A New Demon Cat Story ... Hillary, KFC, McDonald's & TTOT!

"So, are you gonna do it?"

"Do what, Gabriela?"

"You said last week if enough readers wanted me to be in another story that you'd consider it.  So, are you gonna do it or not?"

"Sorry, do it can mean different things to different people.  It might mean jumping off a diving board, telling off a boss, starting a diet, or even making love for some people.  That's why I need for you to be a little more specific when you ask your questions.  I'm not a mind reader."

"I know that.  Obviously, you'd have to have a mind to be able to read one.  Okay, let me try this again.  Are you going to sit your big butt down in front of the computer, listen to what I've got to say, type it out in a known format, and post it for all two or three of your readers to read?  Or, are you going to sit on the damn couch all night, feeding your face with Hershey's Nuggets and Kettle Potato Chips, burping Diet Coke and farting last night's taco pie and smoking your cigarettes until the air in the room smells like an overflowing outhouse on a scorching Summer day, and blame me for your inactivity?  Is that specific enough for you?"

"You like the taco pie, too!"

"Don't change the topic!  Are you!"

(Welcome to my Home Sweet Home!  Ever since I wrote about my solid black feline, Gabriela, the week has been Hell.  No, not just a degree of Hell, but one spent in the main office of Hell.  She's seen to that!

So, at the advice and wishes of all those that cast the affirmative vote in her direction last week, I'll now try to appease her desires and your wishes, although I really think there are better things to write about.)

"So, how do you want me to start it?"

"I was hoping you'd ask.  Why, just two nights ago while I was peeing on your pillow ... oops, change that to while I was watching Faletame pee on your pillow ... I remembered a part of my third life that I'd hoped to never think of again."

"Was that your day of birth?"

"No, you ass, it wasn't my day of birth!  In fact, it was a couple of years after that.  Why when I was born for a third life, the angels sang, the birds chirped, and Preparation H actually shrunk hemorrhoids.  It was a glorious time for all, and especially hemorrhoid sufferers.

I had been born on a small farm.  Seemed as though the farmer always wanted a bunch of the superior race, cats, around to take care of his rodent problems.  The eating was good, the food was plenty, and none of us ever had room for desert.  Life was good!

Then, one day, two young human brats showed up.  I overheard the farmer telling his wife that they would only be there until the county found someone to adopt them.  Seems they had come from a tragic past where a fire had burned up their prior home and their parents along with it.  The children had been found by neighbors just staring at their burning home as screams from the burning parents inside rang out from the crackling and popping of hardwood floors and crashing ceiling beams.

Now, I don't like fire.  The things that a hot match will do to my fur is something no shampoo or conditioner can handle.  And, the smell of smoke, even those cancer filled cigarettes you smoke, Rich, stays in my fur forever!

One afternoon, after having just fed on a litter of baby mice (lordy, lordy, they're like caviar to me) I was stretched out, letting the sun carry me away to dreamland with my full tummy, when I hear the laughter of children close by, followed all of a sudden by a match striking.

I opened my eyes just in time to see the young boy throw a match at his sister, who was standing right in front of me!  Of course, she jumped out of the way.  But, by the time I saw the match coming, even my fleetness of four feet couldn't get me out of the way!  Damn thing landed right on my nose and burned like Hell!  See, I still have a scar, today!

Well, the boy and girl both just laughed and laughed about it.  

The little monsters were fire bugs!  They played with matches, set little fires behind the barn,  throw in different kinds of bugs that they'd catch, and giggle uncontrollably as the fire made them sizzle and pop.  What really got me was hearing them talk about the fire they'd set that killed their parents!  There wasn't an ounce of remorse in their hearts at all.  

From that day on my life was filled with lit matches and burn spots on my fur coat.  Knowing I couldn't go on that way, I had to work out a plan.

As Summer became Fall became Winter, I noticed that it only took a light breeze to blow shut the barn door.  There was a cut two by four that was hinged on one end, and would easily swing down into a metal u-bolt which would lock the door when the door banged against the barn.  In fact, the farmer got caught in there one day and it was after dark before his wife came out to see what the problem was.  Poor guy nearly froze.

You may call me "just a cat", but I have a brain more intelligent than most humans.  I know this from watching some of your reality shows on television.  For days, I thought about the monster kids, and the farmer getting locked in the barn and finally put a plan together.  

