Friday, August 8, 2014

Ten Things Of Thankful ... Like A Poltergeist, I'm Back!!!

I’m really shocked by our news providers in the United States.

I guess I should be thankful that we have them at all, but, then again, one has to question the news they choose to provide.  


It’s kind of like saying, 
“Hey, there’s a new restaurant going up on the corner … 
oh, it’s a McDonalds.  Bleck!”


For example, take early this week.  There were multiple disasters on which to report.  The Gaza Strip War continued, Hurricane Bertha hit the Bahamas, two hurricanes were aimed at Hawaii, mudslides in the San Bernadina Valley in California stranded thousands, a Chinese earthquake and mudslide killed more than 300, a tornado hit the major metro area of Istanbul, Turkey, and a Bangladesh ferry collapsed with more than 200 on board (over 100 remain missing).  You might think those would be the top stories that the news agencies would cover.


Then again, you must remember the mentality of the modern day newscaster in the states.  


Instead, these were some of the top stories being covered:


1)  Guess what America’s top ten party schools are
     (if you’re sober enough to guess, you’re not attending one),  
2)  Sandra Bullock is Hollywood’s highest paid actress
    (at least outside of the porn industry),
3)  Rare lobster rescued from grocery store
    (get ready for another “hero” story to arrive soon),
4)  Joan Rivers shows her softer side
     (no, she didn’t bare her butt),
    … and who could forget the most important story of the week …
5)  51% of Americans don’t like their Congressmen
    (this is new news???).


This goes along with my philosophy that we are raising future generations of stupid people in the United States through environmental conditioning. Since most educated people are waiting until later in life to have children, the uneducated are the ones creating a major population boom. Soon, they'll all be looking to the educated saying, "How the hell do we feed all these kids we have?" And, when the educated look at them and say, "You should have thought of that when you were pumping like rabbits", the uneducated will retaliate with violence and kill them. We will have come full circle and return to the days of the cavemen!


Like I said, “Stupid people!”

But, most of them can play video games like they’re going out of style!!!
(And, I’m not talking Pac Man or Donkey Kong!)
Perhaps, one day, the world’s future will be decided by kids playing video games.  There’s already been a movie somewhat based on that concept called “Ender’s Game.”  A group of selected youth play a game that ends up almost completely disposing of another world’s population.  Harrison Ford portrays a character that could just about be classified as a bad guy.  
Damn, there went my respect for Hans Solo!

Could this be a near future scenario?  Could we use kids as warriors and push the adults into the background?  Could video game processes and operation be a college degree area in the years ahead?


Or, could there just be an exceptional number of teenage carpel tunnel patients awaiting free medical assistance from the O-Bam-Bama's of the future?


If the doctors treating it are as educated as their patients, we might as well pull out the old “Operation” game of the 60’s, 70's and 80’s and hope we don’t touch the edge of the incisions with the metal tweezers!  ZZZZZZZZZZZZap!!!!!!"
If you remember this game, you are definitely
over the hill ... get used to it!
Anyway, I’ve been away from Ten Things of Thankful for a while.  In other words, I’ve been too damn busy at work to take the time to write.  (Shame when that happens, isn’t it?)  But, in complete disregard of popular opinion, I’m making my return here today.  


My sis, Lizzi, has been very understanding of my absence (she doesn’t read my stuff either, so don’t feel bad) and has not been whipping me with the cat ‘o nine tails as often as she once did.  (Guess she’s getting to old and the arthritis is affecting her swing.)  It’s been nice, but every once in a while, I have to return just to pester everyone with my version of being thankful.
So, without further ado, let the pestering begin!!!


“Hell, I guess I’m gonna have to be thankful for…”


I like that young stuff ... well, I used to
like that young stuff ... well I kind of
remember liking that young stuff ...
damn, too many drugs!
1)  Charles Manson.  Since the late 60’s, Charlie has been a constant reminder about the end of the Peace, Love, Dove Generation.  After manipulating others through drugs and mind control techniques, he persuaded several members of “The Family” to go on a two night killing spree that left seven dead.  We have seen movies, read books, and seen interviews for over 40 years concerning the events and trial.  One would think that enough would be enough.


