Monday, January 14, 2013

Reality Television: "This is Reality?"


“Reality Television”

Those two words can spark many emotions in most television viewers.

(Please, if you need to upchuck, feel free to take a break and do it now.  It only gets worse.)

Since "COPS" hit the scene in the early 80's, reality television has blossomed.  There's something about stupid people watching stupid people that appeals to stupid people.  And, for those that don't consider themselves stupid people for watching stupid people, these shows provide a feeling of superiority to stupid people, as they watch these shows religiously.


Stupid people!

I've decided to save you the trouble of rating some of the most popular reality television offerings and provide a small synopsis on several of the most popular, as well as some of the newest offerings.  Many of these shows are geared to guys, or simply called "Guy Shows."  

So, if you're a female reading this, you'll be able to talk to your boyfriend or husband and communicate in a language he'll understand.  (Generally, it's know as "Bubba-eze.")



Ice Road Truckers

This show has been on for several years, and has yet to have one of its participants die or fall through the icy rivers or ocean over which they drive their eighteen wheelers.  


Whatta bummer!


Men love this show and watch it in hopes of seeing someone go through the ice, much in the same way they watch auto racing for the wrecks.  This show is so popular that they've even taken versions of it to Asia and South America to travel other types of "Death Roads."  

Still, no one has been killed!  As long as cameramen ride in the cabs with the truckers they film, chances are slim to none that anyone will be.  So, why watch it?



Gator Boys

This show is just beginning its second season.  Two guys that catch alligators, first in Florida, and now in Mississippi, week after week after week.  Upon occasion, they throw in a capture of a venomous reptile or some type of carnivorous lizard, but mostly it's alligators.

Upon occasion, one of the two will get nipped, but as reality TV series go, still nothing major has happened to either of them.  If you like watching the same thing week after week, then this might be just the show for you.



BBQ Pitmasters

Again, this show has made it into a second season ... somehow.  


Three judges force three to four contestants to barbecue either beef, chicken, or pork selections.  You watch as they prepare, cook, and present their end products to the judges, who mercilessly grade the offerings on appearance, texture, and taste.  In the end, a winner is chosen.


ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz



Finding Bigfoot

Four individual travel the United States hunting Bigfoot.

Still haven't found him.  Don't expect them to.  If there were as many Bigfoots as they'd like you to believe, they'd have a representative in Obama's cabinet.

Although in thinking back, Dick Cheney did bear a hearty resemblance to many of the drawings!


U.S. Of Bacon

Fat guy (Todd Fisher) goes around the United States showing you all the bacon specialties that are available for anyone wanting to commit suicide by grease and cholesterol poisoning. 

Host looks as though he could die at any minute as he devours these tasty tidbits that tantalize the taste buds of the soon to be CCU patients.  

I do have to admit, after watching this show one night, my wife and I went through an entire pound of thick sliced Applewood Bacon in making BLT's the next afternoon.  We're still recovering!


Yum! Yum!  
(Yes, Help Alert ... I've got chest pains!)



Duck Dynasty

Redneck family in Louisiana has become millionaires with their duck call business.  

How many people that you know have bought a duck call?  Yep, another fantasy show!

Scripted show takes you through the life of these rednecks as they enjoy the everyday facets of life for those that don’t really have to worry about money, but act like they do.  Oldest son runs the business, middle and youngest sons work there making duck calls with their Vietnam War veteran uncle, as their mother and father deal with the grandkids.  

In the end of each show, they all sit down at the table and eat as the show's family lesson learned is discussed.


Happy, Happy!




Rattlesnake Republic

One of the few shows on television that depict conservation measures as unrealistic.  Groups of “rattlesnake hunters” go out weekly hunting rattlesnakes, that will be killed, skinned, and portrayed as serving no purpose in the ecological chain.  

Australia did this once and found themselves plagued with mice infestations until the snake population recovered.

Oh well, “Mouse Hunters” is on the future schedule anyway!

This is one of the few shows in which a cast member has been seriously injured.  Jackie Bibby (shown at right) was bitten in the leg on September 12, 2012, and unfortunately, had to have it amputated just below the knee as necrosis set in.  

Oops!


*****************

And that is my offering of reality television programming.  I have omitted many, simply because most recognize they have absolutely no value, or because they are rip-offs of previous shows set somewhere else (hence Cops and North Woods Law).  

No, I don't spend my time watching these week after week, for the most part.  However, they do provide noise as I find myself writing hubs or blogs or whatever, and occasionally draw my attention.

It is your choice as to enjoy these programs as you rest any brainwaves that may be seeking exercise, or to ignore them and pick up a good book.


I wonder if “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” is out in paperback version yet?


29 comments:

  1. Lol, and this is why I don't watch reality TV, because I could care less who is going to hurt themselves when or eat enough food for three people. I have enough of that between my kids and husband to last me a lifetime!!!

