plus, it takes one hell of a long time to download 50,000 songs from Cd's!    (To some, this wouldn't matter.  To me, the only thing worse than losing my collection is losing my wife.  Besides, my collection wasn't insured!)

Started blogging.  Probably, not the best time to do so, but what the hell, I've nothing else to do!  Using a cynical style of character in my writing.  Easy to do at this time as I find myself getting more and more cynical about things in general.  Have been told some like it and some don't.  Abe Lincoln had been told the same thing about the Emancipation Proclamation.  (No, I'm no Abe Lincoln.  Never killed a vampire in my life!)

November
Veterans representative is a joke at the Employment Office.  They're more concerned about taking care of the vets coming back from the Middle East than anyone else!   We were ignored when we came back from the Vietnam Era, and still ignored today!  (Next time, congressmen, you get your asses to the war and see what you're missing!)

Job fairs are offering only $10 an hour jobs at best.  What a farce!  (My country tis of thee, sweet land of screwing thee, bend over and squeal!)

December
What's the world coming to!  Kids getting shot, politicians saying, "So what" to the needs of the people, and everyone is either crying or going broke.   (But The Voice still leads in the TV Ratings Book!)

My eyes are gone.  Can't see 95% of the time.  Doctors say I need to have both operated on immediately, or may lose vision entirely.  Did as asked.  Still not much better.  (Could this have something to do with them needing extra money for Christmas?)

To make matters worse, have been advised that my unemployment runs out January 1st, and Obama cancelled all extensions.  Seems his goal is to get everyone to take two minimum wage jobs so he can say he brought the unemployment rate down.  (What?  Not O-Bam-Bam-A!  Why, he's the savior of the country, just like Bush was!  Why do I feel like we've been here before?)

Christmas just doesn't seem like Christmas.  Wife worked Christmas Day just to make double time pay.  I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have a woman like her, even though I don't deserve her.   (I just wish she made decent money so I could be a stay at home hubby.  I'd even promise her to learn how to make decent cookies!)

Finally, starting to get some hope!  Three companies are expressing interest in me.  A couple even promise decent income levels.  Not getting hopes up until dotted line is signed, but, at least there may be a light at the end of this 2012 dark tunnel.  (Better be or I'll be using candles to heat the house!)   

You will learn family values ...
or go crazy trying!

2013 can be a great year!  

All we have to do is: 

1)  start a worldwide revolution in which all the current politicians are given a travel trailer, $400 a week income, and forced to star in "Dirty Jobs" at least three times a season, and "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" twice (just for meanness)!  

2)  Next, void all CEO termination payoffs for doing a lousy job and stick their butts in a cardboard box in an alley!   

3)  Finally, remove all reality TV from the airwaves, and give all parents competency tests to see if they're qualified to be parents and teach the basic rules of life  (manners, responsibility, right or wrong, etc.) to their children.  For those failing the tests, lock them into padded cells and show continuous episodes of "The Andy Griffith Show", "Family Affair", and "Lassie", until they either pass, or are completely certifiable!


Life is tough, but one can never let it get them down.  I've done my best to find the humor in the madness this last year, and bring it to you.  I'll continue to do so in the future, as sometimes, a smile is all we have to give.

I wish each of you the happiest of New Year's and much prosperity and joy in the year to come.  And, if you see me on the side of the road with a sign in my hands, remember, 

I need cash, not a can of pork & beans!!!!

Keep Smiling & Happy New Year!!!!!