Fooled you!  Charlie again enters the news again as he’s found true love.  A 25 year old young lady has fallen for the 79 year old prisoner.  Fallen, so hard, that there is talk of wedding bells in the air.  However, let us not be whisked away by a tale of romance just yet.


Let’s think about this.  
  1. There are no conjugal visits in California prisons for convicted murderers, so she never has to worry about his saggy ass pumping her, if he could even get it up!  
  2. Manson’s name and trademark are worth millions.  Even though he hasn’t been able to capitalize on it while in jail, there’s no reason why she couldn’t after the old bastard kicks the bucket!  Do we see Cupid’s arrows being replaced with dollars signs in the eyes of the beloved?  
  3. Sounds like a reality show in the making.  “How my heart was broken by a man I could never touch.”  I think it’s got the Jersey bunch shaking with fear as they worry about the ratings war!

So, thank you, Charlie!  Thank you for being the one asshole in the world that every stupid person can look up to and say, “See mom, if I don’t go to school, treat people like dirt and manipulate everyone I can, and get people to kill for me, I could be just like him!”

And Charlie, stay away from Honey Boo Boo!!!
Geeesh!!!  


2)  Ice Cream Bars.  Don’t ask me why.  Just open the package on one and go to town on it.  You’ll soon understand.  (Just stay away from Walmart’s Ice Cream Sandwiches.  They’re known to survive the fires of Hell without melting, which really makes one wonder if we’re talking Ice Cream or asbestos here!)


3)  The movie “Noah.”  I never knew there were giant stone creatures in the tale of Noah’s ark.  “God, please, tell me what else was left out of the Bible before Hollywood 
surprises me again!”


4)  The Ebola Disease.  We need a 
killer virus to kill off half the stupid people in the world.  This may just be it!


Ebola Virions ... looks kind of like the
inside of the Aliens pod hive, doesn't it?
Where's Sigourney Weaver anyway?
Now, the story goes that Ebola was confined to a small space in West Africa.  People that caught it were dying without fail.  So, what does the State Department decide to allow?  Of course, let’s bring this Ebola to the United States and treat infected personnel here!  We can’t keep individuals from stealing jets and crashing into skyscrapers, but we can easily contain germs we cannot see!  Duhhhhhhh!   (I seriously hope the decision makers in this are the first to go!)

I would love to see all of our beloved (?) politicians make personal appearances with those that are infected.  Why, they can even pledge their life insurance money to furthering the research of a cure for this dreaded alien Ebola.  And, let’s not forget allowing all CEO’s that have multi-million dollar buy-outs in their contracts an opportunity to take every infected individual a sample of their products and personally explain how they can benefit by them.


Making the world a better place is really easy, isn’t it?

6)  Diet A&W Cream Soda. Again, “I don’t know why I love you like I do, I don’t know why I just do….”    
(Excuse me while I belch.)

5)  NFL Preseason Games.  No one cares who wins since the results don’t count on the official record.  So, how dare they call them games!  All they’re actually doing is practicing against someone they don’t see every day so when the coaches get ready to fire a bunch of these guys they’ll have an excuse to do it.  However, the common male viewer also benefits as he has a chance to practice his “Yes, Dears” while perfecting his wife ignoring skills before the real season starts!  (Now that's a REAL Game!!!!)


7)  Papa John’s Pulled Pork Barbecue Pizza.  Add onions to the regular toppings and you’ve got a constipation creator for days!!!  (Hell, if you’re lactose intolerant, go to Subway and tell them, “No Cheese, Please!”)

