Friday, March 8, 2013

FTSF: Wondering About Wonder Woman?

pop culture geek
A couple of weeks ago, I started talking about Superman, his possible late night acts, and his super sperm.  

Actually, I did more than start talking.  I carried the conversation on for quite some time.  Many appreciated it.  Some did not.

I expected that.

I've never been one to shy away from a topic.  That's why, when I started thinking about Wonder Woman, I decided that she might well follow suit.  

In the comic book years, Wonder Woman was one of the hottest heroines gracing the pages of monthly publications.  Her battles with her golden lasso (which could make anyone her slave) and her invisible robot plane were epics.

But, they did start thoughts brewing that never entered my head as a child.  

Never would have guessed that, would you?

What would you do if all you had to do would be to lasso someone and get them to do your bidding?  Would you lasso:
  1. a porn star and have passionate lovemaking episodes and instructional education sessions?
  2. a political figure and have them use their leverage to vote the way you wanted in Congress?
  3. a record company CEO and force them to produce some decent music for a change?
  4. a banker and have them transfer funds from a major business into a cash deposit to your account?
  5. a McDonald's cashier and try to teach them not only how to count change, but to have some manners?
  6. a Walmart employee and see just how low the IQ really is?
  7. a school bus driver and force them to make the kids walk faster than .000045 mph when loading and unloading?
  8. a rap star and find out if they really talk that way, or if they're just ignorant?
  9. a TV infomercial salesperson and force them to use whatever product they're pushing?
  10. a Taco Bell supplier to see just how bad the quality of meat is used in their beef burritos and tacos?
And, when I started debating about why a person would ever want an invisible plane, it suddenly hit me that Wonder Woman came from the land of Amazons.

(No, not those folks working in distribution centers for $12 an hour gathering up your mass quantities of batteries for muscle relaxers and weight reduction devices, but real Amazons!)

Original TV Wonder Woman
Linda Carter
(Photo Public Domain)
Being from the land of only women, there would be no need for the mile high club membership.  Or, would there?  

And, going to the bathroom would definitely be something to remember.  Sitting there, People Magazine in hand, enjoying the warmth of a noonday sun, all the while searching for the invisible toilet paper in desperation.  And, since the plane and toilet would be invisible, what about the waste product?  If another plane came by later, would the radio waves be filled with reports of Wonder Woman being chased by a pile of ... well, you know.  No need to be any more graphic.  

"This is Flight 583, Dallas to Chicago, to the tower.  Hey, did you guys just see what I saw!  There was this great looking babe, flying through the air like she was sitting down, and about twenty feet behind her was this enormous pile of brown ... well brown matter chasing her!  It didn't seem to be gaining, but it was staying right on her ass!"

I guess she could use her bracelets to deflect it.  No, that's a visual I'm going to forget.

Okay, it's FTSF again.  Time to finish the statement provided by the hostesses:

This week's partial sentence (prompt) is:  "I tried to cook...."

I wonder if Wonder Woman cooked, or if she just ate out all the time.  I remember she sometimes went on dates with her military boyfriend, but I don't ever remember her eating anything.  Of course, if she never ate anything, that would take care of the bathroom problem on the invisible plane.  Nothing in ... Nothing out!

Anyway, let's get to finishing the sentence.  I'm afraid if I don't, I'll get kicked out of this blog hop.  

I really look nothing like this.
Or, would I be hopped out of the hop?  

If Wonder Woman saw me hopping, would she say, "Look at that guy hopping."  

Or, would she, being older now and probably needing glasses, say, "Yep, it's almost Easter.  There goes Peter Cottontail ... hopping down the bunny trail ... hippity hoppity Easter's on its way!"

I wonder if Wonder Woman eats Easter eggs?

Enough procrastinating.  Let's finish the sentence!

"I tried to cook from the time I left home and found that it wasn't too difficult!"

What?  Not too difficult!  What type of an ass is this guy?

