Friday, March 25, 2016

Gabriela, No Trump, and back to Sarcasm with a shorter TTOT!

Once again, my Demon Cat, Gabriela, wakes up from her fitful sleep, clears the acrid Satan smoke from around her ears and makes herself known.


"Can I tell another story
 this week?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because my views were down 50% by putting you in my blog."

"It's because your blog is too long for most to enjoy."

"And your story didn't make it 
any shorter!"

"It's because you've become too preachy 
about all the social problems in the world."

"I agree, but I can stop that just like I can stop you!"

"But, I'm really good looking.  People like good looking cats.  
They don't like fat, old men that do nothing but bitch, bitch, bitch!"

"Have you looked in a mirror lately?  If your whiskers are supposed to tell you how wide of an opening you can get through yours need to grow another three inches on each side."

"But, I don't bitch."

"No, you ARE a bitch."

"I can't argue with that."

"Didn't think you could."

"But, don't you love me anymore?"

"Stop looking like you're gonna cry.  Of course I love you.  You still get your Little Friskies every night and your Cat Chow every morning don't you?"

"You're making me fat so no one will ever love me."

"You don't have to eat it."

"Right.  How do you expect me not to eat when you stick it right
 in front of me.  Plus, I see you eating all the time.  
What an example you set!"

"So, if I stop eating and stop putting out the Cat Chow, you'll stop complaining?"

"Let's not go to extremes, now.  I do like my Cat Chow."

"Prefer me do away with the Little Friskies?"

"Prefer me to use my claws on your crotch?"

"See, you leave me no choice.  I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't."

"Should've known that when you named me a "Demon Cat."

"Do you mind if I get to what the people came to read ... the Ten Things Of Thankful?"

"You should be thankful for me."

"I am."

"Awwww, you do love me."

"Of course I do."

"So, can I tell a story?"

"You just did!  Now it's time for this week's 

TEN THINGS OF THANKFUL !!!"
SEE ALL TTOT POSTS HERE !!!!!

"Don't get too preachy!  It turns people off."

"Leave Gabriella."

"You'll miss me when I'm gone."

"Let's try it and see.  I love to experiment."

"But, you love me."

"Yes, I love you ... now go."

"Can I say goodbye to everybody?"

"You just did.  Later, Gator."

"That reminds me of a story."

"GABRIELA!!!"

"I'm gone, I'm gone.  Bye all!"


This week, besides the fact that she's left the room, I'm thankful for ...


Bomb #1 (right top) at Airport and Bomb #2
(bottom left) at Metro Station.
1)  ... European survival.  This past Tuesday, well over thirty people were killed by ISIS in cowardly bombings that took place in Brussels, Belgium.  Civilians, dealing with shock, still maintained their dignity and integrity during the interviews by a blood thirsty press in the aftermath.  You didn't see any whining about it, only stoic attitudes and inner strength.


This is not the first, nor the last bombing that Europe will survive.  As examples set by survivors of the Axis Powers during World War II, Europeans tend to exhibit the intestinal fortitude of their ancestry.  Not to slight the U.S., many here also exhibited this after the Boston Marathon bombings a few years back.

And, I damn every member of ISIS for their cowardly acts of violence.  

However, I would like to initiate a training school for ISIS suicide bombers.  I could show them how to properly attach the explosives, gather themselves together in a freshly dug ditch, and push the "Explode" buttons in their hands.  Then, they could all go to Bomber Nirvana and meet their virgins ... all of whom are blonde ... and resemble Miss Piggy!

2)  ... Lush Massage Bar causes plants to grow in bathtubs and showers!  Okay, so the first round of Lush caused people to turn pink.  Now, because of a bean they use in their massage bar, people are finding plants growing in their bathtubs, showers and drains!


I'm not sure why Lush does this sort of stuff, but I'm thankful they do.  

I get my exercise because of their strange but true additives.  

Now, if you'll excuse me for a moment, I've got to go get the lawn mower out 
and mow my wife's back!

3)  ... Obama visits Cuba!   Yes, President Obama is the first President to visit Cuba in over half a century.  While there, he made accusations that Cuba wasn't up to par in the realm of human rights.  This, of course, upset Cuban President Castro who later brought up America's own problems with racism, violence, and the prison America keeps at Guantanamo Beach, Cuba which holds and tortures war prisoners without official charges or legal trial.


Too often, we forget that our house is not the cleanest.  Oh, you can sweep most things under the rug for a while, but that doesn't mean the neighbors don't see the dust bunnies under the end table.

Politicians, who are caught in the political El Toro defecation they spout so freely, need a reminder and an awakening that their job is not as a leader, but as a representative of the people they supposedly represent.  Castro basically threw Obama under the bus and said, "When you get your house clean, then you can come back and bitch about mine."  

I would loved to have seen Obama's face when confronted with this.

People who live in glass (or White) houses 
shouldn't throw stones ...
especially if they want a discount on Cuban cigars!