I knew what I must do.

That afternoon, while the farmer went to town.  I guess his wife was supposed to be watching the children, who were busy hunting something new to burn.  Meandering up to the house, I was amazed at my fortune of good luck upon looking in a living room window and seeing her napping on the couch.  

Then, I heard a match being lit.  I jumped without even looking and just cleared the flame as it settled into some dried leaves packed along the window ledge.  I didn't notice that the leaves caught fire almost immediately.

I ran, trying to save myself, through the open barn door, slowing only to let the children see me enter.  Within seconds they followed me.  Standing on the dried hay bales that was more like straw, I jumped back and forth and side to side avoiding their thrown matches.  

As the boy reached into his pocket after another box of the wooden fire sticks, I saw that the others had started a small flame in the corner.  Recognizing my chance, I rushed passed the children, used all my weight to slam shut the barn door, and let a smile come to my face as the two by four swung down, locking the children within the tinderbox.

Between the house burning and the barn burning, it's difficult to figure out which one burned the fastest.  I guess the farmer's wife had been overcome with smoke and passed out for good as I never heard anything from her.

I do remember the screams of the children as they burned.  Remembering how their parents had died, I simply figured that everything had come full circle.  

I laid down, stretched out, and watched the barn burn to the ground.  No regrets, no sorrow, no tears.  Sometimes, I'm a real bitch.

Oh, I had roasted mice and rats for weeks!  In fact, I ate so much that I never wanted another rodent again in that life.  

And, that's my story.  So, you gonna write about that?"

"I just did."

"Did you make me out to be the heroine?"

"Oh, you're a real hero in every one's eyes.  In fact, I think many have now seen a side to you that others saw as their last vision on Earth.  You may even get some fan mail from ISIS supporters."

"If you made me look bad I'm going to pee on your pillow, again."

"Want a roasted mouse for din-din, Gabriela?"

"Want me to claw your balls off while you sleep?"

"Go find Faletame and play, girl.  I've got to finish this up."

"Okay, I think I'll grab a couple of golf balls and practice for tonight.  See you later!"

And now, why many of you are here 
in the first place, 
it's time for this week's 

TEN THINGS OF THANKFUL!!!!

SEE ALL TTOT POSTS HERE!!!

This Week, I'm Thankful For:

1) ... Black couple gets IHOP Black waiter fired for typing "Black PPL" on takeout order receipt!  A couple ordered takeout at an IHOP restaurant in Austin, Texas.  When they received their order, they found "Black PPL" had been typed onto the receipt.  Outraged at being labeled, they complained to the manager, who fired the waiter, received apologies from corporate IHOP, and still made statement that they'd never return there. 
(*See Story Here)

This is too screwy to be anything but true.  

Damn, Those are good questions!

I'd love to see Al Sharpton tackle this one.  Would he say the waiter was wrongly fired or would he say that any type of description that mentions ANY color is racist labeling is not acceptable even within the same race?  And, if that is the case, every time he mentions "whites", is he, too, acting as would a racist?

I'm betting he goes into hiding at Denny's and thinks about it over a Grand Slam Breakfast with "Yellow" runny eggs sunny side up, "Orange" Juice, "Black" Coffee, and "White" Sausage Gravy over biscuits.

2)  ... a new video that shows a Baltimore police officer hitting a student while another officer stands by.  Once again, people are appalled at this type of behavior from law enforcement.  The two police officers were suspended pending investigation.  

Let's all blame the police again.  Isn't it easy?

However, me ask one question, "If parents are doing their jobs and properly disciplining their children at home, why is it necessary for 43% of the public schools in the United States to have police officers present?"

Think about it!

43% of the schools in the United States are so dangerous, have children that are so uncontrollable, and have eliminated the rights of school officials to discipline the major offenders that they've had to resort to police officers on the premises.

Isn't it time parents look into the mirror and see who's to blame.  No, don't try to shift it to someone else.  Your permissiveness, your ignorance, and your blurring of the lines between right and wrong have allowed this to happen.  Your inability to understand that you need to discipline your children, spend quality time with them, and curb their behavior when it borders on unacceptable IS the reason we're in the mess we're in.  

But, you can't accept that, can you?

You want to blame others, don't you?

And there, my friends, lies the problem.