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    1. Janine - I'm totally with you. My wife and I will generally only view any of these programs as a last resort. She will start to get sleepy, and I will continue to computer surf or write while they're on. I'm just shocked at the continuous flow of new programs they're coming up with. I guess the zombie intellect is on the rise! Why think if you don't want to seems to be the "in" thing. lol Many Thanks!

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  2. the growing pre-dominance of shows like the ones you list is the primary reason I don't watch TV much anymore, Rich.
    ..I just marvel at the (implied) size of audience of people who these show have an appeal to!

    Thanks for the reminder that 'there's nothing on TV' lol

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    1. Clark - My late night writing habits are usually accompanied by ignoring these shows as they play out their ridiculous themes. I sometimes let my attention wander to them and then come to grips with reality in a shocked manner that I could even listen to them. Sometimes, infomercials provide greater entertainment value, for sure. Many Thanks!

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  3. I do love "Swamp People" and I have to admit that:) lol I tell myself I am learning to catch gators in case of an EMP or such occurrence!

    Very funny Rich! I love your sarcasm!

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    1. Kelly - I left out Swamp People and a few others as I was trying to cover more of the newer selections (I know IRT's has been on forever). I actually had to catch some in the Everglades about ten years ago for tagging purposes. Even the little ones (3-4 feet) are stronger than one would imagine. But Mon Cher, to tawk wit de Louisiana bayou cayon ahkcent ees naut my style ... AAiiieee! : ) Many thanks!

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  4. I have to admit that I loved Duck Dynasty during it's 1st season run; however, the second season (the one currently showing) seems quite scripted and that has turned me off. Not enough to stop watching (blush). I've watched Honey Boo Boo, but mostly it was because I couldn't stop watching. It's like a train wreck and you can't believe that there are people like that in existence. I'm also a huge Survivor fan and I get sucked into all of the Real Housewives, except NY. I guess my life needed drama.

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    1. Gina - My wife loves Duck Dynasty, also. She doesn't get it from me, but I still love her. lol We watched one episode of Honey Ew Ew, but could barely make it through it. It seriously reminded me of some of the folks that lived just North of Gulf Shores, in a small town where we lived for 14 years. Scary, to say the least. Yet, I needed to feel if I was going to make fun of it as often as I do, I needed to watch it once. (What sacrifices we sometimes make!) Never have watched an entire episode of any of the others you mention. In fact, I just increased my Direct TV bill by $4.95 a month to get the MGM & Sony networks, that broadcast their old movies, to keep me from being able to be tempted. lol Many thanks!

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  5. Well I feel superior and awesome because I have never watching any of these. Now excuse me while I go watch the bachelor.

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    1. Julie - You? The Bachelor? OMG!!! I never would've guessed! Run for your life! Honey Ew Ew is just around the corner waiting to addict you! lol Don't let your hubby see this as he may be tempted to start watching some now that football season's almost over. : ) Before you know it, you'll be house hunting double wides! Many Thanks!

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  6. Ok, that guy with the snake in his mouth just made me gag on my lunch...I think I've heard of only one of those shows because my husband has a tremendous fear of alligators (seen a few too many on golf courses down south) so I think he was channel surfing and came across that Gator show -- he called me over to watch it for a few minutes. I made him turn it off b/c I didn't want him to wake me up with screaming nightmares that night. :)

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    1. Emily - Good to see you here! That guy actually set the world's record by holding 13 of them in his mouth by their tails (and people wonder why he got bit). When I volunteered at the Reptile Zoo, I once entered an alligator holding pit area to get an extension cord someone had wrapped around a ceiling beam around two nails. I looked over, and the ten footer was in the corner. After unwrapping some of the cord, I checked again and he was about 15 feet away. As I finished unwrapping it, I looked down to see him about two feet away, easily withing striking distance. I slowly backed away, closed the door behind me, and changed my pants. I'd rather face a snake any day than a monster gator, for sure! I'm with your hubby on that one. Many Thanks!

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  7. Rich, you're forgetting some great; Pawn Stars, Swamp People, or the original, Deadliest Catch. Loved your take on the wealth of good quality programming we're offered round the clock.

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    1. Rachel - Really good of you to stop by! I left those out as I was trying to cover more of the newer offerings, as well as see if anyone would prove their addictions and bring them up! lol I was going to cover one of the gold mining additions that have grown to about five or more, but I really didn't know which were the old or the new (never watched any of them). Besides, Chumley's getting too popular with the ladies now that he's on TV! lol My wife got upset that I didn't include Fatal Encounters, but understood when I told her it was all re-enactments. Plus, I've always hated that show as it's very one sided against the keeping of exotics (which I did for years). Many Thanks!

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  8. Wow - I didn't know about most of these - but my husband would love some of them! (What does that say about him?) Hmmm...don't think I'll mention them...

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    1. Amy - Be wary mentioning these to a guy ... you might be sorry! lol Actually, my wife likes these much more than I do. She actually watches them, while I kind of listen and glance occasionally while working at the computer. After reading this blog, she looks at me and goes, "Well, you have them on so I might as well watch them!" We each have individual remotes, so I say she enjoys them or they'd be changed. : ) Many Thanks!

