Tuesday, March 19, 2013

It's Tuesday, So It Must Be Rambling Time!


Over the last three days, I've written four blogs ... and published none of them.


Why?

Because I'm getting long winded in my old age.  (Okay, so you already knew that.  Sometimes, the writer is the last to know.)

I usually write my blogs in Microsoft Word and then copy and paste them, adding the pictures afterwards.  However, when I find myself at four pages, and not yet halfway done, I have to ask myself, "Will this hold an Internet audience?"

Inevitably, I have to say, "No, it won't."

So, I have two options.  Either publish it knowing that I'm not going to be read, or not publish it and have the blog go unnoticed.  

Just what every writer wants!  That's like being a baker and people not eating your cake.  Or, being a home builder and seeing the homes stay empty.  Or, being a porno actor and not ... well, use your imagination.

So, instead of keeping the blog bare (okay, stop thinking about the porno's now), I've decided to ramble.  I've yet to decide about what to ramble.  That's the nice thing about rambling ... you don't have to plan in advance ... you just ramble.

Nat King Cole had a big hit in the early 60's called "Ramblin' Rose" that everybody loved.  I never could figure it out.  Was a rose actually rambling?  And, if so, what would a rose ramble about?
"Hey, let's talk awhile about thorns.  I love my thorns.  In fact, I love my thorns so much that I try to make them bigger and bigger.  They keep dumbasses from picking me, smelling me, and tossing me away!  Of course, there's always the dummy in love that doesn't see that I have thorns.  I laugh my petals off when the prick sticks his fingers with my thorny stickers.  So, I guess you could say my thorny stickers stick the horny pickers!"  
I really don't think Nat King Cole was thinking about that when he sang the song.



Could it be that Rose is a female that constantly prattles?  
"My husband ... oh, my husband ... he's such a hard working schmuck!  He works hard at not working!  I say, "Leonard, just go to work and get the job done.  We need the money!"  And he looks at me and says, "Rose, I'm not feeling well today.  I think I'm going to stay home."  I say, "HOME!  HOME!  I don't want cha at home.  I want cha at work!  I want to stay home and don't want cha around.  You think I want cha to give whatever you've got to me?!?!  You gotta be kidding!  Go to work and give it to that schmuck of a boss you've got!  The one that won't give you a raise!  Make him sick!"
No, I don't think Nat had that in mind either.  Perhaps I should go back and listen to the song again ... one day ... and spend more time trying to figure it out.   Nawwwwww!

Anyway, I was sitting here thinking about all that's gone on in the last week and questioning some of the latest news items.



  1. If the Pope is a direct representative to God, why are men choosing him?  Shouldn't God send a sign or something?  I'd be looking for the guy walking around with the flashing cloud following him, wouldn't you?  And, now the new pope is Pope Francis.  The last Francis I remember was 'Francis the Talking Mule" from movie fame in the 50's.   
  2. If two high school kids rape an underage teenage girl that's so drunk she can't remember what happened, where were the parents?  "Sure, my dear, I understand that you're underage.  But, as a parent, I hope you get totally wasted and enjoy all the delinquencies life offers!  Just don't throw up on the carpet when you get home."
  3. If the government finances are so bad that the White House has to stop the public tours, why is John Kerry allotting Egypt over 200 million dollars in aid?  I guess the pyramids will still be able to keep their tour guides with that cash!
  4. If North Korea poses such a nuclear threat to us, why don't we volunteer to send more overpaid NBA basketball players there to negotiate?  Dennis Rodman obviously did such a good job, just imagine what a few more of these under educated, overpaid millionaires could do.  Before you would know it, the North Korean leaders would be so busy fighting in the stands, they wouldn't have time to escalate war possibilities.
  5. Who really cares if Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest broke up?  She used him to get ahead, and he used her to get a head.  That's what they do in Hollywood, isn't it?
So much for the news.  It's really just as ridiculous as always.  Common sense takes a back seat and loses its virginity, just like at the drive-in movies in the 60's.  (No wonder Elvis flicks were so popular then ... no one watched them but the drive-ins were filled with young girls fantasies and young boys efforts to complete them.)