This was taken during my fat
and stupid years.  Guess What?
I'm no longer fat!!
8)  Britney Spears.  Recently, Britney released a photo of her abs supposedly erasing the last ten years of her life.  Damn, she’s still a stupid bitch!  Abs do not erase marrying a loser, ignoring her kids, forgetting her panties for the press shots, slandering other performers, and just doing stupid thing after stupid thing.  (Maybe we can get her to next do a personal performance for the Ebola infected!)   


9)  Good friends with computer repair skills.  Okay, so I did the stupid thing and bought a new PC a couple of weeks ago after having used a laptop with two multi input USB input hubs for months.  And, “Yes”, I hate Windows 8.  
(Just for the record.)


However, I did find a friend that diagnosed and fixed my old computer for a very minimal fee.  Now I have three laptops and two PC’s to rely on.  All I need to do is grow a few more sets of hands and eyes and I’ll be able to visit and comment on blogs the way I used to do before the 70 hour work weeks became the norm.  (“Yes, dear, I’m happy I have a job.  Yes, dear, it’s bringing in money.  Yes, dear, football is on right now.”)


10)  Tattoos.  Some people love ‘em, some people hate ‘em, and some of us could care less about them.  There’s a new report stating that in addition to the usual infections and problems they can create (Hepatitis, staph infections, and the super bug known as MRSA), some of the ink now being used can carry extreme bacterial infections.
Eye Candy For The Ladies!
So, if you enjoy fevers, shaking chills and sweats, and possible circulatory and heart problems, go ahead and get that flaming Satan devil inside of the blooming, burning flower being held in Garfield’s groin, tramp stamp tattoo.  You’re supporting the tattoo industry, as well as the medical industry at the same time, and they thank you for it! Cha-Ching!!!
Eye Candy For The Guys!

* * * * * * * * *


That wraps up another edition of my version of Ten Things Of Thankful.  If you enjoyed this, I thank you and hope that you’ll take a few minutes to leave a glowing and wondrous comment.  If you felt this uncalled for, well, just wait until my next installment.  I tend to grow more sarcastic with age!


Ciao!!!


18 comments:

  1. Well den, share some stuff where I can SEE IT! Lol :p

    Glad you're back in with this though - I've missed your snark. And you'll laugh, cos part of my post (wait - yeah, I have a blog, too! I write there sometimes...perhaps you've seen!) is about the next tattoo I want. But I love fevers and plagues so I'll be fine.

    The news. SUCKS. So I don't engage with it if I can avoid it. It seems determined to avoid the important stuff.

    Kids with video games in charge? Would they do worse than the current lot? Who knows...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Sis! Now, now, I'm trying to keep you safe and sound from any spousal arguments. lol Actually, I'd read about your desire for a small tattoo when I was linking up, and thought to myself, "Yep, she's in for a surprise tonight!" You're in such good shape from all your running and such, you'll probably be fine. Of course, you could get really sick and die, but let's not think about that. :)

      I agree about the news sucking. It's almost like the news agencies are trying to "mother" us and protect us from all the atrocities and tragedies going on in the world. Somewhere along the line, they've forgotten it's their job to give us the news, whether they like it or not.

      I think I'll pass on the video game kids. Since most of them are exceptionally violent, we might all end up dead ... which is going to happen anyway ... but a little less violent, hopefully!

      Many Thanks!

      Delete
  2. Rich, I'm not looking forward to a future that kids who play video games decide. Tough call. :( But I'm thankful for that generation of baby boomers and those who have gone before who did!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello, old friend! Good to see you here! I can understand your feelings. There's a part of reality that they just seem to be missing at times. When I took a high performance driving class a few years ago and entered a corner a little too fast on the track, it suddenly hit me that this is no video game ... I only have one life. A race track isn't meant to go slow on, but one still has to pay really close attention to keep from getting into trouble. It's a lesson real life taught that video games fail to emphasize. Many Thanks!

