I've been tagged. Another Blog Hop About Me. (What a boring topic!)

Ivy at "Uncharted" tagged me to reveal seven things about myself as a writer.  That is all I know about the hop.  I have no links to the hop or even it's name.  So, if you are in a feeling of loss, simply imagine being me!

As I stated, I have been tagged to reveal seven things about myself as a writer. Strange, as I really don’t consider myself a writer.  I am a teller of tales, a witness to the asinine, and a soothsayer of events (current and future).  Still, let me see what I can relay to satisfy this “tagging process.”

1)  I am a Gemini.  This means that I love starting things but seldom finish.  Writing short stories is a way to keep this from becoming a major factor or hindering my creations from ever being seen.  Besides this, about the only thing I finish is lovemaking, but I find it easy to satisfy myself anyway.

2)  I’ve actually had over 600 pages of a novel done for years, but can’t figure out a way to end it without sounding trite or in a cliche.  I’ve rewritten and attempted different paths to finish this marvelous tale, but may simply end it, “The Story Will Continue In Part II, Soon To Be Published.”  Hopefully, I’ll die before too many people force me to write the conclusion and be remembered as one of the finest writers never to finish the series.

3)  I lean towards dark humor, overstepping boundaries whenever possible and bringing in the extremes few feel comfortable experiencing.  Playing is safe is boring.  You haven’t lived until you’ve told a joke onstage that makes people squirm in their seats at first, and then provide nervous laughter afterward.  That’s when you really know you’ve touched a nerve.  I lean my writing that direction, also.

4)  I actually have written a sales training manual, a customer retention manual, and a telemarketing manual, all of which are still in use at various institutions.  These were done under a corporate name for legal purposes.  Still, when I visit these corporations, it’s amazing how many people come up to me and tell me how much my teachings changed their perspectives and futures.  So, I wonder, “Why the hell am I so broke if they’re all doing so well!”

5)  My first short story ever published was in a science fiction magazine in the 70’s.  It entailed a person born with super hearing and the trials they endured just by living an average life.  I know, I had too much time on my hands.  Yet, they paid me the enormous sum of $75 for it, which was equivalent to $150 today.  Two more stories and I could have afforded to go to Starbucks.

6)  I would prefer to write short stories instead of blog posts, but few will take the time to read a good short story in a blog.  I do a blog hop periodically that allows me to be creative in the opening before getting factual in the second half.  There are times I’ve written shorts for this to simply see if they draw interest.  I’ve learned that blog hop readers don’t appreciate shorts, so most of the time I just find something to bitch about to make them feel as though we’re all going through life together.  Misery loves company!

7)  I have great compassion for the human race and for the people I meet individually, but seldom let that shine through.  In my sarcastic looks at the news”, I do my best to show the idiocy of our government to open the eyes of the reader before it’s too late.  I do my best to instill a spark to keep them from “dumbing down” and to get them thinking in alternatives.  I do my best to get them to add one and one and see that it does equal two, instead of what the propaganda masters of television news sensationalism broadcast.  I figure I’m on my last slide down the mountain, so no big deal if I piss any of them off.  If something I’ve said will just stimulate a person to start thinking then I’ve succeeded as a writer.  

And, as that satisfies the requirements of the hop, I bid you adieu!