One of my blogs that remains unpublished was about the differences in life from decade to decade over the last 50 years.  I started it in the 60's, as I was only 6 years old when the 50's ended.  I concluded that my first six years really didn't make me an expert on that decade, unless it was filled with measles, pets, using an outhouse, and having an operation.  Of course, I remember TV shows like "The Texas Rangers", "Rin Tin Tin", "Zorro" and "Hopalong Cassidy", but no one else does.  No need to talk about them then.  I'm thinking about making it a weekly series, even knowing that many weren't around until many decades later.  Let me know what you think about it in the comments.

Another is a strange topic that I'm working on making shorter and more humorous.  I'm almost afraid to publish another cerebral piece after just having done the "Secrets" one last week, so it may be a week or two in coming.  

Nothing like getting commercials about coming attractions, is there?

Well, that's it for this Rambling Tuesday feature.  I could ramble on and on, but one must know where the Internet limits are.  I will do my best to participate in FTSF this week.  Last week, I was just too wiped out to even try.  Work is a killer of creativity at times, and 11 hour days don't help.  

Again, my apologies to all of you that follow my writings, but seldom see me at yours.  I do my best, but have recently found myself sleeping in the recliner immediately after eating my evening meal around nine p.m.   I'll try to do better.

Keep smiling and writing!  The two go well together.  So do we.  

See you next time!



27 comments:

  1. Keep on rambling Rich! You definitely have the knack!

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    1. Suzi - So good of you to drop by today! It looks like I'm either going to have to choose less involved topics or just ramble. I had to stop the other night when I saw the total number of pages I'd written with the end no where in sight. I started thinking, "Hey, I might just have a worst seller book lying in wait here!" lol Really good to see you again! Many Thanks!

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  2. Rich, I love when you Ramble On and could do that anyday of the week for me. I have quite a few blogs pre-scheduled and you may think about using some of what you wrote and just pre-schedule it. Such a shame to waste good writing. And thank you as always for trying to participate in FTSF. seriously, I know how busy you are with work and if you can't seriously no worries. Just take care of you!! :)

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    1. Janine - Good morning! Oh, Gabriela told me to tell you "Hello" (had to do that before I forgot). It's really not the scheduling that is a problem, it's simply deciding if what I'm writing is interesting enough as a series to keep people coming back. I started looking at the decades through different characteristics and viewpoints, and thought if I just covered one area at a time (Youth of the day, Family relationships, etc.) it might fly. Still trying to figure it out. Thanks for all your care and kindness. Always greatly appreciated, my friend!

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  3. I liked reading the news as I listened to you ramble and listened to Nat King Cole. Rambling Rose was quite soothing and helped my anxiety a little bit...thank you! I am glad you are writing and have made so many great connections on FB and HP! You are one of my favorite writers! TTYS :)

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    1. Audra - So good to see you again! Glad you enjoyed this piece. I'm thinking about making it a weekly event. It allows me the freedom to cover many things without going overboard on any, and to use some humor in doing so. How can I not thank you for getting me into Facebook? You got me into so many groups to start with, and the exposure developed from there. Believe me, I never forget those who helped me along the journey. I'm just glad to see you return, also. Your absence was strongly noticed. Many Thanks!

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  4. dude! you left out Sky King and Lassie!! (god! June Lockhart!! she got hotter with each successive series! my teenage brains still retains that hormone scars of her as Mrs. Robinson...no! not *that* Mrs. Robinson!! the Mrs. Robinson in the silver jumpsuit...)

    Hey this ramble thing is kinda fun! And not just for the old folks home reminiscence either... Popes?? you want to talk about Popes?... as a tiny life form in the 50's I recall hearing a parental unit speak about Eisenhower and the presidential race and I totally did not understand how running could result in a proper selection of a leader (well, I didn't really think that last part, but I definitely thought the first part.