4)  ...  Dancing With The Stars started a new season Monday Night!
Yep, thankful I didn't watch it!

5)  ... a fifteen-year-old West Virginia boy was killed this week playing a dangerous game called "Dodging Arrows".  Sad, but true.  Grief counselors are talking to friends and classmates.  


Old adage say, 
"If you ain't fast, you ain't gonna last!"

Shot in the head, one dead, 
game over!

Cruel, but thankful there's one less person to 
teach the game to other would be victims.

6)  ... Movies that turn ten years old this week.  Here's a list of possibly some of your favorites:  Cars, Happy Feet, Little Miss Sunshine, The Departed, Dreamgirls, The DaVinci Code and Borat.


So, your kids loved Cars and Happy Feet, you loved the DaVinci Code and The Departed, Dreamgirls reminded you of a time when Beyonce still had her head on straight, and Borat was banned from viewing unless the kids were in bed.  So, shoot me if you must, but I'd be a fool to ignore how well Little Miss Sunshine's Abigail Breslin has matured!  
WOW!!!!
*I know she wasn't in this film, 
but the song fits oh so well!

7)  ... Taco Bell meal breeds violence in Crestview, Florida!  A 51 year old woman threw a Burrito Supreme at her 66 year old husband's face after getting fed up with his drinking.  In retaliation, the husband stabbed his wife in the hand with a fork with which he was using to eat his Mexican Pizza.  Police were called and both ended up in jail for domestic violence.


This all goes to show you, 
Taco Bell doesn't get better with age, but can indeed lead you to Taco Hell!!!

Next week ...
The Walking Dead actor that almost died when zombies
 fed him a Double Decker Taco Supreme!!!
and
Did the Son of Sam killer go crazy trying to correctly spell "Quesadilla"???

8) ... Jet Blue flight attendant leaves 60 pounds of cocaine in L.A. airport!  A flight attendant was picked by the TSA for a random security check.  On the way to the inspection point, she makes a call, takes off her shoes, and runs for the exit ... leaving her baggage.  With recent bombings the primary concern, security lets her go and turns its attention to checking out the luggage, only to find 60 pounds of cocaine with a street value of over $3 million.


Yep, the attendant was later caught.  Thought she was just doing her part
 to help the airline change its name to 
JET BLOW!!!
Before you reach the airport, 
have a line, have a snort,
and you thought free miles were all that mattered!

9)  ... the Indiana University men's basketball team advanced to the Sweet Sixteen in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament!!!  
Having grown up in Indiana's basketball country, and attended IU many decades ago, my love for basketball has never faded.  Although many find my love of the game ridiculous, to me the sound of the ball bouncing on the hardwood, the screams of the fans supporting their team, and the swish of the ball going through the net provide me a rush unlike any other.  

When this post is published, Indiana will be on the court facing the number one seeded University of North Carolina.   The Hoosiers will be taking on the Tar Heels in a game that UNC is highly favored to win.  All I, and all Indiana fans can do, is hope for fair officiating (for a change) and a repeat of the last time these two teams met and Michael Jordan lost his last college ball game to the Cream and Crimson of Indiana.

May the best team win ... and UNC lose!

10) ... Paul Ryan silently campaigns...
"Hey, Hey, Hey, what about me?"

"Hello, Faletame.  Let me finish this and I'll pet you a while ... okay, boy?"

"Well, actually, I'm feeling kind of down.  I was king of the house before you brought that bitch, Gabriela here.  Now, I'm constantly watching out for her claws and temper tantrums.  You've already made me a victim of the vet's planned parenthood program, so I don't have to worry like you do, but still, she could slice off my tail!"

"Feelin' kinda down, Rich,
kinda down."

"So, why the sensitivity talk now?"

"Rich, I used to be your favorite.  But, since she got her stories posted on the web, she's the one that gets all the cat treats in the mail, and all of your attention, too!"

"Okay, sit back and let me take care of that."

10) ... for Faletame, my male cat.  He's outside my door every morning, comes into my room and gives me his love and attention while I get dressed (as well as white hair all over my black socks and slacks), and only asks for a little love and food in return.  He's my best friend, my buddy, and my one and only King of the House.  May he keep his personality, loving attitude, and playfulness forever ... along with his tail.  

"How's that, boy?"

"Pretty cool, Rich, pretty cool."

"NOW WHATCHA GONNA WRITE ABOUT ME?????"

"Oh Shit!"

Till next week,
Ciao ...
And Friggin' MEOW!



13 comments:

  1. HA! They make me laugh, but I'm glad you still lavish care and attention to Faletame, in spite of being under Gabriela's (do cats have thumbs?)...thrall.

    I'm horrified by the bombings in the news. More horrified to learn there have been so many NOT in the news. That sucks worse. Well. It all sucks.

