SERIOUS SUNDAY: "Guilty" Or "Not Guilty" ... Who Knows?

The trial is over.

George Zimmerman has been 

acquitted of all charges.

Half the country is in mourning 

and the other half relieved.  

All of the country is waiting 

to see if rioting commences.

Sad, isn't it?

Personally, I don't know if 

Zimmerman was guilty or not.

Neither do you!

What I do know is that there were several things that bothered me from the beginning.  I don't know if you were too wrapped up in the emotional aspects of the case to see them.  Many were.  But, they were present from the start for those that observed.

Photo Initially Released

1)  Why did the Martin family provide the media with a photo of Trayvon that was several years old?  Was depicting him to be younger than he was a desire to get people on their side and draw media coverage?  Obviously, they had many other photos of him available.  Yet, they chose to portray him in a more "innocent age" photo.  Drawing upon the sympathy of the masses could work in their favor.  Obviously, many prominent speakers (I hate to use the word leaders as most don't lead, only seek out media attention.) saw this photo and saw the chance for media coverage.  They played this photo up continuously, many knowing that it was not the way Trayvon appeared in recent years.  

Photo From Video

{{subst: image permission|File:Trayvon Martin Gangbanger4.jpg}} ~~~~ 

What really bothers me is that even after his "gansta video" shots were released (only by someone finding a video he'd made and posted on the Internet) the media still refused to show the young man as he appeared in real life.  What was there to hide?  Isn't the truth more important than false sensationalism?  If someone is truly innocent, why did they have to resort to hiding the truth about his appearance?

Al Sharpton (self proclaimed "Activist")

2)  The media made this out to be a racially motivated crime ... Black vs. White ... if you will.  Zimmerman isn't a White.  Of course, by creating sensationalism, the news media recognized that they would draw viewers, thusly, providing them ratings.  More people would be interested if racially motivated reasoning was brought into the picture, as it then became bigger than just one person killing another.  The media, Al Sharpton, and others ran with this as they recognized they, too, would gain some of the spotlight coverage.  

"Those who fail to remember the past are doomed to repeat it."

3)  Why did our President have to become involved in this?  Not since Richard Nixon's mistake of proclaiming Charles Manson guilty prior to the court's verdict has such an error in judgment been made.  Oh, many believe that he was truly emotional over the situation.  Please, let me sell you some ocean front property in Arizona if that be the case.  True, he made public statement concerning the mass shooting's that took place in a theater and in a school before, but for a single individual?  There are numerous violent deaths in the United States every day.  Some by shooting, some by stabbing, and some by design.  He doesn't get involved in any of those, regardless of how innocent the victims may have been.  

Yet, here, in a single individual death, he's making a statement.  Could it have been politically motivated?  Could he have wanted to provide the media with a statement only because it was being projected as "racially motivated?"  Could he have been talked into making the statement because of all the media attention it was receiving, which provided him with a larger audience?  Could it be because his popularity polls were dropping?  Could it have been because there was a gun control bill in Congress that needed votes to pass, and this was another way of getting more public support for the bill?  I don't know.  You tell me.  It does seem very suspicious though.

Faked Injuries?

4)  Every time Zimmerman photos were displayed showing wounds sustained in the incident, there were always statements included that questioned if they were true photos, or Photo Shop creations.  The media insinuated many times that there were fakes being released by Zimmerman's defense lawyers to assist them in their case.  Even the statements by the paramedics that treated Zimmerman on the scene were questioned for their truthfulness and accuracy.  Was the media so afraid that their ratings would suffer if people saw the other side of the story that they did their best to push people away from possible truths?

These were the major reasons I questioned the case from the start.  Things just didn't add up.  There was no reason that the media would hide, re-direct, and take sides in the matter besides the fact that if the case was proven to have two sides, their coverage (and ratings) would suffer.  

Isn't it always about money?

No, I don't know if George Zimmerman was guilty or not.  The prosecutors built their case  greatly around speculation.  When it came to the facts, they failed miserably in presenting them.

One cannot blame the jury.  They were selected by both the defense and the prosecution.  If they were incompetent, biased, or motivated in any way besides deciding what the truth was, they shouldn't have been selected.  Obviously, the defense and prosecution thought they were qualified.

There were only two people there on that terrible evening.  One is alive and, unfortunately,  one is not.