Actually, it was a matter of survival.  I found out quickly that if the money wasn't there, you had to pay attention to what you were cooking or you were going to eat some really lousy food!  And, since I loved food, it only made sense to do my best to make it taste halfway decent!

Besides barbecuing, my first real attempt at cooking came when I left home and got my own apartment right after high school.  I still remember ... it was Lasagna Hamburger Helper.

Perhaps, having a mother that was a tremendous Italian cook helped me out somewhat.  I'd spent a lot of time with her in the kitchen while growing up.  I still remember eating breakfast while watching her cooking treats such a Veal or Eggplant Parmigiana, huge homemade meatballs and spaghetti sauce for the evening's dinner plate.  

There wasn't anything she couldn't cook.  I'm still hoping to get my hands on her cookbook one day, but for now, my father won't let it out of his possession.  

Anyway, the Lasagna Hamburger Helper came out well.  I ate half of it, and put the pan in the fridge with the rest for the next night.  When the time came, I added a little water, warmed it back up, and enjoyed.
At one time this was "Yum Yum."
My, how times change!

Cooking was never a problem.  It was doing the dishes that came difficult.  

I knew that the leftovers would come out of the pan a little easier if I soaked it.  So, I put some soap liquid in the sink half filled with water, and stuck the pan in.  

That was the plan for over two weeks.  It was then that I had added enough water and soap to have filled up the sink ... oh, and the pans from other meals were just added to the first.

I had good intentions.  I just hated the thought of doing dishes.

Now Marge was a Godsend.   Who was Marge?  Well, she was probably as close to a soul mate as I could've had.  She was absolutely gorgeous in all aspects and had a brain that would put most to shame.  (I guess opposites do attract, lol)  In high school, even though she was a couple of years younger than I, she stood out among those that didn't care about popularity as most did.  She was going to do "her" thing no matter. 

After breaking up with a girl I'd been engaged to marry, I'd decided to give her a call.  She told me later that she'd freaked when I called, as I had been one of the "popular crowd" in high school.  Funny, I'd never even looked at it that way.  I just thought it was the right thing to do to know and talk to everyone, regardless of cliques.

So, Marge decided that for our second date, she was going to fix me a home cooked meal ... at my apartment!  I picked her up, helped load up the bags of food she'd purchased, and drove to my place.  I must admit, there was several types of cooking I was envisioning for the evening's activities.
How did they ever get a picture of my sink in 1973?

Upon opening the door, Marge's face suddenly twisted up.  

"What's that smell?"

I responded with a simple, "What smell?"

She walked over to the sink, used a fork to stir things around, and asked me how long the dishes had been soaking there.

"Only a week or two" was my innocent response.

That was when Marge became the woman of my dreams.

Into the murky depths, she plunged her hand, pulled out the drain plug, and emptied the sink of the water I had shied away from.  She stacked all the dirty dishes on the counter, cleaned the sink with Ajax cleanser, and then proceeded to do my two weeks worth of dishes.


So, her selection wasn't quite
as expected ... she was still hot!
Actually, she looked a lot like her in all regards.  I know it sounds really sexist, but she really looked hot doing those dishes.  

God, I'm starting to sound like Al Bundy!

So ... what did she cook for her home cooked meal?

Beef Stroganoff Hamburger Helper!

And, she actually cooked it too long as it was somewhat dry.  Oh well, she looked good doing it.

Just in case you're wondering, we didn't do anything that evening except for some heavy petting.  Even after inhaling some of the natural herb of the time, she didn't sway from her decision.  Nor, in the months to follow did we do anything besides more of the same.  

Marge was of the belief she was going to save herself for her husband.  Back in the early 70's, some maintained that belief.  Even amidst the era of "free love", there were those with some morals.  This was unfortunate for teenage boys, but accepted if you liked the girl enough.

A few years later, after I had served my country in the military, I returned to find Marge still waiting.  She had truly waited.  It was a tremendous homecoming.

I didn't even need a sink of dirty dishes!

