Fridays have always been a special day in my life. Pre-school memories of going down to the corner to catch a station wagon style bus that would take us to the "big" city of Bloomington, Indiana. (Well, it was bigger than the town of 4,000 rednecks that I grew up near.)
We'd eat a lunch at a dime store counter (usually a nutritious hamburger and fries), check out what the store offered in the Toy Section (and cry and scream until I got something), and then head to one of three theaters that the big city had to offer (so my mom could meet her boyfriend). After that, we'd walk seven or eight blocks to the Loudon's Grocery Store, do our shopping (while I stayed in the magazine section and sneaked looks at Playboy Magazines), and wait on my father to come pick us up when he got off of work (so we could listen to him bitch about how much money my mother had spent there).
My high school years brought Friday basketball games into the picture. They were the highlight of the weekend and usually drew crowds of 2-3,000 people. (Imagine 3,000 screaming subhumans in a saliva frothing frenzy!) If you've ever seen the movie Hoosiers, you understand the fever of the crowds and the excitement of the events. Later, when my school finally decided to bring in football, that filled the early Fall Friday evenings (with pain, I might add).
During my days as an on air broadcaster, Fridays always brought us to a different location as we did remote broadcasts, giving us a chance to meet our fans. (Rock music radio fans have always been a strange bunch, especially those in love with DJ's.) As a district manager, Fridays meant I could leave Baton Rouge and head back to Alabama to spend the weekend with my family. (Let's drive 3 hours home to get nagged!) And, in Stand-Up Comedy, Fridays always meant the largest and loudest audiences looking for a good laugh. (And to get drunk, try to drive home, and get their licenses suspended.)
Now, we have FTSF!!!
(Aren't you glad the travelogue from my past is finally over!)
Finish The Sentence Friday is when our gracious hostesses
(listed below with the rules)
My Bucket List Includes ...
So, without further ado, here's what my bucket list includes:
"Remember, instead of sand in hand, cover the poo with sand from a bucket, instead of just saying, "F**k it""
2) Stack-O-Buckets! Who knows what chores you'll need a bucket for around the house. There's dogs to dunk and kids to clean up after. Husbands may need one for washing the car or truck. Why, on an exceptional day after having been nagged for weeks, they may even need one to clean up the garage floor. (Don' bet on that one!) Inside the house, there's the tile to clean, kitty litter to change, and diaper leakage to get out of those deep pile carpets. Bucket, Bucket, whose got the bucket? Why, you do, and plenty of them!
3) Wooden Buckets! These work great when carrying in walnuts, peaches, apples, or even hickory nuts from those outside trees that make mowing the lawn a nightmare. This wooden bucket is lightweight and easy to swing back and forth to bring about bruises to young children looking to go to child services and make proclamation of parental abuse.
4) Steel Buckets! Every basement needs a steel bucket. Unless you have a coal furnace (which means you need to upgrade to either gas or electricity soon, fool) there are very few uses for a steel bucket. Generally, these will be used as temporary ashtrays, waste baskets, or urinals when the women of the house are living in all the available bathrooms for three hours a day. Still, when that prize gerbil dies, these make great holding cells until the Winter ground thaws!
5) Commercial Floor Mopping Buckets! If you want to make your neighbors think that you're working your butt off trying to keep the house clean, you definitely need one of these. Wait until the majority of your neighbors are within view, fill the bucket up with water, and take it out the door and dump it where all can see you! Your standing in the community as a hard working homemaker will rise immediately!
So, now you know what my bucket list contains. I really don't understand why anyone would be interested in this, but I must comply with the wishes of the hostesses. I do have to question some of their prompts at times, though!
Oh, a Bucket List means a list of things you want to do before you die?
Really? You're joshing me!
No?
Oh, well, I'm already done.
Hell, I'll have to talk about that some other time.
Meanwhile, won't you grab a bucket and join me?
