Friday, November 9, 2012

CIA Director Digs Afternoon Delight!


Wikipedia Commons
CIA Director David Petraeus resigns his post because of an extra marital affair.

Let me say that again!

CIA Director David Petraeus resigns his post because of an extra marital affair.

Here's a man, in charge of one of the strongest intelligence organizations in the world, and he steps down because of an extra marital affair.

Who knew?!?!

Wouldn't it seem somewhat strange that the CIA Director could keep an extra marital affair secret?  


The CIA is one of the primary agencies in charge of our nation's security.  And, this organization didn't know that its director was having a little "afternoon delight" on the side!  

Where's the sanity?!?!

It's not like your neighbor going over to your other neighbor's house with an empty cup looking for some sugar substitute!  This man is the head of the CIA.  He's supposed to have people know where he is every minute of the day.  

"Yes, Mr. President, I'm well aware that you need to talk to Director Petraeus.  I'm not telling you that he's not available, sir.  I'm simply saying that he's vanished!  He said he was going to lunch and it would probably be a couple of hours before he got back.  Yes, sir, I know we're in the middle of a crises, sir!  I understand you want to know what's going on in Libya right now.  You might try calling his cell phone.  Oh, you have and it says it's either been shut off or is out of the area.  Have you tried the Motel 6 down off of Water Street, sir?   No, I don't know what he would be doing there, but if he's gone for more than four hours, we're supposed to call a doctor for a house call."

So, did they know and just not say anything, or was Director Petraeus so slick that no one would ever know?  

Did he feel as though he could slide in and out of security, properly covered by a shield of passive protection, reach his primary target, satisfy both combatants to the fullest, and then return as if nothing had happened?  

Or, was he simply thinking with the wrong part of his body?

“I pledge allegiance to the swag,
of the director of the CIA.
One cheater, under sheets, quite visible
with Viagra and secrets for all.”

“God Bless America!”

16 comments:

  1. Richard, seriously just had heard about this, but I of course like your version and take on it much better than any news channel could put or tell it. Great job and loved the your version of the pledge of allegiance for the CIA cheater, lol :)

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    1. Janine - I watched Ellen (my wife had it on, lol) be broken into by a special report announcing this earlier, and just watched the evening news concerning the same. Why has no one asked if the CIA knew what was going on? It makes no sense. It's so hysterically wrong, it's hilarious! Thanks for the read! Good to see you smile!

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  2. I think he was thinking with the wrong part...but...I bet plenty of people knew about it and were keeping it quiet. They don't want to make the agency look bad and all that. Kind of surprised they interrupted Ellen to tell the world. So sick of hearing about these cheating men. Almost as sickening as the Kardashian clan! :)

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    1. AJ - So, in essence, you're implying a cover-up took place. Thus, the entire CIA integrity (if one can say that with a straight face) is jeopardized not by the indiscretions of its director, but by the cover-up that has taken place instead, which is the real story yet to be told. I do agree with you. I'm sick of the messing around myself, both men and women (Kristen Stewart for one). One would think they'd know better. Yet, with power and money comes a false feeling of freedom. Thanks for commenting!

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  3. lol god, you can't make this kind of stuff up.

    Maybe that's it, the people behind the scenes have hired script writers to arrange the activities of elected (and non-elected) officials. Sad thing, that is as credible an explanation as anything else!

    My favorite of this kind of government in wonderland, was back in the 90's (when I still followed the news) there was some sort of expose that the Defense Department had created a special Department of Strategic Misinformation, which they admitted to and that their 'market' was for the domestic news media as well as foreign.
    In any event the hear ratcheted up so they held a Press Conference (Rumsfeld I think it was) and they announced to the press that as a result of the outcry they had decided to discontinue the Department of Strategic Misinformation.
    They said that with a straight face and the 'reporters' just nodded their heads... I looked and I laughed for some reason the name Joseph Heller came to mind.
    Enjoyed your Post...

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    1. Clark - Sometimes reality provides us with the smiles instead of creativity! lol I'm thinking similarly to you, but in a "misdirection" sense. In my comment to Amy, the cover-up of the Director's activities is the real story here, not the resignation. Where does the integrity now sit with the KGB counterpart CIA? When we're discussing national security, one would think an agency above this type of thing. Yet, here it is again, smacking us right in the face. I'm just wondering how long until these questions come out? Thanks for the interesting comments!

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  4. OMG. This is hilarious. It's crazy, but no one- not even powerful people with awesome jobs can resist the power of illicit sex. I'm so amazed at how frequently it happens to people everywhere. But it is kind of ironic given his position.

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    1. Julie - This is the stuff one just can't make up! lol It turns out to be the lady who was writing his biography that's now "being investigated." I can't believe no one knew, as that doesn't speak highly of the agency. So, there's got to be a cover-up going on! Many Thanks!

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  5. You'd think that people in a position of such power would have learnt a thing or two after the whole Bill Clinton fiasco. Really! Obviously it wasn't the brain on top of his shoulders doing all the thinking... Loved your take on it, hadn't heard about this before reading your post.

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    1. Melanie - When I did stand-up, I used to do a bit called "The POP (power of poon)" that stated a woman could get whatever she wanted from a man either by allowing, offering, or threatening to cut him off. I'm guessing POP came into a factor here, too. If it was indeed his biographer that is the "other" party, I think she got more than enough information for her book, and then some. Still, it takes two and obviously his big brain shut down and the little one did all the thinking! So much for his own Central Intelligence Agency, as well as the one he directed! lol Many Thanks!

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  6. This is too funny... I think he should have resigned just for the lack of being able to do his job. Oh the irony. Great post.

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    1. Stacy - Really good to see you here! He proved himself inadequate, if not in the bedroom, in his logic and intestinal fortitude to demonstrate the intelligence necessary to lead the agency. Obviously, he must have realized his position, but didn't think much about his own CIA (Can I Anyway?) lol Sometimes, I'm so proud of my gender and the decisions made that I'm glad I'm out of the "marketplace". Many Thanks!

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  7. Richard, I like how you presented it with a funny angle :)

    On a serious note, I agree that an individual holding such a dignified post and representing America should be aware of his actions all the time and not let any of his body part slacken...lol

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    1. Ruchira - I couldn't agree more with you. One would think that by the time they would qualify for such a position they would have their personal life in order. Of course, how many old spy movies used the setting of a young woman using her female talents to get information from a stupid man, only concerned with his libido? It truly makes one wonder. Many Thanks!

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  8. Hey Rich!

    As I was saying, I think that something major occurred ... a big faux pas. Otherwise this would not be happening (the FBI investigation). I bet they did purposely with hold the news until the election was over. That would have been messy..no one would have known who to B-L-A-M-E...you know? Not enough time before the voting...idk...go ahead, call me cray cray!

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    1. Kelly - That's a really good point. We wouldn't want a person that had been appointed by the President to be in question. That would definitely cause us to question the judgement of the one who appointed him. So, we now have an agency cover-up, a Presidential cover-up, and a director that couldn't make proper decisions or figure out how to keep his fly zipped up! Yeppers! That could have been a possible turning point for some of the voters for sure. Not crazy at all. In fact, highly possible! Many Thanks!

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