None of us really know what transpired that night.  It was a horrendous occurrence that should never take place, but is repeated too often in our society.  A young man died.  It should have never have happened.

However, regardless of what your emotions lead you to believe, you really don't know what did take place.  Like I've already said, "Neither do I!"

Is the innocent living or dead?  Is the guilty living or dead?

George Zimmerman knows.

So does God.

The guilty always pay in the end and the innocent will get their rewards.  At least, if you believe in God that's the way it occurs.

The only question is, 

"When will it happen?"

DISCLAIMER:  I don't wish to be known as standing up for either Trayvon Martin or George Zimmerman.  My sympathies and condolences go out to all involved.  I only present the above as questions to ask yourself.  I honestly can't say what happened that evening, and have questions that still need to be answered.  Perhaps, one day, if the truth hasn't been told, it will be.  Perhaps, if the truth has been told, we'll better understand it with future police report releases.  Until then, I am really at a loss to even guess.  It is a real shame, either way, and is a tragic event that never should have taken place.

Dreams, Flying Birds, and That's Life!!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/babs4180/4347305428/

Have you ever wondered if you were dreaming and awakened to find you were?  Or, better yet, how do you know that you're not still dreaming, and only awake while living in your dream? 

(Oh, God, is Rich getting philosophical with us 

this week?)

What if none of us have yet to be born?  Could our entire life be a fantasy while we're still in the womb?  Could we still be a fetus, consumed in adult thought patterns, which would better prepare us for the life ahead once we see the light of day?  

(Kind of makes your number of Facebook Friends and Twitter Followers 

insignificant, doesn't it?)

And, "No, I haven't been doing acid." 

(At least not since the 70's.  Where's the damn flashbacks when you need them?)

I'm guessing that you have had at least one dream that influenced your life. 

(Oh, c'mon, I'm not talking about when you awoke 

from your first puberty experience.) 

I'm talking one in which something happened to which you woke up saying, 

"Damn, I know what to do now!" 

Whether it prevented you from doing something dangerous or embarrassing, or pushed you to travel beyond your safe zone, it had an affect on your life.  You're either a better person for following it, or a better person for recognizing that your subconscious wanted you to go forward and you should not have failed to listen to it. 

(We all learn from our mistakes. 

I've learned to always keep one's drug supplier's phone number safe,

if I can ever find one again!)

I remember dreaming that I could fly.  It was a beautiful summer day and one of my friends was running towards the back of the yard.  I was running behind him, and suddenly found that by holding out my arms and waving them, I was gliding in the air.  The harder I "flapped" them, the higher I rose.  I had been given the gift of the bird.  It was a gift I'd attempt to share with others my entire life.

(In fact, I can't tell you how many people I've given gift of the bird to over the years!)

It truly changed my life.

(Especially, in my "troubled teenage years" 

in many high school yearbook pictures, lol).

No, This Isn't Me ...
I Slipped In Mine In Much Cooler Ways!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/light_seeker/5563049245/

Anyway, this is another Finish The Sentence Friday.  Here is the obligatory JPEG listing the wonderful people hosting this hop, as well as the rules of the hop:

Each week, the hosts (or, "hostesses" if you may), start a thought with an unfinished sentence.  It is then up to those of us that participate to complete the thought with creations either from our past, present, or our deepest fantasies.  This week, the thought to get us started is:

"If I could go back and do something over it would be..."

So, this is supposed to be where it gets good.  

(My God, how do we ever live up to all the hype????)

"If I could go back and do something over it would be … 

to do it the same way."

I've had a tremendous amount of fun in my life.  I never looked at it as fun while I was doing it, but after it was over, it had to be classified as that.

Okay, so what am I talking about?  Have I really gone off the deep end this week?

Perhaps, but let's look back. 

I've always tried to live my life to the fullest.  True, I haven't amounted to much in the eyes of those who measure success by wealth.  (Of which I've squandered many times.)  Yet, the experiences I've shared are more than many would ever imagine doing in their lifetime. 

No, I've never been in a porn movie … yet!

During my high school days, I got to enjoy the perils of being in school politics (Student Body President, Class President 2 years, and Student Council), multiple clubs, sports teams, and other so called "popularity contests."  During this time, I also held jobs mowing lawns, breaking horses, and working in a grocery store. And, "Yes", I always did have a girlfriend.  