    I agree about the difficulty of moderation. I am trying to equilibriasize my own blogging, but, like you, I am a product of the 60's and we all know the saying, 'if it's worth doing...it's worth over-doing'

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    1. Clark - Good morning, my friend! Alas, I was trying to limit the television shows mentioned for fear I might slide into the 60's. Shows like "I Love Lucy", "My Friend Flicka", "The Rebel", "Rawhide", and those you mentioned came to mind, but I was really too lazy to look up each one of them to see what decade they aired in! lol I really don't remember much about Eisenhower. However, I do remember the Kennedy/Nixon debate and how I thought Kennedy talked funny ... like my grandparents did in Rhode Island. lol The rambling tends to allow me certain freedoms, as well as an opportunity to express some of the lack of wisdom of the daily news. I may make it a weekly thing. Many Thanks!

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  5. Rich I loved the questions - I've been watching a bunch of junk t.v. - surprised you didn't mention the sexy date killer Jodi Arias! After 18 days of testimony I'd say guilty! Enough of her!

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    1. Kelly - Thanks so for visiting! Junk TV is a part of our lives, whether we wish it to be or not. My wife has just found "Lizard Lick Towing" and has become a true fan. (I'm thinking of divorcing her because of that and "Duck Dynasty", lol) I held off mentioning Jodi, as well as the Aurora assassin because I've actually covered them in a yet unpublished blog I'm working on making humorous. I'm still cutting it down in length and adding sarcasm along the way, so I don't know if they'll make the final cut or not. Depends what jokes I can come up about both. Many Thanks!

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  6. Rich, you know what I like about your writing? It's FUNNY and INTERESTING. That's why I keep reading it. It doesn't matter to me if you ramble because almost always you manage to put a smile on my face and tell me something interesting or something I didn't know. So keep doing what you're doing...when you can! 11 Hours a day doesn't sound like a joke. I hope you're taking lunch... :P

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    1. Melanie - Really good of you to visit my humble writing abode, as always! Your kind words are humbling, believe me. I try to lighten one's load when I write, as it has always been my quest to take one's mind off of their problems with either my jokes onstage or my writings. It's seriously good to see it's working. (I know ... just stay away from attacking recruiters ... right? lol) I just switched jobs (believe it or not) to one that didn't require the hour travel time. We are ten times as busy as the last, and the 9-8 schedule is a killer, especially this next week when it'll be seven days straight. By the time I get home, I end up eating the evening meal, and more times than not, falling asleep in my computer chair while trying to read a few blogs. My wife has decided that leaving me there, instead of waking me up, will stop me from doing that. So, I wake up, four hours later, with a twisted neck and headache, and go to bed for a couple of hours before starting it all over again. Writing time is hard to find, and my mind is so tired it has a hard time getting going. Yet, when it does, it doesn't know when to shut down and end the damn piece. lol I keep telling myself, "It's only a matter of adjusting." lol I think I'm just getting old! : ) Lunch? Oh yeah, that's when I sneak a salami and cheese sandwich on wheat (w/ horseradish) in between customers. lol Many thanks!

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  7. Rambling? Well, you read my blog post for today, so you KNOW I appreciate a good ramble. :) Your comment over there was awesome, by the way. Definitely made me smile.
    And um, let's see...so many things were going through my mind as I read. Actually I love your "cerebral" pieces as well as your humorous pieces. It's blogs like this that make blogging so fun. Not to mention unpredictable. I love it.
    And TV? Oh god. TV is like Facebook in some ways: man, if you pay too much attention to it, you'll go nuts. I prefer working in silence or with soothing music most days and unless my husband turns on the TV - because, you know, I'm over here hogging the computer - I don't hear or watch too much.
    Oh and the Pope thing. I grew up Catholic, am now recovering, but even when I was a good little Catholic (perhaps before I became too much of a thinker...they don't like thinkers, apparently) I could never understand why they always said the Pope was infallible. Dude. He's a dude. He pees and poops like the rest of us. And, like you said, chosen by a bunch of stuffy men in some far off land. I mean, I can respect the guy and all, but infallible? If that's the case, I appoint myself a Goddess.