    I watched Little Miss Sunshine on the plane on the way over to Murica on my last trip. I was pleasantly surprised by how 'feel-good' it was in the end :)

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    Replies
    1. Hey, Sis, good to see you back. Missed you last time.

      The cats like you, too. I won't pass on the exact language used, but Gabriela said, "Tell that ___ ___ Brit that if she ever considers coming back to "Murica", whatever the ___ that is, she better get her British ____ in this are so we can see her, or I'm gonna _____ _____ her ____ and ____ ____." I'd take her word for it. :)

      The bombings are the act of mad men with no grip on sanity. It's sad that good Muslims are being cast as bad because of them. Kind of reminds you of Trump's snake video (it's a twist on the old parable ... you might search Youtube for it if you'd like.)

      Thanks loads for stopping in. The way views and comments have been lately, I'm about ready to stop posting. Hardly seems worth the effort. Many Thanks!

      Delete
  2. ...speaking of visiting Cuba!

    Am I the only one who got a visual from Godfather II,
    ("I know it was you, Barack. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "But Mikey, I am your older brother and you tell me what to do! Your older brother, Mikey!"

      Clark, my friend, thanks so much for stopping in. I regret my eyes are in such sad shape and I can't visit the great people I used to do religiously. By the time I get off of the computer at work at the end of the day, my eyes usually afford me a blur and double vision for the drive home. Watching three red lights when there's only one is a trip.

      I don't know what O'Bam Bam was thinking. Surely he remembered Gitmo ... or I would hope so. Has he gotten so callous he no longer considers it an imposition of human rights? Or, could it be he just doesn't give a damn. Personally, I'd take them to the Arctic Circle and let them roam free during the Winter. Didn't the French used to do that only on Devil's Island? (Yes, I've watched the old movie Papillon lately, lol)

      Again, thanks for stopping in, old friend. It means a lot!

      Delete
  3. When in the world did "Dodge Ball" become "Dodging Arrows?" What a tragedy!

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    Replies
    1. Kristi - Thanks for dropping in!

      I couldn't believe the story when I read it. And then, delving back into my memories, I remembered the same thing happening with the giant darts called "Jarts". In fact, I believe they were taken off the market because of that, as well as some people actually using them as weapons. The human mentality never ceases to amaze me.

      Thanks for stopping in! Greatly Appreciated!

      Delete
  4. I was quite happy for IU to make it to the sweet 16, especially after Purdue's disappointing defeat in the first round. March madness is nothing but fun for our family, regardless of who plays.
    Jarts...How does anyone think this is a good idea?? All I know is it was a group of men. Probably drunk ones.

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    Replies
    1. Christine, I really appreciate you coming by this week. Views have been kind of scarce.

      I really dislike the fact that the Big Ten didn't fare well in the Tourney. IU was the last hope, and UNC and the refs (one in particular that called six fouls in six trips down the floor against IU to start the second half) quickly put that to rest. Oh well, CBS will have their ratings ... and I'll still watch the final game for sure. My wife will be happy as it has been basketball on television almost every night for the last month. I have to give her credit, she's been very amiable about going to her bedroom and watching her shows. lol

      Arrow dodging and Jarts ... well, we've got to weed out the stupids in the population somehow, don't we? :) Seriously, I really wonder if kids think it daring, or simply haven't been taught any common sense by their parents. And, being drunk would definitely be a likelihood.

      Many Thanks!

      Delete
  5. Just as long as we remember, not only the attacks when they happen here in North America and over in Europe, but those like the one to kill so many peole/children, in Pakistan.
    Government officials are hypocrites all the time, but still feel like the US visiting Cuba is a step in the right direction.

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    1. Kerry, thank you so much for stopping by. I've been considering leaving the hop as views are down somewhat.

      I couldn't agree more with you about recognizing the killings in other countries. The American news stations seem to whiz over those if they mention them at all. They'd rather broadcast questionable stories about police brutality and such than show the horror that the rest of the world is sustaining. Perhaps if more concentration was spent on that, the rest would begin to be seen as menial as it truly is.

      I'm thinking there's more to the visit to Cuba than what's been announced. America leased the land Gitmo is located on at one time from the Cuban government. I'm wondering when that lease runs out (if it does) and if the U.S. isn't worried about a hostile nation so close to our borders housing future terrorists and such. Then again, it could be strictly a financial thing like many have speculated. Cuba once was a vacation gambling haven for many, including organized crime, reaping in millions of dollars a year. Perhaps the U.S. is thinking tax dollars of sorts. lol

      Again, thanks for stopping in. I've missed your comments. Many Thanks!

      Delete
  6. You know, I think your news rendition of Thankfuls could become a podcast. LOL. I do learn a lot from you since I don't usually listen to NPR on my commutes anymore - I get way too pissed off.
    Anyways, Cuba, West Virginia, Taco Bell, JetBlue, Dancing with the Stars...yes, you definitely have captured the "best of humanity" right here. LOL

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