(Maybe I should revamp this post.  I did have a time in a high school Sociology class that I could do over.  It concerned a former girlfriend ... sitting next to me ... and whose top rose up exposing a bare small of the back.  Daringly, I reached over, and slowly worked my hand (and then arm) down and inside the back of her jeans.  Suddenly, a knock at the door occurred and my present girlfriend of the time (who was an office assistant that period) entered with a note for the teacher.  Immediately, my former girlfriend sat straight up quickly, nearly breaking my arm!  When I was finally able to get my hand and arm free, that one took some explaining, lol!)

One might say that I was a little busy during those days. 

(My grades showed it too!  lol)

College, and military days intertwined as I used the G.I. Bill to go back to school after having visited many countries throughout Europe and Central America.  There are many things I did (both in college and military) that cannot be discussed openly, but the experiences they provided made some adventure movies look boring by comparison.

(Does jumping out the window of a campus building that's been taken over 

by students to escape the authorities storming the building count?)

Next, came a career in radio announcing, followed by stand-up comedy and then business.  Times were good, bad, exciting, and lonely.  The third time I was engaged I finally got married.  It was the charm as I inherited two kids when I selected my wife. I've enjoyed their love and endured their pain.  Walking the oldest down the aisle to be married has been my life's proudest moment.

(Followed closely by the first time my wife ever reached the peak …

and I was actually there!)

I Captured This four footer In SE Arizona ...
Watch Out, Terrye!!!!!

The many phases of my life contained trying different adrenalin packed experiences.  These included snow skiing, water skiing, skin diving, sky diving, dirt track auto racing, high performance car racing courses, attack dog classes, hurricane disaster team, and firearms training.  My specialty tended to be working with (and hunting in the wild) venomous reptiles, as well as performing venom extractions (milking) for the research of others into cancer treatment and Alzheimer's Disease.  (This nearly took my life a couple of times.)

(Yeah, I know …..   "Ewwwwwwww, you dummy!)

So, what's next?

I'm still looking into bungee jumping off of a bridge over a river. 

(I may be old, but I'm not dead!)

I've enjoyed life, instead of simply going through it.  No, I've never reached the heights that many thought I'd achieve when I was younger.  Primarily, it's because I always wanted to reach higher and in another direction.  If it's there and worth doing, then why not do it? 

Yep, I'd do it all over again and not change a thing.  

Well, maybe I wouldn't have lost the number to my drug supplier, but besides that …..

555-1964 ....no ... 555-5465 ... no ...
555-6567 ... no ...555-2323 ... no ...
555-6776 ... no ... 555-4345 ... no ...
Damn it!!!!!!

The Annual Running Of The Bulls ... And Bullsh***ers!!!

Pamplona, Spain 

is enjoying the 

"Running of the Bulls" 

once again!

There's a fool born 

every minute!

Let's examine this logically!

Hmmm, man has two legs 
and bulls have four.  

So, the odds are doubled in favor of the bulls.

Man has no horns 
and bulls have huge ones.  

Again, double the odds.

Many of the individuals running have been celebrating with alcoholic beverages
destroying their common sense and weakening their stamina.

Hey boys and girls, 

look at the bulls grinning from cheek to cheek!!

                                          

I'd like to see an annual running of the 

"Bulls and Bullsh***ers 

held in Washington, D.C. every July 4th!

(Talk about a REAL Independence Day!)

SURPRISE!!!!!!  
Muhahahahahaha!!!!!!

Think about it ... all politicians, lobbyists, and Chiefs of Staff, nervously trying to warm up, dressed in Red, White & Blue starter wear (and headbands) and old Converse All-Stars.

Behind them ... 2,000 Texas Longhorn and Brahma bulls, and 500 Mexican fighting bulls (representing the new minority) ... being ceaselessly tapped  with cattle prods, rising from underground hydraulic units, and sending electrical charges to their most tender, private parts (ouch!) just to get their mood right.

You Want My Dad!!! He's The Politician!!!

The run would cover the one mile distance between the Washington Monument and the steps of the Capitol.  Those contestants that survived and reached the steps could keep their office or government jobs one more year, or until the end of their term in office arrived, whichever came first.

Kind of gives the phrase, “Running for office” 

a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?