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    1. Hello, Goddess! lol I bow to you and all your rambling! Seems like we are on the same wavelength today. I'm considering making it a weekly feature as it allows so many avenues to travel. Talk about hogging the computer ... my wife doesn't even know how to use one. I'm sure she'd sell my laptops and PC if anything were to happen to me. Mine is set up with the TV to my left, so anything she watches while I'm online or writing is right there. Lo and behold ... the lecturer of idiots speaks its words of stupidity 24/7. lol I was born Catholic. Could never understand what they were saying and used the time to mostly sleep. I used to use a joke onstage about my religious experiences ... "Was born Catholic, saved by the Baptists, and fine tuned by the Pentecostal Holiness ... made having a drinking problem easy! I could go out and get totally drunk without feeling guilty about it until the next day when I could repent by speaking in a tongue no one could understand!" I'm sure God loved that one! lol Glad you enjoyed! Many Thanks!

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  8. OK...where to begin...1) I thought "old" was a state of mind?? 2) It didn't matter what a "Ramblin' Rose" was because Nat King Cole was singing it. He could sing about taking out the trash, and it would sound great. 3) I could really care less about most of those news items, except for the Steubenville one, which makes me sick to my stomach in every way, shape and form. 4) I remember those shows! So, therefore, I must be old like you! ;)

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    1. Rachel - So very nice of you to stop by! Old IS a state of mind ... I just lost most of mind in the late 60's and early 70's drug cult experimentation. lol I agree that Nat could sing. He left this world much too early. I tend to look at things a little differently in the news world. The Steubenville incident is not just the fault of the kids (male or female). It is the fault of parents that don't teach their kids right from wrong and allow them to be present for such activities. I also blame the town for creating a subculture that protected the football players, simply because they were football players. When morals are cast aside for sporting events, then the society is indeed in need of the shame it receives. Now, now ... there's a difference in watching the shows when they were first broadcast and when they were repeated in syndication. You're not old, as you have a daughter to keep you young. I only have grandkids to remind me how old I'm really getting. lol Many thanks!

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  9. Okay, first and foremost, I love your writing and will either suffer though the long ones or skip ahead. Kidding, but not really. Because I will keep coming here no matter what. You're an amazing writer and I feel so lucky that we've found one another's blogs. I don't always comment (sorry but you know how this goes), and I'm sure I miss posts of yours but EVERY ONE I READ is awesome. So, there's that.

    With that said. When I read each of your number 1 to 5? (and this could be jealousy coming out because I sit at my computer thinking WTFamIgonnaWRITE all the F'time), I think each of those are amazing blogposts on their own.

    So I'm reading along and BOOM! there's the Pope question of why men are choosing him?!@@?@?! HOLY HELL a total topic, one worth discussing even though I'm not Catholic, all alone. Because why thefk indeed?!??

    SAME BOOM for numbers 2, 3 4 and...okay 5, could probably be tagged on something else...

    And here, I go making the longest comment in history or maybe sort of just history at 12:02am...but really. YOU ARE AMAZING. F'real.

    'Nite.

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  10. OOPH you can tell it's 12:03am now by the amount of typos in that comment but still. You get what I'm talkin' 'bout...

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    1. Kristi - I'm so glad you stopped in, even if it is past your bedtime! Your comments are somewhat humbling. I've never considered myself to be as you describe. I simply try to relate ideas and bring about a smile or two in the journey. I learned long ago that ego can kill, so I keep mine in check and face each posting as if I'd never written one before, and must make it live up to an expected standard. I'm truly happy to have you as a reader as I respect your posts and efforts, and always enjoy myself there. I would say that I developed looking at news items and finding them ridiculous during my stand-up comedy career. If one reads through the muck, one can usually only say f**k. The news agencies fill the articles with so much bull it's beyond belief. Just take two steps back, ask yourself what's really being said, and then question it. Most of it doesn't make sense, so that's when you come up with your own analysis. The news is never ending, so there's always material there. lol Keep coming back and commenting ... I love it ... even the typos! :) Many Thanks!

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  11. First off, I assume when you said you were long-winded, you were talking about writing, but since you then referenced old age, it sent my brain right back to farts. It appears as if you somewhat cleared that up for me. I'm a little disappointed in the answer, though.

    As for long-winded or not, write what you want. If you enjoy it, then write it. I'm not sure what your goal is for writing this blog, but if it's just to have a release and enjoy yourself, then isn't that what you're doing, even with a longer post? Don't beat yourself up over it.