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  9. Haha...so I read this list to my hubby because I tell you: we FIGHT over the damned TV. I usually just give up and let him have the stupid remote because it's easier...at least he only likes 2 of the shows on here. Though if I let him have his way, it would probably be all of them. Haha.

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    1. Cyndi - Good to see you! My wife and I have individual remotes, but she chooses to watch these instead of changing the channel! To me, they're just noise, but she really gets into them. Keep him away from Finding Bigfoot, or you'll be bored to death watching four people make weird sounds in the woods week after week! lol Many Thanks!

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  10. I love watching Ice Road truckers because I like to yell at the screen. I worked for the both Alyeska Pipeline Service Company and BP for a number of years. Carlile does all the trucking for both of those companies and I had plenty of times when they messed up my projects because of delays or some other crap.

    We did have casualties at least once a year, but they were usually POVs on the haul road. The last one that happened when I was working involved a motorcyclist. In the summer, a lot of tourists like to travel the road which is mostly gravel (if you're lucky), potholes, mud, and washboard. The motorcyclist apparently swerved to avoid something that came off of a truck and went into on-coming traffic where he became an instant speed bump. It's not a road where you let your guard down, that's for sure.

    And hubby is ADDICTED to Duck Dynasty. *quack* Great post, Rich! I can almost hear you cursing the rattle snake hunters and writing your own special 'hunting' list. ;)

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    1. Terrye - Really good of you to stop in! I was addicted to Ice Road Truckers for the first couple of seasons, but it became pretty much a soap opera after that. I did hear on some other show the other night about an accident on the Dalton Highway, but it was a car that skidded into a guard rail and only had minor damage. And, yes, you're right ... I'm a conservationalist. A lot of these hunters spray gasoline into gopher holes and such to draw out the snakes, even though they don't show that part. Gasoline ruins the environment for any animal to ever use that den again. It's ridiculous, especially the way they butcher the snakes at the Sweetwater Rattlesnake Round Up every year. I've signed numerous petitions against it, and other like events, but, if it's not a warm and fuzzy pet, the SPCA and other organizations tend to ignore them. Grrrrr! Definitely not, "Happy, Happy", as the father on DD would say! Many Thanks!

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  11. I like how you have show cased all these shows with names n descriptions...lol

    I had also lately written a blog on reality television n stupid people :)

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    1. Ruchira - Thanks so much for stopping by! I missed your blog on this topic. Provide me the address and I'll link yours up to this one! It's the least I can do! I've stopped getting any notifications of your posts, so I know I need to sign up again. I'll do so as soon as you get me that link! Many thanks!

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  12. I've watched Ice Road Truckers once I think, and it was entertaining I'll admit. Then I tried watching it again and it was pretty much the same...so I stopped watching. Haven't seen any of the other reality shows you've listed here. Can't believe people come up with some of this nonsense. The worst part is, people actually watch most of it. At least these are different. I find myself sucked in now and then by The Bachelor, The Kardashians, and a few others. They're so silly...I only watch when I'm taking a break from work or have nothing better to do. Enjoyed the post!

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    1. Melanie - I'm amazed you get any of these shows in South Africa! I figured you'd have your own ones, like "Swimming with the Great Whites While Eating Sushi" or "Wine Country Winos" or "Pop In Pastry Chefs" or "Mamba Hunters", etc. : ) I stay away from the others you've mentioned, basically because my wife doesn't know about them! lol Perhaps she knows she'd have to go to the bedroom and watch them like she does "Dancing With the Stars" and "The Biggest Loser". (I really hate both of those with a passion!) Glad you liked this! Many Thanks!

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  13. This post is hilarious! "Stupid people", etc. That's right. We don't have a tv, so thank you for the synopsis'. I feel caught up on all that I've missed (or haven't missed, really!)

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    1. Rachel - I'm one of those avid college basketball fans that couldn't live without a TV to keep me in contact with the games my team (Indiana) plays. Besides that, a movie now or then pretty much satisfies me. I remember the days of college when we'd turn it on with the sound all the way down and turn on a good album (yes, a vinyl disc used to play music ... olden times, lol). Of course, we were doing other things, too, that I won't go into detail about. : ) Glad you enjoyed this one. Many thanks!

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  15. I am a sucker for reality TV sometimes... I realize that it is just an action of a sucker watching a sucker. Our favorites... Faceoff - which is about movie makeup and Biggest Loser. I don't know why - but I always seem to want a big bowl of ice cream when I watch. For the most part - I don't watch a lot of TV. I think these types of shows just offer me the chance to turn off my brain. I really don't have to think much while I watch and that can be a good thing! :)

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    1. Stacy - Sorry, didn't get an email you'd stopped by! I actually watched a few episodes of Faceoff a season or two ago (It followed GhostHunters), and wasn't too disappointed. I didn't put it on my list of things to do each week, but I'd catch it every now and then. At least you don't TVO it! : ) They do provide for an escape from reality with their fantasy reality, but too much of a good thing gets to me too! Many thanks!

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