It’s my guess that after a year or two, we’d begin to see a whole new group of people becoming politicians.  No longer would the 30 year politician be around to gouge the voters (hopefully because of the lower posterior gouges they'd get from the bulls), as age and odds would no longer be in their favor.  Maybe the horn up the tail experience would even influence the Silver Spooned elitists to stay away, ensuring they'd still be around to enjoy their wealth.

Working class people would soon be shoo-in's for political offices.  

                                Run, Forrest, Run!!!

Yeeeee-Hawwwww!!!

Huge monetary penalties could be imposed for 1) banning union participation, 2) outrageous CEO salaries, and 3) moving companies to China and Mexico.  In addition, the outspoken Huffpost Comment Front, supported by lawyers, television star ego seeking "brain doctors",  and uneducated Internet fools with false bravado's, would be banned from ever commenting, or even being seen in a public forum again!  (OMG, the cruelty of the world at its worst!!) In fact, it would be mandated they experience the next major hurricane (in person), by being set adrift on a small, rubber ducky pool raft five miles from the shoreline.   

Mercy, Please!!!  I'm Only A Secretary!!!!!

**Perhaps, the common sense masses would do away with the “No Child Gets Ahead” Federal Testing Standards so that our children could once again become educated. (What a concept!)  

**Perhaps, motherhood, prior to high school graduation, would no longer be financially supported by the government, but left to the personal accountability of the families (of both parties) that failed in their duties to properly instill morals and discipline in their children.  
(What a radical idea!)  

**And, what if, perhaps, responsibility and work ethic once again became society's expectations, instead of rarities?  (Okay, have I gone too far yet?)

Perhaps, that’s what Spain had in mind years ago 

when they started this annual event.

Perhaps, it’s just what we need to clean up the mess 

our society suffers from in the States.

Perhaps, it’s time the bullsh***ers in D.C. experience 
a little bullsh*t for themselves!!

Steak, anyone?

No Chik-Fil-A jokes, please!

Profanity, Uptight Blogger Association, & Who Do You Write To

Originally, I was going to skip writing this week.  The 4th of July seemed to be a good excuse, plus, I've just had one of the worst months I've ever had.  (Okay, so I was looking for excuses.)

Procrastination is my best friend.

Yet, an event posted on Facebook stirred my interest ... and my brain.  

Something that very seldom 

happens on Facebook.

A friend of mine just had a person make a negative comment on her blog.  Because of a content that contained some profanity, this commenter felt as thought my friend's blog should be labeled "18 and older."

"The Uptight Blogger Association of America has rated this blog "R" for Adult Language and Situations.  Parents should consult local listings prior to allowing children under the age of 18 from viewing this blog.  In fact, if you consider yourself "holier than thou", "more intelligent than anyone else", or part of "today's uptight society that seeks to keep from being offended by anyone in any way", it is recommended that you take your uptight ass and false Internet bravado someplace else before you're offended.  And "No, damnit, you can't sue me because you've now been warned.  So leave now or forever hold your peace!  Love you!"

Could this be offensive to those
that see penis envy?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/danorbit/346563918/

Now, if you're a follower, or constant reader, or even a casual reader of this blog, you know I don't hold back when it comes to topics covered.  In fact, I'm amazed at how generous most of you are when it comes to acknowledging that I really don't try to limit subject matter in any way.  (i.e.: "God taking a dump" or "Attack of the Killer Zombie Twinkies" in the last couple of weeks.)

There are even times I allude to various adult acts at times.  I do so, somewhat discreetly, but still, they are present.  (Okay, so I'm human, too!  Hard to believe, isn't it?)

Or, maybe you only scan as many do, looking for a strange part to comment about.   (Funny how one can always tell those that read and those that scan by their comments.  But, that’s another topic.)

Some avoid my posts because of their length, which is usually twice that of common blogs.  (It’s called WAD ... Web Attention Deficit ... the inability to focus for more than three minutes on any topic.)

I’m rambling (Something you know I never do.)  Back to topic!

I write to adults.  “Who do you write to?”  Isn’t that really the question?

Couldn't this be offensive
and considered a sexist photo?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gagilas/4495968987/

I may not use a lot of profanity in my writings.  I try to restrain myself in everyday life from doing so, as well as in my blog.  But, that doesn’t mean I write to the Sesame Street crowd. In fact, there are times that a good usage of profanity describes the total frustration of the situation better than any other word could.  That's Life ... Sometimes!  (Notice the plug for my blog?  I know, isn't it shameless?)