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Very nice to meet you, too, Val! Thanks for stopping in! :)

      Delete
  4. Since you mentioned "Love, Peace, and Dove", I just had to go to YouTube and listen to some Beatles songs. Which turned into listening to excerpts of Bach's Brandenburg Concerts, because I remembered that we've covered those in 8th grade music class only a few months before the Beatles. Now I'm listening to Vivaldi's Bassoon Concertos, because those are my favorites, and will probably terrorize the hubby with some HIM later, just because I can. Thanks a lot, Rich :-) Regarding your introduction: just in case you haven't known yet, now you're definitely one of my favorite people. Sounds like the introduction of Idiocracy, and many people in the US are too stupid to realize that. Glad to live in Germany :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephanie - Tis always a pleasure to see you visiting and commenting! Please, don't tell your hubby I'm the reason for the torture ... please! Put on some nice James Taylor, Bread, or mellow Jefferson Airplane and relax. lol It really is a shame that the populace has gone down the tubes the way it has. There are still sparks here and there, but the lunacy that tend to prevail is very evident. Too much technology and too little time raising kids right, along with politicians sticking their noses into something they know nothing about ... the educational system! Thanks again for everything! Rich

      Delete
  5. Count me in the "definitely over the hill" crowd.

    I bought an ice cream cone yesterday, and was relieved that it started melting almost immediately after I purchased it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kristi - So very nice of you to visit! Don't feel bad, I've been there for over 20 years. My daughters bought me black balloons and a black cooler with "Over the Hill" scrawled all over it for my 40th birthday. I'm so glad they're out of the house now. lol Helps keep the "revenge" feelings at bay. I've started watching the ice cream I buy a little more carefully, too. Last thing I want during a morning constitution is to suffer a freezing tail end because of Walmart! Really appreciate you commenting! Many Thanks!

      Delete
  6. "…and now, with electrolytes!!"*

    * 'Idiocracy' Mike Judge's v funny movie. But why do I think that you would not need to line quote to identify the source? lol
    I think we should sponsor a context to see who can come closest to anticipating the next made-up meteorological term for: storm with rain/snow… you know that the marketing people at the networks are surely working over time…. 'superstorm' is so last hurricane season… and excellent as it was, polar vortex is now old (weather) news.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clark - My old friend! Really good to see you again! God, I wish I had more time to get around to blogs these days. I do so miss seeing yours and being constantly confused as to what I am. lol

      I've heard of Mike Judge's movie, but never seen it. It's amazing how the creator of Beavis and Butthead could be so on track with today's society. Actually, it's damn scary that today's youth are getting to be more and more like Beavis and Butthead. "Heh, Heh ....."

      I agree about the next disaster naming contest. I'm just waiting on when the weathermen start naming them after the bad guys in Batman! Can't you just hear it ... "And as Hurricane Catwoman claws her way up the Atlantic Coast, tornadoes Penguin and Poison Ivy create a path of destruction in the Midwest! In Japan, Tsunami Joker has fun washing away Godzilla's homeland! Stories on the half hour!" OMG, we are getting more and more stupid! It's True!!!

      Appreciate you stopping in, sir! Many Thanks!

      Delete
  7. I could comment about why I chose not to have kids until my 30s and now think that I can't anyways...
    I could comment on my half-sister who's yet to graduate from college who's not quite 25 but about to bear her 4th child...
    But now, I choose to focus on #8 - because though it sounds good, I think I clogged an artery just by reading and um...
    #10. Tattoos. I could care less. Actually, no wait. I DO care. The tattooed always say, "it's ink, it looks good, it has meaning." But EYE (I) say that I've never loved anything so much as to tattoo myself with whatever it is I love because really, whatever it is that I love with blur and fade to black in time...hmmm...kind of like a tattoo, lol.
    Now, if I were part of a Native American tribe and tattooed tribal markings, well, okay, fine that WOULD be cool. But, since I'm more of a Heinz 57, I feel like I should just stick with "let me just work on my mental contemplation" rather than spending money on ink...I'll be able to afford finer things in life that way, like...a book or two. Hahaha.
    Now...whether anything I wrote here actually makes sense I won't know until you respond, let's just say that I have a big smile as I write this as you shake your head at my insanity...haha. Have a good week, friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cyndi! So happy you commented today!