    And you know with a name like Francis, the new pope got a ton of wedgies when he was a kid. I bet that's why he wants to be the pope; so he can wear a robe and non-restricting pants.

    LOVED the questioning of news items. I think more of those would serve you well. They are timely, and easy to read, but they're witty too. I think people like that kind of stuff, or at least I like that kind of stuff, and isn't that all that really matters?

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    1. Lisa - Nice to see you visit here. As you get to know me a little, you'll see the method behind the madness. At times, I use humor as a face front slam, and others, like this one, I slide it in occasionally, almost as an afterthought. Six years of headlining the stand-up comedy circuit throughout the U.S. created a means of reaching the audience, so each felt I was talking individually to them. That is the attempt here most of the time. I market myself minimally, but still tend to get quite a few views ... at least enough to continue. lol

      I've used news items for many years as quick hitters for those that don't get the sarcasm at times. When I did a weekly newscast in the form of a Southern Hillbilly on Hubpages, it was actually quite popular. So, from time to time, I go back to it. Many seem to enjoy them almost as much as I enjoy making fun of the articles.

      The purpose of this blog is not a singular one. At times, I wish to alleviate the audience of thinking about their woes, so I take them on a somewhat humorous journey. Other times, I delve into the cerebral realms and try to spur them to consider questions about themselves and debate the answers. Other times, I write simply because I feel like writing. Some would like me to be hemmed into a niche. As a creative writer, I refuse to do that. Even some of the comments above lean towards appreciating that.

      I'm not trying to be a star in the blogging world. I had my time in the spotlight, enjoyed it, and am glad it's over. I just wish to be creative and have my work somewhat enjoyed by those that really read it, instead of the regular act of scanning and moving on.

      I loved reading your work, and do hoped you enjoyed this piece of mine. The next promises to be very much on the dark side, so little humor will be found. Perhaps the madness, and the number of topics I cover, is what keeps some people coming back. I do hope you're one of them! : ) Many thanks!

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  12. This is some funny rambling. :) I think maybe you should make it a regular feature here! As for the posts that are too long...maybe you could split them up into several parts or "episodes."
    Thanks for the morning laugh!

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    1. Amy - Really glad you stopped in again! I'm thinking about doing it every Tuesday. I'm really surprised at the number of views and comments it has received. Plus, it's a lot of fun to do! lol I'm really debating about a "series" type of blog topic. Part of my draw is that people never know exactly what they're going to find when they get here. Sometimes they like it, and sometimes they don't, but they come back time and time again. I've had so many people get on me about marketing it better ... and I know I should ... but, as ridiculous as it sounds, I'd rather write than market. It's growing slowly, and isn't the super blog that many have, but the growth is consistent. I think I'd rather have a select few read it that really enjoy it, than a bunch that never visit or truly read what's being said. Duhhhh! How did I ever get started on that topic? Rambling again, I guess! lol Many Thanks!

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  13. I can be a big rambler too, especially with emails. And if it's someone I haven't connected with in a while, watch out. I'll ramble so long they'll wish they never contacted me...I thought YOUR ramblings were great though -- keep at it!

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    1. So sorry I missed your comment last week! Rambling tends to be an acquired trait as one grows older. It simply says, "Hey, if they'll listen, why not?" lol It's fun to do, though, and it's actually how I used to get my jokes for my stand-up routine years ago. I always figured, "If you talk long enough, something funny is bound to come out!" Many Thanks!

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  14. I enjoyed your ramblings fo' sho'. The news...makes me roll my eyes on a daily basis, lol.
    Your ramblings always make me smile...and yes: being a blogger has that fine balance between "sum and substance" - too much, they won't read, too little, you go unnoticed...it's a predicament for sure, lol.

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    1. Cyndi - Wow! I can see my RSS Feed isn't working again and listing the oldies but goodies selections of the past. lol Glad you enjoyed this one. For a change of pace, check out my "Attack of the Killer Zombie Twinkies" I just published this week. It's a little different, to say the least. Many Thanks!

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