Again, “Who do you write to?”

Can you imagine a seven year old contemplating God taking a dump?  
I can’t.  Their life is already complicated by divorced parents who don’t have time for them, real life fantasy video games, and Sexting.  Why would I ever wish to add more confusion to their growing minds? 

There's always Fox News Network and CNN to accomplish that! 

Cute or Offensive?  Adult or not?
Would you rate this "R"?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbird/19650368/

I read many blogs (although, recently, most have been on my I-Phone at work (making it a real pain in the ass to comment on them), and find most subject matter to be of the adult nature.  Everything from daily struggles with autistic youngsters, sexual evenings, rabid rantings and complaints of anger and frustration, to contemplations of suicide fill the blog world in my reading realm.

No wonder my brain is so screwy at times!

I look at life, from an adult perspective, as most of you do.  So, Uptight Asses, rank me adult only and see if I care!  A blog is a blog is a blog.

Nor, will I worry if you “Unlike” me on Facebook.  To me, I’ve rather have one loyal follower than 500 that just want me to follow them back.

In fact, I believe most of us that really write to hit gut feelings and bring about an emotional reaction have to decide on the best route to do so and sometimes feel as though what others think or believe really doesn’t mean much.  Each person must decide on their own style.

“Are we lying to ourselves and them by writing to the masses, 

or are we being honest with ourselves and writing from the heart?”

Okay, so this hasn’t been a real funny post today.  But, it’s been honest.

Rate me how you wish, read my blog or don’t read my blog.  It’s usually filled with subtle humor, face front sarcasm, and smart ass remarks. 

If you consider me offensive, that's fine!  If you don't like the subject matter I cover, or the language I use, that is also fine.  In fact, just like a TV, you have the ability to change the channel if you don't find the content appealing.  

Today, the topic has been stated.  The ground rules have been laid out.  

I write to adults.

“Who do you write to?”

Attack of the Killer Zombie Twinkies!!!!

If You See One Of These, Run Very Quickly!!!!

KILLER ZOMBIE TWINKIES 

FROM HOSTESS!!!

Who would have ever 

guessed it?

Months ago, when Hostess declared bankruptcy, many thought they'd never see their beloved Twinkies ever again.  Babies cried, grade schooler's went through lunchtime D.T.'s, potheads went "Wow, man!", and pregnant mothers screamed obscenities at helpless grocery clerks.  

The nation was in turmoil.

Gradually (as they only had a 45 day shelf life), except for those watching Woody Harrelson's quest in "Zombieland" reruns on Cinemax, Twinkies were all but forgotten.  It was a brighter day in the land as 50 pound bags of Oreo Cookies made a strong comeback, especially with the potheads! ("Wow, man!)

Yes!  Twinkies Will Be Coming Back Soon!!!!!

Then, the announcement was made that on July 15, 2013, Hostess, under new ownership, would again be bringing back  Twinkies!   Crowds roared in glee!  Fireworks filled the skies!  Redneck newlyweds even stopped making love to simply lie back and relish in the thoughts of Twinkies and the ecstasy they would bring!

Little did the public know that the governments of the world had formed a solitary world alliance government. Under the new Hostess owner name of Metropoulos & Co. & Apollo, their mad, but educated, scientists had developed a new type of Twinkies.  These Twinkies would carry a mind control drug (known as Blowurmind) that would create a world society of slaves.  Slaves that would work for minimum wage, live with four to five families in one apartment (or full size '77 Chevy van), and never complain about the government they served.  It was based upon the recent illegal immigrants of the United States ... a proven to work model.

As July 15th grew closer, the excitement escalated.  Thoughts of a spongy yellow cake filled with a thick, white, vanilla cream caused mouths to water endlessly and allowed the wiping of drool to become an accepted social grace.  Car payments were ignored and families stopped buying vegetables and toilet paper in order to ensure proper funding of the untold number of boxes of Twinkies they would soon be devouring.  

Anticipated Twinkie Riots Called For Extreme Security Measures!!

Grocery and convenience stores hired security companies to supply extra personnel to handle the imagined onslaught of customers expected for the release date.  Medical personnel prepared emergency rooms to handle the multitude of sugar overdose victims anticipated.  Even daycare facilities hired temporary help to guard the stashes of Twinkies they would hoard for their customers children.  Finally, all nations called out their National Guard troops to be on the alert!