Unfortunately, her and I were like train tracks ... we belonged together, loved being connected side by side, but the times never let us come together to become a "church" married couple.  There always seemed to be complications that kept us apart.  Finally, I took  a job in radio that was 600 miles away ... and she couldn't work things out to move with me.  We were over.

My current wife (and Wonder Woman) of 33 years knows all about her.  I've been honest with her as Marge will always hold a piece of my heart.  I haven't seen her in over 35 years, but I still remember her with the same love I felt all those years ago.

It took one hell of a woman to pull that drain plug the first night.  I hope her husband, whoever he may be, appreciates her the way she deserves.

I know I still do.


  1. Ahhhh that's such a sweet story and great Wonder Woman links. I would definitely lasso David Cameron and force him to start listening to the public (whom the government supposedly serve) rather than ignoring the masses...

    1. Considerer - Good to see you again! I can think of many that I'd like to lasso just to have them admit in public that they really care less about the ones they represent. Perhaps, if the lasso encircled the Capitol Dome, all inside would be affected. Then, we could have each one present a bill to impeach the one to their left, and vote accordingly! But not before repealing the bills that gave them lifetime benefits and such. (No, I'm not a fan of our current state of the union either, lol) Glad you enjoyed! Many Thanks!

  2. Wonder Woman! Such a different time... the only problem with growing up when I did, and I suspect it is the same with everyone, given a sufficient time span, is that the reality does not translate into current standards. There are such differences in the world today and the world when I was of the age to appreciate WW, as god intended (lol).
    But there is a false belief, one that I suspect we are all subject to, that would have me believe that it is important and necessary to convey the differences in the world that I grew up in and the world today's young(er) people are growing up in.
    As always, when confronted with such a conundrum, I fall back on the Doctrine, which reminds me that 'everyone does everything, at one time or another'. This, of course, reminds me that we all go through essentially the same experiences in life, it is our individual experience/response/reaction that makes life interesting.
    ...having said that, there was Super Girl. Certainly more wholesome (and much much more *costumed* than Wonder Woman), sort of like the 1960's comic book MaryAnn compared to Ginger.*
    Great Post, as par usualle, amigo!

    *god, were they out to deliberately mess with the fragile psyches of our generation??!

    1. Clark, my friend, good to see you! Yes, Wonder Woman was of a different time, for sure. I think the editors of DC Comics just wanted to see how far they could go with her costuming, which, as I'm sure you remember, wasn't quite as risque as the pictures shown. The one character that was really hot, if you remember, was the Black Canary, from the alternate DC Universe Flash comic series. Something about a voluptuous blonde in black with fishnets ... anyway, Supergirl was too much of a goody two shoes for me. Speaking of Gilligan's Island, didn't you find it strange that the only two in a "normal" hetero relationship were Jim Backus and wife? The skipper, Gilligan, and the professor bunked together, as did Mary Ann and Ginger. Sounds like there were some closet doors opening in the 60's that people refused to see! lol Appreciate the comments and the read, sir! Many Thanks!

  3. Rich, I first thought that you were going to cook a "lasagna hamburger" when I read that line. Man, that sounds good! Was interesting reading about Marge - I can't believe any woman would have stuck her hand in that water! I wouldn't have. I tell you, it would have been take-aways right then and there, LOL. Great post :) Happy weekend!

    1. Melanie - Only my wine drinking/pastry eating friend from the bottom of the world would come up with a Lasagna Hamburger! lol I love it! :) Marge was a small town girl with several younger brothers and sisters, so I'm sure she wasn't shy about things. In fact, I know she wasn't. She was as close to the perfect woman as one could get, at least in my mind. I guess that's why we ended. Perfection is only in the mind of the beholder. Glad you enjoyed! Many Thanks!

  4. Rich, you never disappoint. The twists and turns your posts take always surprise me.
    I'm laughing terribly hard about the hamburger helper business. My stepdad loved those meals, so we had to eat them about once a week. Oh, how I dislike those things!
    Marge truly was a different breed. I would never have stuck my hand in that sink on a second date! I would have been out the door.
    Part of me wants to be sad for you and Marge, but it seems you and your wife are a great couple. I am happy for the two of you. Ah, mixed emotions...