3) ... Barnes & Noble's sales continue to drop.  Once again, the proof that people are reading fewer and fewer books continues as Barnes & Noble's sustained a 1.8% drop in book sales last quarter.  This makes seven straight quarters that they've had a drop in total sales.

Technology is taking over!  People no longer have the durability to sit for hours and waste time reading.  Knowledge is no longer a quest to be experienced.  The dumbing of society is proving to be effective!  

All I can say is that if you're an author working hard to finish a book, do so quickly.  Otherwise, you may be the only one reading it!

Damn, I'm just filled with good news this week, aren't I?

See what the Demon Cat does to me?

4)  ... KFC and McDonald's ban teenagers in English

town.  After a fight broke out at a KFC in Stoke-on-Trent, both fast food restaurants have banned teenagers unless they're escorted by an adult.  They will serve them food to take with them, but will no longer allow teens to act as though the restaurants are "their personal playground."  The fight discussed included over 20 teenagers and only ended when gunshots were heard.

Seems like the U.S. isn't the only place where parents have screwed up raising their kids, is it?  Only thing missing is physical abuse of the teenagers by the bobbies.

Oh, and aren't handguns banned in England?  Hmmm ... says a lot about gun control stopping those that break the law, doesn't it?

Personally, I think it's just a ploy by the restaurant chains to get the kids to bring in their parents so sales will increase.  Let's keep an eye on the profits of these two stores and see what happens!

"Money makes the world go-around,
the world go-around, the world go-around..."

5) ... Best and Worst jobs announced.  Careerbliss has released their listing of the Happiest jobs and the the worst jobs to have.  Included in the Happiest are: School Principal, Loan Officer, Executive Chief, Automation Engineer, Research Assistant and Website Administrator.  Included in the Worst Jobs are: Security Officer, Merchandiser, Sales, Dispatcher, Retail Clerk, and Legal Assistant.  

Damn, whatever happened to Rollercoaster tester, Movie Reviewer,

 or Food Critic?  Don't you remember when you wanted to be

 a Bubble Gum Bubble Blower Tester?

How times have changed!

6) ... Hillary Clinton ... "She should be buried under a jail."  ESPN Baseball Analyst, Curt Schilling, doesn't hold back when it comes to voicing his opinion.  ESPN took him off the air after he Tweeted a meme about Muslims, and is keeping him off the air after his latest comments were voiced.  Against both Trump and Clinton, Schilling referred to the Clinton email fiasco and stated that she should be in jail before the election is held, and that "She should be buried under a jail."

I haven't said much about Hillary.  I've constantly knocked Trump, but I've left Hillary alone.  Why?  Because she's changed her stance on issues so often Dancing With The Stars considers her a professional dancer.  Her security ignorance with the emails makes her a questionable one to trust our national security with, as is her inability to answer questions in a "to the point" manner.  And, the primary reason she wants to get back to the White House is to put an electric shock collar on Bill so she can shock the hell out of him when he starts messing around on her again.  
Vindictive, wouldn't you say?

Schilling may have gone a little too far 
suggesting that she be buried alive.  

May have.

And, then again ...

7) ... President Obama and Senate Majority Leader continue to play tug of war.  Obama says he will appoint a new judge to the SCOTUS soon.  Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, states that it should be the new president that fills the position.  CNN viewers, predominantly Liberal, have a 58 to 41% lead in going along with the President.

Does it really matter?  A judge is on the court for life.  If a judge's job is to interpret the law, why is it so important to each party to choose one they want?  Isn't the law the law?  Shouldn't the judges view the cases in front of them in accordance of the law instead of in accordance with the views of the party that put them in office?

Guess not!  That's why the battle continues.

Says a lot about our justice system, doesn't it?

8) ... Spain is now the world's most popular winemaker!  Spain sold more wine last year than any other country.  That's the good news.  Bad news is that it sold it for a very low price.

Remember decades ago when the U.S. had cheap Boone's Farm and MD 20/20?  Ripple this and Strawberry that 
... those were the days.  

I wonder, how do you say, 
"Cheap High" in Spanish?

9) ... funerals are now going Green.  Thanks to a North Carolina company, funerals are now all about recycling the human body back into nature.  No embalming or vaults will be allowed.  Only a pine box that will break down over time allowing the body to recycle itself into the Earth.