On July 14th, every semi truck and trailer in the nations of the world arrived at the Twinkies distribution centers.  Pallets of these golden morsels were loaded continuously from sun-up to sundown.  By morning, every store in the world had storerooms crammed full and shelves fully stocked.  

The crowds didn’t disappoint.  One United States chain, Walmart, was overrun as thousands of customers grabbed armfuls of boxes and fought for a place in line at one of the two registers open.  Lines stretched around the inside of the store three times until people grew frustrated, rioted, and escaped the premises without paying.  It was a scene repeated the world over.

And then it happened.

Yes, Dummy, You Now Want To Run Very Quickly!!!
Didn't You See My Warning On The First Picture?

Blowurmind, not having been properly tested by the FDA, immediately started having a different reaction than expected.  Instead of simply being a mind control drug, people were being transformed into giant, man eating Zombie Twinkies!

Zombie Twinkies now roam the streets by the thousands, feasting upon those that had either procrastinated buying the boxes of golden treats, or were diabetics that couldn’t take the chance of eating them and going into a diabetic coma.  

It is reported that after attacking their victims with crab-like claws, the Zombie Twinkies  fed by soaking their victim's blood into the golden cake outside, and blending it into the green and gray mold already setting in from being exposed to the humidity outside the bag.  They have also been know to shoot their thick, white, vanilla cream into the nostrils of those that get too close, causing death by suffocation.  (Get your mind out of the gutter, geesh!  What are you ... a cheerleader?)

Some of us hid behind locked doors with our Little Debbie cakes, as our neighbors were being squished and saturated by Zombie Twinkies.  C-SPAN, with it’s never ending  camera shots of the United States Senate, showed continuous coverage of those politicians (that had agreed to the idea of mind control) becoming food for the Zombie Twinkies.  One could tell that digesting politicians didn’t agree with the intestinal system of the Zombie Twinkies, though, as many were immediately regurgitated.  We guessed politicians were as hard for the Zombie Twinkies to stomach as they are for us.

Mommy, I'm Scared Of ZombieTwinkies!

So now, three days after the initial release of the new Twinkies, the survivors of the world's nations still hide.  Yes, we fearfully slink in the shadows of our own homes.  Our windows are boarded up and doors barricaded, sealed shut tightly by the caramel insides of Snickers bars.  

It is our only hope.

There have been many attempts to stop the giant Zombie Twinkies, but none have yet proven to be effective.  Bullets are useless on the Zombie Twinkies as the thick, white, vanilla cream quickly hardens and fills up the holes.  Torches of fire are extinguished by this same white cream.  Explosives only scatter their remains that each then grow into full size monsters.  And, those that have successfully attacked the beasts with sledgehammers and axes have found the cream and cake spattered leftovers to be far too tempting to resist, and have quickly been transformed into Killer Zombie Twinkies themselves after tasting.

It is whispered that the few remaining scientists of the world are working on a cure by developing a natural enemy to the Twinkies.  Although no one alive has ever seen a giant chocolate Ding Dong, it is our only hope.

Until that time (if ever) when all is back to normal...

Anyone have an Oreo and a glass of milk handy?

***To the makers and owner of Twinkies.  This has only been written in jest.  

If you can't take a joke, then go back and develop something that won't make 

a joke of every diet known to man.  Twinkies are know to have no nutritional 

value and are filled with unnecessary calories.  Pay your workers what they 

deserve, cut back on upper management salaries, and develop a treat you 

can be proud of that's healthy for people to eat.  Thank you!

FTSF: Ray Guns, Flying Waterbeds & Tanya Roberts

It's 10:25 p.m.!

I haven't written a thing for FTSF.

I'm either going to have to come up with something decent to write about in the next few minutes, or quietly bow out of the blog hop this week.

How does one 

loudly bow out?  

"Hey everyone, I'm going to stay out of circulation this week!  Just wanted all of you to know it!  Why?  Because I'm so damn wonderful, I know all of you will miss me if I'm not here!  So, here I go ... I'm bowing out now!"

That's not really bowing out.

It's more like ego announcing withdrawal symptoms! 

It's like an actor turning down a role in a movie.  You usually don't find out about it unless the movie turns out to be a huge success.  Then, all of a sudden, the actor goes on every talk show available to tell of how he made a mistake in not taking the role offered.  So, in essence, he becomes a part of the movie's success by hanging on its coat tail.