    1. Chr...oops, In The Coop - I try to keep things interesting and not too predictable. I believe it may keep a few from just scanning. lol My life has been hexed by Hamburger Helper as even my wife cooked it a couple of times a week when we first married. I can't tell you how much I despise it! lol Don't be sad, as I'm sure Marge had to find the perfect man and have a great life. At least, that's what I want to believe. I could tell you a tale of her and I going ice fishing and finding the crickets we'd purchased roasted by my VW's heater. lol So many good times we shared, yet, so much drama as it seemed when one loved and was ready to commit, the other wasn't. Back and forth it went. Much heartache, but still, a love that was deep enough to keep forever. Glad you like this piece! Many Thanks!

  5. Wonder Woman indeed, because Rich there would be no way in hell that I would put my hands anywhere near that and I have dealt with a lot with two kids vomiting, pooping and so much more. Great story and glad you can still look back on that fondly. Thanks for linking up with us as always!! :)

    1. Janine - Thanks for stopping in, as always! Now, now, now, you know that if you'd have been in that position with your future hubby you would have done the same thing! lol It really wasn't as bad as the photo ... close ... but not quite that bad! lol Good to be here, my friend. Always happy to see you and the others that participate! Many Thanks!

  6. You seem like a stream of consciousness kinda guy, but then you take those seemingly random thoughts and pull them all together - well done!

    1. Dana - So good of you to visit! I thought you were going to say, "Stream of defecation...." lol I have to do it in a post, because if I try verbally achieving it, people get lost in the first or second inning. : ) Being honest, I really don't have a plan when I start to write, only an idea. Sometimes it blossoms and sometimes it dies. That's when I start over. :) Thanks for your kind words! Greatly appreciated!

  7. What an epic post! And lasso? I'd SO lasso a banker...from Wall Street. He so deserves it. I'd make him give me half his money. HAHAHA.
    Anyways, Wonder Woman...I think it's *perfect* you included her on this international Women's Day. :D

    1. Cyndi - Hello my soon to be so famous she'll forget her friends friend! lol You've just freaked me out! "Epic" and "I" don't quite go together! lol Why only half of his money? I'm sure he's not that kind when it comes to raping all of us of our investments! :) Only leave him his underwear, because who wants to see what's lying underneath it? lol Glad you appreciated this attempt to make one smile a while. Many Thanks!

  8. I was SO not a Marge when I discovered that my boyfriend (now husband) refrigerator really had guts. I couldn't clean it, not while I was establishing a relationship. What is it with the pans in the fridge? Is it a guy thing? I always take everything out of the pan and put it in something else. But he will make room for pots and pans to this day. He'll also ask me, "Do we have anymore of the such and such" that I threw out over a week ago. Anyway, as for that early on, I never had to play Wonder Woman. He moved to a new apartment, I managed to not be involved it the moving but I did keep his new refrigerator clean.

    1. Kenya - So good to see you again! Frankly, she surprised even me. I knew I was going to have to do something one day, but I had no idea she would be so brave! lol You must remember that this took place in the early 70's. Tupperware/plastic ware wasn't a common piece of dishware in teenage boys apartments, so pans with a piece of tin foil sufficed. Nowadays, I do use plastic containers to store food in ... and leave the dirty pans in the sink for my wife to wash! lol Some things never change. :) Many Thanks!

  9. So funny! I hate washing dishes--so I could relate to the week or two line--time to break out my golden lasso!

    1. Audrey - Really good of you to visit! I do wash dishes occasionally, but since I hurt my back a few years ago, the leaning over the sink really puts a strain on it. By the time I'm done, I can barely stand up straight as it is cramping so badly. I just wish I'd have had that excuse way back when. lol In other words, please don't aim the golden lasso my direction! : ) Many Thanks!