Besides, with the zombie apocalypse coming soon, it will be much easier for them to escape their graves this way!

AND NOW, MY RANT FOR THE WEEK!!!!

Not being a fan of any candidate in this years campaigns, I thought I'd be able to keep from getting upset when one side bashed the other.  However, there are some things that are simply not right and must be addressed.

This is a clip from the Louisville campaign stop for Trump that shows the different groups that attended ... supporters and protesters alike.  More than twenty different groups were there.  I present this to show the difference in opinions present there.  All present were not Trump supporters, racists, and dumb Kentucky rednecks, as labeled by some who stereotype and judge without common sense.  

I wonder, could it be possible that his supporters became upset at the constant interruptions that were made by these "anti-Trump" groups and grew fed up with the inability to listen without hearing jeers and such?  

Remember, when you read #10, there are two sides to every story.

10)  ... film clips on the Internet that are strategically cut to sway opinions.  In an effort to continue to prove that people are really stupid, cutting film clips on the web to sway public opinions is becoming a way of life. 

This week, a film clip that was displayed on Facebook more than any other showed a black college student being hounded, pushed and shoved as she was forced to leave a Donald Trump campaign appearance.  This was followed up by article after article stereotyping the citizens of Kentucky, condemning the Trump Campaign, and played to the emotions of anyone concerned with civil rights, working hard in stirring up racists feelings within the citizens of the United States.

This is an extended clip showing that individuals 

of ALL COLORS were being ejected. 

Now, let's get real.  This wasn't a racist occurrence.  Protesters of all colors were being ejected from the event!!!!  The clip had been cut to sensationalize racism, instead of giving a true picture of what was taking place!

Both Trump's and Clinton's personal appearances have been filled with individuals being forcibly ejected.  Security personnel have even been accused of throwing down a member of the press and putting him in a choke hold.  

We are not in the middle of a political campaign.  We are in the middle of a battle to gain control of an office that is becoming more and more like an "electorial dictatorship".  (I know it's an oxymoron but it applies.)  The sad thing is that the two leaders of this campaign are both known for lying to the American public consistently, stirring up the public and avoiding issues continuously, and forever blaming others for their shortcomings instead of taking personal accountability.  Sounds like some parents I know!

There are NO viable candidates in this campaign that care about the working man.   Unfortunately, most will not shed their Hillary / Donald fairy dust and awaken to recognize this until the election is over.

For those assholes that would like to put all citizens of Kentucky in a 
stereotypical grouping, I can only say, 

"You're so damn stupid your tongue has slapped 
your brains to mush while you were trying to wipe your butt!"

("Yes, Virginia, I am accusing the guilty of having their head up their ass.")

There are assholes all over the United States (and the world).  Be they liberal or conservative, they haven't the intelligence (regardless of their educations level) to understand the viewpoints of others.  And, regardless of their egotistic opinions,  geography of residence doesn't make one person superior to another.  There will always be the ignorant in all areas of the country that make great press and aid in our news agencies promoting sensationalism.  It is hoped that at least some of the people that attempt to consider themselves to be intelligent would cast aside the El Toro Defecation and see what is really happening.  That doesn't seem to be the case. 

We cannot look beyond the darkness that surrounds this campaign.  

Trump will not be the choice of the Republican Party.  
He doesn't fit their mold in any way.  
He is only a temporary distraction to steal air time away from Hillary.

Yet, he seems to appeal to those who are tired of having jobs shipped overseas, food taken out of their mouths, and standards of living being lowered.  They seem to be fed up with trying to make ends meet while preference seems to be given to lifelong welfare recipients, illegal aliens, and the criminal element.  They are afraid of more of the same, including the cattle herding politically correct groups ruling the country, the police not properly acting in accordance with the oaths they take, and the criminal element getting away on technicalities in our failing justice system.  

For these folks, the race has become emotional, void of intelligent analysis.  Sad thing is that it's happening on both sides of the coin.

They have forgotten that politicians are just that ... politicians.  They lie to get elected, and then cast aside all promises only as necessary rhetoric for their cause, validating their actions.  Once in office, they will continue to take care of big business, cater to clients that assisted them achieve their political office, and smile while they spit on the voters that put them in office.

God, people really are stupid, aren't they?


That's going to do it for this week!

Ciao!