Obviously, I'm not going to bow out.  I'm probably going to continue to type with hopes of something miraculous occurring.

I need a movie role!

In My Waterbed Jet, I Could Save The World!!!!

I can see myself in the lead of a major blockbuster.  I'm the old, experienced coot that knows right from wrong and how to do what the young whippersnappers (I love that word, lol) only wish they could.  I'm flying around the world in my specialized waterbed, surrounded by a climate controlled force field, shooting out rays that will change the attitudes of greed, revenge, hatred, and stupidity.  Politicians are trying to hide, yet, sticking their heads up their butts still leaves them completely exposed (more so than one would like to visualize).  

I'm soaring at speeds that allow me to cover the entire face of the Earth in a matter of days.  Missiles are aimed and shot at me by the North Koreans, but expectantly fall into the ocean as they miss their target.  Suicide bombers are awaiting me on every television transmitting tower, but only succeed in blowing up the signal that provides Honey Boo Boo and South Beach Towing re-runs.  Rap music becomes extinct as suddenly as there is no more violence, bitches, or whores to rap about.  The land is quiet as car stereos lose their need for 78 inch woofers and 15,000 watt systems.

But, this doesn't come without a price.  The result of being in close proximity to the rays has a damaging affect on me.  The world, recognizing what has been achieved, demands scientists spend every waking moment finding a cure to my ailment.  My time is short.

Yet, I have never stood in front of the ray, so I am not as the rest of the human race.  I still can feel the hatred, anger, revenge, and greed that exists no where else.  I have decisions to make.  Should I use my remaining time on Earth to amass tremendous power and fortune from those too naive to see what I could accomplish?  Or, as many would hope, will I allow myself to die in my flying waterbed honorably as an example for the human race to follow?

No, damn it, I haven't come up with the ending yet!   

Anyway, this is another Finish The Sentence Friday.  Yep, here's the expected JPEG.

Oh, and this week, Katia from I Am The Milk is also co-hosting.  

(Okay, the basics are all covered.)

Today's prompt is:

"If I could have dinner with anyone in history 

it would be with...."

Now, most of you are probably betting I'd say God.  However, after last week's posting about God Taking A Dump, I'm gonna lay off the big guy for a while.  His (or her, Cyndi) sense of humor probably has limits, and to be blunt, I don't need another week of bad luck like I've experienced this week.  

So, since it wasn't specified that this be singular, I'm going to say, 

"If I could have dinner with anyone in history 

it would be Mel Brooks, Woody Allen, 

Carol Burnette, Gene Wilder, Tim Conway, Johnny Carson, Bobby Knight 

and Tanya Roberts 

(for eye candy ... I'm old but I'm not dead)."

Six masters of comedy, one master of motivation, and one beautiful woman that deserves a special and private desert with me after the meal.  (I'm thinking strawberries and whipped cream ... a lot of strawberries and whipped cream ... like maybe a bushel of strawberries and five or six cans of whipped cream ... well, maybe not a bushel, but you get the picture!)

Johnny would have to keep things under control as I'm sure things would quickly get completely crazy  otherwise.  I can see him directing the serving staff as to who to serve first and what they would be fed.  When in doubt, he could pull out his turban and do his Carnac the Magnificent bit to hush the occupants.

Mel and Woody would have to be seated apart from each other to keep the conversation from being monopolized by Jewish jokes, as would Tim and Carol to avoid an evening of television re-run boredom.  I'm sure Gene could keep Bobby in stitches with stories about slapstick antics with Richard Pryor, and Bobby could get the whole group roaring by demonstrating proper chair throwing techniques by taking out an overhead chandelier!   

Of course, there's only so many chairs in the place, so Tanya would have to spend the remaining part of the meal sitting in my lap.  (Hey, a true gentleman has to make sacrifices!)

All said and done, the comedy secrets and education that one could get from these comic geniuses would be unequaled to years of effort.  Bobby's direction in motivation could be a tremendous advantage to working towards success.  And, Tanya ... well, Tanya would just make the evening complete!   

I can see her and I jumping into my flying waterbed and enjoying an evening under the stars as we soared by the light of a full moon.

"NO!  Tanya .... 

don't touch that Ray Gun!!!!!"

Oh well......