  10. I was questioning your judgment for a minute there LOL. When you first mentioned Marge, since you were talking about dirty dishes, I automatically read it as Madge. Madge, gorgeous?!? I was thinking of the actress in the old Palmolive commercials. :)

    1. Chris - OMG, I've worn glasses for decades, but even so, I could tell you that Madge didn't hold a candle to Marge! lol She really was a hidden beauty. I ended up taking her to her senior prom, and the formal she wore did a great job of amplifying her assets. Needless to say, it was a type of coming out party. The eyes were all on her and I that night. Made me feel like a rock star! lol Seriously, she was so much more than looks ... oh, well. Better stop before my wife starts after the pistol. :) Many thanks!

  11. Clearly Wonder Woman lasso'd that complete dick Gordon Ramsey and made him say nice things while he cooked for her.


    1. Wily Guy - That had to be the case. Either that, or she promised him a date with the ghost of Julia Childs! Many Thanks!

  12. Wow, that story was not what I sure know how to hook us and take us for a ride! So, the way i see it, Wonder Woman #1 was your first love and I get it -- not too many people would do 2 weeks of dirty dishes. My first love and I re-connected after a very long time (which is also a very long and sad story - you'll have to read my memoir to hear about it) but the one thing I recall from our youthful days of romance is that we never cooked anything together, except for maybe some slice and bake cookies. Turns out, when we reconnected as adults, we discovered that neither one of us could really cook, but luckily we both married people who loved to cook...I'm glad you found your true Wonder Woman. :)

    1. Emily - How are you my friend? I understand you and Gabriela have been going out and drinking a little! lol You know by now I have no idea where the story's going until it's finished. lol Sometimes, I'm as surprised as the readers where it ends up! Actually, Marge was my second love. I dated a girl in high school for almost three years, got engaged, and found that she was lonely walking the high school halls alone. So, she dumped me. I was devastated. I'd seen Marge at a dance and wondered who she was, but since she was part of another crowd, kind of passed on her. For some reason, she came to mind when the break up came, so, I gave her a call. It was long distance to talk to her on the phone, and here's the good part. In 1973, a month's rent for my apartment was $125. My one month phone bill in talking to her was $142.71. (I'll never forget it!) Yeah, she had me hooked. And still, there are times I wonder what it would have been like if things had worked out. Funny thing was, about a year ago, WW#1 connected with me on Facebook. Said she'd made a lot of mistakes and breaking up with me was one of them. It was then I realized she hadn't meant as much to me as Marge had ... not even close. Life is indeed strange! Btw, if you don't like to cook, how are you at doing dishes? lol Many Thanks!

  13. If I had a magic lasso, I would use it to make my body look like that woman's in the photo AND ensure I could eat whatever I wanted while still maintaing said body.

    No. Doubt. About. It.

    1. Lisa - So good to see you here! I gave up worrying about my figure years ago. Now, it's all about eating healthy (he says after just having gulped down a quart of combination fried rice). Life is too short to wish for someone else's body ... although guys do it constantly ... in a different sense, that is. Anytime I want to feel good about myself, I just go to Walmart and see how bad some of those folks really look, and I feel great!!! lol Try it! Many thanks!

  14. Aww, that's a sweet story. I wouldn't have stuck my hand in that nasty sink. I am no Wonder Woman. LOL!

    1. Kate - Good to see you again! I really do have to give her credit ... as it had started to smell a little bit. Or, maybe, it had started to smell a lot and I hadn't noticed it as I kept the incense going pretty routinely back then. lol I bet you're stronger than you think you are. To me, changing diapers is the worst thing a person can do. I'm not looking forward to getting much older and going through it again! lol Many Thanks!

  15. Wonder Woman and Hamburger Helper! Man, you are taking me back (as well as the natural herb that you mentioned). All you needed to do was add Shake and Bake to the list and it would have been complete! I love how you always turn these prompts on their ear. You're a fresh one, you are!