      See, you're exactly as I described. The intelligent fail to breed and the less intelligent multiply! (Don't take offense as I have no idea of your sister's intelligence level.) Still, would we rather have the genes of one that is educated, versatile, multi-talented, and obviously above the norm, or ten more ghetto babies born to a welfare assistance household that has no desire to improve upon itself beyond the possibility of producing a future NBA star to pay the way for the rest of the loser family? And the sad thing is, today's educational curriculum tends to breed the latter. Scary, isn't it?

      Okay, you caught an editing mistake! I'd switched the order of 7 & 8 without adjusting the numbers. Cut and paste is a dangerous thing when in the hands of the weary. lol You ought to try the pizza, though. Remember, moderation is the key!

      I've always been so close to getting a tattoo, but was always fearful of how it would look as I aged. I guess I could get one now as I don't have much more aging to worry about! Still, having an Italian background, I wonder how much money a plate of spaghetti tattoo would run! And, I agree with you, there's always something better to spend one's money on. Why, just yesterday I bought a Blu-Ray containing both "Airplane" and "Airplane 2". :)

      I appreciate you stopping in and commenting, my true friend! I hope your week is one filled with pleasure and prosperity. Oh, and if you learn how to finally make a kid, name it after me! (No, don't ... my dad named me after him and I hate it!) Ciao!

      Delete
  8. Remembering Operation makes me over the hill?? That's great news. Now all I want to do is take a big ol' nap.
    The news has the power to do one of two things for me: make me very angry or very depressed. Even the weather.
    I have but one question....with the way things are being run today, would kids with video games running the show really be worse?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sandy - I was hoping you'd stop by. Got the old walker with wheels out of the closet and brought the Operation Game I see! lol Btw, naps are great! I'm becoming a real fan of them, even though my boss isn't the happiest. :)

      Today's kids scare me. Oh, there are exceptions, but too many of them simply don't have a grasp on reality. (Much like our politicians of the day.) There's too much "bang bang shoot 'em up" for my liking. I know, I know, when I was a kid, all the boys had toy rifles and guns to play Army and Cowboys & Indians with. We shot imaginary enemies by the thousands and ourselves sustained many imaginary deaths and wounds. But, we recognized that it was all play ... not reality. We still understood the difference between real life and games ... unlike many of the kids today. We didn't drive along a California boulevard shooting up people we didn't know, just because things didn't go our way. Nor did we go into crowded theaters, or schools, or restaurants with guns blazing. I think the difference lies in the fact we were killing imaginary enemies that we only saw in our mind, instead of 60 inch images of real life enemies on a television screen. Of course, much of it goes back to how a child is being raised. However, with two parent working families now the norm, the essential guidance needed is not always there when it's so vitally needed.

      There's always been wars, and will always be. Greed and lack of understanding tend to build excuses for conflicts. Today's lack of tolerance factor that is witnessed so often leads to more excuses for minor issues to become major. We're definitely a society in trouble, with more and more violence the route. Somewhere along the line, the "human morality" must return. Without it, we're doomed. I really don't think the answer lies in more violent video games being used as babysitters. But, then again, what do I know? :)

      Love it when you come by. Greatly appreciated and Many Thanks!

      Delete
  9. Catching up on my TToTs a bit late, but as usual, I share many of your frustrations. And I couldn't care less about tattoos either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sarah - Thanks for stopping in! I've still got to make the rounds. Just not much time available these days with my schedule. I'm not sure these items are frustrations ... more just observations. I usually dissect and item, cut away the sensationalism and bull, and simply try to present it for what it is. I'd get frustrated if I could do something to change the item but didn't, so since I really can't change it, there's no reason to get frustrated. In fact, I usually just sit back and have to laugh at it. lol I guess that comes with age, of which I have plenty of! :) Really appreciate you stopping in and commenting. Many Thanks!

      Delete