    1. Rachel - Really good to see you this week! I actually had an aunt that made her own Shake and Bake out of potato chips. Talk about making chicken a calorie filled meal! Add fried green tomatoes for a vegetable, and the cardiac arrest is just around the corner! lol I do try to be a little different, but sometimes I don't have to try real hard! :) I just do my best to prove that the mind is a terrible thing to waste ... and waste ... and waste. Many Thanks!

  16. So, I never thought I'd "meet" anyone more random than I. I love it! I doubt I'd have stuck anything in your sink. I would have made the Hubs do it (after all, he comes to my cooking rescue a lot)!

    Wonder Woman probably did eat, but she probably ate at those crazy expensive health-nut stops. She's got to keep an eye on her figure and keep up her muscle tone, so...I'll be she's a fan of protein shakes, too ;)

    Glad you linked up with us again this week. I look forward to your comments each week!!

    1. Oh, and your posts, too...but I always laugh at your comments on my blog ;)

    2. Dawn - It's so good of you to stop by my humble abode! :) I seriously never have a plan when I start these posts. They just happen. So, "random" is as good as word (if not better) than what most call them! lol If Wonder Woman was around today, it would be my bet she'd be addicted to 5 hour energy drinks. Then, she could look outside the window of her invisible plane and laughingly say, "So the Capitol lawn needed watering, huh?" lol Thank you so much for your kind words. Greatly appreciated!

  17. My dad has the biggest crush on Wonder Woman to this day. I guess she's hot. And, well, the super powers don't hurt, either...but now I wonder if she eats Easter eggs. Thanks for that. Hopefully I won't be up all night now...
    And such a sweet story about Marge! Oh, and beef stroganoff Hamburger Helper ROCKS. It's been years since I've had it, but YUM.
    Fun post. As always.

    1. Kristi - Deja Vu! Gabriela told me you'd been around ... talking bad about me! lol I always thought Linda Carter looked somewhat stiff in playing the role. Oh, ask your dad if he ever saw her in the movie, "Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw". Linda did a topless scene (in a hot springs pool). If he smiles, you know he saw it, regardless of what he says. lol
      Funny how this post has me thinking of Marge again. Yet, I'm thinking of her and how she looked in 1978, the last time I saw her. I'm sure she'd think of me in the same way. Both of us would probably be sorry if we'd see each other now. lol Especially if gravity has worked on her in the same way it has worked on my wife. lol OMG, you actually like Hamburger Helper? Kristi, and I'd thought so highly of you! :) Glad you enjoyed! Many Thanks!

  18. Hi Rich, that was a lovely story and so right for Woman's Day! It's nice to know men can actually remain fond of a particular woman for 30 odd years! And I do think that each and every one of us is a Wonder Woman at something! (Sometimes hard to discover, but the something should be there somewhere!) By tha way, how is Gabriela? Give her a pat from me please! See you!

    1. Joan - So very good to see you! Men aren't as "heartless" as most women think. We just hide it a little better at times. lol I think most of us have someone in our past that won't leave our hearts and always makes us wonder, "What if?" Still, as we can't live in the past, we move onward. I agree that all women are Wonder Woman in some manner. Yet, some tend to do wonders, and others just make you wonder. lol Oh, and Gabriela is smiling smugly at your comment. Do you two have some sort of secret going on? :) Many thanks!

  19. Oh, no, the dishes! That is awesome! I remember the Hamburger Helper days of my college years. You know, that stuff isn't half bad! I had a hard time getting past the costume. Swear to God, I had that exact same costume for Halloween when I was about 23. Ah, the good old days. Too much?

    1. Stephanie - Really good to see you again! Yes, she did the dirty deed, and I have to give her credit for it. It's amazing how little acts of bravery are always remembered. lol I will admit to having eaten HH many times in my life. Mostly, either because it was a cheap meal, or because I was so stoned the box would have tasted good. lol I do believe you had that costume, and probably served it well. I also remember the days when I looked good in a bathing suit, however, those days are long gone for me. :) Nowadays, the best I look in one is when it's covered up by a super large T-Shirt! lol Glad you enjoyed this. Many Thanks!